J.K. Rowling needs to stop messing with Harry Potter - A general STFU J.K. Rowling MegaThread <3

[Zaryiu]

Rowling is less credible than at least some of her fans fanon, that's how retarded she outed herself as

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I just remembered this waking up this morning, but I just kinda want to give a little shout-out to the game developers who made the Harry Potter games. I know they were pretty much shat out to advertise the movie (lol EA), but I remember them being fun to play, helped if you got at least two other players with you so you at least had someone to banter with. The last one I played was Goblet of Fire many years ago, but I remember the creature designs being pretty dope.

But one I want to bring more attention to is the Sorcerer's Stone for the Game Boy Color for giving it an RPG feel that I didn't appreciate as a kid.

Apparently you can beat it in under two hours (if you know what you're doing, but of course those are speedruns), but it was too fucking hard for me as a kid to the point I got lost looking for a goddamn library book. Closest I remember I got was I found Malfoy who last had it, but then he went "Lol go look for it, fucking wanker" and I never found it. What's stuck with me the most was the boss music scaring the shit out of me as a kid. Something about it was just super unnerving to me.

My house swallowed the cartridge years ago so I don't know if I can even find it anymore--let alone if it even still works. I kinda want to try my hand at it again and see if I can actually beat the bloody thing, but I just think the most interesting thing about it is that it implemented an RPG in its mechanics. Graphics were kinda shit, though, looking it up, but it looked better on the screen.

 

[Slap47]

Rowling is evidence that "The Author is dead" is the best way to read books.

 

[BScCollateral]

Rowling is evidence that "The Author is dead" is the best way to read books.

My issues with Arthur C Clarke and Kubrick are as nothing in comparison to what Rowling has done.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Okay my brother unintentionally reminded me that while we had the first game, we actually did play the Chambers of Secrets game as well which was in a similar style--I say unintentionally because he remembers Nearly-Headless Nick getting petrified, but that only happened in the second book. And I had thought it was weird I was having memories of both Ron and Hermione being on the same screen as Harry because Harry's by himself in the first game. But apparently we had borrowed the game from a friend for a while, which is probably why I have memories of the wizard's duel, the mandrakes, and walking down the hall to the Chamber of Secrets to fight the basilisk. Also explains the music, like I have memories of Hogwarts having different music on different floors, and looking it up, that was done in the second game, not the first.

Also explains why the games are so different because they took cues from the books and not the movies. Later games apparently would do that.

This is the review I watched that triggered my memory, and I now I really want to play the game again. Someone at EA actually gave a shit.

I also have memories of watching my friend play Chamber of Secrets on the PlayStation, which was more of a puzzle game than an RPG. Was pretty neat from what I remember.

 

[omori]

Okay my brother unintentionally reminded me that while we had the first game, we actually did play the Chambers of Secrets game as well which was in a similar style--I say unintentionally because he remembers Nearly-Headless Nick getting petrified, but that only happened in the second book. And I had thought it was weird I was having memories of both Ron and Hermione being on the same screen as Harry because Harry's by himself in the first game. But apparently we had borrowed the game from a friend for a while, which is probably why I have memories of the wizard's duel, the mandrakes, and walking down the hall to the Chamber of Secrets to fight the basilisk. Also explains the music, like I have memories of Hogwarts having different music on different floors, and looking it up, that was done in the second game, not the first.

Also explains why the games are so different because they took cues from the books and not the movies. Later games apparently would do that.

This is the review I watched that triggered my memory, and I now I really want to play the game again. Someone at EA actually gave a shit.

I also have memories of watching my friend play Chamber of Secrets on the PlayStation, which was more of a puzzle game than an RPG. Was pretty neat from what I remember.

Prisoner of Azkaban on gameboy was turnbased as well. By Goblet of Fire it was completely dropped.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Another shout-out I want to give is to the artist who drew the illustrations for the books--granted, I'm talking about the American editions, but Mary GrandPré plus the illustrator for Series of Unfortunate Events, Brett Helquist, were who inspired me to draw illustrations for books. Like while I prefer Helquist's style for its striking personality, the art for Harry Potter is charming in its own right, even if it looks like it may have inspired what has become the Tumblr art. My favorite book sleeve is a tie between Goblet of Fire and Chamber of Secrets.

To get back to making fun of Rowling, anyone have their favorite lulzy pieces of dialogue? Mine is when Harry had himself a nightmare about... something, whatever it was, and Rowling wasted two whole lines to write out Harry screaming "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Even as a kid I thought that was too excessive.

