Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Spunt]

Can you imagine how infuriating he would be to know in person? Where any and all advice is disregarded in the principle that he’s so petty he refuses to do anything anybody suggests because he views it as them having power over him presumably? He could be planning to shave his head but one person says “Hey man, I think you’d look cool with a bald head” and he’d just refuse to shave his head after for fear that person would think they were the ones that got him to shave his head or that it was their idea. It’s an incomprehensible level of unwarranted pride to think that accepting help or taking another persons advice is somehow a “win” for them and a “loss” for you

Cobes' psychology totally and autistically centres on denial that he is a retard. Being put in special ed in school really messed with him and made him feel inferior, so he's spent his entire life trying to prove that he can be independent and that he is not a retard, I think Clint knows this and feels guilty about it, which plays into the weird and sometimes contradictory ways he relates to his son. Combine this motivation with Cobes' particular brand of thought-looping autism, and he has decided that taking advice = being told what to do = admitting he is a retard. So his guiding principle is to do the absolute opposite of what anyone suggests, at all times. He is emotionally stunted, and is permanently stuck in the "Fuck you dad, I'm going to make my room extra untidy just to piss you off!" phase of adolescence, which also plays into this very strongly. Of course, in reality, taking advice and listening to the opinions of others who may be better placed than you to understand something is an important part of being an independent adult and making good decisions, and Cobes' inability to take advice and petulant stubbornness have done him untold harm and will eventually render him homeless and/or kill him.

Josh of course has not figured any of this out.

Because he is a retard.

 

[Incel Death Note]

The only thing Josh hasnt done that cyraxx has is send dick pics to a minor. Theres people infinetely more deserving of empathy than Josh. He literally pitched a fit last night because someone didnt send a drink with his chicken nuggies.

With all the dumb bullshit the reddit retards send him he has the right to make some demands. They are now his paypig bitches and they BETTER NOT forget his fucking drink next time. So mote it be in the witch's circle.

 

[Quintus]

The only thing Josh hasnt done that cyraxx has is send dick pics to a minor. Theres people infinetely more deserving of empathy than Josh. He literally pitched a fit last night because someone didnt send a drink with his chicken nuggies.

Cobra is a harmless retard. Get off your high horse faggot.

 

[You're MDNWU]

Lord in heaven if you think Cobes is the bottom of the barrel, just the epitome of evil, worthy of every torture you can manage to conceive…just wait, my delectable little nigger muffin. Life will teach you what evil is.

It's as if they've never wandered over to Stink Ditch or Animal Control.

"The alcoholic retard who lives off DoorDash and duster is evil! Evviiiilll! Oh, porn addicted trannies or rot dog wearers with a forever-piss smell and dead animal fuckers? Never heard of 'em"

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Cobra:
1. He’s kind to animals
2. He’s kind to people

Kind to animals? He bashed a bird to death with a tire iron. He’s always a dick to his dad and other people if he doesn’t get his way. I’m not trying to play the devil advocate but both of these things are questionable at best.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Poor guy is mental and maladapted. He reminds me of a kid from my old neighborhood.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Kind to animals? He bashed a bird to death with a tire iron. He’s always a dick to his dad and other people if he doesn’t get his way. I’m not trying to play the devil advocate but both of these things are questionable at best.

That’s the joke

 

[eaglesfan665]

Kind to animals? He bashed a bird to death with a tire iron.

When did this happen? All I remember is that time he ran a little bird over with his bike because he felt bad for it being out in the parking lot

 

[BallBuster II]

You should see the guy that spent $300+ on a stupid DoorDash grocery order on Christmas Day and didn’t even send it to the right apartment if you haven’t already

If that guy was serious about tipping the driver $200, then he will get no hate or flack from me. That order was insanely stupid, but a $200 tip will make a Dasher's week, if not his whole month.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

What is the outcome of combining liquor and beer at the same time...

In southern Germany there is a drink called "Goaßmaß".

"Goaß" is the Bavarian word for "goat", "Maß" (Mass) comes from the 1 liter mug that is used for the drink (the huge beer glasses you might know from the Oktoberfest). Basically it's a mix of cola and beer and you jug in some cherry liqeur or some brandy but you can also order it with whiskey and obviously if you mix it on your own everything goes.

