Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[The Blast of Us]

Another visit? Jessica is going to try to stay.

the king can't relax. the current situation is blatantly untenable. if this is where the squeeze starts she gawwwwn, Cobes is patient and has tactical soap.

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

I honestly wonder if Jessica has ever spent time in a psychiatric hospital.

Her parents must be in their late sixties/early seventies. They're too old to have to put up with her shit.

 

[Goatchoker]

I honestly wonder if Jessica has ever spent time in a psychiatric hospital.

Her parents must be in their late sixties/early seventies. They're too old to have to put up with her shit.

I really want to know as well. Do we have a thread on her yet? Or should we start writing an OP?

She scares me, like I’d avoid her actively if she lived near me. Weird dark energy. I think she makes him uncomfortable as well but she’s playing that weird gross caring gf shit to sneak her way into his place full time.

Next arc could be “I need a place to stay or I’m homelessssssss!” or some dramatics to weasel her way in asap.

 

[Grape Garden]

Another visit? Jessica is going to try to stay.

My theory as well. She will try to stay, but I don't feel Cobes wants her to. He had a momentary sperg after he found out she did his laundry and washed his sheets. Props to her for trying to make it all homey and stuff, but Cobes doesn't care about that, he doesn't even do it himself. Jessica has to play this differently if she wants to stay, Josh isn't like the typical slime balls she probably gets where cooking, cleaning and sucking dick daily would impress most other dudes in her caliber, but it doesn't even phase him she does anything. She copies everything about him, his sayings, the way he talks and laugh, what he finds funny. But she barely knows any Ozzy songs, toobz. And she will never be Ellen.

Having two back to back visits from an of age has his ego flared up now. I feel he will probably break it off after Jessica goes back. She's not "kicked out". I don't care what her parents say I'm sure that stunt of hers is a weekly occurrence, and out of guilt or whatever parents feel for their misbegotten spawn is the reason she is let back in. My parents would "kick me out" too but just lock me out of the house for a weekend when I was a shit head as a teen, so I would just stay at friends. But she has no friends and she's 40 fucking years old. I mean if she does go back and can't go home we will get crazy streams of her living in the airport. She goes back, has another freak out and I bet that fuels Josh to just break things off. He will go on a voluntary dry spell and brag about how much self control he has and patience will help him snag another. And of course, the Tactical Soap. Which I think most of us would welcome that...yeah this is unhinged shit but I think the fascination of what stupid shit Jessica will do is over, and its now just annoying/terrifying to see her, he doesn't stream so he's losing money. Those arm-cross pout streams are going to come in nicely when she's gone.

Something in the back of my mind when I get reminded Clint still exists, I wonder if he is hoping that Josh gets so caught up with Jessica that he can just wash his hands of him, be like hey you got your own life now, bud, time to set you free. So he doesn't have to worry about shit with Josh, he has other kids. But I also don't know if Clint benefits from wranglin'? I've heard various things from tax stuff to pocketing some of his SSI. To see Josh fully free would mean him and Jessica homeless around Casper in a month. But just a thought I have sometimes.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Another visit? Jessica is going to try to stay.

She already “gifted” Josh her dishes and glasses, and her parents want to kick her out. Yeah, she’s planning to stay. Josh better talk to his landlord before she moves in

 

[FatalTater]

Has Jessica been seen flirting with any other people in Josh's social circle?
Usually how this sort of thing goes, the crazy bitch will try to get with others in the group in order to be allowed to stay nearby when their main target gets fed up.
Watch for it if it hasn't happened yet.

 

[Lolcow Rodeo Clown]

This is why I think cobes doesn't actually listen to music. He likes the idea as an identity, but he likely rarely listens to music or he could compose something that at least kind of makes sense, just through mimicry.

