How does Chris feel about not being a virgin any more?

[ChurchOfGodBear]

This could be considered doxxing an innocent third party, and while it's not a troll plan by itself... it's really not the best idea. Just sayin'. I'm going to respond as if this were hypothetical.

Despite the fact that Chris is VERY observant of a person's facial characteristics, and has a mind like a steel trap when it comes to spotting deception... is it possible that the "part Cherokee" thing was either a lie told by the hooker, or by the friend who organized the encounter?

 

[Judge Holden]

It was partially this. If I remember correctly, Chris got kinda scared himself. They were three aggressive, black prostitutes and Barb started arguing with them when they started demanding their money. Chris ran off to hide in his room, I think.

But then later, yeah, he wanted to find hookers himself after he calmed down.

That mental image is far funnier than it should be. I would have sold my middle testicle to see Barb vs angry prostitutes

 

[CatParty]

it kinda makes him sound more racist that he's okay to use a black girl for sex, but not want to date one.

 

[Judge Holden]

it kinda makes him sound more racist that he's okay to use a black girl for sex, but not want to date one.

What could POSSIBLY be racist about not wanting his bear-promised daughter christal to not have any dirty black blood in her?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I can't really help but feel kinda bad for Chris. It really seems like he believed that having sex was going to solve all of his problems, in the end though, nothing has really changed for him.

I don't know if he really did. Like, if he thought that, he would've gotten a hooker long ago. Obviously his view of what's wrong with his life included his lack of a girlfriend, not just sex.

I think it was that being a virgin was a negative status and he didn't want his life to end with that being the case. Much like his hatred of men, the origin of him hating his virginity doesn't really matter anymore - he spent so long telling himself it was a terrible thing, so that became all that mattered. His desire for companionship didn't even really relate to his dreaded virginity.

 

[Overcast]

it kinda makes him sound more racist that he's okay to use a black girl for sex, but not want to date one.

Now I'm getting flashbacks to that one drawing he made of himself finger banging his band mates.

Ugh...

 

[___]

it kinda makes him sound more racist that he's okay to use a black girl for sex, but not want to date one.

Now I'm getting flashbacks to that one drawing he made of himself finger banging his band mates.

Ugh...

Behind The Music

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Recall also that it wasn't Chris blatantly asking Clyde for the phone number of the outcall agency. It was Junior Jenkins, aka JenkinsJinkies, the fourteen-year-old boy who could easily hitchhike from Boston to Ruckersville without his disappearance being noticed, who was asking this. Because that same "teenager" would totally have the cash for it. (And people always give their second son the "Junior" title. And no first name. Oh, Chris.)

 

[The Dude]

Recall also that it wasn't Chris blatantly asking Clyde for the phone number of the outcall agency. It was Junior Jenkins, aka JenkinsJinkies, the fourteen-year-old boy who could easily hitchhike from Boston to Ruckersville without his disappearance being noticed, who was asking this. Because that same "teenager" would totally have the cash for it. (And people always give their second son the "Junior" title. And no first name. Oh, Chris.)

Chris is the result of drunken geriatric redneck humping. You expect him to know better?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I wonder if he discussed it with Barb. He mentioned making her a gift basket with Barb but still.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

You expect him to know better?

Oh, hell no. I mean, look at the premise behind Junior Jenkins in the first place: the middle child of three (the trope on TV is that the middle child is hideously neglected, e.g. Meg Griffin) is so completely overlooked that he could just hitchhike down the Atlantic seaboard without anyone noticing he was gone. Or without being harmed in any way. It's similar to the dumb plots he concocted for Sonichu, except he's trying to write for human characters instead of weird Pokemon furry things, so it becomes all the dumber because he knows more about Pokemon than about people.

 

[CatParty]

You expect him to know better?

Oh, hell no. I mean, look at the premise behind Junior Jenkins in the first place: the middle child of three (the trope on TV is that the middle child is hideously neglected, e.g. Meg Griffin) is so completely overlooked that he could just hitchhike down the Atlantic seaboard without anyone noticing he was gone. Or without being harmed in any way. It's similar to the dumb plots he concocted for Sonichu, except he's trying to write for human characters instead of weird Pokemon furry things, so it becomes all the dumber because he knows more about Pokemon than about people.

don't forget the perverse sexual back story (which chris had to remind people wasn't true for some reason)

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Yeah, I know I was astounded beyond belief when I learned he ripped that off from Family Guy. What a shocking thing for him to do!

 

[Hyperion]

don't forget the perverse sexual back story (which chris had to remind people wasn't true for some reason)

You mean the graphic depiction of Chris being sodomized, and a glimpse at his previously unknown puke fetish? That man has an odd idea of a sex fantasy.

 

[The Dude]

Yeah, I know I was astounded beyond belief when I learned he ripped that off from Family Guy. What a shocking thing for him to do!

Yeah, I mean, Chris is so creative and original. He could have easily come up with some kind of twisted sexual back story on his own and not had to stoop to ripping off other peoples' work.

 

[GuyMontag21]

I remember losing mine when I was 17...I was a lot like Chris back then, but I was in my late teens.

I thought I'd immediately have more confidence around women, and they'd "notice" that I wasn't a virgin. I didn't know why having sex once would do that, I was just immature and viewed it as a "milestone" that wasn't really a milestone. I found out the hard way that it doesn't matter how many notches you have on the belt. If women don't see value in you, they won't want to sleep with you (let alone be your sweetheart). If you're not socially adept and have a bad body, you'll have to work on yourself before you work on landing a woman.

if that ever dawns on Chris, though, it won't be until he's in his 40s. at least.

 

[Amsterdam]

heh, I always found it hilarious that Chris thought having sex would change something in his life. he spent so long pining after sex then he winds up losing his virginity in the worst way, and it didn't change anything in his life.

 

[Anon]

I remember losing mine when I was 17...I was a lot like Chris back then, but I was in my late teens.

I thought I'd immediately have more confidence around women, and they'd "notice" that I wasn't a virgin. I didn't know why having sex once would do that, I was just immature and viewed it as a "milestone" that wasn't really a milestone. I found out the hard way that it doesn't matter how many notches you have on the belt. If women don't see value in you, they won't want to sleep with you (let alone be your sweetheart). If you're not socially adept and have a bad body, you'll have to work on yourself before you work on landing a woman.

if that ever dawns on Chris, though, it won't be until he's in his 40s. at least.

If Chris was richer he could get all the gold digger china no matter how unattractive he was.

 

[Null]

If Chris was richer he could get all the gold digger china no matter how unattractive he was.

 

[derpi]

don't forget the perverse sexual back story (which chris had to remind people wasn't true for some reason)

You mean the graphic depiction of Chris being sodomized, and a glimpse at his previously unknown puke fetish? That man has an odd idea of a sex fantasy.

WAT
I kind of want to see this ._...
Brb checking the wiki