Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

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That sexy goth bad boy who flexes on the trolls and eats tacos like an apple smells good

The hat looks like a pirate's tricorn at this point.

Captain Cobra of the Clocktower Mansion.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Ugh... alcohol pregnant, not even once.

Monthly thread reminder there is no evidence Josh has FAS but there is evidence he has the exact same fucked up frog face as his biological mother Laura. Look at this shit it's uncanny

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

https://youtu.be/wU1Yn-hSIeQ?si=-VzQFpZtceNHoLFP

Was curious about how much he's paying to customize these two $2.99 items. +$6.38 per item just in add ons.

Spoiler: Add ons

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It's gotta be hard for the taco bell employee to fit all of this shit into 1 taco while still making room for the complimentary boogers and spit.

Edit: forgot the guacamole +$0.49

>not adding in refried beans, literally their best item.

smh, bog really doesnt know how to order good food.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Monthly thread reminder there is no evidence Josh has FAS but there is evidence he has the exact same fucked up frog face as his biological mother Laura. Look at this shit it's uncanny
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Of all the fanfiction people come up with the fas theories are the worst. Two big signs called out for fas are having an abnormally small head and thin lips. Also a smooth philtrum which was usually hidden by a mustache but in the latest video where he’s unshaven you can clearly see not only does he have a defined philtrum but it’s so defined he looks like a chimp

Because, of course, the two things about cobra’s appearance he’s well known for are his thin lips and small head

Not to mention Clint was adamant that his mother wasn’t drinking. Why would Clint, who is famous for looking for any excuse under the son to shirk responsibility for how cobra turned out, lie about it? Certainly not to defend his ex wife who he repeatedly calls out as being mentally unwell and an unfit mother and certainly not so Josh doesn’t look bad since he can’t help but wax poetic about what a disgusting unhygienic autistic retard he is to anybody who asks. It’s just another instance of people making up shit/choosing to believe things because they would be funny regardless of how unlikely it actually is.

Which is fine, there’s nothing wrong with speculating or making up funny ideas but it’s problematic when it gets passed around as factual proven info because newcomers then believe that’s the reality of it. Is people mistaking believing he has fas that big a deal? No. But letting it slide leads to people letting it slide when people exaggerate and make up shit like “oh he went out looking for baby birds he can stomp because he’s an unhinged psychopath” and then next thing you know you have newcomers coming in thinking he’s this proto-Jefferey dahmer and they have to mass flag his channel to delete it and save the harmless animals of Wyoming

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Of all the fanfiction people come up with the fas theories are the worst. Two big signs called out for fas are having an abnormally small head and thin lips. Also a smooth philtrum which was usually hidden by a mustache but in the latest video where he’s unshaven you can clearly see not only does he have a defined philtrum but it’s so defined he looks like a chimp
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People want to believe the FAS theory because it's more interesting than Laura just being too mentally ill to take care of Josh. His lips alone are so cartoonishly large it disproves FAS. A thin upper lip is the hallmark of fetal alcohol syndrome. Josh has massive dick sucking lips

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

People want to believe the FAS theory because it's more interesting than Laura just being too mentally ill to take care of Josh. His lips alone are so cartoonishly large it disproves FAS. A thin upper lip is the hallmark of fetal alcohol syndrome. Josh has massive dick sucking lips
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The late Hapsburgs, 1700-1830.

 

[rexxon_tillerson]

So he mentioned receiving his youtube money days ago, bought plenty of fast food and beer since then, but no mention of ordering a new phone? I'm sure he's just being lazy, but I also wonder if he just doesn't want a new phone.

I don't think any of his January streams before breaking the phone had superchat enabled, so he's likely getting nothing from toobs next month. Incoming $500 valentines wand 4 pack coming soon.

Dude hes removed the one thing in his life constantly yelling at him and expecting him to respond to it. cobes is fundamentally lazy and by avoiding getting a new phone puts off his responsibilities as capser's leading goth badboy

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Cobes is a white man with a bad case of the black man's lips.

 

[Slim Boglim]

People want to believe the FAS theory because it's more interesting than Laura just being too mentally ill to take care of Josh. His lips alone are so cartoonishly large it disproves FAS. A thin upper lip is the hallmark of fetal alcohol syndrome. Josh has massive dick sucking lips
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Sometimes I take for granted just how completely fucked he looks. He is truly a specimen like no other. He looks like a particularity botched attempt at an AI generating a human image. If you presented that collage to somebody as the results of a failed attempt at using Dall-E they’d believe it. I want to train an AI on only Cobes images for what humans look like and Cobes quotes for what humans speak like and let it rip to see what it makes

 

[UncommonParlence]

People want to believe the FAS theory because it's more interesting than Laura just being too mentally ill to take care of Josh. His lips alone are so cartoonishly large it disproves FAS. A thin upper lip is the hallmark of fetal alcohol syndrome. Josh has massive dick sucking lips
View attachment 5677972

Dude. That first image. Lol. All the other images. Lmao. Fucking lip/neck flex to showcase his "muscles". Lmfao. I love this ninja turtle looking motherfucker.

 

[chimpSculpture]

Cobes getting really emotional and almost crying to a fan-made Harry Potter video, equating his life to Professor Snape:

The video he's talking about:

 

[Bogliacci]

Cobes getting really emotional and almost crying to a fan-made Harry Potter video, equating his life to Professor Snape:

The video he's talking about:

I really hope someone archived that before he deleted...

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

Cobes getting really emotional and almost crying to a fan-made Harry Potter video, equating his life to Professor Snape:

The alternate universe I wish we got involves him working his dream job of making wands and larping as Voldemort in his free time, was debating adding text but the implication of the conversation is already very funny:

This was a good video unironically, I'd love if nothing else to see him drunkenly explain the Harry Potter books (incorrectly might I add, I haven't read the books but even I know some of the details were wrong lmao) - I'd just love it even more if it was done live.

 

[The Blue Morpho]

I hope Cobra never gets another phone so the redditors and discord faggots constantly messaging and calling him kill themselves out of boredom or w/e.

 

[chimpSculpture]

I really hope someone archived that before he deleted...

He deleted the video a few hours later, here it is:

Spoiler: Archive

Had to split it :/

Scorpion has already got a copy on his channel:

 

[中华人民共和国的政治]

Edit: Watched the whole vidyer, I figure he deleted it because of the sicko fantasy session he had halfway in talking about torturing the troles with dementors and basilisk venom?

 

[Hennimore]

It's the little things Jord does that give me life. Like him starting a video only to immediately get up and leave the room because he forgot his wand.

 

[bonified retard]

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Edit: Watched the whole vidyer, I figure he deleted it because of the sicko fantasy session he had halfway in talking about torturing the troles with dementors and basilisk venom?

I figured it's because he's literally crying about how a fan made Harry Potter video reminds him of his high school crush, after NAL has been freaking out about him bringing up other girls recently.

 

[The Blue Morpho]

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Edit: Watched the whole vidyer, I figure he deleted it because of the sicko fantasy session he had halfway in talking about torturing the troles with dementors and basilisk venom?

Probably just him feeling he needed to re-emphasize his masculinity after being brought to tears by a girly Snape-thirst Harry Potter "AMV."

 

[Hennimore]

He is cycling emotions so fucking rapidly. One second he is trying not to cry over a Harry Potter AMV and the next he is putting on that fake psycho smile as he imagines what he would do to the troles if Harry Potter was real and then back to crying again.
I wonder what movie he saw as a kid that gave him that sociopath side of his personality that he so badly wants people to believe is real. You can just see his brain cycling through feeling miserable for himself and trying to repress sicko fantasies running through his head.