How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

The neighbors next house are fighting again, they aren't bad people but they got issues.

Not that its my problem but the yelling is a downer, brings back bad memories...
I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an abusive father. Those yelling neighbors would bring back bad memories for me too.
 
Being online is so easy and so constant it can almost feel "hard" to pick up another medium, especially when it means you won't be able to be online while you use it. ...whether there's conscious of awareness of that or not, I think it has some marginal, at minimum, influence.
Word on that, the issue has only been exacerbated with the advent of smart phones. I often download a movie, transfer it to a USB drive, stick that shit in my TV only to spend the rest of the evening shooting the shit with friends on Whatsapp or browsing here instead of watching the movie. Same for "I'll do my chores in a bit, lemme check this thread first". Sometimes i really miss the not-always-online times.

I am sorry to read that your ex-husband is still a complete cunt. I already had that figured out when i read your first post about him and the not-paying-for-college shit but to back out of it once again is really just the lowest of the low. Shows exactly how important your kids and their future are to him. What a fucking deadbeat.
I think I am getting old. I am struggling to not fall asleep before dark.
Welcome to your 30's, i guess.
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The neighbors next door are fighting again, they aren't bad people but they got issues.

Not that its my problem but the yelling is a downer, brings back bad memories...
Man, i thought i grew numb to this shit as a kid already but it does my head in to hear the neighbours fighting, walls are paper thin here. I don't get these people, can't even remember when i last had a serious fight with my girlfriend, must've been years. Why stay with a person when five nights out of seven it sounds like you're about to murder each other? I'm so happy that the fucking retard next door moved out last year, dude was shouting like a mental patient at his toddler daughter and girlfriend constantly. I always made it a point to check out his kid for signs of physical abuse when i saw them outside, thank God i never noticed any, i would've called CPS in a heartbeat. I normally don't make other people's business my business but he sorta involved me due to the incessant shouting. Absolute trash people, pretty sure his girlfriend was hitting the pipe so there were no innocents apart from the kid in this scenario.
 
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Yesterday i had my last day of training with little sleeps, and planned to crash as soon as i got home only to find the bathroom full of bugs (like ants or flightless flies or something idk).
So instead of going straight to bed I spent three hours pulling everything out of the bathroom so i can wash every surface with borax. bathroom is clean now, but I see a hole in the sink's caulking that they come in from so I need to spray that hole with bug killer then seal it.
 
Yesterday i had my last day of training with little sleeps, and planned to crash as soon as i got home only to find the bathroom full of bugs (like ants or flightless flies or something idk).
So instead of going straight to bed I spent three hours pulling everything out of the bathroom so i can wash every surface with borax. bathroom is clean now, but I see a hole in the sink's caulking that they come in from so I need to spray that hole with bug killer then seal it.
That feeling of panic when you have a swarm of them. My neighbors alerted me to some wasps nests inside my window.

Now I'm going to be a paranoid freak and check all my windows every week with wasp-killer foam until the temperatures drop below freezing.
 
Mentally and spiritually, great! My body could be doing better. My stomach is messed up. My hip, hamstring, knee, and ankle are jacked up on one side. I'm thinking maybe I'm just a little too heavy for my current exercise routine, so I'm cutting back to a diet of chicken, vegetables, and rice after seeing another forum member recommend it in this thread. I think my system just needs a break. I'm cutting out coffee and weed, too. Doing this usually does the trick for
GI and muscle injuries.
 
Feeling nervous today. I've got an interview for a lead custodian job in my school district. I've been trying so hard the last few months to get off of night shift and have gotten so close only to be shot down. It would be a massive increase in salary for me (extra $12k per year), but I'm not chasing the bag here. I really want to be in that leadership role, you know? I want to give back to my community and I know I'd be effective in that role. I just have to get the district to give me the opportunity to prove it. As if working here for almost 8 years isn't proof enough.

Wish me luck, kiwis. I'm confident in my interview ability, but I can't shake the nerves.
 
Work continues to suck. The A/C hasn't been kicking on in the AM until 7, and it's caused multiple complaints from customers and staff. I've had several people straight up leave during shift because they're suffering from the heat and throwing up. And tomorrow, as well as Saturday, I have to solo close, and I doubt I'll have full staff.

Feeling nervous today. I've got an interview for a lead custodian job in my school district. I've been trying so hard the last few months to get off of night shift and have gotten so close only to be shot down. It would be a massive increase in salary for me (extra $12k per year), but I'm not chasing the bag here. I really want to be in that leadership role, you know? I want to give back to my community and I know I'd be effective in that role. I just have to get the district to give me the opportunity to prove it. As if working here for almost 8 years isn't proof enough.

Wish me luck, kiwis. I'm confident in my interview ability, but I can't shake the nerves.
Best of luck to you broski.
 
I'm a bit worried I've lost the ability to work a normal job.
I'm on the same boat. This is why I give daily thanks to Christ for having landed on a job where I work from home and from my computer. Yet still I feel weak - and wish I had the strength and energy (resolve too) to do something else. But believe in something, and ask the help from above so you may get something for yourself. It certainly won't come when you want, but it shall come.
Mentally and spiritually, great! My body could be doing better. My stomach is messed up. My hip, hamstring, knee, and ankle are jacked up on one side. I'm thinking maybe I'm just a little too heavy for my current exercise routine, so I'm cutting back to a diet of chicken, vegetables, and rice after seeing another forum member recommend it in this thread. I think my system just needs a break. I'm cutting out coffee and weed, too. Doing this usually does the trick for
GI and muscle injuries.
I'm glad to read you are doing well. Truly.
The neighbors next door are fighting again, they aren't bad people but they got issues.

