How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Sergeant Major Buzzkill]

I've already bought her her Christmas gift for this year, but after that I'll be switching to gift cards. I'm not going through the "why did you get such a lame <object>" shit again. At least unlike my oldest brother's spoiled rank kids she won't be expecting people to spend hundreds of dollars on her every time.

She'd best be grateful someone in her family was considerate enough to give her anything. Tried to pull that whining when I was little, got a verbal beatdown immeadiately.

 

[alpha889boba]

Had a realization I have become a coomer and hate myself for falling that far. Working on a way to deal with it. Sorry if TMI

 

[The Feline Solution]

Once again i am at the point where i am totally fed up with everything and nothing is fun anymore. Last two weeks are a blur and i feel like i am missing days. Time to quit using again, which isn't that hard but makes the day to day even more boring. Can't play games, can't watch films, can't read books, everything feels completly pointless and i derive no joy from it.

Some good shit happened so i try not to be too fucked off with everything: Met up with my oldest friend who i haven't seen in almost a year, his wife and kids were out of town so we spent a late evening playing vidya and doing bumps of Speed like when we were 14 years old, was baller as fuck.
Taking a bit more care of my girlfriend, too, God knows i neglected her too much in the last couple of months. She's a trooper but i know she's not too thrilled when i am using and become almost robotic in my interactions with her.
Gonna see my cousin on Sunday, who i also neglected like a motherfucker, which i feel guilty about, which he knows and which he'll make plenty of fun of when he sees me. Gonna see my niece and nephew then, too, according to my cousin my nephew has gone hardcore christian and full-on gay and muslim basher, with a sprinkling of Holocaust revionism, can't wait to talk to him, it will be hilarious.

 

[glass_houses]

She'd best be grateful someone in her family was considerate enough to give her anything. Tried to pull that whining when I was little, got a verbal beatdown immeadiately.

Yeah, see, my nephew came and said that to me after he heard his father say it. It wasn't quite the final straw, but the camel was definitely struggling at that point. I sucked it up for our parents' sake, but a year later I saw them at our youngest brother's wedding, when they collectively dropped one of those massive round hay bales and crushed every single bone in the camel's body. I was done. Completely done. Haven't spoken to those awful people in sixteen years. It's been wonderful.

Had an 'episode' and I've blown pretty much my entire pay for this fortnight. I have food, meds, rent is paid etc, but two bills are going to have to be deferred and I'm going to be scratching for milk money. Running out of milk is a huge issue for me, it's a staple the way bread is for others.

Why the fuck can't I have a functional brain? What shitty thing did I do in my past life to deserve such awful karma?

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

Once again i am at the point where i am totally fed up with everything and nothing is fun anymore. Last two weeks are a blur and i feel like i am missing days. Time to quit using again, which isn't that hard but makes the day to day even more boring. Can't play games, can't watch films, can't read books, everything feels completly pointless and i derive no joy from it.

Same fren my university courses and career path I feel ruined my fucking life so much that Im pretty much dead inside and my mind is living in the past. My new job treats me like shit, just like the previous one, expected to work around 12 hours a day straight with just enough time for the loo and lunch. Im having neck pain, shoulder pain, headaches at the top of my spine and hip pain, I get no time to draw or write anymore, Im occupied with housework masters preparation and maintenance the time im not working, I dont enjoy anything like I used to, I cant sleep properly and get up constantly at nighttime, the more I see newgrounds and R34 shit the more I get depressed that Im not skilled young like others. People around are getting fucking sick, one of the new neighbors died, uncle got heart problems out of the blue, I just want to fucking die cause life has never been good since first year university in 2018. Shit just went from good to mediocre and constantly switches between dogshit and mediocre.

 

[The Feline Solution]

the more I see newgrounds and R34 shit the more I get depressed that Im not skilled young like others

This is what gives me grief right now, can't even watch a simple YT video without thinking "Nigga, you fucked your life up, should've done better". It'll pass but it wasn't this bad in years and i don't like it. There is, of course, a degree of truth to these thoughts but beating myself up about shit that can't be changed solves nothing.

 

[Disco Inferno]

I found a significant other and things are going good. It's improved my life/mood significantly.
Only downside is that they're a normie, with a normie personality, and a normie sense of humor. Words like "faggot" and "retard" make them uncomfortable. I showed her a video about nova online, and they felt bad for him. So, watching and talking about lolcows isn't an option.

I hate going mask on in relationships. But I guess the good outweigh the bad.

 

[R.S.o.E]

Nearing the end of my week off college. I'll be back in next Monday. Actually can't wait. Chances are I'll be playing a different instrument that isn't guitar this time. Personally, I'd love to learn how to play drums a bit better. I've been learning during the spare time I have at college because I actually can't fit a drum kit in my bedroom.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Physically my body is panicking. Mentally? I'm doing okay. Body's just losing its shit I guess.

 

[Second Sun]

Dating apps are still going poorly. It's entirely possible I'm too ugly for anything other than a fat chick, and I absolutely refuse to lower myself to that, but I guess we'll see.

I don't hate my life being single, it's more that ending up with someone was my whole motivation for working hard and getting my shit together that past few years.

 

[dick brain]

Just had the most textbook meet-cute I've ever experienced and had to leave it at that because I'm fresh out of a six year relationship and not ready.

Big sad.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Had a realization I have become a coomer and hate myself for falling that far. Working on a way to deal with it. Sorry if TMI

You’re on the right track. Move away from that shit and rediscover that the real world has better for you. You’ve got to trade short-term for long-term. Keep your mind on that and you’ll be able to create a life you’re proud of.

