Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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The Judean People's Front said:
I know a lot of you guys don't like the female cows much, but Jessica is increasingly reminding me of Kindness, the pooner who was the spark that imploded the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch. They are both vile, personality-disordered women who latch to their victim like a facehugger. Kindness is famous for streaming naked from her bathtub (and constant peeing in said tubs). Anyway, just thought the similarities are remarkable, and if Cobes ends up like Bonnie (Kindness' victim), she's not going anywhere soon.
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Kindness has "I can fix her!" potential, though. If she got off the troon shit, stopped being retarded and cleaned up, she could be a decent catch.

Jessica is a lost cause.
 
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IsaacShraeder said:
Found the BOY his very own slice of heaven:
>two acres just outside casper
>electricity available
>all for just 25k
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25k plus a ton of money for a trailer/manufactured home and getting utilities to that plot

for 110k he can have his own little house with shed for the wand-manufacturing near the center of casper. He can even steal one of those old avocado colored oven that his apartment complex dumps in the parking lot
 
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k0ndumba2 said:
I wonder, will Puff's mummified corpse be uncovered as the lair gets packed up? Maybe, but probably not. It's funny to think about, at least.
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Nah puff perished outdoors since Josh lost him when he went out to smoke. He was either that bearded dragon that was found nearby in a parking lot. (IIRC it was a mile or two away from cobes house which realistically is very possible) Or puff died outside Josh's window huddled up next to a car engine or dryer exhaust.
 
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
Nah puff perished outdoors since Josh lost him when he went out to smoke. He was either that bearded dragon that was found nearby in a parking lot. (IIRC it was a mile or two away from cobes house which realistically is very possible)
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May I ask for a source fellow cobrah? If someone found a beardie, did they save it?

Brett DeLawyer said:
This is why I’m convinced she’s a Sea Hag and not a Bog Hag, which would also explain why her attempts to breed with Cobes are not working.
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Perhaps she's a nymph, a siren perhaps? *insert high-pitch ululating noises here*
 
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Your Landlord said:
May I ask for a source fellow cobrah? If someone found a beardie, did they save it?
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It was mentioned in that lost pets group, IIRC Clint went and collected the lizard, said it wasn't puff and then gave it to the animal shelter. It's speculated that it was Puff and Clint knowingly did this to save puffers from Josh.

Furthermore, I think it's totally plausible. What are the odds of another lost exotic pet like that being lost a mile away in Casper.
 
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SupremeGuntleman said:
It was mentioned in that lost pets group, IIRC Clint went and collected the lizard, said it wasn't puff and then gave it to the animal shelter. It's speculated that it was Puff and Clint knowingly did this to save puffers from Josh.

Furthermore, I think it's totally plausible. What are the odds of another lost exotic pet like that being lost a mile away in Casper.
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I didn't know about that, thanks friend. Hopefully it was Pufferth. It seems plausible, but from what I've seen about Casper WY I might venture to assume that many of them get cheap lizards. Unrelated, but beardies don't even do well in the desert for long where I am so I'd be shocked if Puff had the energy to get a couple miles away.
 
Bogliacci said:
There will never be a group home saga and if there is I will drink a handle of everclear mixed with cotton candy mac and cheese powder.
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The closest thing we’ll get is after the next eviction, and don’t kid yourself that’s going to happen faster than this one now that that these retards smell blood in the water, is that Clint follows through on his promise to buy Cobra his tiny house and plant that thing right in the backyard. Cobra won’t do it now, even the idea itself sends him straight into deep denial mode, but I think after the next eviction him and Clint are gunna have one of those hard “Bud you can’t own a debit card” talks that ends up with Cobra half-heartedly admitting that the only feasible option is the one Clint is making him do and I think that’s going to result in the King going back to his kingdom.

Then, my friends, the real content starts. I am waiting with bated breath to see Clint come on camera and scream “THESE FUCKING TROLLS BETTER QUIT IT, JOSHUA, OR IM CUTTING DOWN YOUR INTERNET.”
 
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
The closest thing we’ll get is after the next eviction, and don’t kid yourself that’s going to happen faster than this one now that that these retards smell blood in the water, is that Clint follows through on his promise to buy Cobra his tiny house and plant that thing right in the backyard. Cobra won’t do it now, even the idea itself sends him straight into deep denial mode, but I think after the next eviction him and Clint are gunna have one of those hard “Bud you can’t own a debit card” talks that ends up with Cobra half-heartedly admitting that the only feasible option is the one Clint is making him do and I think that’s going to result in the King going back to his kingdom.
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I can honestly see Clint making the down payment on a small house for the boy and Josh making the mortgage payments if it's close to what he was paying in rent too
 
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Your Landlord said:
I didn't know about that, thanks friend. Hopefully it was Pufferth. It seems plausible, but from what I've seen about Casper WY I might venture to assume that many of them get cheap lizards. Unrelated, but beardies don't even do well in the desert for long where I am so I'd be shocked if Puff had the energy to get a couple miles away.
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img_1_1701901138429.jpg

I totally forgot about this insane subplot. There really is an endless amount of hilarious cobraverse lore.
 
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Bogliacci said:
I can honestly see Clint making the down payment on a small house for the boy and Josh making the mortgage payments if it's close to what he was paying in rent too
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It’s totally feasible and realistically the best thing for Cobra. Clint can keep an eye on him, he can field the DoorDash stuff for him while not reacting or mentioning it which after 6-8 months should kill the entire point of doing it. He can call ahead to EMS/Police/Fire services and have that put on a moratorium, they can call him ahead of time. He can fix Cobra’s bike and have him closer to services in town, not to mention transport. Cobra won’t ever listen to him but with him in the immediate vicinity, things could pick up for him. Not to mention that he’d kick Jessica off the property for being a fucking psycho and that would probably end the entire thing right there and then.

He would hate like 99% of his time there but he would never actually leave as he doesn’t have the means to do so and he’s way too fucking lazy to do it anyway. He’d be stuck being boy’d until the end of his days and it would be the best thing for him.
 
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Mushroom King said:
Jessica Messica really has a way with words sometimes, I really like her streams, she's like a Cobraverse tour guide.
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It's quite entertaining, I liked Jessica's waÿ of describing nal:

"I know everything she's saying has some sort of backing, but its just gross, why are we eating honey with our finger in the bathroom?"
 
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hector85 said:
unfortunately the hag still lives.
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Says she's going to quit smoking to help her get better, rips a bong and burns sage, refuses to get Advil or anything the doctors told her to get....but makes an elderberry drink and puts garlic oil in her ears. Fucking witch of the bog. Says she's not an alcoholic, drinks almost as early a Cobes. I actually enjoy her roller coaster of insanity as long as she not around the King, its pretty hilarious, but I feel Cobra would just organically create his own demise without speed running it with this hag. A bunch of screeching and accusing Cobes of insane shit and getting him (or helping) in his eviction. I feel like she should have been beat as a child and wasn't. I saw someone else mention this earlier, but if she was the last kid born (she says she has siblings) I can see why her parents treat her this way.
 
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