Not that its my problem but the yelling is a downer, brings back bad memories...
I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an abusive father. Those yelling neighbors would bring back bad memories for me too.
I know what you both feel.
"Tyrant father" (grandfather) that felt in the right to yell, do everything he pleased but didn't want anyone mimicking him. Terrible behaviour, I hate this sort of shit.
 
"Tyrant father" (grandfather) that felt in the right to yell, do everything he pleased
Hard feels. Only person at whose funeral i didn't shed a single tear at and, sad as it is to say, i have been to way too many funerals for a guy of my age. I made it a point of going in the funeral home's showing room where his corpse was laying up until an hour before he got buried. Fucking hated seeing my uncles and aunts, as well as my mother, crying over him, at least my mother confessed to me she wasn't crying over him being dead. Typing this i realize how much vitriol i still have for this man. The most personal thing i ever shared on here, i am sorry.
 
Bought Kimmo Rentola's book about Finland's relationship with the USSR last night. Some of my maternal family came from Finland, and I'm disappointed in myself that I never asked my maternal grandmother about Marshal Gustavus Mannerheim, like what her parents might have thought of him (she was born in America) before she died when I was about 19. However, from what I have read about him as of now, my opinion of him has been favorable so far. Maybe reading this book will be like my earlier studying of the Second Polish Republic and its strongman leader, Marshal Jozef Pilsudski, who a paternal great grandmother from Poland and I both shared as a favorite. Incidentally, I also purchased a new pair of shoes today, they look good for both formality and utilitarian stuff like taking walks; speaking of which, I'm hoping to go for a walk soon to break them in.
 
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I feel uncontent right I got laid of my job after covid, my old Boss low balled me by setting my full time job into a contract. The Boss said he will contact me for a big order. He left me in the dark since early august. I tried applying 14 other jobs and even asked my neighbors if they needed their grass cut. Nothing. I only had two interviews both got rejected after a few days. I didn't studder and answered questions short but not long winded, so what's going on. Is it because nowadays its really really hard to find a job now? I don't want to sweat the small stuff or vent but I feel like I need to focus the now, and that today is a gift.
 
School budgets being fucked up by incompetence has led the school I was being sent to to back out last minute and now I’m floating in the wind waiting for another opening or I may have to bump out a newer hire to work at their school. Fucked up all around, education is easily the least well-managed sektur I’ve been in.

Holding in there so I can reach these keeeeds.
 
Fucked up all around, education is easily the least well-managed sektur I’ve been in.
It's notoriously bad, even though they ask for more funding they don't do anything with it. Remember when SMARTboards were the hip new thing? Yeah, like halfway through the semester the whiteboard saw more use.
Meanwhile there were no tissues or spare schoolbooks but my god you could have all the crappy recycled paper you could ever want.
 
I'm 26, still slogging through college as an electronic engineering student, a long way from that damn diploma. I intern in the electronics lab, but mostly I’m the janitor—cleaning up, setting up benches, making sure every team has their precious components. One day, my partner just stopped showing up. Not surprising, the pay’s a joke, and as long as someone’s there when class is in session to keep the vultures from raiding the electronics cabinet, no one cares.

My knee’s shot to hell, so I limp in late or call out when it’s too much, and my boss doesn’t mind. I’m not a snitch, but guess who rats me out? The ghost who vanished. Claims it’s me skipping work. I’m furious—losing this gig means I’m out of rent money and a degree.

So, I played the long game. Befriended the cleaning crew, got on a first-name basis, shared my fridge and microwave. Then I started asking questions—anyone seen the ghost? Collected my evidence, had witnesses lined up.

Today, the professor tries to corner me again. I casually mention how tough it’s getting to handle the lab alone. He suggests I get the ghost to help, and that’s my cue. I lay it all out, name names, drop the truth. He looks like he swallowed a bug, starts texting furiously.

Twenty minutes before the ghost is due, he shows up pale, sweating bullets. I act like nothing happened, finish my shift, and on the way out, ask the boss what went down. He says he didn’t mention my name but tore the ghost a new one.

This isn’t over. The ghost has it out for me, but I don’t care. You try to be decent, and people smell weakness. They’ll screw you if you let them.

It’s a sad truth, but it’s mine.
 
So much driving today, had to take the ring road and it was horrible. It's hilly and windy and almost everyone drives at least 10-20km above the speed limit and the people actually driving the speed limit become a safety hazard as everyone swerves and merges into faster moving traffic to avoid them and some of the slow crash magnets actually slow down for the construction zones where there is no construction just some pylons on the curb.
 
So much driving today, had to take the ring road and it was horrible. It's hilly and windy and almost everyone drives at least 10-20km above the speed limit and the people actually driving the speed limit become a safety hazard as everyone swerves and merges into faster moving traffic to avoid them and some of the slow crash magnets actually slow down for the construction zones where there is no construction just some pylons on the curb.
Driving is only pleasurable when you're the only car on a 5 mile radius.
 
Does anyone have examples of famous men with PTSD/trauma-induced illnesses who recover AND never beat their wives/ became alcoholics/cheaters? (And aren't fags?)
I am always really upset how these biographies always go

>Bad things happen
>I didn't consider the impact on my personality
>I was a horrible father and husband, laid my hands on them, and have 3 ex-wives and two DUIs
>I went to a Billy Graham seminar and was Saved And I'm Chill Now at 50

I just always think, well you just got too old to be so bad. Time passed and your emotions became easier to handle as you settled down. But I'm a young man and I get stronger every year, and I'm terrified of how these guys all seem to have spent their late 20s and 30s.
 
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