Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[The Judean People's Front]

I kinda feel for the oldschool Cobra viewers because so far this does seem to be like a new season of your favorite show where the writers decided to go in an edgy new direction. But as a newcomer who just read the thread, I think Jessica is hilarious. She's absolutely vile, sure, and maybe as a woman I have a higher tolerance for lady-ick, but I find nearly all the female cows absolutely vile. The point is to watch and laugh, not be angry. You guys prob don't like female cows, period (no pun intended, but lol)

Josh is an adult, doods. He has the right to make terrible decisions because of sex just like every other adult. Clint might say he has the mentality of an 11 or 12 year old, but honestly, so far, he's handled himself well here, as far as I can see. He has steadfastly told her that she cannot move in. He's not streaming on his channel while she's there to avoid losing his channel. So far, he's gotten a maid that also fucks him - granted, she looks like that, but still. I don't think this has been a net loss for Josh.

As with any other cow, if you can't laugh - maybe take a break?

 

[Deez Nuts]

I know this is a wildly unpopular opinion but I can’t be the only one. There’s got to be at least one of you sickos who agrees. Anybody else out there like what Jessica adds to the content and wants her to stick around? I actually want her to move in and live with Cobes. Reason being that it won’t last forever and in the meantime it’d be a wild ride

I’m really puzzled by the people who want her to go away asap and stop being around or showing up or being in Josh’s life. This is an era where there’s something notable new or interesting happening frequently. There’s been more interesting or noteworthy shit happening in these few months than there had been in the past two or three years and even then the only notable things were the occasional drunk freak out or his arrest.

Between those big blowups fuck all was happening and it was constant complaining from the majority of people about how his content was stale, boring, predictable and mostly not worth watching. Now there’s a ton of new shit going down, it’s hard to predict what’ll happen, we get live streams of Cobes apartment when normally he wouldn’t be live and people are like “boo I hate this I want it to stop!” Like damn make up your minds? People complain shits stale and nothing happens and then when things happen people complain things are happening and want it to stop.

And then there’s Jessica everybody bitches that she’s a gross, insane, annoying, and awful person they can’t stand. Yeah, man you’re watching lolcow shit! It’s like going out to eat at Red Lobster and bitching that there’s seafood on the menu. What do you want to watch instead a sane and reasonable person who behaves in a sensible manner?

Why are so many people following lolcow shit when they seem to be lolctose intolerant?

I don’t mind her being around but her streams are just terrible. Half of it is muted dead air. If it’s not dead air it’s her in the fucking bathroom or closeups of her face as she screeches at chat. It’s just bad. I think the reason she doesn’t have her own thread is her content is so hard to watch.

 

[Grape Garden]

You can't just float any ol' crazy by me. I can see the likes of jessica here in my home town, we hundreds of them wandering the streets.
I couldn't find a Cobes here. Only one Cobes, and the show is being watered down.

True, there is nothing unique about how batshit Jessica is, the only difference between her and hundreds of others is she is online showing it to everyone. I've seen worse too, but there has only been one Cobes.

 

[中华人民共和国的政治]

brain scratchers coming in nicely

 

[Captain Ahab]

But she barely knows any Ozzy songs, toobz.

To be fair, neither does Cobes

 

[Heydrich]

What would Puffers have thought of Jessica?

 

[Chongqing]

Only one more page TWU

 

[ADHD]

I mean this is his most interesting saga in awhile but ever since Jessica’s fight with her parents my tolerance for her went down the drain.

I get that, but that just goes to show that people watch for different reasons, because that stream is the kind of content I will drop everything to tune in for.

I don’t mind her being around but her streams are just terrible. Half of it is muted dead air. If it’s not dead air it’s her in the fucking bathroom or closeups of her face as she screeches at chat.

And it's always a toss up of what you'll get, too. Sometimes a stream that would appear to have no entertainment potential ends up being amazing when she ends up having mega tantrum, and streams that look to be promising (i.e. rum) end up not lasting long because she gets blackout drunk and passes out very early on.

 

[Bobuno]

What would Puffers have thought of Jessica?

He'd of thought this weird dumpy thing feeds more more than the boglim, it cleans and dusts my place too! TMDWU! But she'd probably end up drowning him in a drunk bathtub stream if he was still around.

 

[Potion_Time]

Only one more page TWU

Proof positive that Cobes is a white supremacist bigot. SMH.

 

[ADHD]

NAL just went live very very briefly.

I have no idea what was said to make her ragequit so fast, but I was able to download it before she removed it. She is already in a very foul mood.

She's back on a new stream with the chat disabled. I'm very curious of all these solo "homemaker" streams and why she's in such a bad mood when she's visiting her boyfriend. The whole vibe from the last visit is very different.