Yeah, see, my nephew came and said that to me after he heard his father say it. It wasn't quite the final straw, but the camel was definitely struggling at that point. I sucked it up for our parents' sake, but a year later I saw them at our youngest brother's wedding, when they collectively dropped one of those massive round hay bales and crushed every single bone in the camel's body. I was done. Completely done. Haven't spoken to those awful people in sixteen years. It's been wonderful.

Had an 'episode' and I've blown pretty much my entire pay for this fortnight. I have food, meds, rent is paid etc, but two bills are going to have to be deferred and I'm going to be scratching for milk money. Running out of milk is a huge issue for me, it's a staple the way bread is for others.

Why the fuck can't I have a functional brain? What shitty thing did I do in my past life to deserve such awful karma?

Don’t give up. Are you in water-treading space, or aiming to something different? Either way, hang in there.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Sister was telling me a story about one of her friends and asked if I’ve ever met her. I replied “no, uh huh” tried following that up with trying to be funny and imitating Buffalo Bill asking “oh wait…is she a great big fat person?”

Apparently so. Sister didn’t get the reference and is now annoyed with me. I find it funny. Sorry, didn’t know your friend was a hambeast.

 

[glue eater]

I mentioned I was trying to get a new job, went to second round of interviews a few days ago and got the job. Take that, Optimistic-raters. I will be working as a codemonkey, really happy, I had been unemployed for a few months and the existential dread was creeping in. I do believe you need a job or you start rotting. Money doesn't hurt either.

Just had the most textbook meet-cute I've ever experienced and had to leave it at that because I'm fresh out of a six year relationship and not ready.

Big sad.

Come here bro, I know that feel. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years when I moved. My new neighbour immediately took interest in me, like it was so blatant I can't even put it into words without coming off as humblebrag. She was alright looking, but I honestly need time for myself, I'm not ready, and she was really hyperactive, either she was ADD/BPD or on drugs. She did manage to drag me to her place for coffee a few times but I very politely rebuffed her advances. In the end it was the right call, she got kicked out of her apartment a few weeks ago.

 

[glass_houses]

Don’t give up. Are you in water-treading space, or aiming to something different? Either way, hang in there.

I have a lot wrong with my brain meat due to shitty genetics, and one of the manifestations is a general inability to track and plan my finances. Another is periodic bouts of compulsive spending/shopping. I've struggled with it my entire life and I suspect that I will continue to struggle with it until I die.

I mentioned I was trying to get a new job, went to second round of interviews a few days ago and got the job. Take that, Optimistic-raters. I will be working as a codemonkey, really happy, I had been unemployed for a few months and the existential dread was creeping in. I do believe you need a job or you start rotting. Money doesn't hurt either.

Congratulations, codemonkey! Very well done. Try not to go crazy on the first pay check (although everyone does).


Went to the brother's place today for a birthday, and I'm delighted to say that my niece behaved well, no bitchiness. I spent a good eight hours fucking with the parents' three computers. My mother's was playing up and my father had bought a new one to replace his ancient laptop. I tried to transfer the data from the ancient laptop over the wifi, but no luck. I'm going to have to use a usb and do it the old fashioned way. Think I managed to finally wrangle my mother's computer though.

I'm seriously considering taking an intermediate computer course because what little knowledge I have is wildly out of date and inadequate. I grew up with home computers, and with every new os I know less and less.

My head feels like it's been stuffed with straw. I was fucking around on kf on my mobile while I was waiting for each of the laptops to finish updating, and mum snuck up behind me and read part of a post on the Anna O'Brien/Glitterandlazers thread and was horrified. @Diet Coke 4 Life my mother now thinks you're a terrible person. Sorry.

 

[Nikes_JustDoIt]

pretty excited, celebrating my friend's birthday over the weekend and he is going to introduce his new gf to the friend group.

An update with last night, the birthday boy and his gf did not show up. The rest of the friend group did and we reversed a table but he didn't show up.
Aside from that I found out my aunt has cancer and my uncle is recovering from a stroke.

 

[dick brain]

I mentioned I was trying to get a new job, went to second round of interviews a few days ago and got the job. Take that, Optimistic-raters. I will be working as a codemonkey, really happy, I had been unemployed for a few months and the existential dread was creeping in. I do believe you need a job or you start rotting. Money doesn't hurt either.


Come here bro, I know that feel. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years when I moved. My new neighbour immediately took interest in me, like it was so blatant I can't even put it into words without coming off as humblebrag. She was alright looking, but I honestly need time for myself, I'm not ready, and she was really hyperactive, either she was ADD/BPD or on drugs. She did manage to drag me to her place for coffee a few times but I very politely rebuffed her advances. In the end it was the right call, she got kicked out of her apartment a few weeks ago.

The worst part is, tl;dr, she happened to reserve the seat next to mine for Tunnel to Summer, which depending on your interpretation is about letting go of what you've lost and embracing what's in front of you. And at that point we were two people watching a Japanese language romance movie alone together on a Saturday night and making small talk about weeb shit. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to pursue, which made it so much harder not to.

I'm taking it as a reminder that there's still a world out there for me when I recover, so I should hurry up about it.

She was excited for The Boy & The Heron, I told her I'd see her there.

 

[Foltest]

Have been sick the whole week.
Have sucked ass, but I am getting better now.
Not the coof I think.

 

[Mega Black]

Man I got 83 dollars in the bank until next Friday how's a nigga supposed to keep it real in this economy?

 

[Plantation Barbie]

The weather is quite nice today, so I went for a walk. But I'm tired and I have work so I couldn't stay and walk around as long as I wanted.