Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

['Ole Dente]

Even if he did really lose him, trolls will never stop accusing him of killing puff now

Either way he’s killed the thing. If not by some redditor fantasy of Cobies braining the lizard for being cute, it’s because he’s been inattentive and irresponsible with the animal the entire time he’s had it. How the fuck do you lose a tank-bound lizard, one of the most sedentary lizards btw, in a one bedroom apartment in winter? You don’t. It dies because you keep touching it with your filthy boglim hands, you keep dead worms in it’s cage for weeks and you’re the most irresponsible dingleberry on the planet.

 

[RollingRock2]

Coming to an Etsy shop near you

 

[Axiom.]

F to Caspers bearded dragon

I have a beardie. How the FUCK do you lose a bearded dragon- they move less than a fucking tortoise on average.
They're more than happy to just sit in a nice hot spot for most of the time, unless food is in sight.
Only way Cobes could have "lost" Puff outside is if he let him out of the tank, put him outside and he ran off, which is unlikely.
Bearded dragons are cold blooded- they require heat to move around effectively. A cold dragon is a sluggish, docile dragon. It is ~40-50 degrees in Casper right now.
Still, he could have dashed off while still warm from being inside. Beardies are scared of birds, so in general they get spooked when anything is directly overhead.
A ceiling fan, or just someone moving their hand above a bearded dragon's head is enough to spook one.

Silver lining is that like most reptiles, beardies will not usually go far if they escape their tank.
Most likely, Puff is still inside, and has found a secluded spot in the bogcave to curl up and try to stay warm.
However, if Puff is outside, he is cold, lost and will not survive long.

Fuck I'm MATI. Who gave Cobes a real animal to torture when he can barely take care of himself?
That poor fucking dragon- sad, cold, helpless and alone in the Casper winter.

It was a convicts pet before given to him

 

[PetiteFeet]

GUYS! Cobra didn't lose Puff and Puff didn't make a daring escape from the boglim den. CLEARLY someone STOLE Puffers for scrap metal. TWU

Bets on whether he makes his own Cobra Venom wine or tequila with Puffers or he immortalises the poor creature with enough epoxy for several staves.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

You just know he's pulling a fast one like with the sex dolls being stolen for "metal" inside them. Maybe that ant dream I had was real tmdnwu

 

[Quintus]

Poor little guy. He never stood a chance .

 

[Nod Flenders]

RIP Puff but Cobes is on a train to Rhode Island right now guys. Also Shoenice and the numa numa guy.

Shoenice. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Also, I have a feeling Cobra will be entertaining as fuck on the second season of Fish Tank.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Shoenice. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Also, I have a feeling Cobra will be entertaining as fuck on the second season of Fish Tank.

You know he's trolling right? Cobra has a better chance of waking up not retard than we do seeing Cobra on fishtank.

 

[Fren]

Little Puffers just went for a little stroll around the block, to get some cigarettes, tmdwu.

 

[Namekian George Floyd]

Listen, I think having an animal companion is great and can be good for motivation and your mental health but autismos like Josh should not legally be allowed to own them. You should have to demonstrate that you're capable of taking care of yourself before you can take care of an animal and I really like Cobes and shit but he does not meet this criteria.

 

[Bionicle Enthusiast]

This could easily be a Pixar or DreamWorks movie. I can see it now, a slow fade in touring the Boglim Den in 3d glory. The yellow stained walls. The filthy carpets. Empty bottles of alcohol everywhere backed to a song sang by cobes himself before the camera pans over him owning the trolls on a livestream until we cut to Puff who looks awfully depressed.

The first act would be setting up Puff to escape where he meets a cockroach he initially tried to eat before becoming friends and learning how to live off the land together.

Act 2 would be the struggle for survival where the main antagonist would be a hawk or other bird of prey terrorizing Puff and Roach.

Act 3 would be Puff finding a new home with a loving owner, and Roach (who would have had a fake out death in act 2) showing up in the same house before the credits roll.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Josh has asked that in lieu of flowers, donations can be made in gorilla glue so that Puff can be immortalized on a staff.

At this stage it's more likely he'll just huff the glue. Doing the best he can every day.

 

[The Blue Morpho]

When my friend messaged me that Puff was gone I assumed that the incessant reporting to Animal Services finally struck paydirt. In a way I think its better that Cobra lost/killed his lizard entirely on his own without any interference from trolls. If he could blame his trolls he would externalize his shame and guilt and probably try and get a new lizard immediately to spite them. Now he'll just mope and get extra drunk for a week, and probably never get another pet again. The best possible outcome of this sad occurrence.

I just hope he somehow really did lose Puff and that he is found and taken in by a more responsible pet owner who keeps him permanently. Until he finds a body, that's what I'm going with.

 

[Baroque]

losing a pet sucks if you’re not a psychopath, which cobra isn’t. I feel bad for him, but I also applaud him for choosing a non-mammal to “care” for.

 

[waffle]

You guys are being too negative. With all the bugs in his apartment that thing could live for years. As sweaty and greasy as Cobes always looks I imagine he keeps that place sweltering.

How warm do they need to be? If he kept the place at like 75 and had a couple power bricks or similar heat sources it seems plausible unless they are like from the desert or something and need it truly hot. I've found active lizards in my basement before when it's cold out, but they're native lizards to my area that are fine with relatively low temperatures

 

[An automatic clown]

I bet that animal control officer feels real stupid right about now huh

 

[Captain Ahab]

He’s obviously lying. He has a long history of making up the dumbest scenarios when he’s embarrassed about having done something regarded.

Like when he butchered a sex doll in a fit of incel rage and invented a stunningly regarded scenario where a bunch of methheads broke into his apartment and stole it to sell for scrap.

Or like when he obliterated his phone in a fit of tard rage and claimed a truck run over it?

 

[Bogliacci]

He’s obviously lying. He has a long history of making up the dumbest scenarios when he’s embarrassed about having done something regarded.

Like when he butchered a sex doll in a fit of incel rage and invented a stunningly regarded scenario where a bunch of methheads broke into his apartment and stole it to sell for scrap.

Or like when he obliterated his phone in a fit of tard rage and claimed a truck run over it?
View attachment 5501098

Key difference is that phones and sex dolls dont have legs to scamper around at ludicrous speed (compared to a dusted boglim's reaction speed) so puff very well could have scurried under the fridge or something.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Key difference is that phones and sex dolls dont have legs to scamper around at ludicrous speed (compared to a dusted boglim's reaction speed) so puff very well could have scurried under the fridge or something.

Why would a lizard escape a warm house in the middle of November in fucking Wyoming of all places? Bearded dragons need warmth for survival.

If he lost it, the lizard is hiding in his building. Someone would have said something by now. Either that or someone yoink him, which may or may not be a good thing depending on how Degenerate his neighbors are. Puff may have been sold for meth by now.

 

[Bogliacci]

Why would a lizard escape a warm house in the middle of November in fucking Wyoming of all places? Bearded dragons need warmth for survival.

If he lost it, the lizard is hiding in his building. Someone would have said something by now. Either that or someone yoink him, which may or may not be a good thing depending on how Degenerate his neighbors are. Puff may have been sold for meth by now.

I'm not saying it escaped the apartment, I'm saying it's just crawled under a crack while cobes let him run around on the floor and the boy is too stupid to find him