Disaster Jeffery Epstein has comitted suicide - Matt Groening got him

Convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein is dead, law enforcement sources said Saturday.

A gurney carrying a man who looked like Epstein was wheeled out of the Manhattan Correctional Center around 7:30 a.m. The ambulance went to New York Downtown Hospital.

Jeffrey Epstein dead in apparent suicide

Convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein died overnight in an apparent suicide, federal officials said Saturday. Epstein, 66, was found unresponsive in his cell in the Special Housing Unit of Manhattan …

nypost.com

 

[Mellorine]

Normally I'd be thrilled to find out about a dead pedophile via this fine website, but fuck the Clintons and fuck this shitty cover up.

 

[Cloacan]

Or he could be on a flight to Israel right now. I doubt he was going to roll over, so this could all be theatre.

He's a convicted pedophile who'll spend the rest of his life in PC with a ruined reputation. I don't see what's so implausible about him committing suicide.

He was already attacked once in his cell, in what looked like was supposed to be a 'suicide'. There is no excuse for giving him the ability to strangle himself. They could have kept him alive if they wanted to, they could have protected him from himself and others. They chose not to.

 

[Juan Von Kwan]

so what’s gonna happen now? are the clintons and trump off the hook?

 

[Judge Holden]

Wonder if we will get "totally unedited camera footage from the cell" that totally proves no wrongdoing in which Epstein's rigid corpse is danced around on marrionette puppet strings like a fucking Thunderbirds character while a cassete player emits spliced audio of him declaring something along the lines of

"Oh dEAR i AM ABOUt to kiLl mySELF wItH This RoPE i sNUck IN! i haVe ABsOLutELY No iNCRImInAtiNG inForMATIon ON...."

recording suddenly cuts to the voice of

"HILLARY CLINTON"

and back to spliced epstein

"NOW As I puLl thIS ROpE aRoUNd MY NEcK i hope thAT my bEst fRiEND DonaLd dRumPffF IS AbLe TO Find THE hUmANiTY TO ConfEsS his TeN ThOuSanD ChILd RaPEs He CoMmItTEd On My ISlAND WhIle He WAS cONSpiRINg with PuTIN to STEAL the ElEctIOn FROM OUR OnE TruE pReSiDENt"

once again it cuts back to the voice of

"HILLARY CLINTON"

and back to epstein once again

"GOODbyE CRuEl wORLD, mAY my CrIMes OF eLeCTORal IntErfErenCE, aTtempteD SnItching ON iNNOCent ReAL-tRUe presIdenTs, And mIScELlANeOUs, Be ForgIVEN IN my CompLetelY vOLuNTARY deATh"

 

[WarehouseKiwi]

Anyone have any idea how 'suicide watch' actually works? How strict is it, really? 24/7 monitoring? Multiple cameras? In-person surveillance? Surely it was multiple people's explicit job to make sure this couldn't happen.

How the fuck did this cunt find the time and space to kill himself?

 

[Useless Idiot]

when Jeffrey Epstein encases his feet in concrete and throws himself into the Hudson River

 

[FA 855]

I believe in a more mundane explanation that the guards decided to kill him themselves, who has the most exclusive access to Epstein, the guards, I can believe the Clintons might have been involved but honestly I think the guards might have just done it themselves.

 

[sophnar0747]

Wait, what are we talking about again?

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

It’s amazing he lasted all these years. Really shows he knew how to pick his rich blackmail targets. Only billionaires who had no idea how to find a good hitman. If he had tried his scheme in Eastern Europe or Asia the dude would have been disappeared before 1981.

 

[PonelessBizza]

View attachment 883923

Wait, what are we talking about again?

Congratulations. You now have the gay

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOink]

You would think we're past the point as a populace for letting this shit go down in this internet age. Anybody with a working pulse knows this is fake ass news, if there was ever a time to not move on with the news cycle America nows the time

 

[It's HK-47]

Hey, do you all want to know the really fun part? If Epstein is dead--faked-suicide or murder or just regular suicide--no one else will have standing to challenge the search warrant on any of his properties. Everything will be admissible against any other defendant without any possibility of a motion to suppress. If this was a murder, they didn't think that part through very well.

 

[Bob's Ghost]

My heart goes out to the prosecutors who had their time wasted.

 

[Wesley Willis]

Building 7 didn't fall, Epstein just had it moved to his island.

 

[Anonymous For This]

Hey, do you all want to know the really fun part? If Epstein is dead--faked-suicide or murder or just regular suicide--no one else will have standing to challenge the search warrant on any of his properties. Everything will be admissible against any other defendant without any possibility of a motion to suppress. If this was a murder, they didn't think that part through very well.

I feel like there's going to be a lot of, "LET IT BE, JENKINS, HE'S DEAD. THIS IS ABOVE YOUR PAYGRADE," going on at the FBI right now.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

That feel when you realize that Alex Jones is off today...

fuck man, that would have been a good ass show.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

 

[PantsFreeZone]

The Clintons going through the prosecutors assigned to this case.

 

[AmpleApricots]

lol, everyone said they'll have him killed, then the name list came out and a day later he's dead. What a coincidence.

For everyone that posted "good" - Now everyone he was involved with in his pedo-sex-ring shit is 100% gonna get away with it.

 

[Judge Holden]

That feel when you realize that Alex Jones is off today...

fuck man, that would have been a good ass show.

Plot Twist: Alex Jones was the assassin and he killed him in jail to ensure he had enough shit to talk about for the next decade