I've noticed this too. He tries so hard to be edgy and rebellious but he latches on to the biggest bandwagon pop culture staples there are: The Beatles, Johnny Cash, Elvis, etc. Also, whichever singer/performer that most recently died is his favorite: Tom Petty, Meatloaf, etc. Notice none of these are remotely "goth" or "metal". He's giving you his impression of what he thinks those things are filtered through his addled, wet brain. When he sings along with music on his headphones he thinks he sounds like what he hears in the headphones, not what the rest of us hear.

Thanks to @clipartfan92

This is probably the most damning thing Aron has said about underaged children. It's pretty funny knowing the people who openly hate cobra are sickos themselves. Fuck sickos toobz

Why would you fire up a camera connected to the internet and make these words come out of your face??? I don't get it. What was the logic?

 

[Tortoise Appreciator]

My boy absolutely MOGGS that reddit faggot pooner looking twink.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

Why would you fire up a camera connected to the internet and make these words come out of your face??? I don't get it. What was the logic?

Like many of the sickos on KiwiFarms, it's just ironyposting

edit: I dunno. Could be either genuine attraction or he's retarded from the stroke

 

[whogoesthere]

I've noticed this too. He tries so hard to be edgy and rebellious but he latches on to the biggest bandwagon pop culture staples there are: The Beatles, Johnny Cash, Elvis, etc. Also, whichever singer/performer that most recently died is his favorite: Tom Petty, Meatloaf, etc. Notice none of these are remotely "goth" or "metal". He's giving you his impression of what he thinks those things are filtered through his addled, wet brain. When he sings along with music on his headphones he thinks he sounds like what he hears in the headphones, not what the rest of us hear.

Same with guitar, he is a poor player, very poor. But in his head he is Randy with the tapping (which is about the easiest thing to do, at that level anyway). His music is fucking insane. Its not out of time, he doesn't appear to even understand the concept of time or tempo. Its very strange to hear his music, not just the mish mash of timbre going on, the complete lack of any tone, the fucked up previously mentioned tempo.

I would love to hear him just make a complete song on his own, no more stealing tracks from other people. Just to hear if we can gain some insight to what the fuck is going on in his boglim mind.

 

[hector85]

This is quite the story.

They'd probably A-log the shit out of King Cobra like a lot of redditors A-log Darksydephil for the dumbest reasons.

as someone who has followed dsp for 10+ years i can say he does NOT get fucked with anywhere near as much as other cows. like the most recent thing was people were using VPNs to gift his 3 channels 50 memberships at a time for like $2.50. aside from that there was some tard who called into his bankruptcy, hearing, someone who got called bank of america and got his transaction history, and a couple pictures of dsp and his wife in the wild and all this was all over the last 5 years.

 

[Slim Boglim]

I know this is a wildly unpopular opinion but I can’t be the only one. There’s got to be at least one of you sickos who agrees. Anybody else out there like what Jessica adds to the content and wants her to stick around? I actually want her to move in and live with Cobes. Reason being that it won’t last forever and in the meantime it’d be a wild ride

I’m really puzzled by the people who want her to go away asap and stop being around or showing up or being in Josh’s life. This is an era where there’s something notable new or interesting happening frequently. There’s been more interesting or noteworthy shit happening in these few months than there had been in the past two or three years and even then the only notable things were the occasional drunk freak out or his arrest.

Between those big blowups fuck all was happening and it was constant complaining from the majority of people about how his content was stale, boring, predictable and mostly not worth watching. Now there’s a ton of new shit going down, it’s hard to predict what’ll happen, we get live streams of Cobes apartment when normally he wouldn’t be live and people are like “boo I hate this I want it to stop!” Like damn make up your minds? People complain shits stale and nothing happens and then when things happen people complain things are happening and want it to stop.

And then there’s Jessica everybody bitches that she’s a gross, insane, annoying, and awful person they can’t stand. Yeah, man you’re watching lolcow shit! It’s like going out to eat at Red Lobster and bitching that there’s seafood on the menu. What do you want to watch instead a sane and reasonable person who behaves in a sensible manner?

Why are so many people following lolcow shit when they seem to be lolctose intolerant?

