How to deal with being "unpersoned"

[Freshly Baked Socks]

Doesn't sound like they were your real frens anyhow if you need to kowtow to some political regime to be a part of their shitty little cult.

Good luck finding a different society to live in.

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

Listen i get that you're gay and all but did you have to write this complain in the absolute faggiest way possible

 

[Agarathium1066]

Fun story: gays against groomers actually did try to recruit me but in all honesty, internally they do seem kind of lolcows themselves. But that's another topic.

I feel any group that focuses too intensely on a topic can lean naturally into cow-ish behavior. At least personally I'd worry more about if they bother you than anything else. Just keep it cool and don't overshare, you'll have nothing to worry about.

 

[1440p Curved Monitor]

That sounds ideal but - I don't really think people get how they treat me. I am not a person now. I'm a ghost. Can I even make friends these days?

I just feel... well, "blah". It's shit. Really shit, not the type of shit where you here "oh this is shit", but absolute steaming dump. They were my support network and now I'm nothing. Blah, whores everyone.

In this group, did you go by your real name (like Facebook) or an alias (like discord/Twitter)? If the former, it'll be harder because it's your real name. If the latter, it is so easy because people correlation the actions to the alias and not *you*. It only gets correlated to you if you connected your alias to your name. However it's still salvageable.
Seriously, it feels like shit now but it always gets better. Keep in contact with those people who stuck with you.
This is basically a PR issue and when you treat it as such, it works out well. Lay low for a bit and then look for another or adjacent group in your area. You can opt to hang out with people you know from the group. Act normal and like nothing changed. I allegedly said some explicitly transphobic shit and got banned from a group 2-3 years ago but still talk to people in those group and either no one knows or they just don't care. The climate was worse back then too. It takes a while but it'll get better.
Also if these are gay gays and not lesbian gays I think you have more of a chance. It's just my gut feeling based on how the trans fandom treats women who speaks wrongthink.
One good tip that I used is to have a beard. Find a troon that you can stand and get close to them. Is it manipulative? Yes. But it quells doubts. Don't do this immediately - wait a few months when you make a comeback.
If you can, make a burner account and enter the group again. Dont engage. The burner account is just to keep watch of your reputation- so you know what's coming and if your tactics are effective.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

Gay guys aren't big fans of trannies anyways so idk where you're looking.

 

[WitchfyndeGeneral]

To simply put things simply, don’t use the social media(Big Tech or Alt-Tech) for real friendship and to simply put it, it’s much better making irl friends than online.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Welcome. You are now here forever.

 

[Moja Zemlja]

You suck it up and move on, go hang out with other friends who are more tolerant of you sperging out and if you don't have any other friends then stop being such a sperg.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

having irl friends is nice, but having phonies who just want you to be a live body agreeing with them wasn't having irl friends

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Idk man this whole story sounds pretty gay

 

[m1ddl3m4rch]

I shared my very abrasive views on puberty blockers in my local faggot group and well... it didn't go over well publically (weirdly enough I got some support in private messages). It went back and forth and I thought it was over. Until I was banned. Now, I know you Kiwifarmers are like "go and find another amhole", but having a support network with other gay men is pivotal for most of us. Worst of all, even those who supported me in the arguments (again in private) are treating me like I don't exist. I feel genuinely terrible and like the runt of the internet right now. But at the same time I know I'm right and I just can't lie.

The Farms has a support thread for what you're going through.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/losing-people-to-transgenderism-support-thread.85329/

 

[Linako 2.0]

You move on.

 

[cybertoaster]

I shared my very abrasive views on puberty blockers in my local faggot group

Truly dumb move, while the LGTV movement was started by gay men you're now at the bottom of it.

Worst of all, even those who supported me in the arguments (again in private) are treating me like I don't exist

Imagine if we really went back to the ol' days when sodomy was illegal, how long you think it would take your fellow gay guys to rat you out? since they already break under this little pressure.

 

[Otis Mallebrok]

Well, that really sucks. Dissapointing to say the least. I really don't understand, how gay man can be so approving of puberty blockers? Don't they understand, that many of the boys who are given blockers, will end up as Jazz Jennings-like asexual eunuchs, when they otherwise could have been normal gay men?

Ask your fellow gay men, how many of them would have wanted to not go through male puberty, and end up with the penis of a 6-year old. I bet it is not that many.

I don't know man. A part of me thinks it is better to have integrity than fake friends, but on the other hand, I still have my friends.

 

[Otterly]

I think the fact that I stood on my ground made it worse and made me (in their eyes) an "unperson".

Look, being disliked is one thing, but being treated like this is another. I feel like shit because apparently I've upset people, but logically I was just standing on my ground. It's very odd and I'm not sure I can explain it.

Well done. You stood your ground, for what you believe in and you’re morally correct. Now you’re in the worst bit, which is finding that an awful lot of people are weak spineless followers and the people they follow are malign. It’s a shock. I’ve been there, twice now for troons and covid. You get used to it.
So here you are. When you see that group or anyone in it again, you smile, be polite but distant and vaguely sad that they’re so unpleasant, but you do three things:
1. You do not JADE (justify, apologise, defend or explain) - that puts you in a defensive position and people see that as you’re in the wrong. You simply act like what you said was such blatant truth and you cannot get why anyone would oppose it. That puts them on the back foot.
2. You say, sadly, that given the number of private messages of support you had you’re amazed that you’ve been unpersoned. You do not name names. You simply imply that over half the group agreed with you. This sews discord in the group and makes people simultaneously doubt themselves and feel weak. ‘Well I must say I’m a little surprised and saddened given the PMs I got, I think… we’ll let me think about it… yes well over half seem to agree so I’m not sure why people responded like this but that’s life I suppose…’
3. You do not back down.

There are gatekeepers - they absolutely control the discussions and they think that trans is a-okay and my comments (which didn't come close to TTD) was offensive.

Yes they do gatekeep. Amusing to see gay men’s groups operate like women’s groups: one or two queen bees who set the tone and viciously attack any dissent. You’re a lone wolf now and operate outside the groupthink. It’s liberating.

I really don't understand, how gay man can be so approving of puberty blockers? Don't they understand, that many of the boys who are given blockers, will end up as Jazz Jennings-like asexual eunuchs, when they otherwise could have been normal gay men?

Let’s see. Body of a child, mind of a child, but over the age of consent? Think about it
Welcome to non-existence. Go hang out with some straight men who are honest, and if it all goes wrong well, you’ve stuck up for what you belive morally, lack of friends won’t kill you, and you face God with a clear conscience.

 

[Dark Horse]

Is joining your local LGB Alliance on option?
Also if you are British the Gay Men's Network is getting popular and if you join in on women's rights side of things there are lots of gay men that are part of it.

 

[Billy Bob Dick]

Yes they do gatekeep. Amusing to see gay men’s groups operate like women’s groups: one or two queen bees who set the tone and viciously attack any dissent. You’re a lone wolf now and operate outside the groupthink. It’s liberating.

“The best thing for being sad . . . is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then - to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.”
― T.H. White, The Sword in the Stone

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Go hang out with some straight men who are honest, and if it all goes wrong well, you’ve stuck up for what you belive morally, lack of friends won’t kill you, and you face God with a clear conscience.

You know, it's been a while and a half since I just hung out with straight men. They're hilarious. Maybe I can show amholes to them as a gross joke.

 

[The Feline Solution]

No offense, but why are there so many fucking faggots on here? It's honestly more surprising to me than the amount of women posting.

 

[Canned Ham]

The LGBT community has been hit hard by the Overton window. I'm surprised bi people are still personed because "bi implies there are only two sexes".

You need to make friends outside that community.