Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Umaibae]

Teeth Update. View attachment 6488157

Him attempting to read the PO Box numbers was magical.

How much do we think this DoorDash liquor order was? Has to be at least $80, no?

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

You are completely and demonstrably wrong. Cobes' carp lips are basically prehensile hot dog wieners that adapt to food hacks like a 50 million dollar aperture lens designed to only allow liquor and processed foods through.

The carp lips are an evolutionary throwback to our more simian ancestors.

 

[Thefrogsaregay]

Y'know, if this woman really is his birth mom, then it would appear that the fish lips are genetic.
View attachment 6488158

She looks just like him with a wig and no beard. Even has the same glasses. Need a reunion on Maury or some white trash show.

 

[Your Landlord]

She looks just like him with a wig and no beard. Even has the same glasses. Need a reunion on Maury or some white trash show.

Just listen to her. Very similar speech patterns and pauses to the Boy!

There's no way that isn't his mom. Seriously, just listen and WATCH her. The rant near the end, where she catches herself and then ends the video is pure Cobes.

 

[Thefrogsaregay]

Just listen to her. Very similar speech patterns and pauses to the Boy!

Praise Laurels magic.

Spoiler: Shitty drawing

 

[Slim Boglim]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaah the dickriding is crazy, Cobes is just a sexy goth badboy who makes dank food hacks, it ain't that deep.

If KingCobraJFS has a million fans, I'm one of them
If KingCobraJFS has 5 fans, I'm one of them
If KingCobraJFS has 1 fan, that one is me
If KingCobraJFS has no fans, I'm no longer alive
If the world is against KingCobraJFS I'm against the entire world
Till my last breath, I'll support KingCobraJFS

 

[Mushroom King]

3 weeks my brothers, I"m sober 27 days, I am sober. I was sober 3 years. I just got weak.

 

[Eventide]

Just listen to her. Very similar speech patterns and pauses to the Boy!

There's no way that isn't his mom. Seriously, just listen and WATCH her. The rant near the end, where she catches herself and then ends the video is pure Cobes.

....ooof. Papa Cobes intentionally slept with a mentally slow woman? Isn't that, like, a crime?

 

[Slim Boglim]

3 weeks my brothers, I"m sober 27 days, I am sober. I was sober 3 years. I just got weak.

Nice power leveling you fuckin loser.

I’m on my 9’th year sober. There’s no shame in a stumble and the fact that you didn’t give up and make excuses but instead are back on track with sobriety is a testament to your willpower. Take it a day at a time. You don’t need to be sober for a month, or a year, or 5 years. You just need to be sober today. Eventually when you just focus on being sober “today” all those “todays” add up and you look back not even realizing “holy shit it’s almost been ten years!” You better know I believe in you, I know you can do it, and I am cheering you on, BOY!

 

[bookers]

i think cobes should get a dog
it might actually do him some good, to have a companion and a reason to go outside every day.
what kind of dog do people think would be best for cobes?
i'm thinking like maybe a pug, because they're retarded and kinda just sit around and hang out all day.

 

[Bogliacci]

Hey you cool cobras: I'm missing The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind, and I need a recommendation. What race would Cobes be, if he were in the game? I gotta hand paint the texture.

He'd be a redguard because he's a natural warrior so the stats match and he has bumper car lips so nigger

 

[Cougar Pump]

i think cobes should get a dog
it might actually do him some good, to have a companion and a reason to go outside every day.
what kind of dog do people think would be best for cobes?
i'm thinking like maybe a pug, because they're retarded and kinda just sit around and hang out all day.

Bruh he already had a pet that didn't need walks and didn't need to be taken outside and yet he managed to take it outside and lose it, cursing it to freeze and starve to death in the hellhole that is winter Casper. A dog is an actual commitment, not a motivational tool. The boy just wouldn't walk it. It'd have to sit rotting away in the gothic caravan inhaling smoke, eating greasy leftovers, and shitting on the floor. It would be a terrible life for the poor animal.

