Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Release the GOTH.
KingCobraJFS_flexing.webp
 
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PetiteFeet said:
I wonder if non-Cobra kiwis understand our jargon
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Boglimpedia can help with the lore. Cobraism podcast episode from Seizure and Cobraism compilation from Cooler_Taste are both great.

KingCobraJFS / Cobra / The BOY / Boglim [Bog-lim] = Joshua Saunders. The name used tends to depend on the context. Boglim stems from Cool Taste (another Casper, Wyoming resident) trying to call Cobra a "goblin" but fucked it up. BOY comes from Cobra's dislike of being called BOY. Often used when trying to tell Cobra not to do something: "You better not get drunk and eat cat food on stream to own the trolls, BOY."
TWU = That's what's up. One of the best Cobraisms of all time.
TMDWTFIU = That's most definitely what the fuck is up. Additional emphasis, but it's still what's up.
Youtoob / Toobz = YouTube / YouTube audience
Food hack = A food item or meal Cobra modified in some way. Usually weird, gross, disgusting, and inedible for humans.
Drink combo = A drink Cobra modified in some way. Usually weird, gross, or disgusting, some are hits.
Sickos / Fuck sickos = Rapists, pedophiles, murderers, anyone who is evil or disgusting. "Fuck sickos" is often said by Cobra and Cobros when talking about serious subjects and the sicko fucks that do fucked up stuff. Fuck rape. Fuck suicide. Fuck sickos.
Cobro / Cobros = Combination of Cobra and bro. Meant to be a friendly member of Cobra's cult (YouTube now). Often used to refer to other Cobra viewers or thread posters.
Circle of Protection / Circle of Healing = A magical spell cast by Cobra (and later his KiwiCobros) to protect someone or something from danger. Extremely powerful and should be used with caution. A post should be made in the thread if a Circle of Protection is cast. "A circle of protection against Kim Jong Un's nuclear threat." "Circle of protection against ISIS' bullshit for the world." So mote it be.
"A Circle of protection to the soldiers fighting ISIS, and a couple days later I saw on CNN it said a drone strike basically killed the leader of ISIS."
"I cast a Circle of protection against the brave men and women who fight against ISIS. " (My emphasis)
"I cast a Circle of protection for the people fighting ISIS and a couple days ago ISIS lost a huge amount of territory and this old woman was celebrating by smoking a cigarette."
"A circle of protection against Kim Jong Un's nukes for the United States of America and for the world, and then on September 3rd, four earthquakes destroyed his nuclear base after he tried to do a test. "
"A Circle of protection for Michael Green and his family against any negativity and drama."
"I put a Circle of protection on her and the town where the protest was happening."
"I have a Circle of protection I invoked around the entire building. "
"My Circle of protection around this building is so strong that one time a buddy of mine seen <sic> a big old raven sitting by the dump. He was mean mugging the pidgeons and staring at my window before he took off."
"A Circle of protection and a Circle of Healing."
"A Circle of protection on Jessica Alice Willden and the plane that she is boarding. "
So mote it be / So mote it be in the Witches Circle = Closing phrase to spells or statements that is meant to convey "so shall it be." Repeated ironically and unironically.
Clock tower mansion = Cobra's dream mansion with a clocktower and other sweet goth features.
Double standards = Men and women both have problems, so don't ignore either. He just repeats stuff he hears without understanding it.
Paypig = Cobra viewer who gives Cobra money. Still considered poz loading / glasstapping / poo-touching.
A-log / troll / trole / glasstapper = Cobra "viewer" who fucks with Cobra. Phone calls, texts, deliveries, and swatting have been used as methods. Tends to lurk on Reddit or in Discord grooming servers. Is retarded and should kill themself.
Bog witch / JESSICA BOYLE / Psycho ex = Jessica Boyle, a psycho and unstable woman from Virginia who is part of the gorlworld sphere and shoved herself into the Cobraverse. BPDemon, who is a trash person.
In the red / Account is in the negative = Cobra has a negative bank or paypal balance and needs wants money. Usually said throughout a stream to (not so subtly) hint at paypigs to start paypigging.
I don't need to drink / It's a want, not a need / It's a juan, not a mead = Cobra's excuse for not doing something or getting something. Cobra is an alcoholic who needs alcohol to attempt to function. He needs to drink, but he still doesn't function.
That's not too bad / It's not half bad = The food hack or drink combo is horrible. He hates it but has to lie to be his cool, goth bad boy self.
 
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For most, keeping up with Josh is a combo of laughing at what he does, being horrified by what he does, wishing him well yet acknowledging that if Clint can't help him you certainly can't so it's always best to refrain from tapping the glass, and being subject to a morbid curiousity that disallows you from ever looking away at each new turn of his deterioration.
 
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Quandale Octavius Dingle said:
I hate doubleposting but people really underestimate how badly spice fucked him up. Even in the first apartment there was an obvious decline in his cognition and speaking ability. Just in the last few years there. On top of him refusing to keep taking his ADHD meds.
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Isn't duster abuse known to cause legit brain damage/lower IQ? Like, people have ended up institutionalized for life from doing too much duster/lose the ability to function.
 
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mars said:
Now that he's discovered you can get just as drunk off of a handle of bottom shelf vodka as a pint of peach flavored whiskey I think things are going to go downhill real quick.
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It's not like it's a Cobraverse secret. He likes his overpriced peach liquor, buuuuuut when money's tight and he remembers how to stretch it, Nikolai vodka and those awful 99 proof shooters will suffice.
 
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Eventide said:
Well, no wonder he looks so awful. If that's the level his alcoholism has reached, it won't be long now before Cobes starts drinking bbq pit lighter fluid.
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Cobes' alcoholism is in a weird place right now. His tolerance is off the charts and he'll drink anything to get a buzz, but he doesn't get actual withdrawals.

Maybe him not brushing his teeth was a blessing in disguise. Or else he'd have discovered drinking Listerine by now.
 
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Eventide said:
Well, no wonder he looks so awful. If that's the level his alcoholism has reached, it won't be long now before Cobes starts drinking bbq pit lighter fluid.
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I'm honestly surprised we haven't seen him drinking mouthwash when he is out and desperate, lord knows he isn't using mouthwash for it's intended use. He's certainly done weirder things to catch a buzz. He carried around that bottle of cologne for huffing purposes for a long time, to the point that it became bone dry. He got every last molecule of cologne out of that bottle.
 
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