Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Al Dente Alighieri said:
He finds out it’s actually Puff, tells his son and everyone else it’s another lizard and rehomes it. I don’t think it’s that outlandish
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It was missing for 3 weeks, with an average temperature of 27⁰F and lows below zero in Casper. He did not find Puff, especially not fucking alive lol. Your theory is stupid and baseless.
 
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For those wanting evidence of Josh talking about his dad telling him Alicia killed herself, here is the timestamp: https://youtu.be/xoMbLGuQne4?t=9054
I get that people will question whether this is some weird lie, or an auditory hallucination, but this is where it comes from.
By https://youtu.be/xoMbLGuQne4?t=9269 Cobra is informed by some discord person that Alicia is actually alive. Amazingly, Cobra quickly theorizes that his parents lied to him in order to get him to quit stalking her.
 
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
How is it misinformation? Doesn't he mention this like two-three times on separate livestreams and that leaked discord thing
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Because of what he actually said: he claims his dad told him at his birthday dinner that Alicia killed herself because she was bullied by his trolls but that her parents don’t blame him for her death. that makes literally no fucking sense.

Redditors heard that story and jumped to the retarded conclusion that Clint made up that dumb story to try and convince cobra not to obsess over this girl anymore which makes literally zero sense and then people took those dumb Reddit fan theories at face value and pass it around as fact. If Clint was concerned about cobra stalking this random high school girl and wanted to make up a story to dissuade him why the fuck would he make it about how cobras trolls somehow knew about his high school crush, bullied her to suicide, and that her parents also a) know about cobra b) know about cobras trolls and c) aren’t mad at cobra that his trolls bullied their daughter to suicide.

Not to mention a quick google search from Courtney’s discord goons proved that she was alive and posting. why lie about somebody being dead when literally checking their social media, which cobra was allegedly stalking enough for his dad to lie about her death in the first place according to Reddit, would prove that she was alive and recently active?

What it likely ACTUALLY is, which is ironically more alarming than dumbass Reddit fanfiction, is that cobra is delusional and “remembers” shit that didn’t happen and is entirely in his head. He either imagined it, dreamed it, or hallucinated it or was under the belief that it happened. It’s significantly more alarming and revealing in regards to his state of mind. Not only does cobes obsess over this girl, he has intricate delusions about her involving his parents and nebulous “trolls” and is out of touch with reality. It’s actually much scarier than the Clint theory
 
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Slim Boglim said:
If Clint was concerned about cobra stalking this random high school girl and wanted to make up a story to dissuade him why the fuck would he make it about how cobras trolls somehow knew about his high school crush, bullied her to suicide, and that her parents also a) know about cobra b) know about cobras trolls and c) aren’t mad at cobra that his trolls bullied their daughter to suicide.
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It’s entirely possible this is something Clint said to him and Cobra added the ending himself to stick it to his trolls.
Slim Boglim said:
Not to mention a quick google search from Courtney’s discord goons proved that she was alive and posting. why lie about somebody being dead when literally checking their social media, which cobra was allegedly stalking enough for his dad to lie about her death in the first place according to Reddit, would prove that she was alive and recently active?
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1. He’s retarded.
2. Was probably literally stalking her in high school and he was blocked for doing so on Facebook, which explains why he couldn’t see any activity.

The irony is that both of these theories require a large amount of speculation to fill in the gaps so it’s not worth getting all heated over our own fan fictions.
 
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The most likely scenario is that cobes saw in a youtube video that bearded dragons can drink (very small amounts of) alcohol and ended up thinking in his bog mind that putting a fermented alcoholic slice of mead fruit in Puffs enclosure is a good idea. He found puff dead, made up the story about losing him and only Clint knows the truth. Thats why Clint was sure that the hospital one is not Puff because the real Puff is dead.
 
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Bixby Snyder said:
They are more concerned about some lizard dying than their family member who is on death's door. Have they ever tried an 'intervention' with him? Or they just content seeing him once or twice a year, looking 10 years older and like shit?
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Yeah they did, or at least Clint did. It was on his birthday, I think last year, Cobes turned up to his own birthday meal with his dad massively late and shitfaced drunk, so Clint cancelled on the spot and gave Cobes a piece of his mind. How well did it go? Well for Christmas, Cobes turned up even shitfaced-er and became so belligerent Clint called the cops on his son and he ended up sobering up in the cells. No doubt they had more words after that. Clint tried twice and it had no effect. At this stage I don't blame him for giving up. He has his own life and his other children to be a father to.

Interventions don't work on people like Cobes. He has this autism-fuelled complex that anyone giving him advice is talking down to him or trying to take his independence from him. He resents advice so much he will do the opposite of anything he is advised to do on principle, just to show 'em. Interventions only work on people you have a chance of getting through to, people who have adult levels of emotional maturity and intellectual ability - they need to be able to have the smarts to understand the harm they are doing to others, and the maturity to care about it. Not only does Cobes have the usual problems of overcoming addiction, he has this idiotic defiant streak because he's a literal retard who is stuck at the 14-year-old "fuck you dad, I'm going to make my room extra untidy just to piss you off!" mentality. His brain, even under the best circumstances, was too smooth to move past that stage of emotional development, and that was before he started blitzing it with alcohol and solvents.

People forget what the literal meaning of "retarded" actually is. It means "delayed" or "backwards". Retards get stuck at a pre-adult phase of emotional and/or intellectual development. Cobes got stuck at 14. Cyrax got stuck at about 11. Dan Larson got stuck at about 6. All those people are genetic catastrophes whose brains just didn't develop fully, and never will. You can't explain adult concepts to them because you are interacting with the brain of a child.
 
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The Bradtagonist said:
You guys are retarded if you think this is Puff. There is no great conspiracy to secretly remove Puff from Cobra. Puff is dead.
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fuck off dood! we all saw it
clint.jpg
 
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While the odds of not 1 but 2 different Bearded Dragons running around the lesser Casper, WY area have to be astronomical, let alone one of them being able to survive in that temperature for more than a day. Puff has been missing over 2 weeks at this point I think, and we know he was lost outside, so when his core temp started to drop he probably went into a hibernation like state to try and retain body heat, and probably died shortly after. How this other lizard survived is anyones guess but he might not of been lost for long.
 
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UncommonParlence said:
Seems a nerve was struck with lizard theory. Lol. All I'll say is boglim's law. Whatever may have actually occurred the answer always is "he's retarded".
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The basic idea behind your theory (that Clint would lie to him in order to save the lizard) is reasonable. The problem is that your theory is founded on the notion that his family drove to Josh’s apartment immediately after he lost the lizard and somehow managed to find the creature, outside, in the middle of the night.
 
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