Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[DiggieSmalls]

Will he get withdrawals if he stops cold turkey at this point? After the four gallons of vodka or whatever he was gifted?

i think if you were to binge that much vodka you'd get some serious withdrawal symptoms.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I'll continue to call bullshit on the pregnant lady threesome with Couch Chris story because of this. Chances are, retard brain thought it would be a bad ass story to tell, Couch Chris said it'd be a bad ass/funny story and Stefanie would be jealous and love him more, or Stefanie already cheated on him and he was using it as a revenge story.

It's 1000% made up but the mental image of Couch Chris and Cobes tagging in to bang a pregnant woman in the back of a van at a gas station is pretty hilarious though.

 

[Ponzo]

I'll continue to call bullshit on the pregnant lady threesome with Couch Chris story because of this. Chances are, retard brain thought it would be a bad ass story to tell, Couch Chris said it'd be a bad ass/funny story and Stefanie would be jealous and love him more, or Stefanie already cheated on him and he was using it as a revenge story.

i don't even believe the story that he jerked off for a fellow retard, but his stories make great songs

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

i think if you were to binge that much vodka you'd get some serious withdrawal symptoms.

Cobra's saving grace with alcoholism is his retard woman style of drinking by diluting everything with tons of soda, juice, milk, chocolate chip cookies and monster energy drink, etc. He drinks often, but not really a lot because he's a light weight. If he gets accustomed to drinking gallons of vodka that'll change quickly.

I'll continue to call bullshit on the pregnant lady threesome with Couch Chris

I also call bullshit, people seem to forget that Stephanie cheated on him and admitted to him that she cheated first. They also forget that Josh is extremely homophobic (based) and would have never in a million years been in the same van as Couch Chris with his dick out, even if it was in the other end of a spitroasted Casper troglodyte.

Not to mention people have DMd Couch Chris in the years since and he completely denied it, though I suppose the argument of "he just wants to move on and who would admit that" has value, but it just doesn't make sense. Josh lies and hallucinates too much for me to believe anything he says wholesale without proof. It's hilarious either way, and IMO even more funny that it's a lie. "oh you cheated on me? Well I fucked a pregnant crackhead for a cigarette with Couch Chris bitch"

 

[Slim Boglim]

i don't even believe the story that he jerked off for a fellow retard, but his stories make great songs

Yeah the fact that he’s been on YouTube oversharing all details of his life for 10+ years and he just never happened to mention sneaking off in the woods with a sped girl to fondle her and jerk it sets off my bullshit alarm. It could be a true story but it could equally just be bullshit he made up for god knows what reason. Like when he told a story about how he dropped acid and shit his pants in a gas station. Clearly a bullshit story but it’s made believable because like, why would anybody make that up about themselves? A) he’s retarded and b) he probably thinks it sounds like a cool story out of a 2000’s raunchy comedy movie like American pie or some shit

 

[Bixby Snyder]

The answer to everything is he is retarded.

Cobes: “I jerked off to some girl in the woods and fondled her tits — but it’s okay because we are both retarded.”

Viewer: “Did he just admit to molesting some retarded girl?!”

Stupid stories are meant to make him cool. Dumb people take them at face value while people watching for a while see it for what it is, a fucked up attempt to seem cool.

The attempts to appear like a cool rock star goth bad boy literally rules his life.

No clue how people think he’s evil and whatever the fuck. Simple answer he’s retarded and selfish (they kinda go hand-in-hand) and you can pretty much point to that for any fuck up.

 

[AnOminous]

Will he get withdrawals if he stops cold turkey at this point? After the four gallons of vodka or whatever he was gifted?

A little less than two gallons.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Stupid stories are meant to make him cool. Dumb people take them at face value while people watching for a while see it for what it is, a fucked up attempt to seem cool.

It's not coincidental all this has faded away as he has become more isolated in the bog den. It's been a while.

 

[niggers]

It's 1000% made up but the mental image of Couch Chris and Cobes tagging in to bang a pregnant woman in the back of a van at a gas station is pretty hilarious though.

this guy gets it.

do i believe the puff story? not really. is the idea of duster-brain cobes getting outfoxed by a 2lb lizard as it waddles away from him really funny? hell yeah. so i'll go with that. if that gets you really mad and you start freaking out NO HE MURDEREDDDDDD THAT ANIMAL GET IT RIGHT HOW ARE YOU SO DUMB, that's your autistic issue, not mine or cobes.

 

['Ole Dente]

this guy gets it.

do i believe the puff story? not really. is the idea of duster-brain cobes getting outfoxed by a 2lb lizard as it waddles away from him really funny? hell yeah. so i'll go with that. if that gets you really mad and you start freaking out NO HE MURDEREDDDDDD THAT ANIMAL GET IT RIGHT HOW ARE YOU SO DUMB, that's your autistic issue, not mine or cobes.