 

[Hennimore]

I know this is a wildly unpopular opinion but I can’t be the only one. There’s got to be at least one of you sickos who agrees. Anybody else out there like what Jessica adds to the content and wants her to stick around? I actually want her to move in and live with Cobes. Reason being that it won’t last forever and in the meantime it’d be a wild ride

I’m really puzzled by the people who want her to go away asap and stop being around or showing up or being in Josh’s life. This is an era where there’s something notable new or interesting happening frequently. There’s been more interesting or noteworthy shit happening in these few months than there had been in the past two or three years and even then the only notable things were the occasional drunk freak out or his arrest.

Between those big blowups fuck all was happening and it was constant complaining from the majority of people about how his content was stale, boring, predictable and mostly not worth watching. Now there’s a ton of new shit going down, it’s hard to predict what’ll happen, we get live streams of Cobes apartment when normally he wouldn’t be live and people are like “boo I hate this I want it to stop!” Like damn make up your minds? People complain shits stale and nothing happens and then when things happen people complain things are happening and want it to stop.

And then there’s Jessica everybody bitches that she’s a gross, insane, annoying, and awful person they can’t stand. Yeah, man you’re watching lolcow shit! It’s like going out to eat at Red Lobster and bitching that there’s seafood on the menu. What do you want to watch instead a sane and reasonable person who behaves in a sensible manner?

Why are so many people following lolcow shit when they seem to be lolctose intolerant?

The only thing I don't like is that Josh seems scared to stream with her around but I don't blame him. If she does move in I just hope Josh can get in a groove where he feels comfortable streaming again. I think she scared him off during the first visit where she kept flashing the camera. It really doesn't matter to me either way, I'm just along for the ride.

 

[Heydrich]

And then there’s Jessica everybody bitches that she’s a gross, insane, annoying, and awful person they can’t stand. Yeah, man you’re watching lolcow shit! It’s like going out to eat at Red Lobster and bitching that there’s seafood on the menu. What do you want to watch instead a sane and reasonable person who behaves in a sensible manner?

Cobes is gross and insane but in an interesting way. He has his own character, style, and personality.

Jessica, in contrast, has zero charisma. She has absolutely no redeeming quality that makes her fun or interesting to watch.

Also I for one am much more tolerant to men being disgusting than to women being disgusting. I can handle Cobes' Doritoslop and greasy stains, and in fact watch it with amusement, but hearing Jessica talk about her periods and sucking off Cobes makes my skin crawl. It's a whole nother level of vile-ness that ceases to be entertaining.

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

Cobes is gross and insane but in an interesting way. He has his own character, style, and personality.

Jessica, in contrast, has zero charisma. She has absolutely no redeeming quality that makes her fun or interesting to watch.

Also I for one am much more tolerant to men being disgusting than to women being disgusting. I can handle Cobes' Doritoslop and greasy stains, and in fact watch it with amusement, but hearing Jessica talk about her periods and sucking off Cobes makes my skin crawl. It's a whole nother level of vile-ness that ceases to be entertaining.

You know Chance Wilkins exists, yeah? Lolcows come in variety. Josh is a classic cow. She's a horrorcow. It's only fitting their son will be named Jason Voorhees Saunders.

 

[SupremeGuntleman]

I know this is a wildly unpopular opinion but I can’t be the only one. There’s got to be at least one of you sickos who agrees. Anybody else out there like what Jessica adds to the content and wants her to stick around? I actually want her to move in and live with Cobes. Reason being that it won’t last forever and in the meantime it’d be a wild ride

I can't really disagree with your reasoning buuuuut,

Personally I have a really high disgust sensitivity for schizo junkie type women. I can somewhat power through it because Cobes is involved but she's extremely difficult for me to watch much of the time. I imagine many others feel the same way.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Redditors are seething and calling him a nazi after he said "Fuck the Palestinians".
View attachment 5845070
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PALESTINE HAS BEEN BULLIED FOR 100 YEARS, DOESN'T JOSH UNDERSTAND THAT???
View attachment 5845080

Not only have the Palestinians been bullied for 100 years, but every girl they've liked since 4th grade has rejected them, and they live off charity. Cobes is basically a honorary Palestinian.

