How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Doctor John B. Zyklon said:
I wonder if it's an individual thing. My dad quit cold turkey 40+ years ago, and he says cig smell makes him sick. To a point he has had to move hotel rooms if you could smell it.

Meanwhile, I don't smoke, I've had maybe 10 cigs in my entire life, and I've never smoked them properly (inhale into lungs), yet I'll get the "man, I could use a cig" feeling time to time either from stress or drinking, or my weird craving of wanting a steak, potato, dark beer and a cigar.
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I don’t ever want to say anything because I don’t want to demean peoples progress, I can quit smokes on a dime when I get addicted. Like I get the very bad cravings if I have the smokes around me I would smoke the entire pack and it’s a “out of sight out of mind thing” I think there’s something wrong with me. I found personally being a broke bitch is once I saw how much smokes cost I tried equating that cash with other items to see what I’m loosing out on.

Long story short. The human bodies weird and it’s funny how things can differ from person to person.
 
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Unexpected issue on my vacation is food anxiety given I am without a car. There are several restaurants and stuff here, but nothing is 24/7 and ofc it's expensive. I brought tons of food of course, but it just doesn't feel like very much and every time I eat I think about if I'm going to run out of food. This was never so bad until medical issues made it so much harder for me to swallow and I think about how bad off I'll be if I run out of liquid calories. I can't sleep and have this sort of thought, "Why am I here? I want to be at home in my own bed, with my own blankets, and all my things".... my first vacation isn't going so well. I also know my coworkers are getting screwed over by this and feel kinda guilty. I know they'll all be like "you were having fun while we were critically understaffed without you!" But it's like.... I'm not out here partying, I'm out here fretting about food, money, medical issues, and wanting to go home.....
 
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Been pretty decent yet unsurprisingly contrasting. Therapy went well though I still fucking dread the group aspect. Bought me some steaks on sale and chocolate turtles because I wanna spoil myself since today I celebrate another year of living.

On the flipside, I have fallen into the horrible habit of staying up way too late and I'm often tired and sluggish during the daytime. I think a present to myself will be going to bed at midnight instead of fucking 2:30.

On the other...other hand, I randomly got this urge to write a book and publish it. It's gonna be self-published since I write in English and not my native language. Gotta scrape some capital for that.
 
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Today, I was the happiest I was in years due to WrestleMania.

However, everything went to shit.

Last year, I suffered a massive heart attack at only 30 years old. I even announced it here in this thread. As you know, normal people don't get heart attacks at 30, so the doctors tested my genes. And wouldn't you know it, my genes are fucked. Thrombophilia.

My doctor advised my parents to check their genes too, to see from which one I got the broken gene, and to inform the corresponding side of the family, to check themselves too and so on.

So they get tested, and guess fucking what. They BOTH have it.

How the fuck does that happen, exactly?

And then my dog dies.

I just buried my dog.

What a shitheap of a day.
 
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I've started to see a girl, it's early days but things are good. She's had some bad news from the doctor, her fallopian tubes have cysts on them and she's going to need them removed. They think they might have to take her ovaries too. She is very upset, the scan procedure was pretty invasive and she had to go to work afterwards. I know she wants kids and one of the things that is playing on her mind is that she knows that I would like kids too. We're nowhere near kids in our relationship but this whole thing has been a big blow to her. It's a heavy subject for a woman I suppose, the possibility of children and the realty of their biology makes the whole thing a huge part of their lives. The door hasn't been fully shut for her, there are still options. The doctors may be able to save her ovaries so IVF might still be possible but the truth is that she will most likely never have kids.
 
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Betonhaus said:
Well I no longer have that remote work job, but the weather is finally becoming pleasent so I can try onto apply to more local stuff. I think I have a method that will work to find a job as an electrician.
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Depending where you are / what kind of work you do call your local sparks and ask them to pass you there "Fuck off jobs" like replacing a single socket, or running a outdoor light etc my goto spark started that way and now owns a fairly decent sized company - I pass him work an he passes me work when he can for custom light fixtures or "I know a Smith" kinda deal works wonders.

