How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Nick Obre]

Encountered an old coworker.

She's this girl who back then was really pretty, her face was never the typical kind of beauty but it was offset by being very European-looking, which is uncommon here. Natural blonde, blue eyes, and a frankly great body. She was always a shitlib and started a strike with the syndicate in our job, for reasons completely unjustified, basically "they don't treat me as nice as they did in my previous job". It was evident from her behavior and even from what she told us, that she had coasted her entire life on being pretty and getting special treatment for it.

She got fat! Like, proper fucking fat! Not quite a deathfat but still really fucking fat. And she's combative about it, trying to make it seem like she doesn't care but she's clearly lashing out defensively. And even more vociferous of a shitlib.

Last I saw her, she was dating this really handsome and cool guy, who was a total bro, to boot. She seems to be single now.
I wonder what happened.

 

[Kit Marz]

My identical twin has died and a part of me has died forever with him gone. I have never been in this much pain. I will miss him forever

 

[DavidS877]

I don't share much personal stuff. Mom is in the hospital by our 'lake house' far from home and my brother who lives with her still at 30+ doesn't drive on freeways. So I got the emergency 14 hour drive to be near her and take care of stuff until she can be transferred closer or go home from this one.

Fuck family getting older.

 

[Slav Power]

Not good. No idea how to stop myself from doing things that I know are bad for me and get myself to do things that would be beneficial. Pretty much all of my problems stem from my lack of action but I have no idea what it is that has to change in my mind to finally start acting. Whether it's cowardice or laziness, I don't know. Plus I have no idea what to do or what it is that I even want to do, or what it is that I actually want. For now I'm just coasting, waiting for things to happen. Maybe I'm expecting for too much to happen in a short timespan which makes me increasingly angry, but at the same time I don't want to coast any longer knowing how much time I've wasted already doing nothing. I don't even know myself, I'm angry and confused and I can't think clearly about what to do. It's a shit spot to be in and it's all a me problem that I can't solve. Not that I'm a unique case in this.

 

[Lukie]

Not good. No idea how to stop myself from doing things that I know are bad for me and get myself to do things that would be beneficial. Pretty much all of my problems stem from my lack of action but I have no idea what it is that has to change in my mind to finally start acting. Whether it's cowardice or laziness, I don't know. Plus I have no idea what to do or what it is that I even want to do, or what it is that I actually want. For now I'm just coasting, waiting for things to happen. Maybe I'm expecting for too much to happen in a short timespan which makes me increasingly angry, but at the same time I don't want to coast any longer knowing how much time I've wasted already doing nothing. I don't even know myself, I'm angry and confused and I can't think clearly about what to do. It's a shit spot to be in and it's all a me problem that I can't solve. Not that I'm a unique case in this.

You ever get diagnosed for ADHD?

I know someone who is just like that. But when it comes to something they enjoy/ find stimulating they come alive and burn themselves out.

 

[Slav Power]

You ever get diagnosed for ADHD?

Maybe once as a kid but not properly. Might be worth a try looking into that though.

 

[Lukie]

Maybe once as a kid but not properly. Might be worth a try looking into that though.

Deffo look into it.

And don't be too hard on yourself about your inaction. Life can be hard enough without beating ourselves up! If you're coasting it means that you are moving.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Not good. No idea how to stop myself from doing things that I know are bad for me and get myself to do things that would be beneficial. Pretty much all of my problems stem from my lack of action but I have no idea what it is that has to change in my mind to finally start acting. Whether it's cowardice or laziness, I don't know. Plus I have no idea what to do or what it is that I even want to do, or what it is that I actually want. For now I'm just coasting, waiting for things to happen. Maybe I'm expecting for too much to happen in a short timespan which makes me increasingly angry, but at the same time I don't want to coast any longer knowing how much time I've wasted already doing nothing. I don't even know myself, I'm angry and confused and I can't think clearly about what to do. It's a shit spot to be in and it's all a me problem that I can't solve. Not that I'm a unique case in this.

Yeah I'm not sure how widespread it is but I've noticed a paralysis both personally and in general, and I'm not really sure why. Maybe there's simply so much stuff that happens in the world that's outside of our control that eventually you develop a sort of learned helplessness.

It's a really strange phenomenon, and a lot of times my brain feels so distant and cooked by it all that I can't even remember what it was like existing back in a time when it felt like things actually happened and there were engaging prospects in the world. I'm not even sure what a person's supposed to aspire to anymore. Tbh someone could hand me a million dollars a year for nothing, no need to worry about money or work, and I'm still not really sure I'd know what to do with it.

It's not even like a depression thing (although it is fairly depressing), just a bizarre overarching sense of incongruence and alienation from it all, and the only way to cope seems to be to wake up every day and try to focus on whatever is in front of you at any given moment.

Even the concept of death feels a little strange at this point, because it seems like there's no way this is really the real deal.
I do suspect technology is partly to blame for that though, spending so much time in a transhumanist environment probably leads to a level of derealization.

My point though is...yes

You ever get diagnosed for ADHD?

I know someone who is just like that. But when it comes to something they enjoy/ find stimulating they come alive and burn themselves out.

They probably would get diagnosed. Personally, no exaggeration, every single male friend or family member who work a white collar job has been diagnosed as ADHD, and I'm pretty sure the more blue collar ones haven't mainly because they don't go to psychiatrists.