The pious Reddit faggots are right about one thing, however. Cobes "punches down" whenever there's an opportunity. He goes after other retards with great gusto. Obviously because they're the only ones he can land punches on, and he's desperate to demonstrate he's not one of them.

 

[Grape Garden]

Why are so many people following lolcow shit when they seem to be lolctose intolerant?

Don't get it twisted. I'm here for the wild ride, as a think a lot of people are, you can't save him or change the situation, but I can complain about that insufferable cunt all I want because you can tell what a farse this whole thing is, which maybe the beauty of it all is that there is a person who would stoop this low. This will play out how it's meant to and I don't think anyone should try to sway it in a certain direction, but Jessica does push the boundaries of being very concerning. She talks to him like a retarded child which...okay, fair I guess, but the milk's expiring and she's becoming boring. What do we see today? Jessica screeching and Josh cowering, mumbling some shit about his ass crack. 3 min dip and drink combo video. There is no more new shit happening. OH wow today Jessica got on stream and called someone a faggot and made a bunch of incest insults. Wowie. But I see what you're saying, I just don't like the fact she self inserted herself, it wasn't like two lolcows met organically and this is the chaos we are blessed with. I am hoping we get an epic blow out before she leaves...or maybe she stays.

The only thing I don't like is that Josh seems scared to stream with her around but I don't blame him. If she does move in I just hope Josh can get in a groove where he feels comfortable streaming again. I think she scared him off during the first visit where she kept flashing the camera. It really doesn't matter to me either way, I'm just along for the ride.

Basically its Jessica's content with Cobra as a side character. That would be my fear as well, she would consume the whole thing and we wouldn't have Josh streaming anymore, it probably would become more mundane streaming, he gets on, she screams at him, he begs for money, neither of them get a job. Etc. It will get as boring as watching what the Haram Ham is up to.
I will say Cobes have given us some great one liners, her face when he said something along the lines of "You will know when I am tired of your shit" was priceless.

 

[TheTourist]

Why are so many people following lolcow shit when they seem to be lolctose intolerant?

You can't just float any ol' crazy by me. I can see the likes of jessica here in my home town, we hundreds of them wandering the streets.
I couldn't find a Cobes here. Only one Cobes, and the show is being watered down.

 

[ASeabear8952]

I know this is a wildly unpopular opinion but I can’t be the only one. There’s got to be at least one of you sickos who agrees. Anybody else out there like what Jessica adds to the content and wants her to stick around? I actually want her to move in and live with Cobes. Reason being that it won’t last forever and in the meantime it’d be a wild ride

I’m really puzzled by the people who want her to go away asap and stop being around or showing up or being in Josh’s life. This is an era where there’s something notable new or interesting happening frequently. There’s been more interesting or noteworthy shit happening in these few months than there had been in the past two or three years and even then the only notable things were the occasional drunk freak out or his arrest.

Between those big blowups fuck all was happening and it was constant complaining from the majority of people about how his content was stale, boring, predictable and mostly not worth watching. Now there’s a ton of new shit going down, it’s hard to predict what’ll happen, we get live streams of Cobes apartment when normally he wouldn’t be live and people are like “boo I hate this I want it to stop!” Like damn make up your minds? People complain shits stale and nothing happens and then when things happen people complain things are happening and want it to stop.

And then there’s Jessica everybody bitches that she’s a gross, insane, annoying, and awful person they can’t stand. Yeah, man you’re watching lolcow shit! It’s like going out to eat at Red Lobster and bitching that there’s seafood on the menu. What do you want to watch instead a sane and reasonable person who behaves in a sensible manner?

Why are so many people following lolcow shit when they seem to be lolctose intolerant?

I mean this is his most interesting saga in awhile but ever since Jessica’s fight with her parents my tolerance for her went down the drain. So this is something I’m really torn on myself. Jord’s life really is a reality show.