How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[BABANGUIDE64]

Usually my dreams are very abstract or fucked up but wholly unrealistic so therefore my worst dreams are the realistic ones.

Sometimes in the middle of a dream I realize that I'm in it and try to make it more and more nightmarish. But it doesn't turn into a horrific nightmare.
I just wake up.

 

[Core Theorist]

I am in physical agony and thought a long warm bath would help and... it didn't lmao.

Was still nice though. I wish we had them sci-fi healing tubes so I could just climb in the goo tube for a few hours and then come out squeaky clean and in top condition. Alas.

 

[I (Don't) Have A Gun]

Taking it slow. 2024 was a rough one for me. 2025 I've distanced myself from the shitty people I had in my life (which was most of the people in my life...), focussing on myself a bit more (which basically just means taking care of my physical and mental health and hitting the gym).
Every now and then I do kinda look back with rose-tinted glasses... but then I remember how miserable I was and I'm happier now, just overall happier. I do sometimes get a bit lonely, so that's something I'll deal with in time. Find a hobby, do something fun, meet new people etc. for now just taking it slow.

So overall pretty good.

 

[Ratboy Genius]

Does anybody have any advice in regards to OCD, especially BFRBs (body focused repetitive behaviors)?? I suffer severely from ocd on many levels like disturbing thoughts, counting, and especially bfrbs. For example, hair pulling and skin picking, but there are more. If you can imagine a specific bfrb then I probably have it.

Also I want to share some more uplifting images with y'all. Whenever I come across something like these that really hits deep, I save it to my camera roll so I can see it often, and be encouraged by its message. Pls enjoy ^^

Spoiler: image dump

 

[Brain Power]

Man, FUCK USPS. They took over 3 MONTHS to send some shit to my country and I didn't even get a notice about anything, and if not for me checking the tracking I would have never found out the package had already arrived at my city a week ago, but the postal service from here was taking their sweet time calculating customs. I ended up going there personally to pay that immediately but I almost ended up with no package today because they close at 18:00, the person who attended me disappeared after telling me to walk around while they processed my stuff (that supposedly took half an hour at best, but I went there at 16:00 and still got nothing at 17:45) and no one else there bothered to call me to say "we're done, come get your package!" despite them having my number. At least nothing was broken, unlike that time PostNL sent something and it arrived with a smashed up box (and they also took their sweet time sending it here).

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Normies are actually better than they're chronically claimed to be. Normies are mostly nice people and I just don't see anything bad about being a normie.

I'll say... kinda.
I think one of your issues though that I've seen a lot on this thread that you've proclaimed yourself is you think if you're not a normie that reality is validating you a failure and anyone who has problems with mainstream appeal is obviously one too, which is, quite frankly, fucking retarded.
It's a fine line.
Normies can mostly be chill and accommodating people but they're also the reason anything stupid or insane in history has ever achieved a foothold in the world. Normies prop up bad shit and don't have the strength or inner monologue to say shit is bad.
I think the best way to exist is to be someone who isn't completely normal but also knows how to temper their more ill-natured impulses.
I also don't really hold them to the same standard as people who fall outside the lines, kind of like I do rich people. Because let's be honest, if you're someone who had a stabile childhood, a good friend group, and enough wealth to not panic, there's no reason for you NOT to be a "nice person", you were essentially born on third base and made a homerun.
Saying all normies are just evil sheep who have no value system or original thought is about as stupid as saying all "non-normal" people are just misanthropic lolcows on the level Chris who are inherently evil and their suffering is justified.
It's a thought I spend more time on then most things but I think people (especially on here) really never take the time to measure the things in society that people should uphold versus the rules we should break and the respect we should give to people who fall anywhere in between those extremes.
You can fall through the cracks of the world and not be a bad person and you can be just an average joe without being the embodiment of an authoritarian schoolyard bully.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Does anybody have any advice in regards to OCD, especially BFRBs (body focused repetitive behaviors)?? I suffer severely from ocd on many levels like disturbing thoughts, counting, and especially bfrbs. For example, hair pulling and skin picking, but there are more. If you can imagine a specific bfrb then I probably have it.

My honest best advice as someone who's suffered through it is to remember that if you don't walk back to the same place you just were and do a slightly different walk five times, that all your friends and family truly will be tortured to death and you will burn in hell for all eternity.

I hope that helps.

 

[Doktor Grimm]

Does anybody have any advice in regards to OCD, especially BFRBs (body focused repetitive behaviors)?? I suffer severely from ocd on many levels like disturbing thoughts, counting, and especially bfrbs. For example, hair pulling and skin picking, but there are more. If you can imagine a specific bfrb then I probably have it.

It's difficult but sometimes you have to not do the thing and sit with the discomfort. Find a time when you don't need to be operating at maximum capacity and tell yourself "I am not going to indulge any of my compulsions for X duration". Set your initial goals small -- a minute, five minutes, 10 minutes, & see how long you can last from there. It'll be an active struggle, and you'll probably lose a bit of sleep, but it really genuinely helps.

Generally, I don't struggle with BFRBs as much -- though I do have a nasty nail biting habit which I address by chewing gum (good) and smoking cigs (bad) -- but I'd guess that you can apply similar principles there. I've heard of a technique called "decoupling" in which you force yourself to perform a counter-action before repeating a compulsive behaviour, like pulling your hand away when you're about to skin pick. Supposedly it serves to break up those psychic pathways.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Is it sad to I feel like you've lost the last thing you were proud of over just a youtube video? Because that's exactly how I feel. You know, for the last two years I kept going only in hopes that I will turn my life around and introduce more people to the truth about certain people and now it all was for nothing. The correct choice was to give up and I couldn't even do that.