It would just be great if the meds actually worked though, because they always seem to either A) provide nothing except side effects (which is allegedly a sign you're ADHD, except that doesn't address the fact that the pills don't actually work), or B) make the person tweaked out, which will make them think that it's helping them when in reality they're just getting high and it won't last.

 

[Lukie]

It would just be great if the meds actually worked though, because they always seem to either A) provide nothing except side effects (which is allegedly a sign you're ADHD, except that doesn't address the fact that the pills don't actually work), or B) make the person tweaked out, which will make them think that it's helping them when in reality they're just getting high and it won't last.

Oh sure, I wasn't recommending medication. But I have seen people become more accepting of themselves when it's been underlined that yeah this is why they behave this way.

@Slav Power In fact I had a work colleague who started taking Methylphenidate. He killed himself last year. Looks like the side effects may have contributed!

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

"hey man, you should try making a tinder! Maybe go find a nice girl or something!"

Legit, I feel like I'm looking at an escort catalog. Absolute fatherless behavior.

I certainly missed the boat to finding a decent partner, I must accept this. Good god I fucking hate what's happened to society lol

Legit, dying alone with a slug in my head is a preferable fate to dating a coalburner with a triple digit body count. At least I'll have my fucking dignity lol

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

The apartment hunt is.... going. I've done the math and I can afford a studio or lower end 1 bedroom with how much I earn and still save money if I cut back on my luxury spending. It's just hard to find a place that doesn't hit any of my dealbreakers. One was alright but the bedroom had tile flooring and it was way too small for my gaming setup. The place I looked at today was almost completely perfect, but it didn't have on site laundry (there was a miscommunication about that from the rental company, they said it did have a washer/dryer in unit).

And so the hunt continues.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

My cat hit ten years old today, even though my vet didn’t expect her to. It’s basically one big middle finger to FIV. I love my kitty.

 

[souschef]

As i'm smoking my last cig i forgot i didn't buy more and the store is now closed

It's over

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Not good. No idea how to stop myself from doing things that I know are bad for me and get myself to do things that would be beneficial. Pretty much all of my problems stem from my lack of action but I have no idea what it is that has to change in my mind to finally start acting. Whether it's cowardice or laziness, I don't know. Plus I have no idea what to do or what it is that I even want to do, or what it is that I actually want. For now I'm just coasting, waiting for things to happen. Maybe I'm expecting for too much to happen in a short timespan which makes me increasingly angry, but at the same time I don't want to coast any longer knowing how much time I've wasted already doing nothing. I don't even know myself, I'm angry and confused and I can't think clearly about what to do. It's a shit spot to be in and it's all a me problem that I can't solve. Not that I'm a unique case in this.

"Sometimes we are so afraid to make the wrong decision that we decide not to act at all." I can only advice not to be harsh on yourself. You're already on edge over this stuff, so pushing yourself further not going to help a thing. As for the time lost - this is unwinnable game. You can always regret over not spending it more efficiently, but as they say "the best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago, the next best time is now".

 

[IKOL]

It's freakin' May weather there, lads, it's +20 on da street and me bollocks are sweating like crazy, duuuuude.

In less TMI retardation news, I had an interview yesterday, saw the potential workplace today. Well, I can safely say I wish to work there. The downside here, however, is that I have to traverse from one end of the city to another, and I don't even live in city, but in near settlement. There's also a question of working schedule. It's either 2/2 12AM-12PM or 5/2 8-hours per day with "swinging" time. In all honesty both schedules are shit but second one ends up being way cheaper in terms of road expenses. So I would like to stay here and work 5/2. On top of that I'll be able to do evening stream sessions if I'll want to.

 

[Ventrue]

Great! I have found my external hard drive that I lost years ago it has every song I ever downloaded that's thousands of songs some of those songs are rare and hard to find. I have been listening to music all week.

 

[Liquid Kent]

Reaching the 6month mark in this new job.
My relationship broke down after close to 3 years with someone I thought was the love of my life.
Not much left till next payday, end of the month
Unlocked all of the Krypt areas in MK11 and replaying Black Flag while looking to reclaim Transformers I sold off years ago for previous failed relationships.
Life is somehow good.
No sarcasm or stupid RLM witty humor, truly, my life is good.

 

[Señora Airi]

The parishoner with Leukemia was taken out of the hospital. She only has a few days left.

 

[Cemetery Support]

"hey man, you should try making a tinder! Maybe go find a nice girl or something!"

Legit, I feel like I'm looking at an escort catalog. Absolute fatherless behavior.

You're not going to find your partner in crime in a swipeable stack. The faster you can deprogram yourself from thinking about finding love the way that Tinder wants you to, the faster you're on your way to being the kind of person a woman wants to be with.

Besides, the internet is not the real world and it's best to not interact with people for whom it is. This applies to both women and men.

I am doing okay. I am taking a bit of time to myself to be alone. It feels good. I have a lot of work that needs to be done and I work best in solitude. I have to prevent the work from piling up or I will die.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

I had a project lined up for today using my precious free time. I arranged everything superbly, got my safety gear, had plans B and C ready to go just in case, and engaged safety squints.
None of them worked. Plan A failing was unexpected. Plan B was entirely impractical given the nature of A's failure. Plan C's stoppage was out of my control and was the absolute last resort.

My previously good mood has been pitched into the Grand Canyon.