You have to think of Cobes as a child, he has the brain that’s the size of a literal pea. He is mentally a child trying to understand an adult world that will forever elude him. The journey is entertaining and I don’t know why anyone expects him to do anything other than be retarded in the attempt. Be mad at the people who facilitate him having a pet, not the pea brain who could’ve never taken care of it to begin with.

 

[AnOminous]

You have to think of Cobes as a child, he has the brain that’s the size of a literal pea. He is mentally a child trying to understand an adult world that will forever elude him. The journey is entertaining and I don’t know why anyone expects him to do anything other than be retarded in the attempt. Be mad at the people who facilitate him having a pet, not the pea brain who could’ve never taken care of it to begin with.

He has a tiny brain and the parts of it that aren't holes from the duster are worms.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

He's mentally 13 at best and should not be living on his own. A-logs tend to forget that part.

 

[Buster Scruggs]

He's mentally 13 at best and should not be living on his own. A-logs tend to forget that part.

The most endearing Cobes moments for me personally are how hypocritical he is. For any other cow being a hypocrite pisses me off to an unreasonable degree, it’s why following Ralph or Rekieta is so hard for me. But for Josh it’s actually funny because most of the time he’s hypocritical to either pander to one side or sound cool. The best example of this and one of the funniest for me is when he’ll make fun of the “skygod” people believe in, while completely forgetting he made up an entire cobra religion and also believes that when he dies he’s going to hang out with satan and be like, super cool dood. Or when he’s talking about being nice to the homeless while talking shit directly to Warlord or Couch Chris’s face. His political views are entirely constructed by what kind of people he interacted with recently, like Walt and Angie being pro 2nd amendment, but still trying to come off as a liberal feminist whenever he thinks pussy might be afoot.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Or when he’s talking about being nice to the homeless while talking shit directly to Warlord or Couch Chris’s face.

Wasn't Couch Chris homeless because he refused to get a job and just leeched off of Cobes for several months? Kind of deserved being shit talked.

 

[snort beg snort]

What gets me sometimes about the redditard faggots that rage about his stupidity on the subreddit act all dumbfounded when he does retarded shit. Like, he does or says some retarded ass shit (because he's retarded) and people are like "wow what a fuckin retard!". I'm over here like yeah dude that's because he's fucking retarded.

"why did he do this why did he do that blah blah". The reason every single time is the same. I believe someone here called it "boglims razor".

 

[Bogliacci]

We need MORE of cobra lying, more delusional cobra stories, more tall tales from our casper cryptid!!!

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

this guy gets it.

do i believe the puff story? not really. is the idea of duster-brain cobes getting outfoxed by a 2lb lizard as it waddles away from him really funny? hell yeah. so i'll go with that. if that gets you really mad and you start freaking out NO HE MURDEREDDDDDD THAT ANIMAL GET IT RIGHT HOW ARE YOU SO DUMB, that's your autistic issue, not mine or cobes.

The thunderous condemnations of Cobes on Reddit are always hilarious. He's not some goofball in Casper, Wyoming, he's a RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC, SEXIST, ANIMAL ABUSER.

 

[GibMoneyPls]

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The only ones suffering are his direct neighbors, he doesn't leave his love shack unless his family drags him somwhere

Didn't he say he ran the bird over with his bike? If you actually believe that you also believe that he totes pissed on a dead deer dood all while ozzy pointed at him and yelled "that dude knows how to piss". Not like our boglim makes up shit to sound like a goth badass all day for years

There's a video of it. He's standing there with his bike and is showing the injured bird and talking about mercy killing it.

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

What gets me sometimes about the redditard faggots that rage about his stupidity on the subreddit act all dumbfounded when he does retarded shit. Like, he does or says some retarded ass shit (because he's retarded) and people are like "wow what a fuckin retard!". I'm over here like yeah dude that's because he's fucking retarded.

I've noticed this a lot in the wild recently. I was watching some british faggot talk about a Beach Boys album on youtube and he was talking about Brian Wilson's mental issues only to then criticize some lyrics for being 'problematic'. I mean, probably. The guy was insane. They did the same thing with Kanye. Can't handle even an insane person saying something they don't agree with and start tard raging.

 

['Ole Dente]

We need MORE of cobra lying, more delusional cobra stories, more tall tales from our casper cryptid!!!

He would have to have a life outside of YouTube for most of that to happen and he doesn’t. My guy gets up, cranks one out and turns on the livestream waiting for handles. He doesn’t go out and he doesn’t have friends, they all eventually recognize that his life is insane or he’s an impossible person to be friends with.

We are all he has left.