How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[bliblblblbbllb]

I haven't gone with my friend group on their last two vacations mostly because I was worried about my physical health. But it's been another year or so and I'm closer with most of them now. So I started talking about how I would like to go on the next trip. but I'm worried about x and y and z. I am totally independent- I just worry about people making fun of me, basically. They just said "If you've got all those problems I think you should just stay home." Twice in recent memory they just didn't invite me to something because of their perception that I couldn't enjoy it- they didn't even ask, even though it was painfully obvious that the whole group was going.

They are so hot and cold about it, I don't know what's my fault and what's all on them. I try not to get real political or assmad, but I do get pretty assmad that they seem to fall over themselves constantly to be accommodating to the autistic and mentally ill weirdos. A large part of their ideological beliefs is tolerance and being accommodating. But they have always been pretty shitty to me about my paralysis. I know it might kinda be my fault because I have not gone into great detail about the specifics of my disability and what happened. But 1) I don't think I should have to explain myself for them to be nice to me and 2) I feel strongly that they will make jokes and gossip about my past, telling people that I don't want to know, and offending me with offhand comments, if they know details.

I feel like I'm too stupid to resolve the situation. It's not a reddit moment IMO: this isn't a "throw all those people to the curb, fuck them all" thing for me. I want to become closer to them, and I know the limiting factor right now is that they are real weird about my disability. They don't know how to handle it (even though it really doesn't impact them at all) and they usually just pretend I don't exist if they think it'll get in the way of plans.

I have a really retarded plan. Two of them are hobby artists and I also consider myself an artist, but I haven't shown any of them any of my art because most of it is heavily personal. I've been making some extremely personal paintings, and I plan to just... show them it all at my house. I don't think they're capable of having serious sit-down conversations- they would instantly leave and gossip, and make jokes etc. But if they see serious works of art, I think they will actually take it to heart and see that it isn't a joke. Unless my art is shit and they laugh at it ig. But this is my best idea for how to get them to take me seriously. I'm doing this in a few days so I will tell you how it goes so we can all laugh.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

The higher-ups interviewed and hired 3 people today. The job listing was put up 5 days ago. The deadline isn't even close. This is the public sector, so if they of all people don't wait for a deadline to expire, who would? It's nuts how you have to apply for jobs within 48 hours to basically even stand a chance, and then it's pure luck and chance whether you get considered. It's more down to the recruiter having had lunch or not rather than what you actually write in your application.

I get energized whenever I improve my material. I removed my age and linkedin from my application cause neither matter to the points I apply for, and I look younger than I am so if anything it's a good thing. Likewise I removed 1 of my 5 small paragraphs in my "template" cover letter, so I feel like I'm getting closer to a good resume.. until I remember I landed 3 interviews with absolute dogshit material not a few years ago.

And once again, through all this, I'm just dreadfully bored. I am 100% okay with posing for some pics and putting up dating profiles and what not, but it's also just a waste of time. Even though i've had two really good matches keen on meeting that -I- ended up snuffing out. I'm bored enough; what's 15 mins of swiping a day? Other than souldraining.

I haven't gone with my friend group on their last two vacations mostly because I was worried about my physical health. But it's been another year or so and I'm closer with most of them now. So I started talking about how I would like to go on the next trip. but I'm worried about x and y and z. I am totally independent- I just worry about people making fun of me, basically. They just said "If you've got all those problems I think you should just stay home." Twice in recent memory they just didn't invite me to something because of their perception that I couldn't enjoy it- they didn't even ask, even though it was painfully obvious that the whole group was going.

I read your whole post and I'm still confused. The first part reads like a typical case of someone turning down offers enough times that they cease even entertaining it anymore, whereas someone who genuinely wanted to come along would do whatever it takes to say yes, which I know is scary but ultimately, it's very easy to tell if someone is actually entertaining the idea or not. The next paragraph jumps over anything concrete to pull politics into it, and you're thinking art will suffice to fix.. whatever? It's a meme that Americans involve politics in everything but certainly sounds like it here.

