Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[I Frot The Law]

even for these goobers, it's just such a weird thing to have

Smelling salts are excruciating to use, that's the joke

 

[C. G. B. Spender]

I don't need to quit you, I can just cut back on you toobs... You're not a need, you're a want...
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Johnny Cash made a song based on this, its called Men in Black

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

Watching him waddle around a grocery store looking for dank foodhack ingredients would be peak content. I guess hes still banned from Albertsons though?

Yeah there's no way he would be able to stay under a budget. We're talking about the man who couldn't grasp why an 80 and 60 dollar purchase or whatever it was overdrafted a 100 dollar account. He genuinely shouldn't be in charge of any finances beyond some scraps of pocket money.

I just wish he'd go outside and film himself walking and talking, having little boglim encounters

 

[PetiteFeet]

Either he dies before 40 or he's a medical marvel that will live until 100 on only booze, tobacco, sugar, and moldy food

Cobes in his old age.
Also, that man didn't shower in 60 years.

 

[Retarded Gangstalker]

Smelling salts are excruciating to use, that's the joke

Thats what I took from it. Someone sent Cobra something stinky and told him he would get high if he sniffed it. Cobra sniffed it.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

Cobes in his old age.
Also, that man didn't shower in 60 years.

He lived to the ripe old age of 94 until he took a bath.

That's Cobes's future. He'll give himself 3 Stooges Syndrome (if he hasn't already) and live the rest of his life knowing he's only alive because the diseases he hosts are fighting a never ending battle of attrition to see what gets to kill him.

 

[Marty Robbins]

Cobes in his old age.
Also, that man didn't shower in 60 years.

Quad ciggy pull with the fly infested food is very on brand for Cobra

 

[underoo underarmour]

If you could magically make Cobes stone cold sober from duster, booze, weed, whatever with no withdrawals, how coherent do you think he'd be?

Back in the olden days he was slow, but he wasn't THAT retarded. He seemed like he had more poor judgment than actual disability sometimes. Wendy's tea excluded.

Now he's drunk most of the time so it's hard to get a feel for how far gone he actually is since every drunk person is a retard.

I assume this question is asking "how retarded is he now vs. his pre-substance abuse retardation level?".... But....

We are discussing that level of damage without considering the additional damage that withdrawal would cause. That is what makes this question interesting. It also, to some extent, makes the question impossible to answer. The damage that alcohol withdrawal does is significant. Many severe alcoholics don't truly decline until they stop drinking. The idea of looking at net damage to date minus the withdrawal damage is intriguing.

But let's say we can freeze-frame the damage, remove the addiction / intoxication and measure a baseline of window licking. I would argue that sober 2025 Cobes is significantly more retarded than basement dwelling or first apartment era Cobes. How much is hard to say without having seen him truly sober in some time. I am going to say his ability to day to day tasks has been impacted significantly.

Since this is an impossible (but interesting) question, I would also like to consider what state he would be in now if he went through medically supervised withdrawal. I think it would be similar to the hypothetical in the sense that he would barely be functional. In some ways I think him being constantly drunk makes us write off or ignore his cognitive decline as just intoxication, vs. Permanent damage from intoxication.

Good discussion topic.......
Tldr, Cobes is way retarded and drunk, not just drunk.

 

[Tetragrammaton]

Cobes in his old age.
Also, that man didn't shower in 60 years.

given how much cobes drinks i would not be surprised if he ever did actually stop drinking that it would end up killing him somehow much like taking a bath killed that guy.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

given how much cobes drinks i would not be surprised if he ever did actually stop drinking that it would end up killing him somehow much like taking a bath killed that guy.

You have to be a way worse alcoholic than Cobes for the withdrawals to kill you. I could be wrong, but I want to say you have to be at the point where you hardly eat any food because your body gets most of its nutrients from alcohol. Cobes could turn his life around and get clean if he wanted to but it seems like he's too set in his ways for that.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Not only is cobra loaded up with sugary alcoholic drinks but now he entered the world of crumbl cookies, two boxes!

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Are we going to get a crumbl mead?

He is trying his goy slop sandwich that he made extra mushy for his teeth

Jesus Christ some of those cookies can be like 1000 calories a piece he’s gonna inflate like a balloon

 

[underoo underarmour]

You have to be a way worse alcoholic than Cobes for the withdrawals to kill you. I could be wrong, but I want to say you have to be at the point where you hardly eat any food because your body gets most of its nutrients from alcohol. Cobes could turn his life around and get clean if he wanted to but it seems like he's too set in his ways for that.

