Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

Uh oh toobz... will he have to find a new beer-of-choice that is as refined and as crisp as bud light?

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Potion_Time said:
I swear to god I could trick people into thinking kingcobrajfs is an outsider art project.

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Some ween/troll must have messaged him saying that there are only fart fetish vids done by cis gendered straight women for cis gendered straight men. Being the genda relayshuns expert he is, Cobes when about rectifying that. What a champ!
 
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Lesbian Sleepover said:
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Clint's Burden said:
Always wanted to see a cartoon like Superjail about Josh.

Speaking of fictional cartoons that never existed, anybody have a line out to that spastic Chazz Razzlowski?
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RollingRock said:
Dank drink combo
Dank hat
Dank wand
TWU
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StoicMoose said:
Feels like a liminal moment...
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Big Nasty said:
King Cobras foot is peanuts compared to those of some other persons of interest.

Phil (ADF)s feet were so bad they turned green because mold started growing on them.
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The Southwest Strangla said:

"I'm not homophobic even though elton john didn't snort cocaine with me"
"I've snorted cocaine while listening to snow blind by black sabbath"

he's really talking about coke a lot this stream
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we've cycled back to talking about wanting a car. he wants a 'project car to work on' but we all know that would never work out. he doesn't ride his bike anymore because it's broken and he's done nothing whatsoever to fix it, so even if he did manage to buy a car it would just sit and rot in his apartment parking lot, or he'd sell it for $300 in scrap or whatever. beyond that, he doesn't even possess the knowledge to fix anything on a car, the 'mechanical skills' he talks about are nonexistent. he is 31 years old and has never had a drivers license, and with his eyesight I can't imagine he'd even be able to get one.

but lets pretend he could actually manage to get his license and save enough to buy a drivable vehicle, it could be a good goal for himself. if he could just save some of the money he gets sent instead of immediately blowing it on booze and $45 door dash food hacks then it isn't unrealistic that he could save like $2000 to buy some beater off fb marketplace (ignore the cost of insurance/registration/etc we're just pretending). I believe he could accumulate that in a couple months of ebegging, but he has shown numerous times he just burns through that money. he made like $300 in a stream not too long ago that's like 15% of a car, sell a few shitty wands and ebeg some more and eventually you've got a car but in his mind 'saving for a car' is such a big impossible thing so he doesn't see it that way.

realistically though, even if a miracle happened and he got a license and car, he'd end up in the DUI speedrun hall of fame.

we also got some deep wand lore. take notes here folks, these are the words of a true master in the art of wandmaking.
opal.png
 
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crying and shidding said:
we've cycled back to talking about wanting a car. he wants a 'project car to work on' but we all know that would never work out. he doesn't ride his bike anymore because it's broken and he's done nothing whatsoever to fix it, so even if he did manage to buy a car it would just sit and rot in his apartment parking lot, or he'd sell it for $300 in scrap or whatever. beyond that, he doesn't even possess the knowledge to fix anything on a car, the 'mechanical skills' he talks about are nonexistent. he is 31 years old and has never had a drivers license, and with his eyesight I can't imagine he'd even be able to get one.

but lets pretend he could actually manage to get his license and save enough to buy a drivable vehicle, it could be a good goal for himself. if he could just save some of the money he gets sent instead of immediately blowing it on booze and $45 door dash food hacks then it isn't unrealistic that he could save like $2000 to buy some beater off fb marketplace (ignore the cost of insurance/registration/etc we're just pretending). I believe he could accumulate that in a couple months of ebegging, but he has shown numerous times he just burns through that money. he made like $300 in a stream not too long ago that's like 15% of a car, sell a few shitty wands and ebeg some more and eventually you've got a car but in his mind 'saving for a car' is such a big impossible thing so he doesn't see it that way.

realistically though, even if a miracle happened and he got a license and car, he'd end up in the DUI speedrun hall of fame.
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Josh is just too fucked up on a mental and physical level right now to aspire to anything positive, no matter the scope
 
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youtu.be

my wand

CashApp $KingCobra666420https://paypal.me/KingCobra666420?locale.x=en_UShttps://www.customizedgirl.com/s/KingCobrahttps://grondyke-soap-company.myshopify.com...
youtu.be youtu.be

This is the most absurd and retarded she’s sounded in a long time. Must have gotten hooked up with some good bud. I hope he keeps it up “lost in his imagination making up nonsensical magical bullshit like an 11 year old” is my favorite cobra mind state

C0CE7739-02D1-46CC-A1EA-106BC3ADB2CC.jpeg
- Cobra explaining the $2 glass bead he glued to the bottom of a lathed stick
 
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crying and shidding said:
we've cycled back to talking about wanting a car. he wants a 'project car to work on' but we all know that would never work out. he doesn't ride his bike anymore because it's broken and he's done nothing whatsoever to fix it, so even if he did manage to buy a car it would just sit and rot in his apartment parking lot, or he'd sell it for $300 in scrap or whatever. beyond that, he doesn't even possess the knowledge to fix anything on a car, the 'mechanical skills' he talks about are nonexistent. he is 31 years old and has never had a drivers license, and with his eyesight I can't imagine he'd even be able to get one.

but lets pretend he could actually manage to get his license and save enough to buy a drivable vehicle, it could be a good goal for himself. if he could just save some of the money he gets sent instead of immediately blowing it on booze and $45 door dash food hacks then it isn't unrealistic that he could save like $2000 to buy some beater off fb marketplace (ignore the cost of insurance/registration/etc we're just pretending). I believe he could accumulate that in a couple months of ebegging, but he has shown numerous times he just burns through that money. he made like $300 in a stream not too long ago that's like 15% of a car, sell a few shitty wands and ebeg some more and eventually you've got a car but in his mind 'saving for a car' is such a big impossible thing so he doesn't see it that way.

realistically though, even if a miracle happened and he got a license and car, he'd end up in the DUI speedrun hall of fame.
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He is too blind to drive.

I have no clue who would give him a drivers license either. He’d have to pass a written a test, which I doubt he could. I’d pay money to see him doing the road test — if he could sober up enough to drive. Not too mention he couldn’t pay for the gas or insurance on it.

I’d love to see content of him driving though
 
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Rope Salesman said:
He is too blind to drive.

I have no clue who would give him a drivers license either. He’d have to pass a written a test, which I doubt he could. I’d pay money to see him doing the road test — if he could sober up enough to drive. Not too mention he couldn’t pay for the gas or insurance on it.

I’d love to see content of him driving though
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You'd be surprised. I had to take a road test 2 years ago, and the woman in front of me had failed 3 times that day. She was screaming at the testing dude, and he said he would give her another shot after he was done with me. We came back and as I was leaving, the dude was running through the brake light check and she hit the gas instead of the brake, almost pancaked the guy, He still took her out for another go. The dmv is not a known for its intelligent staff. I do agree seeing the gothic badboy blowing through stop signs and careening all over the road would be damn funny, Just think about him trying to change stoplights with his painted stick while screaming GODDAMNIT, that was the last car I had, then telling whatever poor soul he's t boned "leave me alone dude I'm autistic".

TL:DR Cobra driving would be funny but dangerous for anyone near him.
 
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Rope Salesman said:
He is too blind to drive.

I have no clue who would give him a drivers license either. He’d have to pass a written a test, which I doubt he could. I’d pay money to see him doing the road test — if he could sober up enough to drive. Not too mention he couldn’t pay for the gas or insurance on it.

I’d love to see content of him driving though
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"I drive car"
 
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