James Rolfe / James D. Rolfe / Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) / Rex Viper and Cinemassacre / Screenwave - Now with not much grieving about a 41-year old man still making videos on YouTube. We're the balls on the dick.

Which videos do you like the most from Cinemassacre?

  • Angry Video Game Nerd

    Votes: 1,813 63.5%

  • You Know Whats Bullshit

    Votes: 143 5.0%

  • James and Mike Mondays

    Votes: 96 3.4%

  • Board James

    Votes: 443 15.5%

  • Monster Madness

    Votes: 270 9.5%

  • James' movie reviews

    Votes: 90 3.2%
  • Total voters
    2,855
I just got done reading James' book and the most eye opening thing to me about the AVGN movie is how much he tried to cram in there.

It sounds like the film nearly drove him insane, but all of these effects shots and this type of shoot was what he wanted. I think most people would have been perfectly fine without a giant monster, zombies, car chases, UFOs, and all sorts of other craziness. If I had taken one look at that script, I'd have been like "Dude, you can't possibly do all of this".

Instead of trying to accomplish 40 big ideas, why not reduce that down to, I don't know, 2 or 3? I mean the basic premise of AVGN reviewing the one game he wants to avoid and uncovering a conspiracy around the game that gets him wrapped up into something stupid is actually a fun and silly idea on its own. I don't see why they needed to cram so much other stuff into it.

In regards to the internet reviewers that made their movies, I give a little bit of credit to James and even Doug and Linkara for making their movies/projects. Yeah, they're bad, but they still made them. They got them out there and, for better or worse, they created something that they thought their fans would want. That puts them above Spoony who never got his fan-funded film passed the planning stages.
 
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RumblyTumbly said:
It sounds like the film nearly drove him insane
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Some people say that the pressure of making a movie did drive spoony insane, but imo he was already going down that road. I'm just not sure how any of these early YT critic based movies even could be good. In the end, spoony may have done the smarter thing of taking the money and running.

Of all people, Chris Stuckman is doing one and that guy's absolutely wretched at everything so I'm expecting another big wet fart from him.
 
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mlanguishi said:
Some people say that the pressure of making a movie did drive spoony insane, but imo he was already going down that road. I'm just not sure how any of these early YT critic based movies even could be good. In the end, spoony may have done the smarter thing of taking the money and running.

Of all people, Chris Stuckman is doing one and that guy's absolutely wretched at everything so I'm expecting another big wet fart from him.
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Don't forget to add ralphthemoviemaker as he also is trying hard to make his own movie, yet I doubt that it's ever coming out being well too busy reviewing capeshit bullshit.
 
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mlanguishi said:
Of all people, Chris Stuckman is doing one and that guy's absolutely wretched at everything so I'm expecting another big wet fart from him.
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Okay, time to be a dickhead.

There are internet reviewers that have come up over the years, and whether I like them or not, I at least understand the appeal. AVGN? One of the first of its kind and perfect angry internet content and has a great theme song. NC? Nostalgia sells and right time/right place. Linkara? He filled a niche at the time of his rise. Spoony? He's a rambling lunatic that was fun to listen to. NChick? Her videos were pretty well researched and offered a slightly different tone beyond ranting and raving. RLM? I love those fucking drunks. Alot of the other CA people? They were connected to Doug so...yeah. That's how most of them got their audience.

But for the fucking life of me, I do not get Stuckman at all. He's just Mr. Boring that talks about a movie and that's it. I don't like Jeremy Jahns either, but his energy which I find annoying is what people find endearing. I do not get the appeal of Stuckman. I'd rather watch paint dry.
 
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RumblyTumbly said:
But for the fucking life of me, I do not get Stuckman at all. He's just Mr. Boring that talks about a movie and that's it. I don't like Jeremy Jahns either, but his energy which I find annoying is what people find endearing. I do not get the appeal of Stuckman. I'd rather watch paint dry.
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And to make it even worse, some years ago Stuckman said 'I'm not doing anymore negative reviews, I'm only reviewing what I like and give positive feedback because I'm making a movie and don't want people to bash it'.

It's a really weird thing with that guy. Jahns has awful takes, but is a bit interesting to watch. There's not even the slightest chance a Stuckman review will be interesting and he intentionally made it that way.
 
