I asked ChatGPT To Create A Lolcow - Introducing Gregory Wiffles

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I'm surprised nobody has posted this yet, but our boy Zane tweeted out a new "enlightened" quote today.
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Broadside said:
Zane once hosted a livestream to prove that he could survive eating “only pizza and soda for 30 days,” claiming it would “prove modern nutritionists are frauds.” By day 7, he vomited on-stream after attempting to blend an entire cheese pizza into a smoothie to “save time.”
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I still remember watching that live. It was just like that Simpsons bit of Homer trying to compress Spagetti into bar from and then promptly calling 911 right afterwards
 
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Travis Touchdown (REAL) said:
My nigga Zane really lives in this shit hole? Sad. And holy shit I think that's the lawnmower from the lawnmower incident.

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For the newfags who don't remember the lawnmower incident, apparently, Zane had recently decided he was “done with society’s lies” (again) and announced to his Twitter following (all 47 of them) that he was going to start a sustainable living experiment. This, according to Zane, meant transforming his mom’s suburban backyard into “an eco-paradise” to “prove humanity doesn’t need modern technology to thrive.” His vision included growing his own food, raising chickens (where he planned to get them was anyone’s guess), and building what he called a “zero-emissions automated transportation device.” Spoiler: it was a lawnmower.

Cue Zane’s YouTube livestream, where he unveiled his “invention” to the world. Picture this: a rusty old push lawnmower he found at a garage sale, which he’d duct-taped a broken office chair to in place of a seat. For the pièce de résistance, he bolted a car battery to the frame and attached two oscillating desk fans, which he claimed would “propel it forward using wind energy.” Yes, really. He even slapped a “ZaneCorp” logo on the side, printed on what looked like leftover printer paper.

The livestream started with Zane giving his usual unhinged monologue about how this device was going to “revolutionize transportation” and “destroy Big Oil.” He kept saying things like, “Tesla could never,” while gesturing at his Frankenstein’s monster of a lawnmower. After 20 minutes of ranting, he finally sat down in his makeshift seat and announced, “Behold the future!”

Now, remember: this thing was held together with duct tape, hope, and Zane’s delusions of grandeur. The moment he flipped the switch on the car battery, sparks flew, the fans started spinning, and the lawnmower lurched forward—straight into his mom’s prize-winning rose bushes. The oscillating fans flew off mid-spin, one of them barely missing Zane’s head, and the office chair collapsed under his weight. Zane screamed, “SABOTAGE!” as he tumbled into the bushes, taking out half the garden with him.

Within hours, clips of the disaster were circulating everywhere—Twitter, Kiwi Farms, you name it. Someone even made a gif of Zane flying into the rose bushes with the caption: “Eco-paradise destroyed by Big Rose.” The incident was so infamous that Zane had to post a Twitter thread insisting the “lawnmower prototype” was actually a success and that the crash was part of a “stress test.” Naturally, nobody bought it.

To this day, the rose bushes haven’t recovered, and rumor has it Zane’s mom still threatens to kick him out every time he brings up his next “invention.” The Lawnmower Incident is truly peak Zane—equal parts stupidity, arrogance, and unintentional comedy gold.

for posterity, this story is also ai generated. Tesla could never.
 
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Great, we started with AI generated deepfakes/porn, then AI generated music, and now we're AI generating lolcows. I want off Mr AI's Wild Ride.

Has he got the cockchop so he can become a new stinkditch feature at the very least? A tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist tranny would be a good step up from the run of the mill child grooming/molesting ones we have in abundance.
 
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