 

[Medic]

A black person went into my cooler and drank all my water, I wasn't just disappointed cause I felt like I was dying cutting grass. My boss lectured me about trying to keep up, I am trying do my best and as much as I can give till all my joints become numb. Every other job offer has been ignored or left on reply. My boss wants me to get better, he views me like a little brother and that I am not worthless but when I am lacking behind I mess up his flow since I am burning up in the sun. He is stress himself going through Marial problems. He likes me because I am more vocal and not on my phone when we are on properties. Me and him don't care about the company we work for right now. I want a job were I am comfortable with and I want him to be happy. He wanted hurt himself when I was ridding a lawn mower with him and I scraped my knee. I sure he is in turbulence in life, I hope he gets better. Imma continue searching a different job, but work with him for side hustle.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Things are... again, mixed. Firstly, the negatives; another relative of mine has had some issues, that being a heart attack. He's in the hospital, and expected to make a full recovery. On a more minor note, I've been having some vehicle trouble, and nearly got wrote up at work for being late after my car broke down.

On the more positive side of things; I've made both some very solid progress in my writing; still can't do too much right now, though that's more due to outside factors than anything else. Job's coming along fairly well, as despite having to clean up shit and other bodily fluids from oversized children I'm still making both good money and the job itself is a bit more low-key than my previous ones. Getting a few projects done, bit by bit, and while there's a lot left for me to do, I'm making progress.

 

[GeekUSA]

Another semester done, another summer to get money and hopefully start a project worth completing.

 

[PaleTay]

I don't want to have to make complicated plans, make sure people answer texts, and have to drive almost an hour every single time I want to see someone I actually like. I want to hangout incidentally most of the time so that I don't have to feel bad for not skipping work for plans.

 

[JustStopDude]

I got to fly out to Utah to the place I got a job with. I need to find a place within two weeks, in a city I have spent a grand total of maybe 3 hours in.

I've been packing shit has I have to pretty much immediately move from Western Maryland, all the way out to Salt Lake City as soon as I get back.

So I'm going from a 3 bedroom home, to probably a tiny loft. I was supposed to get a lot of packing done yesterday. Instead, I got drunk on a bunch of beer, too pissed off about getting fired and my life rearranged.

The drive out to Utah is going to suck. I think it's over 30 hours. I got a pet that I can't get rid of. She is too old to adopt out, but I can't just put her down.

I wish I could just turn off my brain and work on shit. Pretty much I'm just pulling up shit that needs to get junked.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind being crushed by something huge and heavy, even if it would be slow and painful as it is with a hydraulic press. I'm too pusillanimous to kill myself hence I keep living waiting for a miracle to happen.

 

[Mike Patton Official]

Not doing great Kiwis. I've had 2 fish die in the past weeks and I don't know what's wrong. My lake needs more pumps and needs a proper cleaning, maybe the nitrates are too high. It's an outdoor lake so it's tricky. I'm gonna get some strips to check the water quality but if that's not the issue then I don't know what I can do to help my other dozen fish. I don't want them to suffer/die.

Other than that I need to start applying to internships and I don't know which ones to choose, and how to e-mail them. I'm getting a bad case of impostor syndrome, feel too dumb, and have no acquaintances at uni to do networking.

Trying to focus on schoolwork to drown my worries about my fish (hah I made a little joke).

 

[Nick Obre]

Still hyped about yesterday's date, we decided to have another date today. It went fantastic once more. We're gonna meet again tomorrow, and possibly every day during this week.

Again, we gotta make the most of the one week we're both simultaneously kid free.

God dammit, god fucking dammit.

You may remember I had a brief quasi-relationship with a wöman, which ended because of a family crisis on her side that needed her full attention. A bummer but no big feelings involved.
Then I started seeing another wöman, the one in the quote, and things went great. In fact, that whole week was great, we saw each other almost every day, and the week after (in which I had the kid with me so I wasn't fully free) we stole a few moments together where we could. It was fantastic in every way.

But now it's obre.

On Friday she went cold and stopped talking to me.
On Saturday she responded very clinically and asked me to give her some space because she was dealing with something personal that had nothing to do with me. Same for Sunday.
On Monday she said she wanted to talk, but in the end she couldn't.
And today, she told me what's going on. Not to go into details, but on Friday she received some very concerning news about her health, and she's now undergoing tests and investigations to see if it's a false alarm, something manageable, or something bad. It'll take a month to get the results.
I told her I would stick with her if she would have me, but she said it was unfair to me, to come into my life and so early burden me with something like this, so she preferred we called it off now. And so that's that.

I actually had some feelings for this one, lads. Happened faster than with the other one but it was also a closer, more complicit relationship, as short as it was.

We still agreed she'll tell me once she gets her results -I'm genuinely worried about her and I need to know-, and we did consider the possibility of starting over if it turns out to be nothing, or nothing too bad.