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RumblyTumbly said:
But for the fucking life of me, I do not get Stuckman at all. He's just Mr. Boring that talks about a movie and that's it. I don't like Jeremy Jahns either, but his energy which I find annoying is what people find endearing. I do not get the appeal of Stuckman. I'd rather watch paint dry.
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Chris Stuckman is to reviewing the same way Jimmy Kimmel is to comedy. They're both boring and pretentious yet normies keep buying into whatever the two say and act that it's beyond amazing. They also act like high school history teachers who are 40-to-50 years old, yet try desperately to fit in with the targeted students that they come off as total embarrassments even though they try not to.

Oh, and lest we forget his butthurt rambling in his Rise of the Skywalker review where doesn't want anyone to hate the Star Wars brand. Just consoom product and get excited for next product, am I right Chris Cuckman? Fuck off, dude. I'm so happy I unsubbed from you back in 2018.
 
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RumblyTumbly said:
If I had taken one look at that script, I'd have been like "Dude, you can't possibly do all of this".
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James heard that from people and decided to double down out of spite. He wanted to prove he could do it, even though it was a terrible idea to begin with. He just wanted to put everything he liked into one movie, but that just made it a fucking mess and had nothing to do with AVGN. He never thought about what the film needed or what it would take to make it entertaining. From filming in Hollywood to having the fans worship him on screen, the movie is just a pure ego trip.

James is the movie's sole target audience and its only fan. He sucks his own dick in the book and says he's entertained by his own movie, which is unusual for any creative person. Usually you can't stand your own work. You just notice all your mistakes, and there's nothing you'd really gain from watching something you made. It's actually healthy to be critical of yourself: it drives you to improve. James loving his own movie is either a pure cope or he truly is that delusional.
 
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I just found out James is gonna appear on the podcast that happened today (no I can't remember the name of it and only watched highlights) where they had DSP on and roasted his ass with some hard hitting questions and criticisms for several hours. There's bound to be some good material from that, basically every time James opens his mouth something worth making fun of comes out. I used to really like James but I can't help but enjoy seeing him clowned on a bit. He's just got a weird vibe. It's probably the autism.

woofman harrer

Edit: it's "side scrollers podcast" apparently. I think he'll be on in a few weeks or so.
 
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Kieran struck down the YouTube reupload of his stream.
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mlanguishi said:
WTF is that faggot going to do IRL? All these tiktok/youtube morons need to realize, make a bunch of money and don't need to work, or you're screwed. Make it big, or cuck out. There's really no other long-term career that I think of.
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And there used to be a time where you could actually make a career for the industry, but instead, it's social media or be homeless (which in this case, in order to survive this hectic rat race, you gotta either get a job at a fast food restaurant, be some street performer or win the lottery).
 
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Who was the "cohost" that was irritatingly yelling and unnecessarily chiming in during Kieran's stream? I couldn't tell if it was his girlfriend, boyfriend, or a neighbor.

Also, Kieran talks about possibly selling his car, and losing his computer. The computer is five years old. Surely an equivalent one wouldn't cost more than, say, $500 now? I'm sure he has a bunch of random gaming swag and such he could easily sell to get that.

I'm honestly saddened to hear Justin Silverman was one of the shitty coworkers. I thought they were friends and worked on stuff before Cinemassacre. Between Kieran, Newt, and Jarret, Justin has lost a lot of badly-named friends.
 
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I feel a more interesting take on the AVGN would be as follows


Nerd is still the Nerd. His adventures still happened, but they're still webcast.

Evil military cripple sees that the military recruitment rates are down and gets livid. He begins to demand to know why, learns of the AVGN and him being able to make shitty old retro games. Decides he wants to harness that power.

Cut to nerd and Mike as they learn of the ET landfill. They decide they should review the fans biggest requested game and schedule schedule road trip, stopping at a few locations.

Eventually cripple mctank kidnaps the nerd for messing with ET and explains that it was a secret test to recruit the best of the best, like the Sword quest contests from the old magazines. This massive failure caused ET to be buried and cripple to hate videogames.

He then shows nerd a new call of duty clone and demands that nerd give it a sparkling review, which in turn will boost army recruitment.

Final showdown.

ET review.

Bam. I made a better and more true AVGN movie.
 
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