 

[Silence of the Troons]

Another shout-out I want to give is to the artist who drew the illustrations for the books--granted, I'm talking about the American editions, but Mary GrandPré plus the illustrator for Series of Unfortunate Events, Brett Helquist, were who inspired me to draw illustrations for books. Like while I prefer Helquist's style for its striking personality, the art for Harry Potter is charming in its own right, even if it looks like it may have inspired what has become the Tumblr art. My favorite book sleeve is a tie between Goblet of Fire and Chamber of Secrets.
View attachment 652079
View attachment 652073

It might partially be due to nostalgia, but I have always thought the Swedish editions had the best covers:

To get back to making fun of Rowling, anyone have their favorite lulzy pieces of dialogue? Mine is when Harry had himself a nightmare about... something, whatever it was, and Rowling wasted two whole lines to write out Harry screaming "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Even as a kid I thought that was too excessive.

Any "romantic" dialogue involving Harry and Ginny. I don't hate Ginny or care particularly about them ending up together, but I always found those pieces of dialogue hilarious for some reason

 

[Kari Kamiya]

It might partially be due to nostalgia, but I have always thought the Swedish editions had the best covers:
View attachment 652096

Oooooh those are really kick-ass. I like the fifth book's cover, looks like one of those "big boy Conan the Barbarian rejects" fantasy book covers.

Any "romantic" dialogue involving Harry and Ginny. I don't hate Ginny or care particularly about them ending up together, but I always found those pieces of dialogue hilarious for some reason

Gee, it's like Rowling doesn't know how a teenage couple converse with each other due to not having had a high school sweetheart. Let alone hung around with her peers to see how they interacted.

Really, I find it weird that Harry ended up dating and marrying his fangirl. Like it happens, I get it, but Harry and Ginny's relationship is extremely odd to the point I've seen cliché high school romance anime with more believable couples. I seriously don't blame people who were on the Harry/Hermione train since their relationship was more natural, but Harry Potter shippers are an entirely different can of worms I don't want to bring over from the militant shippers thread.

 

[Muttnik]

This is going to sound really stupid but the obvious and better written choice was to have Harry end up with Luna Lovegood. Both of them actually had something in common since they've experienced the deaths of beloved family members. I just think that Ginny was written in because Rowling wanted to cement the tie between Harry and Ron as brothers in more than friendship. Which is bullshit because Ginny is as boring as all hell.

 

[Marco Fucko]

This is going to sound really stupid but the obvious and better written choice was to have Harry end up with Luna Lovegood. Both of them actually had something in common since they've experienced the deaths of beloved family members. I just think that Ginny was written in because Rowling wanted to cement the tie between Harry and Ron as brothers in more than friendship. Which is bullshit because Ginny is as boring as all hell.

The true best option would be for Harry to be a conquering chad who stole Cho Chang from that pretty boy cuck Cedric Diggory and fucked her on his grave.

After that, he could form a slave harem consisting of Hermione, Ginny, Fleur, the Patel Sisters, Lavender Brown, Luna and Bellatrix.

 

[XYZpdq]

I just remembered this waking up this morning, but I just kinda want to give a little shout-out to the game developers who made the Harry Potter games. I know they were pretty much shat out to advertise the movie (lol EA), but I remember them being fun to play, helped if you got at least two other players with you so you at least had someone to banter with. The last one I played was Goblet of Fire many years ago, but I remember the creature designs being pretty dope.

But one I want to bring more attention to is the Sorcerer's Stone for the Game Boy Color for giving it an RPG feel that I didn't appreciate as a kid.

Apparently you can beat it in under two hours (if you know what you're doing, but of course those are speedruns), but it was too fucking hard for me as a kid to the point I got lost looking for a goddamn library book. Closest I remember I got was I found Malfoy who last had it, but then he went "Lol go look for it, fucking wanker" and I never found it. What's stuck with me the most was the boss music scaring the shit out of me as a kid. Something about it was just super unnerving to me.

My house swallowed the cartridge years ago so I don't know if I can even find it anymore--let alone if it even still works. I kinda want to try my hand at it again and see if I can actually beat the bloody thing, but I just think the most interesting thing about it is that it implemented an RPG in its mechanics. Graphics were kinda shit, though, looking it up, but it looked better on the screen.

I gotta throw that on my phone. I remember dicking around with the rom back when it was new and thinking it seemed kinda not shit.

 

[Terrorist]

You know, the more I think about it, Harry Potter actually is a pretty good metaphor for our current political reality (out-of-touch centrist billionaire makes lazy, pandering attempts to be woke, while keeping the status quo basically the same as it always was).

 

[GethN7]

This is going to sound really stupid but the obvious and better written choice was to have Harry end up with Luna Lovegood. Both of them actually had something in common since they've experienced the deaths of beloved family members. I just think that Ginny was written in because Rowling wanted to cement the tie between Harry and Ron as brothers in more than friendship. Which is bullshit because Ginny is as boring as all hell.

The girl was practically a cipher as far as character went. I can't remember any distinguishing character traits she ever had that ever set her apart from anyone.

Hermione was the smart chick who tended to be the wet blanket at times, Luna was the quirky conspiracy nut, and Ginny.......I dunno.

