Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Pascal's Wagie]

That would be horrible but also interesting. As Seizure once said, the most eventful moments in the Cobraverse tend to happen on or around his birthday, Valentines Day, Halloween, and Christmas.

I'm so, so grateful that Cobra's magick has it greatest concentration around the holiday season. Means more time off for the working man enjoy the fruits of Cobra's loins (where the magick is kept).

 

[Slim Boglim]

Ya there's no fixing that level of crazy beyond a traumatic brain injury

How fucking wild would it be for a lolcow to get a traumatic brain injury; the kind that rewires your whole brain and makes you have a whole new personality, and come out of it normal, sane, and intelligent. Can you imagine the nightmare if Cobes woke up from a coma non-retarded and no longer bog-brained and had to see first hand his life and his antics through the eyes of a sane and reasonable person? It’d be like waking up after a night of partying where you got a little too drunk and made an ass of yourself so you feel that morning after embarrassment and shame… only it’s your entire life. Your current circumstances. Imagine Josh having the lucidity to look back and see every single place where he went wrong, where he was a fool and a boglim, how miserable the state of his life is now and all of the things he did that lead to it. They say “if only you knew how bad things really are”. But imagine waking up one day and you have an epiphany and you become acutely aware “how bad things really are” all at once

Like Neo waking up from the Matrix but instead of learning humanity are living batteries in a destroyed world run by robots you wake up and learn you’ve been a retarded internet clown, a fucking boglim your whole life

 

[funscape]

How fucking wild would it be for a lolcow to get a traumatic brain injury; the kind that rewires your whole brain and makes you have a whole new personality, and come out of it normal, sane, and intelligent. Can you imagine the nightmare if Cobes woke up from a coma non-retarded and no longer bog-brained and had to see first hand his life and his antics through the eyes of a sane and reasonable person? It’d be like waking up after a night of partying where you got a little too drunk and made an ass of yourself so you feel that morning after embarrassment and shame… only it’s your entire life. Your current circumstances. Imagine Josh having the lucidity to look back and see every single place where he went wrong, where he was a fool and a boglim, how miserable the state of his life is now and all of the things he did that lead to it. They say “if only you knew how bad things really are”. But imagine waking up one day and you have an epiphany and you become acutely aware “how bad things really are” all at once

Like Neo waking up from the Matrix but instead of learning humanity are living batteries in a destroyed world run by robots you wake up and learn you’ve been a retarded internet clown, a fucking boglim your whole life

Acquired savant syndrome is reportedly an actual thing. Or like that guy who became a homosexual gambling addict from taking Parkinson's drugs. Anything is possible toobz

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

How fucking wild would it be for a lolcow to get a traumatic brain injury; the kind that rewires your whole brain and makes you have a whole new personality, and come out of it normal, sane, and intelligent. Can you imagine the nightmare if Cobes woke up from a coma non-retarded and no longer bog-brained and had to see first hand his life and his antics through the eyes of a sane and reasonable person? It’d be like waking up after a night of partying where you got a little too drunk and made an ass of yourself so you feel that morning after embarrassment and shame… only it’s your entire life. Your current circumstances. Imagine Josh having the lucidity to look back and see every single place where he went wrong, where he was a fool and a boglim, how miserable the state of his life is now and all of the things he did that lead to it. They say “if only you knew how bad things really are”. But imagine waking up one day and you have an epiphany and you become acutely aware “how bad things really are” all at once

Like Neo waking up from the Matrix but instead of learning humanity are living batteries in a destroyed world run by robots you wake up and learn you’ve been a retarded internet clown, a fucking boglim your whole life

He'd actually kill himself if that happened. That much lucidity would overwhelm him and he'd go mad from the revelation. How could someone as ugly, chronically unemployed and in such shitty health as Cobra even bounce back from this even if his ODD went away?

It's actually ogre for this man.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

That much lucidity would overwhelm him and he'd go mad from the revelation.

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

That would be horrible but also interesting. As Seizure once said, the most eventful moments in the Cobraverse tend to happen on or around his birthday, Valentines Day, Halloween, and Christmas.

I can just picture her in a Santa hat, screaming at Cobes' troles and Josheee'ing Cobes, with a drink combo that includes eggnog and ALOT of flavored vodka.

In boglim culture the act of sharing food is considered to have great significance.

I have no doubt he's going to keep this dumpster fire burning. Every bit of attention he gives her is fuel for her to "keep hope alive."

 

[PetiteFeet]

What kind of mental illness physiognomy are you calculating? What inference do you think you can make from a photograph? A *disordered* personality is pretty much bedrock, it could theoretically could be mitigated but definitely not healed. For someone like NAL, treatment would basically be figuring out ways to manage and reduce damage to herself and the people who have to deal with her. If she ONLY had BPD, it does get better with age in some people, but there is clearly more at play here it's actually probably kind of complicated. And moreover she isn't interested in helping herself, she will more or less be "like this" until the day she dies.