 

[Eventide]

Bruh he already had a pet that didn't need walks and didn't need to be taken outside and yet he managed to take it outside and lose it, cursing it to freeze and starve to death in the hellhole that is winter Casper. A dog is an actual commitment, not a motivational tool. The boy just wouldn't walk it. It'd have to sit rotting away in the gothic caravan inhaling smoke, eating greasy leftovers, and shitting on the floor. It would be a terrible life for the poor animal.

Does Cobes have a new PO box? I kinda want to send him a turtle. Turtles can go months without eating, and once they're no longer hatchlings, are surprisingly hardy/difficult to kill via neglect (...which is actually quite sad, when it comes to turtle rescues. Like, there's frequently turtles surrendered to rescues that lived in dirty tiny bowls for 10+ years, with stunted growth/deformed shells from lack of proper UV light). Like, if you send Cobes a heated tank, filter, proper lighting, & a RES, he'll have a pet for life.

Edit:

This is a joke. But not really, someone should ask him if he'd consider a turtle. I'd totes support sending him one.

 

[UncleBlazer]

i think cobes should get a dog
it might actually do him some good, to have a companion and a reason to go outside every day.
what kind of dog do people think would be best for cobes?
i'm thinking like maybe a pug, because they're retarded and kinda just sit around and hang out all day.

Cobes getting a dog would be one of the only reasons I would completely nope out of the Cobraverse tbh

 

[Slim Boglim]

i think cobes should get a dog
it might actually do him some good, to have a companion and a reason to go outside every day.
what kind of dog do people think would be best for cobes?
i'm thinking like maybe a pug, because they're retarded and kinda just sit around and hang out all day.

He would breathe weed smoke into its face and feed it fast food.

 

[bookers]

Bruh he already had a pet that didn't need walks and didn't need to be taken outside and yet he managed to take it outside and lose it, cursing it to freeze and starve to death in the hellhole that is winter Casper. A dog is an actual commitment, not a motivational tool. The boy just wouldn't walk it. It'd have to sit rotting away in the gothic caravan inhaling smoke, eating greasy leftovers, and shitting on the floor. It would be a terrible life for the poor animal.

it's easy to lose a lizard. it's harder to lose a dog.
its not hard to get dog food, you can order it online and he'd just have to let the dog out twice a day and it's not like his daily schedule is packed.
you think owning a dog is more difficult than it actually is.
i think he'd be good with a dog. especially a lazy dog like a pug or smth.
it would also give him some purpose and maybe a reason to go outside more, but again, if he had a small dog he wouldnt even have to really go outside.
i'm not convinced he shouldn't get a dog. i think it would make him happy.

 

[clipartfan92]

if you send Cobes a heated tank

Imagine the smell of a neglected turtle tank that's trapped in the back bedroom of a small trailer.

 

[ibeatmywife]

Imagine the smell of a neglected turtle tank that's trapped in the back bedroom of a small trailer.

The smell would remind him of Jessica's rotten vagina and he would suddenly have a craving for Wendy's TWU

 

[Chieftain Coke Peanut]

i always wonder what his back molars look like. do they even exist at this point? literally the only look we see is in half second snippets of videos. and all we see is a ww1 trench.

but yeah his carp lips are from his mother. its rarely discussed but even clint said in the yourfavoriteson interview that she "wasnt right in the head"

apparently they met at a special olympics event. leaves me wondering was she a volunteer or a participant?

So Clint banged an actual retard? I bet he regrets that quick pump and dump. His mom being retarded is the only thing that makes sense to me. It's hard as fuck to convince the court system to give the father sole custody so something had to be going on and retardation is a pretty slam dunk accusation.

What I want to know is why did Daddy Nips fuck her in the first place? He's a California 2 but a Wyoming 6. He could do better like he did with the do over family.

If he's fucking retarded people at a special Olympics event he's volunteering at, what do you think he's doing with intimacy coordination and photography classes?

 

[PetiteFeet]

apparently they met at a special olympics event. leaves me wondering was she a volunteer or a participant?

I guess Josh feeling up that special needs girl is just him being his father's son. Sickoism runs in the family, toobz.