How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Years over half over, missed my shot for a deadline on a big project I was working on and now it's not gonna matter because the one time only joke context is lost, same result as every project since a year or so after corona hit. Worse still i missed out on a lot of recreational stuff that could have likely helped mentally and scheduling still hasn't lined up for proper life shit.
 
Years over half over, missed my shot for a deadline on a big project I was working on and now it's not gonna matter because the one time only joke context is lost, same result as every project since a year or so after corona hit. Worse still i missed out on a lot of recreational stuff that could have likely helped mentally and scheduling still hasn't lined up for proper life shit.
work project?
Very physically unwell in a very anxiety-inducing way, probably Multiple Sclerosis since that's the family tradition. If I have it, I'm the youngest so far to get it (probably because I've been drunk for most of the last few decades). I can still play guitar and talk shit on the internet though.
so sorry, my mother suffers from it, if I can be encouraging with medication she has not gotten any bad side effects in 5 years
 
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Nobody was outright mean or anything but I sure as fuck feel alienated as all hell.
I feel like this a lot too, I wish I was closer with the friends I have. It just seems like everybody has their group except for me sometimes. What helps me to not feel like such a loser is thinking about how most people are fake as fuck anyway, would you rather be lonely or hang out with people who will shit on you once you turn your back? Take it into consideration. I hope things get better, for all of us!

Very late (lol) but happy 4th to all in this thread.
 
I need to study for this IT certification (Network+) but im way too fucking lazy. I'm unemployed and doing nothing but I still can't be fucked. I've studied for this thing twice before (Feb and December of 2024) but never bothered to finish it. On the plus side I got a 67% on a practice test a couple days ago so I think I can just go through these exams, learn what I got wrong and just brute force it and not subject myself to a 35 hour video course again.

Also the job I left after 2 weeks is still struggling to hire people 2 months after I left so thats very lulzy.
 
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Once again, it's mixed. For IRL stuff, my job is going... well, for the most part, though I am getting increasingly frustrated with people in general. Not a fan of the tranny co-worker; can confirm that she's a solid worker, but some of the crap she's espousing (i.e., Christianity is unimportant and doesn't need to be taught in schools, they instead need more gender studies and faggot representation) makes my skin crawl. Doesn't help that my job's schedule is designed to where it takes up most of my time; gets exceptionally exhausting trying to get anything done.

Health's been a mixed bag as well; stomach virus, headaches, sleep issues, the whole nine yards. Pretty sure it's partially caused by my job, at least; constantly around bright lights in a darker area, along with nonstop loud noises causing a sensory overload and the constant smell of cigarettes, human shit, and who-knows-what-else. So, that's just fun.

Writing's a mixed bag as well; got the main storyline mostly planned out, character design's nailed down, all's I need to do is get a few lingering issues figured out and I'm ready to really make some progress. Reason why I say that it's a mixed bag is that... well, I've realized that I've been focusing on "what's better for the story" rather than whether or not I'd actually like to write it. It was supposed to be a smaller project that I'd write in for fun that gradually became a LOT bigger than I initially planned, though as it happens it also kinda became a lot less fun for me to really design for. Make no mistake; I like the ideas that I've got down, it's just that it's not quite the playful little hobby project I intended. Right now, I'm currently jotting out a smaller side-story for actually goofing around with; holding off on the bigger plot until a better time.
 
I'm recovering from a breakup since early April (first relationship for both of us that lasted five years) and honestly thought I was over with the whole situation and ready to move on with my life. But that was before some friends who are still around her told me about a rumor that my ex was already talking to someone else (Only two months since breaking up, and I had known a bit about him ). This hurt of course, but it was nothing compared to what I felt after looking at a picture of this guy. He's overweight, his facial hair looks like this but worse, and has lip, septum, and eyebrow piercings. Everyone who talked to me about the situation all said he gives pedophile/creep vibes or that he looks like he preys on children on Discord. Judging from every picture I've seen of him, it's impossible for him to make a normal face towards the camera, he straight up looks fucking retarded . He kind of looks like the latino alternate style version of Nova Online (Tiktok video) and someone who's half-in on coming out as a tranny. This dude is downright ugly, Reddit mod to the ninth degree. I'm not going to act like I look like Brad Pitt or Leonardo Dicaprio or whoever but I keep decent care of myself. This has been seriously messing with my mental health but is also pushing me to better myself even more.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
 
I wish I could be happy with the people who are just there but they're boring and not very nice, and sometimes I can but I'm sick of being the nicest, most interesting, life of the party in every social event in a small town but getting to just be myself in a city.
 
I'm a bad person. I yelled at my colleague, when we were yapping about some bullshit during a break. Nobody deserves being shouted at. Being unable to keep calm embarasses me and I feel guilty for the way I was talking and for my aggression towards a person who did not deserve that. That was a shy person I myself made even more secluded (at least as I could see it).
Now I know a little more how much of an insufferable faggot I am. A moment of clarity
 
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I'm a bad person. I yelled at my colleague, when we were yapping about some bullshit during a break. Nobody deserves being shouted at. Being unable to keep calm embarasses me and I feel guilty for the way I was talking and for my aggression towards a person who did not deserve that. That was a shy person I myself made even more secluded (at least as I could see it).
Now I know a little more how much of an insufferable a faggot I am. A moment of clarity
Hey man, I've been there more times than I can count. The best thing you can do is to sincerely apologize, let them know that it wasn't personal, and move on. And just in case you're worried how their reaction might be, remember that a person's reaction to something says more about them than it does about you. I'm sure it'll all work out!
Not too well. I accidentally walked onto a private property before seeing the “No Trespassing” signs. There were cameras set up and signs that said “Trespassers will be prosecuted”. I don’t want to be arrested.
I wouldn't worry about it, I've done that before too. I wasn't arrested for it, so I'm sure you won't be either!
Same as usual, my little sister is unfortunately going through some bad stuff, so if any my fellow Christian Kiwis can pray for her, that would be great.
Sending prayers!
 
Nobody deserves being shouted at.
Lots of people deserve being shouted at including me.
Not too well. I accidentally walked onto a private property before seeing the “No Trespassing” signs. There were cameras set up and signs that said “Trespassers will be prosecuted”. I don’t want to be arrested.
My personal favorite someone I knew had was "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."
 
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I’m waiting to hear about acceptance into a specialty international program as an adjunct to my current degree, and I’m really nervous. Applied in the Netherlands, Germany, Ireland, NZ, and Canada, so I’m hoping at least one university will accept me, and hopefully help me with a path to residency and a future.

It’s going to cause a clusterfuck with my current residency status in another country, but I would rather live in a European or English speaking country if I can, and I’m not going back to the US.

It’s unfortunate though, that I don’t feel safe going back and doing so would be really logistically difficult, because my grandmother died on Saturday. She was 97, so not unexpected. I just have to honor her in my own way, so I made a donation to a hunger relief organization. She also loved ice cream, so I’ll try to find an indoor place to eat some soon. It’s so [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] hot here that if you buy ice cream in summer and take it home, you’ll just end up with soup, and if you try to eat a cone outdoors, you’re going to end up wearing half of it.
 
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