Spoiler: NAL sperg

having lived ten years with other mentally ill people, you can just *tell* when something is off about a person.
Yeah, she's not interested in getting better because she doesn't see she's unwell. That's why it's a PERSONALITY disorder. She's not going to get a therapist who specialises in dialectic behavioural therapy and she's not going to take any medication for whatever the fuck else is wrong with her.
I still hold NAL has a .00001% chance at making her life livable with her disorders when compared to Josh, though I need to stress that she's not going to because she's not interested. She's like 40? She's not going to change now if she hasn't tried to get help earlier in her life.

But I digress, toobz. This is not the NAL thread and I don't know enough about her prior to her forcing herself into the cobraverse.

How fucking wild would it be for a lolcow to get a traumatic brain injury; the kind that rewires your whole brain and makes you have a whole new personality, and come out of it normal, sane, and intelligent.

You reminded me of Pad, the guy who wanted to become a human female hygiene product. Allegedly he had a hormonal imbalance or something and he saw a doctor who helped treat him and now he's just a relatively normal guy.

 

['Ole Dente]

What does he have better than her? His health is fucked. They are both drunks so thats a wash. She can likely have a better time scoring a partner, no 6 year dry spell for her. Before you point out no one wants her long term, all Cobes can get is this ugly hag. He can mouth of all he likes, but if she shows up and wafters the burger stench his way, he is putty in her hands.

For the most part they are equal, but she has a few more things better than he does. He does have his fans, but thats mostly people who enjoy laughing at him slowly killing himself, or send in duster and bird food.

Cobes of say 8 years ago would smoke the hag for sure, but he has fallen far from a not very high spot to begin with. She may haunt the parking lots of her local area, but Cobes appears to have become a complete shut in at this point which is further worsening his mental state.

On a scale out of 10, she is 0.2 and he is 0.1. Both are fucked, but he is more fucked.

Our LORD, in his infinite wisdom, has managed to capitalize on his retardedness by producing and actually selling not one, not two, but 18 albums over a 15 year period of time. He’s produced his own successful clothing lines, his own magical wand business which is also wildly successful and he is a magnetic personality enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. His failing health has been in the pursuit of making others laugh and in many ways he is a martyr for your sick entertainment. He is loved by his parents, all annimals and he has his own property.

Jessica has nothing except a box for which she pisses in and a bathtub for which she runs a psyop against her parents in.

 

[ASeabear8952]

How fucking wild would it be for a lolcow to get a traumatic brain injury; the kind that rewires your whole brain and makes you have a whole new personality, and come out of it normal, sane, and intelligent.

My brain immediately went to the SpongeBob episode where Patrick falls from the cliff and becomes smart after hitting his head. Maybe I’m a bit Bog-brained myself.

 

[funscape]

 

[Cambiar]

.00001% chance

Dialectical behavioral therapy therapy is a fad and a way of intellectualizing teaching people to count to 10 and take deep breaths instead of immediately screaming. She's not getting better.

 

['Ole Dente]

View attachment 6630689

I thought it said:

“The appearance here suggests a total disregard for grooming and any attention to self-preservation.”

and I thought, yeah dood, that checks out. This little regard has been trying to kill himself since ‘06 and the forces of evolution have made that impossible. He has adapted to his environment. Eventually, he became Homo Bogliminus, the only creature that can’t kill itself.

 

[IsaacShraeder]

View attachment 6630689

AI starting to act cute after being forced to generate another nu-metal song about farting and heavy drinking and slaying troles

 

[Molly Millions]

Looking extra deranged today

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Looking extra deranged today

Ignoring Jessica is his new strategy and to start that off, he's gonna make a shirt saying she's the worst. Gotta love boglim logic.

What I want to know is where this peace offering idea even came from? Was it his therapist, Clint, buddy trolls or his own swiss cheese deep frted brain? Because that was a regarded move even for him.

 

[Hard R]

it feels like he's not gonna stop talking about her until one of them is dead and it's PISSING ME OFFFF

 

[Hennimore]

Ignoring Jessica is his new strategy and to start that off, he's gonna make a shirt saying she's the worst. Gotta love boglim logic.

What I want to know is where this peace offering idea even came from? Was it his therapist, Clint, buddy trolls or his own swiss cheese deep frted brain? Because that was a regarded move even for him.

I just like how he seems surprised that she didn't accept a peace offering that was announced in a 30 minute video of him saying she is going to die alone lol
Josh has always been stupid but man has he done a number on his brain with that spray paint, duster and booze. He's made more videos about Jessica since announcing his "master plan" of ignoring her than he did before he came up with this insane peace offering idea.

Anything Josh has to say about Jessica could easily be said about him as well, honestly they're mirror images of each other.

 

[Slim Boglim]

It’s like his strategy of “block, delete, and ignoring” trolls which he enacts by “reading, acknowledging, and responding” to things they send him ever single time

 

[funscape]

Someone should convince Josh that the reason Jessica is obsessed with him and won't leave him alone is because of the tactical soap.

 

[Hennimore]

Someone should convince Josh that the reason Jessica is obsessed with him and won't leave him alone is because of the tactical soap.

Write up a fake scientific paper about a newly found link between pheromone soap and women murdering their ex-boyfriends/husbands.

"69% of all homicide victims were wearing Tactical Soap at the time of the murder."