Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Irregardless]

Unfortunately, Cobra has neglected everything in his life to such a degree that his list of shortcomings is an untenable situation for any woman, period. The only women capable of tolerating them are women like Jessica because you’d have to actually be a nutcase to say “No job? Alcoholic? No license, no debit card, believes that magic is real? Has an 24/7 legion of people who harass him and everyone associated with him all day, all night? Unconventionally unattractive with black teeth? Not particularly bright and has mental disorders?” The list goes on and on, crazy women is all Cobra is fated to have. I just hope that he finds the least crazy woman he can and has a nice life.


It’s probably a good thing honestly. All men, and especially Cobra, need experiences filled with conflict to grow as people. Since Cobra doesn’t ever leave the house, make many friends or speak to women and overall habitually avoids conflict, he never really grows. This was a painful and good experience for him, he’s gunna come out of this a better person. He’s living in his own house now so at the very least you can say this was a blessing in disguise.

My opinion was a bit more in Josh's favor prior to reading this, but honestly, you're spot on. I think additionally the 2 biggest factors that will keep him this way are that 1, Josh is really dumb, like probably around 80 IQ, and 2, he's a perpetual man-child who was coddled by his father and now his weens to where it's now at the point that Josh is barely a functioning adult, if even one. There are plenty of women who are willing to accept A LOT, but the more you expect a woman to take, the worse she will likely be as well. The only potential good partner for Josh would be a woman who is willing to literally do EVERYTHING for a guy who won't even notice 3/4's of it and will constantly argue and get pissy about basic things like having him brush his teeth and shower. This doesn't even begin to go into the bringing him around family aspect, where Josh would be an embarrassment off sheer appearance and hygiene alone. Josh just doesn't have enough to offer to the kind of woman who would be willing to do all of that for him, so he is stuck with people just as bad if not worse than himself, likely worse due to the situation he's in being technically a successful YTer.

 

[Desire]

Spoiler: Archive of "Im single"

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Honestly good for him

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

I made one of those gay AI songs for the occasion.

 

[Potion_Time]

The king has spoken from the bug throne! NAL is no longer a part of the cobraverse!

 

[Here to Gawk]

Man she really did imply that Josh's biological mom and his stepdad mark SA him or some shit. As much as I hate nal and think everything bad she said josh did is total BS that seems way too specific to be totally made up I think he must have told her something.

Jessica went into a loop about this later into her drunken stream last night screaming repeatedly about Josh's stepdad "throwing him into a wall." Jessica Messica's stream snipe caught it if anyone cares to go digging. It was really late into the stream.

EDIT: Timestamp 9:01:33

https://www.youtube.com/live/VzG2lE93poQ?feature=shared&t=32494

 

[bonified retard]

Jessica went into a loop about this later into her drunken stream last night screaming repeatedly about Josh's stepdad "throwing him into a wall."

This is also referenced in "My Mom Lora"

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

The Boy really should lock up his trailer and hunker down that day Jessica has her plane ticket.

Continual Clint patrols around the vicinity of the trailer. Darf called in for homeboy support, desperate times.

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

All men, and especially Cobra, need experiences filled with conflict to grow as people.

 

[Molly Millions]

Continual Clint patrols around the vicinity of the trailer. Darf called in for homeboy support, desperate times.

I think Clint might be perfect as a hired tough guy

 

[Jobama]

People have been wanting Cobes to go on Fishtank since its inception. While they were still together Jessica said she would only want him on if they went on together. But she is absolutely more fitting.

Josh said during season 2 that he couldn’t go on because he had to take care of Puff because it was cold out. After it ended, he kept saying that he had to wait for it to get warm out so he could look for Puff. Jessica kept trying to get herself on the show with Josh. Now that they’re both gone, he has no excuse not to go on!

 

[AfghanBlue]

Happy days! the bog witch arc was too depressing to bear witness to, and I really thought he might just shrink and shrink, henpecked man style, into the shadow of her insanity until she eventually killed (or seriously maimed) him in some mad episode.

Kind of sweet that he bought her a nice ring just because. A lot of blokes are quite shit about considerate little things like that.

Kiwibros with partners , celebrate this happy occasion by buying your beau an opal stone piece of jewelry.
Don't let the King be a slightly better boyfriend once in a very specific regard, than you.
He leads by glorious example and this is the one occasion it would be appropriate to follow it.