And she just bashed her head on the corner of his cabinet so I'm sure that will help things immensely!

 

[cigarettesalsa]

She's literally Lucas Werner when he was in the relationship with that old lady. I cook, I clean, I'm plenty good.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

what the fuck is going on in his boglim mind.

 

[Tetragrammaton]

I know this is a wildly unpopular opinion but I can’t be the only one. There’s got to be at least one of you sickos who agrees. Anybody else out there like what Jessica adds to the content and wants her to stick around? I actually want her to move in and live with Cobes. Reason being that it won’t last forever and in the meantime it’d be a wild ride

I’m really puzzled by the people who want her to go away asap and stop being around or showing up or being in Josh’s life. This is an era where there’s something notable new or interesting happening frequently. There’s been more interesting or noteworthy shit happening in these few months than there had been in the past two or three years and even then the only notable things were the occasional drunk freak out or his arrest.

Between those big blowups fuck all was happening and it was constant complaining from the majority of people about how his content was stale, boring, predictable and mostly not worth watching. Now there’s a ton of new shit going down, it’s hard to predict what’ll happen, we get live streams of Cobes apartment when normally he wouldn’t be live and people are like “boo I hate this I want it to stop!” Like damn make up your minds? People complain shits stale and nothing happens and then when things happen people complain things are happening and want it to stop.

And then there’s Jessica everybody bitches that she’s a gross, insane, annoying, and awful person they can’t stand. Yeah, man you’re watching lolcow shit! It’s like going out to eat at Red Lobster and bitching that there’s seafood on the menu. What do you want to watch instead a sane and reasonable person who behaves in a sensible manner?

Why are so many people following lolcow shit when they seem to be lolctose intolerant?

i have very mixed feelings about jessica. i think she is an overall awful person and a stay in a psych ward would do her wonders. i am also not a big fan of how shes doing everything in her power to filter all of the cobra viewers over to herself. it just feels like her whole goal is to steal both his fans and his trolls so all the attention is always on herself and nobody else.

that being said i would be lying if i said things have not been way more eventful since she showed up. we have seen more from her visits than we would have ever seen otherwise and she does have her moments like when she managed to break the apartments washing machines or when she was roaming the streets in the middle of the night to buy internet.

combine that with all the other stuff that is known about her and shes pretty much her own brand of lolcow or maybe horrorcow. the thing for me is that while jessica has had some positives she is essentially the equivalent to a time bomb. sooner or later shes going to go off and no amount of tactical soap will save josh from that explosion.

i think that is what many of the people who dislike jessica can tell as well. shes going to do something sooner or later that is going to fuck over josh so tremendously that he might actually get hurt or thrown into a situation that is no longer funny and more so just sad.

so while i do think josh could use some form of side character that encourages him to go outside more often and spices up the content a little bit. i do not think that person should be jessica. she is a plague that is best avoided if at all possible.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Those are all very compelling reasons. I still think I personally like her content and her being there but I can definitely better understand why people don’t. Maybe I’m an optimist I don’t think there’s some major scheme or conspiracy Jessica is running behind the scenes to fuck Cobes over and I don’t think any major fallout will happen when things run their course and inevitably come to an end. I think if anything Cobes will get bored or annoyed and put up with her until she goes back home and break up with her over long distance and she just won’t visit again. She’ll rant in her own channel until she finds a new man and Cobes will occasionally bring her up and talk shit while saying he’s not talking shit.

Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’ll go the way of the people who were adamant Chris Chan would never assault somebody only for him to turn around and rape his mother. Maybe this will age just as poorly and people will come to this exact comment to call me a clown and share Cobes obituary after Jessica kills him by ambushing him in the shower and stabbing him 34 times. Who knows.

I know her pussy smells like Wendy’s but I think Jessica is like a McRib. Here for a limited time, not particularly good, but something you enjoy because fuck it, it’s something new and different than the regular menu items and you don’t know how long it’ll be around and if or when it’ll be back.

 

[Down From The Champions]

TWU

 

[Racist Parrot]

No blow job can ever be good enough to fucking deal with that trainwreck.

 

[SupremeGuntleman]

I think if anything Cobes will get bored or annoyed and put up with her until she goes back home and break up with her over long distance and she just won’t visit again.

I think it's very clear at this point she has no intention of going back, that's why she mailed her shit to his place and is cleaning everything up.

 

[Slim Boglim]

I think it's very clear at this point she has no intention of going back, that's why she mailed her shit to his place and is cleaning everything up.

Then he’ll give her the warlord treatment

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

To be fair, neither does Cobes

"What's my favorite Ozzy song? I like them all."

Cobes channeling Michael Bolton from Office Space.