Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Slim Boglim]

**Punching the display phones in the Apple Store while wearing borderline brass knuckle rings**
“They just don’t make them like they used. Steve Jobs would make sure these phones could take a good smack or two”

 

[中华人民共和国的政治]

chillin! we eatin good toobs

edit: rant loop about skygod and missionaries he imagined

edit again: he posted a drunken wendys food review and im sick of seeing the bog today

 

[bathtubcosby]

The night he broke it he created a conspiracy theory that the phone companies were making phones weaker on purpose to scam people

It was the specific website that he bought the phone from. They were sabotaging them. What kind of website sells phones that you can't slam metal into the screen? Wet and juicy for the troll used cellphone website

 

[Slim Boglim]

I love Cobes so much he is just so damn funny. The fact that he can sit there and talk about these missionaries like they’re total lunatics for believing in a “skygod” and how insane they are for it and then smugly declare that he’s the “leader of his own religion” and that he’s a “cobra demon” without any hint of self awareness is just too damn funny

He’s really sitting there all smug like essentially saying the equivalent to “get a load of these goofballs believing in god, can you believe it? Anyway, I’m a Cobra Demon God”

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Dear god beer mixed with vodka. Now that's some of the classic Cobes shit I've missed.

 

[Captain Ahab]

He sure owned those two missionaries who had to go to the ultra low income housing units because they lost a bet

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

At least he's making videos during his vodka bender. His drunk fast food reviews are underrated kino.

 

[Slim Boglim]

At least he's making videos during his vodka bender. His drunk fast food reviews are underrated kino.

Cobes has different levels of fucked up much like there’s “white girl wasted” His max level is “GG Allin Corpse”. First time I’ve ever seen food bring him to that level, must have been some killer Wendy’s

Edit: loot at it it’s fuckin uncanny

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Cobes has different levels of fucked up much like there’s “white girl wasted” His max level is “GG Allin Corpse”. First time I’ve ever seen food bring him to that level, must have been some killer Wendy’s

Almost as good as the drunk Craves review from a few years ago.

"The garlic curd large"
"Cheesy bites.... for the garlic empire"
*gets confused and rips open the styrofoam container*

 

[Slim Boglim]

The best (and first) time he ever god GG Allin corpse wasted was the absolute banger “beer challange” stream where by the end he’s passed out holding a beer and wheezing and choking on spit till he turns purple and darfliny snores next to him.

Fucking look at this and compare it to the GG corpse in my previous post. Glorious.

 

['Ole Dente]

I love the entire psychological process he goes through when he completely fucks himself over.

Step 1: He admits that it’s his fault, that he clearly has a problem that causes a lot of his grief and that he could stand to work on it more.

Step 2: He tries to partially shift the blame by blaming anybody but himself.

Step 3: Which eventually becomes outright lying (When we don’t see him do it) or resorting to crafting some elaborate story for why he’s completely without fault (When we do see him do it, either immediately or the next day.) He just lies to himself and everybody and totally believes it.

It’s nice to see this version of Step 3 because he has to lie on the spot and when he has no time to craft something slightly believable he makes up the most retarded shit possible and it is GREAT

 

[Bogliacci]

The best (and first) time he ever god GG Allin corpse wasted was the absolute banger “beer challange” stream where by the end he’s passed out holding a beer and wheezing and choking on spit till he turns purple and darfliny snores next to him.

Fucking look at this and compare it to the GG corpse in my previous post. Glorious. View attachment 5646789

Jord's gourd was as purple as a plum during this lmao

 

[GoingUnder]

Wow He Looks Identical To My Ex

 

[Mr. Manchester]

The best (and first) time he ever god GG Allin corpse wasted was the absolute banger “beer challange” stream where by the end he’s passed out holding a beer and wheezing and choking on spit till he turns purple and darfliny snores next to him.

Fucking look at this and compare it to the GG corpse in my previous post. Glorious. View attachment 5646789

My favorite part is Darf's leg in the corner complete with the patriotic pants. I miss Darf a lot but it's best for him to stay the hell away from Cobra because if he ended up in that apartment he'd be force fed bog wine. At this point Josh wants someone to try that sludge so bad he might let Warlord crawl back inside.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Jord's gourd was as purple as a plum during this lmao

It was the only time I felt a tinge of concern in one of his live streams the way he was deeply wheezing and then just not taking a breath and drooling on himself. And then the dog collar straight up cutting into his neck. Fucking hilarious to look back on now but in the moment it was a little worrying

 

[Bogliacci]

It was the only time I felt a tinge of concern in one of his live streams the way he was deeply wheezing and then just not taking a breath and drooling on himself. And then the dog collar straight up cutting into his neck. Fucking hilarious to look back on now but in the moment it was a little worrying

Honestly it's weird how he hasn't had something similar happen when he just slips into sleepy stupor on stream, it just seems to be this one instance with darf.

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

It didn't happen. The story Southwest Strangla is thinking of was Josh finding an injured bird and running it over with his bike because it was painfully dying from injuries. A literal mercy kill of a dying injured animal. Through a game of telephone that turned into "Josh was smashing birds for fun with a tire iron!" this is exactly how the pedo rumors started.

What injuries was bird dying of?

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Did anyone else notice the chunks of glass flying off his phone when he beat it up? It's probably still on his floor because there's no way he vacuumed that up. Potential foot infection coming in nicely toobz.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

What injuries was bird dying of?

I attempted to dig through the archives to find his exact words so I could give you a more detailed answer but couldn't find it (the archives only go back to 2017) but the gist of the story was he was out riding his bike, found a injured bird that was basically lying on the ground dying and ran it over to put it out of it's misery. I saw the video years ago and vaguely remember the basics of it but any details about injuries are lost.

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

I attempted to dig through the archives to find his exact words so I could give you a more detailed answer but couldn't find it (the archives only go back to 2017) but the gist of the story was he was out riding his bike, found a injured bird that was basically lying on the ground dying and ran it over to put it out of it's misery. I saw the video years ago and vaguely remember the basics of it but any details about injuries are lost.

I thought he found it in the parking lot of Wendy's before or after a shift. Also, I could've sworn he said some shit about thinking it fell out of it's nest, the veterinarian that he is deemed the bird a lost cause, and he "squished" it backing over it with his "chopper." For some reason that last detail I feel I've recalled correctly, because I remember it being weird that he would back over the thing. I'm an alcoholic too, so my brain is probably fried worse than his.