How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I think it goes hand in hand with learning how to act like a person with boundaries and not an android without any.

I agree 100%. And developing appropriate boundaries without feeling guilty or undeserving of them, or undermining them, is real freedom, I can promise you that.

And one tiny thing on this:

accept that my mental fortitude is not as sturdy as most people's. That however, can be difficult when you've grown up with the mantra that you have to do everything or you can do nothing.

You're right that coming up through life with that messaging or interpretation of messaging (either or both) can warp one's way of being in the world. But you are not doomed to be stuck there - I can't promise you won't be, but I can promise it's not an unchangeable thing. I recommend practicing removing thinking in conclusory terms of "that's who/how I am," because that's messaging to yourself that you're uniquely and innately screwed.

It may be how you've always seen things or how you've been in the world, but it is possible that it doesn't have to be now or in the future. Takes time and effort, and backsliding will happen at times even when making progress. But if you work consistently at it, in two years you might look back to today and scarcely recognize your old self, because you'll be so much stronger and certain of yourself, in an honest and earned way, and you'll have realized that you don't have to annihilate yourself or rip yourself apart for every stumble, past or present. And you'll almost definitely stumble less often. :-)

 

[Smack Patrick]

Doing alright. Got burnt out on gamedev and drawing so I've just been playing a romhack of Pokémon Emerald called 'Emerald Seaglass'. It's actually surprisingly decent, never a fan of hacks that change the typing of Pokémon, but there's so much QoL features added to this one that I can overlook it.

Burnout happens in the same the way every damn time when it comes to coding.
>start working on new system
>it doesn't work
>spend time figuring it out
>get it working
>"Alright based, now time to start the next thing... Actually, I can't be fucked, lets take a break."
>days pass
I wonder if becoming an adderall junky will keep me motivated lol

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Earlier this month I got a two months advance notice that my position is being eliminated. It's a little stressful but I can't help but feel optimistic. This job was smothering me and I've been putting off finding a new one for too long. It's a hard job market out there but I've got a few years experience on my résumé now so hopefully things will work out.

 

[The Ghost of Rarity]

What started out as a super stressful day ended up going really well…then I got home and found out that one of the stray cats that hangs around my house 24/7 was hit by a car…I hate people so much. Words can’t properly describe how much so. Never gave him an official name but I should have…
Rest in peace sweet kitty cat, you deserved so much better than this

 

[LonesomeDud]

I ate a whole bunch of gook food and THC oil. I'm okay, but the Zofran has really turned things around. I hope no one expects anything smart out of me for the rest of the night.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

My neighborhood was in shock earlier today when one of our neighbor’s houses was caught on fire. Thankfully no one was harmed, but my mother saw literal black smoke arise at the front of the house when she was getting ready to leave to go on vacation. It was the first time the entirety of the block actually came out and see how this happened.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

And our life will grow peaceful, tender, sweet as a caress…. You've had no joy in your life; but wait, wait…. We shall rest

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Earlier this month I got a two months advance notice that my position is being eliminated. It's a little stressful but I can't help but feel optimistic. This job was smothering me and I've been putting off finding a new one for too long. It's a hard job market out there but I've got a few years experience on my résumé now so hopefully things will work out.

I remember being a few months from my unemployment drying up and being so thankful I got a lowly service job. I had to work 6 months to replenish my 2 year safety net. It happened, hallelujah. A year passes, "aight time to get a real job". Start applying. Now, a year later, I've not landed a single interview despite only improving my application material tenfold. Balls up, reduce my 5 years of university to "degree name, duration, location". Now that I'm employed it'll be a breeze. Not a freeloader anymore.

So far I've lost out on 4 individual jobs in my immediate surroundings. Most recently a woman who was given the job to avoid bullying in another office, 3 months literally wasted, as she gave up and moved back. I just got an automatic rejection for that job for a second time. I still see great opportunity in job listings and immediately spend an hour writing a cover letter, but I've also lost all fucking hope. People who get jobs are in another world from mine. They can land jobs they've no skills for and learn on the go. You know, normal humane shit. "We love your personality so we'll teach you what you need haha".

And what can you do about it? Ask anyone and they'll say "must be your application material", cause what else can they say? "yeah your career is full of holes. you're fucked tbh. be happy if you EVER find something better". Honestly? I'd like that. That way landing a next job will be fucking monumental. Yet all I hear is people jumping jobs every 2 years to increase their pay or be handed a job by daddy's bestie or what have you. I wanna be told the world is fucked and everyone got it rough. I've seen fresh electricians have no luck finding work and even IT bros be given no such 'lol it's free money bro' anymore as they did 3 years ago.