Lots of Trades ignore the small jobs but they are the ones that lead to bigger jobs an a customer base.
 
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It is once again time for me to suffer some kind of cold. This one isn't as bad as last time, in fact, most symptoms are minimum. Most. Despite being relatively on the good side, my energy has been sapped, my mouth keeps drying out, and my neck sides hurt like hell. I spent most of the day in bed, which is only slightly worse than what I usually do, which is sit on the couch.
 
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I'm doing great, I got a hot tamale and a tamarind soda at a Mennonite Mexican restaurant and saw the eclipse with my family.
terraria moment.png
 
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Flavius Claudius Julianus said:
As I write this, 21 days off the cigarettes, cold turkey. No patches, no gums, no vapes, nothing.

I feel much, much better in many ways. Still waiting for that 'could use a cig' feeling to disappear, but I'm enjoying the savings above all else.
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Keep at it, you’ve got this. :)
 
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My test stuff got resolved. They will let me retake it free of charge at my convenience.

My date went well and we are going to have a movie night next weekend.

My work contract got renewed so I get to keep a job that I find some what enjoyable.

Shits been too good, I'm starting to fear an encroaching humbling soon...
 
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WEEKEND said:
I've started to see a girl, it's early days but things are good. She's had some bad news from the doctor, her fallopian tubes have cysts on them and she's going to need them removed. They think they might have to take her ovaries too. She is very upset, the scan procedure was pretty invasive and she had to go to work afterwards. I know she wants kids and one of the things that is playing on her mind is that she knows that I would like kids too. We're nowhere near kids in our relationship but this whole thing has been a big blow to her. It's a heavy subject for a woman I suppose, the possibility of children and the realty of their biology makes the whole thing a huge part of their lives. The door hasn't been fully shut for her, there are still options. The doctors may be able to save her ovaries so IVF might still be possible but the truth is that she will most likely never have kids.
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I feel for your situation. One of my old girlfriends had a total hysto due to severe cysts.

My only word of caution is never bring this up with people if you'll get upset by them saying weird insensitive things.

There's always that person who has to go "You never know! You can never be certain! You say she can't get pregnant and then you'll have a surprise baby!" Because they themselves had unplanned kids, even if your situation is total infertility. I got pissed off at my coworker once for basically implying my girlfriend was lying about being infertile to babytrap me. Apparently that's how she got her husband to marry her- told him she was too fat to concieve so let him hit it raw. And that's how I learned to never ever bring up fertility issues with people I don't trust.

You'll also get the other end of the spectrum, which is people violently spewing r/childfree rhetoric at you. They all love to call abortion "a women's right to choose", but also you're basically a one-man ecological disaster if you want to have children, and so I've heard crazy shit as in "You're lucky because you don't have to worry about TRUMP banning birth control!"
 
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I'm suffering through the after effects of a bad cold. I'm hacking up my lungs to try and get phlegm out but it's just not working and I'm still too weak to move much without getting winded. Honestly the worst part is my sense of taste is basically gone too after the whole thing. It's just been a rough week...
 
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ChaosReignsOnSomeSaturday said:
I'm suffering through the after effects of a bad cold. I'm hacking up my lungs to try and get phlegm out but it's just not working and I'm still too weak to move much without getting winded. Honestly the worst part is my sense of taste is basically gone too after the whole thing. It's just been a rough week...
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Try huff coughing! They teach people with lung disorders this to cough effectively.
https://www.cff.org/managing-cf/coughing-and-huffing


I went to a fancy restaurant in part to escape my anger against my kitchen's evil supplier Sysco.

They give me complimentary dinner rolls because food is taking a while.

I'd recognize those Sysco heat 'n serve dinner rolls a mile away.

You can't win against Sysco.
 
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