This is a spectrum.. But yes, to directly die from they body's response to a lack of alcohol you have to be severely dependent. These are people who need to be on IV alcohol drips and sedated.

However, someone can easily die due to the stress on the body caused by withdrawal. You just have to be in poor physical health and have the right factors align. Diabetes, cardiac issues, renal impairment, infections, etc play a huge role.

We don't know what comorbidities Cobes has. He certainly isn't healthy, but no one (including him) knows exactly what else he has cooking in the background.

Tldr; Cobes dying from straight alcohol withdrawal is unlikely. Cobes declining rapidly from any given medical event is plausible.

 

[shaverinocory]

Johnny Cash made a song based on this, its called Men in Black

Cobes is a galaxy defender for sure

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I don't need to quit you, I can just cut back on you toobs... You're not a need, you're a want...
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"My trolls are more addicted to me than I am to Warlord's wand."

Love how you can automatically tell the Warlord photo is from the stream where Cobra pizza cucks him.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

I know there's one medicalfag that posts semi frequently in the ana-chan eating disorder cow threads that posts stuff related to this kind of talk, like lich queens having organs that are black and liquefied or shriveled and a quarter the weight they're supposed to be.
I'd be genuinely curious to read over the inevitable kingcobra autopsy report. Coroners no doubt would probably be unsurprised since they handle the corpses of junkies but I'd love to read the papers confirming or denying over a decade of fan/trole speculation in meticulous disgusting detail. Missing teeth count? Bone rot and infection in the mouth? Liver disease? Heart condition? Lung damage? Organ weight? Brain hemorrhages? Random anomalies that only the boglim would have? It's morbid and kinda sad to think about but I want to read it all toobs.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

I know there's one medicalfag that posts semi frequently in the ana-chan eating disorder cow threads that posts stuff related to this kind of talk, like lich queens having organs that are black and liquefied or shriveled and a quarter the weight they're supposed to be.
I'd be genuinely curious to read over the inevitable kingcobra autopsy report. Coroners no doubt would probably be unsurprised since they handle the corpses of junkies but I'd love to read the papers confirming or denying over a decade of fan/trole speculation in meticulous disgusting detail. Missing teeth count? Bone rot and infection in the mouth? Liver disease? Heart condition? Lung damage? Organ weight? Brain hemorrhages? Random anomalies that only the boglim would have? It's morbid and kinda sad to think about but I want to read it all toobs.

I presume it would be like Charles II's, whose medical autopsy report read more like a bad diss track due to the royal inbreeding reaching its zenith.

 

[charlesdickens]

The alcoholism can take a long time. I wouldn't be surprised if he's pre-diabetic at least. Otherwise, the most pressing concerns he needs to address are his teeth and his cough. The cough has been overlooked by most people it seems, but it has been horrible for a while now. He used to say he got kidney/abdomenal pain, it wouldn't be surprising if he gave himself an ulcer a few times at the very least.

 

[Chieftain Coke Peanut]

I just watched the sandwich video, why the hell do Clint and Tanis bother buying Cobes name brand products? They must know it's going to be food hacked and allowed to "cool off" before eventually being thrown away uneaten. Not to mention his taste buds being shot from smoking, and the fact he loves eating garbage like Wendy's and Arby's. He could have great value brand walmart slop and do the exact same thing with it.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

If I was in any of his family's place, I would probably watch his videos very rarely and deeply regret it.

As some of the posters here related, it sucks watching a love one turn into an addict and pretty much die before your eyes. I suspect his family does 'what they are supposed too' and only very rarely watch clips and probably only when its 'shotgun under the chin' levels of fucked up.

So buying good food for their baby boy is no big deal. They probably suspect he wastes it but as they say, "Ignorance is bliss".

 

[C. G. B. Spender]

The alcoholism can take a long time. I wouldn't be surprised if he's pre-diabetic at least. Otherwise, the most pressing concerns he needs to address are his teeth and his cough. The cough has been overlooked by most people it seems, but it has been horrible for a while now. He used to say he got kidney/abdomenal pain, it wouldn't be surprising if he gave himself an ulcer a few times at the very least.

Diabeetus is going to catch him at some point, thats for sure. I'd say coughing has a lot to do with that filthy ass pipe that he never cleans and regular cigs or NXT's that are his favorite, they have this capsule that makes it menthol flavored making chain smoking them like a trailer park hobo easier. His coughing is like 90% from tobacco.

Smoking from unclean pipe tastes and feels like you just set fire to your ashtray and puffed from it, its filthy my doodts.