I don't even need money or a better job to pursue hobbies. I've got none and I have all the time and mental discipline now to pursue one. And I just don't.

 

[Nick Obre]

it's tough to find people without relying on the horror that is dating apps. It has been beyond irritating & I can't use them more than maybe 10 minutes a day before the incels start making sense.

About your rant, let me tell you it's not a white woman thing. Latin American bitches are the exact same.
I've had some luck to run into and connect with a few women with some content to their existence (whether the dates/relationships worked or not is another matter, but they are, behave, and present as real people at least), but the vast majority is as you describe. And white they ain't.

And before anyone says anything, I'm sure most men also present as empty copy-pasted templates.

 

[Super Malario]

After being unemployed for 2 months I was finally able to get a job, and funnily enough it was at the same place I did my internship, tbh i didn't think I would ever go back but it's reassuring having some familiarity with my new workplace.
Now that my employment situation is resolved I'm going to start saving money for future plans, I gotta stay focused for the wellbeing of my family and for my own sake.

 

[Lovely Kin]

A new dentist replaced my old one, grateful he wasn't a jeet as our doctors and pharmacists are slowly being replaced by jeets. Thick accent, but I really like him so far.

 

[Betonhaus]

It's depressing being near-broke. I regret using my tax return to pay off my student loan instead of buying a car and other key essentials, but realistically that was still the best choice.

It does look like things will get better, but it might take up to two years for things to dramatically improve

 

[DiceindaMirror]

My car brakes are pretty much shot and my oldest dog is being put to sleep in a couple of hours. He had a good 14 year run with me and I'll miss him.

 

[Haloperidol]

One week of enthusiasm to three weeks of fatigue is no way to live.

 

[-Jack-]

It's hard when you thought you made a friend which could potentially be more, sucks to suck I guess.

 

[Slav Power]

Not great not terrible, spotted fox roadkill and a very chill pigeon on a walk the other day.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

And what can you do about it? Ask anyone and they'll say "must be your application material", cause what else can they say? "yeah your career is full of holes. you're fucked tbh. be happy if you EVER find something better". Honestly? I'd like that. That way landing a next job will be fucking monumental. Yet all I hear is people jumping jobs every 2 years to increase their pay or be handed a job by daddy's bestie or what have you. I wanna be told the world is fucked and everyone got it rough.

They're all fucking liars. It's all about who you know and that's why client-facing roles are invaluable. If you want to rapidly change workplaces, make sure to keep professional acquaintances that can help you to monkey branch. They don't have to love you, they just need to have an image of you as a competent person that's easy to work with and always looking for an upgrade. Might be different in blue collar work though, I wouldn't know.

 

[WEEKEND]

Joined two dating apps for the fist time. Never used them before as every woman I've ever been with is someone I already knew so this is new to me. I can see why it fucks with peoples heads. No matches yet but the whole thing leans into a pretty shallow dating scene I think. I mean a lot of the accounts are just some pictures with little to no info. I'm aware there's tons of bots and Only Fans whores/escorts on these things. Also, I didn't know that you basically have to pay to used them. What a scam.

I also ran into my recent ex on one of the apps, which wouldn't be that strange if it wasn't for the fact that we broke up because she "didn't want a relationship right now" and "just needed to focus on her health". To be fair I already knew that her excuse was bullshit but it was an easy out I suppose. I sent her a screenshot, told her it's not a problem and tried to joke around with it but she just made up some bad story about being on a dating app for reasons that aren't dating. Like why even lie? I know what she does isn't any of my businesses but my problem is that she just can't be honest with me not even just as friends.

To be honest with you guys I think I'm going to give this all a break for a bit. I'm clearly not over my ex and I'm not enjoying these apps. They're really predatory with how they lock off basic features and make it almost impossible to even talk to someone without paying.

 

[Slav Power]

They're really predatory with how they lock off basic features and make it almost impossible to even talk to someone without paying.

If they actually did what they advertise to do, which is find partners that match you, then they wouldn't be making enough cash to stay afloat since the user retention would be too short. Obviously they're a scam and they're a part of the wider social media issues that undermines male-female relationships worldwide. Creating unrealistic expectations, messing with your mind etc. All for profit.

Glass Silicon Valley.

 

[RisingPhoenix]

So went to the doctors today and because my blood pressure is trending high (thanks genetics) , I have gestational diabetes and considered high risk - doctors said they want me to be induced at 37 weeks and I decided the best option was to go with it for my health.

So 5 weeks just immediately became 2 weeks aaaaaaaa

Just hitting kinda hard at the moment, it's our first and I hope we'll be OK at this parenting lark.