 

[Muttnik]

Ginny was astoundingly boring. It was pretty sad, actually, to have a love interest character have utterly no distinguishable qualities whatsoever. Harry honestly could have ended up with anyone else and it would have more chemistry.

TBH though, Harry himself isn't really all that interesting beyond the characters and places he encounters. He's actually pretty goddamn bland for a main character. He's not an idealist like Luke Skywalker, not gentle and tenderhearted like Frodo, not a natural leader like Hazel-Rah, and not cloyingly unpleasant like the lead bimbo from the Twilight series. He's just...blank.

 

[Furina]

Ginny was astoundingly boring. It was pretty sad, actually, to have a love interest character have utterly no distinguishable qualities whatsoever. Harry honestly could have ended up with anyone else and it would have more chemistry.

TBH though, Harry himself isn't really all that interesting beyond the characters and places he encounters. He's actually pretty goddamn bland for a main character. He's not an idealist like Luke Skywalker, not gentle and tenderhearted like Frodo, not a natural leader like Hazel-Rah, and not cloyingly unpleasant like the lead bimbo from the Twilight series. He's just...blank.

Harry's not really meant to be an interesting character though. I always thought of him as an audience surrogate. He's the outsider who gets thrown into the world of magic and sees the new world how we are meant to see it. Hermione is the walking encyclopaedia to explain obscure lore to the audience. Ron is the insider who helps us understand what's strange and what's normal in this new world. The Harry Potter characters are tools. Functionaries so the plot can happen. There's nothing wrong with that for a fun adventure book for kids. But remember, it's for kids, not adults who wish they were kids.

 

[AnimuGinger]

Harry was an accidental horcrux. I’m sure you know that simply an act of killing splits the soul of a fragment and the piece that was floating in the nether or whatever attatched itself to “the closest living soul in the area”. Which now that I think about it is a meh explanation, except that a majority of Voldemort’s horcruxes are inanimate enchanted objects. The piece couldve easily attatched itself to a fucking enchanted teddy bear in toddler Harry’s room. I cant remember if there was a spell or whatever that would ensure the proper adhesion of soul and item/living being but fuck it in this particular instance.

It was very much a piece of writing that had no good explanation. It doesn't help that the bulk of horcruxes' magic isn't explained, but one could assume under a normal circumstance there is a spell that binds it to an object. We could possibly say that the part of the soul decided to latch onto the most "secure" object it could find in the vicinity. In this case, it would be the magically protected Harry.

 

[omori]

Even as a kid i always thought Harry’s interest in Gunny came out of nowhere. She was always “Ron’s little sister” to Harry then book 5 came around and BAM Harry is infatuated with her. There’s zero buildup.

 

[ShortPoppy]

Harry's not really meant to be an interesting character though. I always thought of him as an audience surrogate. He's the outsider who gets thrown into the world of magic and sees the new world how we are meant to see it. Hermione is the walking encyclopaedia to explain obscure lore to the audience. Ron is the insider who helps us understand what's strange and what's normal in this new world. The Harry Potter characters are tools. Functionaries so the plot can happen. There's nothing wrong with that for a fun adventure book for kids. But remember, it's for kids, not adults who wish they were kids.

That was true and acceptable for the beginning of the series, but I think it clearly moved beyond that (or attempted to) further down the track where Harry's personal situation, choices and prejudices etc. became plot drivers. Especially with the whole prophecy malarkey which was meant to cast the whole story as a heroic epic, or some kind of parable or something.

Even as a kid i always thought Harry’s interest in Gunny came out of nowhere. She was always “Ron’s little sister” to Harry then book 5 came around and BAM Harry is infatuated with her. There’s zero buildup.

There were little throwaway lines (in Book 6, not 5) about Harry smelling Ginny's perfume in that potion in Slughorn's class, and being aware of her presence for the first time in 5 years, and maybe a couple of other things I've forgotten. It was written out in a way for the discerning Harry Potter fan to go clue 1 + clue 2 = EVERLASTING LOVE (based on a crush that began probably before Ginny even started puberty).

And while Harry is falling in love with Ginny as part of a lame, minor puzzle subplot, Dumbledore keeps pontificating about the Enduring Mystery and Undefeatable Power of Love that will never be fully understood or controlled by wizardkind. At first I found it really interesting for a kids' magical adventure story to take a turn towards exploring Big Themes about life, love & death, but Rowling really shouldn't have tried to go that way, the results are a mess.

 

[Adamska]

Even as a kid i always thought Harry’s interest in Gunny came out of nowhere. She was always “Ron’s little sister” to Harry then book 5 came around and BAM Harry is infatuated with her. There’s zero buildup.

Nahh, Book 5 was when Rowling began to actually put her more in the book to force this down our throats. The romance appeared out of nowhere in Book 6, maybe after a chapter or two of build up with very minor details. Either way, the books very clearly declined when she tried to write deeper than "Kid's story".