 

[Big Sneed]

Getting Josh to kill himself ruins the content and makes you look even more retarded than he is.

Very few understand this. Between that mindset of "we have to destroy him" and all the new eyes coming to his channel and think that that's the whole point the boys fightin for his life.

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

I wonder how many small black kids had to work in the mines in Africa to get the minerals for Apple to build a smart phone only for some retard in America to smash it and yell, "FUCK YOOOOU!" at it. What a world we live in.

 

[You're MDNWU]

Honestly Cobes should just do a bulk purchase of iPhone 6's as it'll likely be cheaper and easier than waiting a few weeks before his newest one.

But, he won't, unless a paypiggy ships him some.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

When did this happen? All I remember is that time he ran a little bird over with his bike because he felt bad for it being out in the parking lot

It didn't happen. The story Southwest Strangla is thinking of was Josh finding an injured bird and running it over with his bike because it was painfully dying from injuries. A literal mercy kill of a dying injured animal. Through a game of telephone that turned into "Josh was smashing birds for fun with a tire iron!" this is exactly how the pedo rumors started.

 

[TheTourist]

Honestly Cobes should just do a bulk purchase of iPhone 6's as it'll likely be cheaper and easier than waiting a few weeks before his newest one.

But, he won't, unless a paypiggy ships him some.

if I were the filtthy rich type I'd doordash him some of these bad boys as a way of saying thanks for the entertainment making my workdays go by faster.

 

[Ponzo]

Cobes is actually a good person. Let’s break down a comparison between you two:
Cobra:
4. He’s open minded and accepting of all (as long as you’re not a sicko)

Cobra is a harmless retard. Get off your high horse faggot.

The only ones suffering are his direct neighbors, he doesn't leave his love shack unless his family drags him somwhere

Kind to animals? He bashed a bird to death with a tire iron. He’s always a dick to his dad and other people if he doesn’t get his way. I’m not trying to play the devil advocate but both of these things are questionable at best.

Didn't he say he ran the bird over with his bike? If you actually believe that you also believe that he totes pissed on a dead deer dood all while ozzy pointed at him and yelled "that dude knows how to piss". Not like our boglim makes up shit to sound like a goth badass all day for years

 

[Slim Boglim]

Didn't he say he ran the bird over with his bike? If you actually believe that you also believe that he totes pissed on a dead deer dood all while ozzy pointed at him and yelled "that dude knows how to piss". Not like our boglim makes up shit to sound like a goth badass all day for years

It’s always like this. The fact of the matter is cobra is a completely unreliable narrator that makes shit up and lies constantly but if it’s something that makes him look bad people always believe it in face value because. Not saying it is or isn’t actually true just pointing out the potential validity of his stories are all the same and yet there’s only one kind of cobra story that people don’t view with any skepticism and that’s any story that is embarrassing or makes him look bad. Personally I treat any cobra story as total bullshit, something highly exaggerated, or something to be taken with a grain of salt until there’s more evidence to go by than just his word because in the wise words of the Greasy Strangler he’s a bullshit artist

 

[You're MDNWU]

Snip

I'll continue to call bullshit on the pregnant lady threesome with Couch Chris story because of this. Chances are, retard brain thought it would be a bad ass story to tell, Couch Chris said it'd be a bad ass/funny story and Stefanie would be jealous and love him more, or Stefanie already cheated on him and he was using it as a revenge story.

 

[Slim Boglim]

I'll continue to call bullshit on the pregnant lady threesome with Couch Chris story because of this. Chances are, retard brain thought it would be a bad ass story to tell, Couch Chris said it'd be a bad ass/funny story and Stefanie would be jealous and love him more, or Stefanie already cheated on him and he was using it as a revenge story.

The only cobra stories I believe are the ones where he’s really pissed off and ranting/venting like the “I wasn’t staring at her either” rant

Edit: or stories where he’s clearly upset about something but hesitant to say why or claims he won’t elaborate before inevitably he can’t help himself and vents to the camera like the time he destroyed the fans wand holster

 

[CowPox]

Will he get withdrawals if he stops cold turkey at this point? After the four gallons of vodka or whatever he was gifted?