 

[Lukie]

Is it sad to I feel like you've lost the last thing you were proud of over just a youtube video? Because that's exactly how I feel. You know, for the last two years I kept going only in hopes that I will turn my life around and introduce more people to the truth about certain people and now it all was for nothing. The correct choice was to give up and I couldn't even do that.

DM me your videos I'd love to have a lookie.

Take joy in your journey, the things you learnt along the way. Most people just don't have that natural curiosity, those that have a little need to go through certain pipes.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

DM me your videos I'd love to have a lookie.

Take joy in your journey, the things you learnt along the way. Most people just don't have that natural curiosity, those that have a little need to go through certain pipes.

It was only this one, but then that was the only one that mattered.

Aaaaaand YouTube sides with pedos yet again! Good job!
View attachment 7045184

Spoiler: Context

First they struck it down over "harmful content for children" over a clip at the beginning where a boy throws a rock at a wall and runs away unharmed while it collapses in the distance. I tried to appeal it - denied. I contact support - they check it and say "no, you are in the wrong, bye". Ok, I edit that part out, upload it again and receive a strike over "sexualising minors" which is just... So I am in the wrong, not the degenerate I condemn there? File an appeal - denied. Try contacting support - either they don't work today or I am blacklisted. (EDIT: got a response, it went as well as the previous time, I give up.) So the lesson YT is trying to teach me is basically "it is ok to do this shit on our platform, it is not ok to condemn it in a safest way possible".

You can still watch uncensored version here.
And watch/download censored version here.

 

[Just a boring name]

I'm a fair bit worried because my husband has found a lump on one of his balls.
I know that there is more likelihood of it being something NOT cancer, but, fck, I'm scared.

He has an appointment at the doctor tomorrow.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Bit of an update on my dad's sickness; bad news is, whatever he caught seemed to have gotten passed over to my mother. Good news is, the worst parts of it seem to be over with, and the doctor confirmed it's nothing too major; apparently, it's just some kind of head cold. So, they're both recovering.

 

[DJ Grelle]

>two flat tires in two days

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Sometimes it sucks to (voluntarily, and I like it) spend a lot of time trying to give a lot to/ support people, but then realizing I don't have people to go to when I need the same or want to unload. Just feeling a little on-edge...and probably just feeling sorry for myself.

Onward. Stiff upper lip.

I need to fix some things. And probably could use a boxing/ punching bag. And a therapist.

 

[isalaide]

Does anybody have any advice in regards to OCD, especially BFRBs (body focused repetitive behaviors)?? I suffer severely from ocd on many levels like disturbing thoughts, counting, and especially bfrbs. For example, hair pulling and skin picking, but there are more. If you can imagine a specific bfrb then I probably have it.

Picky pads. Temu have the exact same ones as Amazon but much cheaper, so get some now from Amazon to hold you over until your Temu order comes. There are youtube videos on how to make your own and 'remake' ones you've bought. Cut your fingernails as short as possible every day or two. Try wearing a hat whenever you're awake.

I will guess you've been offered medication but it didn't work. If not, try medication at a low dose, particularly if you're disfiguring yourself with your picking sites and severity.

 

[obsdj]

Sometimes it sucks to (voluntarily, and I like it) spend a lot of time trying to give a lot to/ support people, but then realizing I don't have people to go to when I need the same or want to unload. Just feeling a little on-edge...and probably just feeling sorry for myself.

You've always got us.

Oh, wait.

 

[Mop_Bucket]

60 days sober, feeling and looking better, mind feels clear. In a bit of an "are we, aren't we" with a woman which I'm more or less just seeing where it goes. Spoke to my brother for the first time in over a year and of course it's because he needed something, he at least had the decency to at least SEEM ashamed of the circumstances.

Work is shit, got pulled into a contractual situation where the company wants to find a way to weasel out of an obligation while making it seem like they're not. A lot of irritating back and forth that's completely unproductive and just wasting time. Trying to use this nonsense to motivate me to finish up some licensing stuff to hopefully break away and start my own business.

 

[obsdj]

Due to a modest lull in my personal dramas (and the Farms being down all morning), I decided that instead of dooming and panicking and wondering when the next axe will fall on me, I would finally start on a long-neglected jigsaw puzzle. The lighting in this room is shit, and a bunch of the pieces turned out not to have separated properly in the cutting so I had to be That Guy and painstakingly pull them all apart while searching for edge pieces, but this is giving me some much-needed quietness of mind. I don't know if there are any other puzzle Kiwis, but I definitely recommend trying one if you have the space to do so and you're stressing out.

View attachment 6932582

I finally finished my 2000-piece puzzle today. I had taken a break for a week or so but went back to it because the quietude of working on it really had a noticeable effect on my mood. In spite of shitty lighting, lumpy tablecloth, and my own shitty eyesight, I got it done and I can keep it on the table to be proud of for a day or two before I take it apart and box it up again to be re-done in a couple of years. I already have a fresh puzzle to replace it with, and I think I'll keep this little hobby going for a while since it seems to be good for easing my broken brain waves.

 

[PaleTay]

I'd give anything to work a decent job near my house with at least somewhat normal people around my age but there's limited and mostly solo hours for most career focused jobs and most of the other ones go to immigrants or have really high turnover. I don't mind older co-workers but I'm tired of being basically the only one under 50.