(she's definitely not canceling that flight though cobes, so be aware)

 

[ilovejews]

We're not out of the woods yet, fellas, Cobies might have an extraordinary resistance to poison, but I bet the STD DoT stack she put on him is terrifying.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

Spoiler: Archive of "Im single"

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At least he got his little boglim wet.

I'd tell him to learn his lesson about sticking his dick in crazy. But that's about the only woman who'd fuck him for e fame.

 

['Ole Dente]

Josh said during season 2 that he couldn’t go on because he had to take care of Puff because it was cold out. After it ended, he kept saying that he had to wait for it to get warm out so he could look for Puff. Jessica kept trying to get herself on the show with Josh. Now that they’re both gone, he has no excuse not to go on!

You’ve gotta understand that getting Cobra to agree to going on Fishtank is an almost impossible task. He’s aware of what the premise of Fishtank is and the implication is that he’s being brought on there to be laughed at and he’s already very sensitive to people doing that to him, he’ll block his dad on Facebook for harmless jokes he interprets as teasing.

Imagine that he agrees to it, probably for a sum of money that Sam could afford. He doesn’t want to leave his apartment let alone the city or the state. Any time he’s done that it’s because he’s being forced to go to a family gathering and he’s opted out of those plenty of times. He’s had chances to travel with his dad to extremely nice places but he’s refused. He’s unmotivated to do anything, he would rather it come to him. He thinks that if he waits patiently and does his thing, the universe will give him everything he’s ever wanted (Its a nice cope for not actually doing anything.) He had some guy who proposed a fake cartoon to him and the guy had to drive out to Casper from California just to have him record voice lines, he wouldn’t even leave his house to go to a studio he wanted to record it all on his computer with a headset microphone.

Imagine someone who will go to the greatest, most incomprehensibly disadvantageous lengths to put in the least effort possible in almost every situation. Now, imagine that person is retarded and owns spray paint. That’s Cobra.

 

[Noxe]

I fucking knew this stupid cunt would accuse him of abusing her.

 

[anliteralidiot]

I fucking knew this stupid cunt would accuse him of abusing her.

Thankfully, I don't think I've seen anyone believe her.

He’s aware of what the premise of Fishtank is and the implication is that he’s being brought on there to be laughed at and he’s already very sensitive to people doing that to him, he’ll block his dad on Facebook for harmless jokes he interprets as teasing.

Okay, but he would've been perfect in the S2.5 Bloodgames. It was just retard LARP in the woods, not normal fishtank shit.

WE COULD HAVE HAD COBRA WITH JACE CONNORS.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

.

I love that any grand event can now be celebrated with a pile of AI art to go with it. The future is cool.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

I love that any grand event can now be celebrated with a pile of AI art to go with it. The future is cool.

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I can smell that pic through my monitor

 

[Kier Starmer]

Lets just hope she will actually kill herself now, Jessica is the most tiring orbiter I have seen or had the displeasure to listen to. Her voice alone can make people seppuku.

 

[Johnny Apple Sneed]

You’ve gotta understand that getting Cobra to agree to going on Fishtank is an almost impossible task. He’s aware of what the premise of Fishtank is and the implication is that he’s being brought on there to be laughed at and he’s already very sensitive to people doing that to him, he’ll block his dad on Facebook for harmless jokes he interprets as teasing.

Imagine that he agrees to it, probably for a sum of money that Sam could afford. He doesn’t want to leave his apartment let alone the city or the state. Any time he’s done that it’s because he’s being forced to go to a family gathering and he’s opted out of those plenty of times. He’s had chances to travel with his dad to extremely nice places but he’s refused. He’s unmotivated to do anything, he would rather it come to him. He thinks that if he waits patiently and does his thing, the universe will give him everything he’s ever wanted (Its a nice cope for not actually doing anything.) He had some guy who proposed a fake cartoon to him and the guy had to drive out to Casper from California just to have him record voice lines, he wouldn’t even leave his house to go to a studio he wanted to record it all on his computer with a headset microphone.

Imagine someone who will go to the greatest, most incomprehensibly disadvantageous lengths to put in the least effort possible in almost every situation. Now, imagine that person is retarded and owns spray paint. That’s Cobra.

Any time anyone brings up Josh on Fishtank it makes me laugh. Does anyone actually imagine Josh going thru TSA, finding his gate, and not getting black out drunk at the first bar he see's and miss his flight? I cant imagine Josh just doing what it takes to land in Rhode Island let alone want to spend the night outside of his Cozy Cobra Lair.