Either way, I think I'm gonna take a break from dating for a little while. Work on a couple things about myself that, during these two attempted relationships, I realized need some improvement.

 

[Dude Snakes]

I want to die.

 

[Rebecca_of_Kiwi_Farm]

I saw four red cars in a row. It will be a good day.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

>sperg and powerlevel for 7 years, nothing
>4 posts on the femoid subforum, triangle
Honestly a point of pride if all it took was a scorned w*man

 

[AnOminous]

>sperg and powerlevel for 7 years, nothing
>4 posts on the femoid subforum, triangle
Honestly a point of pride if all it took was a scorned w*man

You are retarded if you don't understand that you have to act slightly normal on the femoid forum, nool really still wants to get laid. He might get laid from there if you spastics don't quit moiding out on there.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind being crushed by something huge and heavy, even if it would be slow and painful as it is with a hydraulic press. I'm too pusillanimous to kill myself hence I keep living waiting for a miracle to happen.

Whoa, dude, this is suicide ideation and this is not ok. Do you have someone IRL you can talk to? I mean, you can talk to me, but I am just a rando from a website created to cyberstalk a cum drinking autistic motherfucker. On the topic of miracle - no, it doesn't work that way. Maybe someday we will get a drug that just makes depression go away, but I don't think it's gonna be soon. Ugly truth is that depression and hopelessness are a sand trap you need to walk out from by yourself. If someone drags you out, you'll just stand here and get sucked again.

>sperg and powerlevel for 7 years, nothing
>4 posts on the femoid subforum, triangle
Honestly a point of pride if all it took was a scorned w*man

What did you expect? "The first rule of business - protect your assets"

You are retarded if you don't understand that you have to act slightly normal on the femoid forum, nool really still wants to get laid. He might get laid from there if you spastics don't quit moiding out on there.

At this point Chris has better chances of getting laid than him. I mean, after Barb even.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

God damnit, I finally have an interview and for cybersecurity no less. Don't know when it'll be, likely this week. I lied a bit saying that I was enrolled in college (will be June 1st, but I transferred in 76/122 credits so im basically close to done) so hopefully they don't grab me by the throat on that.

I know jack shit about cybersecurity, I wanted to be a sysadmin but they're paying $80k. It'll be a one hour technical interview (jesus christ) so I guess I got alot of work ahead of me in order to get this.

I'll probably get it, I'm pretty decent at bullshitting.

 

[Ratboy Genius]

I saw four red cars in a row. It will be a good day.

Hell yeah. I gotta romanticize my life more... You know, in therapy they taught me about "glimmers", which are anything in your day that was good, no matter how small. Like... Frick yeah I got an achievement in my game! Hell yes I saw a cute bee on a flower! Dude I went to bed 30 minutes earlier than yesterday! That cornbread I had for supper was amazing! It's just being very intentional about seeing the good (the "glimmers") in each day. Like four red cars in a row! That's frickin awesome!!
Oops it sounds like I'm lecturing you haha. I just really like your post!!

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

>sperg and powerlevel for 7 years, nothing
>4 posts on the femoid subforum, triangle
Honestly a point of pride if all it took was a scorned w*man

To be fair, you were kinda crashing out yesterday and sperging worse than usual. It was a matter of time.

 

[Señora Airi]

Work sucks, continue to get thrown extraneous tasks cause no one else does them, and do minor fixes cause I'm the only one who can proficiently use Microsoft excel and word.

Another downer is that I think one of my longtime discord friends trooned out. This would be the 2nd one. God help me.

 

[Dean Pentel]

At this point Chris has better chances of getting laid than him. I mean, after Barb even.

If he'd do what he said he would (something everyone on the planet find attractive) he'd have zero issues getting together with enormously obese attractive women: get lean and fit, become socially skilled, become much more dangerous.

Thread tax: I've come to despise floor nursing. The healthcare industry in America is fucked. I'm going back to the O.R which has its dumb fucking issues but is nowhere near as insufferable as the floor. Likely I'll say fuck nursing altogether and become an anesthesia assistant. If anyone is considering nursing be aware that a lot of what you're told about how valued nurses are is a straight-up fucking lie. It doesn't mean it's not a good career or you won't like it, but all hospitals care about is profits and everyone except certain admin people (who are retarded faggots and deserve to die in car fires) are seen as entirely expendable. Always always always put yourself first, remember to treat your relationship with the hospitals/clinics as a business relationship, and never forget this is a job. You're not here to martyr yourself.

Thank you for listening to me bitch.