How to Get a Goth Gf - A practical guide from an expert.

[CornBogFitz]

Goth is dead, the 90s killed it and the 00s buried it. Hell, its successors are all basically dead too, Emo and Scene have left public consciousness for the most part. Any "goth" girls you run into nowadays are either 40+ year old harpies trying to relive their teen years, 25+ year old Emo girls who were too autistic to move on, or Thots using the aesthetic to appeal to Onlyfans simps.

Emo is the millennial disco. There for <10 years and then *poof* shame I miss the aesthetics. Bitches these days would rather kill themselves than have bangs. Like literally they will have 12 inch foreheads and be like “nah”

 

[CornBogFitz]

Thread bumped for spooktober. Now’s your chance guys who are insecure about dressing in goth. Now is the time for it. Go forth and conquer the goth gf you always wanted!

 

[Fermented Biden]

Depends, will my soul be sucked outta my urethra if this all works?

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

I got my Drakkor Noir on, my Cradle of Filth shirt looking fresh, and all my chains on my pants. Where's my goth gf??

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

Treat women like Marilyn Manson treats 'em. He seems to be oddly successful.

 

[Damocles_Sword]

Step 1: Befriend a crow.
Step 2: Place crow under box propped up with a stick.
Step 3: Wait.

 

[Robert Cummings]

I don't want one, but thanks for the guide I guess.

 

[Coach Blue Pill]

don't want tbh

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Find out the cologne her father used to wear.
Buy it
Spray it on yourself and talk to her
?????
Profit.

 

[Tablet County]

Build a large civilization with shitty walls, the goths will come flooding to your location then.

 

[Ctrl + Z]

Your goth gf will never love you as much as the late Peter Steele and you need to learn to be ok with that.

 

[CornBogFitz]

Another good tip for first dates. Take her to a barns n noble at a strip mall. People are anxious so they can relieve that tension through pacing around the store. When you notice their eye wandering to a book talk about the subject. “Oh you like ______?” Once you get to talking there’s a coffee shop right there to sit down in. If it goes well there’s usually a place to eat nearby. This has been my go to first date my whole life and it has always worked great.

Another good trick (if you really like the girl) is “sorry I know this is last minute but I can’t make it, today. Let me make it up to you let’s get lunch tomorrow” boom. You have both ensured you aren’t coming off as desperate and upgraded yourself to a meal date. Which are more personal.

 

[Meriasek]

Part 4: Get your Latina girlfriend to wear black clothes and a choker. May I suggest introducing her to Poe and other sadgirl poetry?

Hey, if this gothic king here can do it maybe I can too.

Making sure to watch this thread for... Reasons.

Goth latina gf, or: How to have your life ruined six ways in as many hours.

 

[Bonesjones]

Just do cocaine, have cocaine, offer them cocaine.

 

[Lidl Drip]

Another good trick (if you really like the girl) is “sorry I know this is last minute but I can’t make it, today. Let me make it up to you let’s get lunch tomorrow” boom. You have both ensured you aren’t coming off as desperate and upgraded yourself to a meal date. Which are more personal.

Ditching someone you really like last minute is a top tip! I bet she totally won't lose interest and just go out with someone else instead who didn't cancel on her.

 

[community member]

this is really interesting

 

[FierceBrosnan]

View attachment 6507923
this is really interesting

Fellow based Clown Goth™ enjoyer I see.

I'm surprised scary goth is so low.

 

[CornBogFitz]

Fellow based Clown Goth™ enjoyer I see.

I'm surprised scary goth is so low.

It may because more people want to be subby hubbies and want their dommy mommies

 

[FierceBrosnan]

It may because more people want to be subby hubbies and want their dommy mommies

I get it. Sometimes you need a ghostly pale bad bitch to step on your junk with platform boots.

 

[She Beetle]

The best thing you can do to attract goth girls is to not want a goth girl. See also; having an actual interest in goth and post-punk music/subcultures, not imagining yourself as Scott Pilgrim, and washing your ass.