How is the kiwi above you in bed?

[PipTheAlchemist]

Snored like a goddamn freight train. Awesome at sleeping. Less than awesome at maintaining an erection

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Kept smashing boxes and going in a collect-athon

 

[gabardineDelinquent]

Kept talking about Rubber Johnny which somehow turned me on even more.
We ended up rolling around on the floor for a good two hours like a deathfat in a pool of bacon grease. The passion was unforgettable. Will, in fact, consider fucking again.

edit) let's hope to God his wife stops calling the police.

 

[Stanley the Gay Wizard]

I couldn't let him ride me or I would have been broke in half.

 

[glass_houses]

Rather wooden, all things considered.

 

[Dancing Israeli]

We listened to metallica while he bottoms. doesn't know what he's doing.

 

[Stanley the Gay Wizard]

He's decent, sadly he didn't like the perfect sound of Type O Negative and freaked out when I offered him a cigarette.

 

[gabardineDelinquent]

For a manlet with cigarette arms, he sure knows how to use a riding crop. Goddamn...

 

[glass_houses]

Whined like a little bitch when he wasn't allowed to get on top, and took a certain amount of effort to lift the overhang in order to access the joy department.

Once there, however, completely worth it. Would recommend.

 

[Stanley the Gay Wizard]

Eh.

 

[We Are The Witches]

I don't know, we didn't even have our first date yet...

You left me waiting there for hours under the rain and never showed up.

 

[gabardineDelinquent]

Now I see why your father left.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

You fell asleep halfway through

 

[Biggusstickus]

She was cold and the leaves wouldn't stop blowing inside.

 

[CashMoney!]

Not bad but zero finesse.

 

[Stanley the Gay Wizard]

I tried to say hi and accidently got too close, accidently stabbed me with the helmet, I had to co to the hospital. so idk.

 

[shatterspinel]

Mediocre. Til he started crying, then it was a little better

 

[gabardineDelinquent]

Once I found out he was my long lost cousin who fled to Argentina, he sodomized me with a crowbar.

Safe to say I haven't had a good cum in years until now...

 

[Osmosis Jones]

Let's just say I didn't know you could turn it all the way inside-out until we fucked.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

For some reason had a large collection of Polaroids of Bill Murray nude, they were not fake and I had to handle them with tongs