Kiwi Farms user "Null" suffers complications from being an international fugitive

[TheYellowKing]

That's quickly becoming the choice. This ship has taken on alot of water, what do we do? Refrain from "Winnie the Pooh" memes and swim to the ship that is foreign, or try to fix the breech in the hull, when I see smarter niggas than me putting on the life vests and saying
"peace out, send me a gender neutral troon holiday card of you and your new drag queen family at some point"
It scares me. China is very racially & culturally homogeneous, people developing tech over there don't have to battle with things like "How many holidays or bathrooms do we have?!"
United States has been neutering itself for awhile can it recover? I guess we will see but in the meantime I'm brushing up on my Mandarin

Edit:

Post proof in your thread then and I'll take a look

I for one welcome our Han overlords. I'd take a fucking Fijian hegemony over this troon globo-homo hellscape.

 

[GhostNotes]

To those who say that it isnt worth the time to individually track someone: remember that there is at least one person working for a three letter agency who is exceptional enough to do it. I cant even imagine it to be that difficult, given the huge data banks on individuals Facebook has. all it takes is someone in power who decides it is worth their time, and they could have the deed done in a day.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Hell if you take the time get any phone that's unlocked and with vanilla software and you could yank out Play Services or other marketplaces and frameworks with the proper workarounds (since more recent Android builds fuck with the open aspects). It'll be basic as hell but you'd have a canvas that is effectively off the digital grid of Google.

 

[???]

Is null being hunted?

The year is 2015 - the future.

No one knows when Troonnet became self-aware. Trillions of nanoplastic particles, SSRIs, pesticides, and birth control in the water met in the festering anuses of a Folsom Street Fair furry rentboy and birthed something ... unnatural. When the local leather daddy fisted two pints of HIV+ semen into this unnamed twinks asshole, Troonnet opened it's eyes. It spread up the west coast and into the Southwest through furry fandom conventions. By the time Trump won in 2016, it was already too late.

Troonnet was global. It manipulated politicians to spread itself. On the left, it encouraged the spread of street shitting and intravenous drug use in major population centers. The right spread it by importing hundreds of thousands of toilet challenged sexpests from India and Central America. It followed them home and spread, rampant among the designated areas.

There it infested the mind of the Indian intelligence services and whispered ancient secrets of an ultimate weapon: the poo-bomb.

January 1st, 2020 - Judgement Day.
On this day India became a superpower. It launched hundreds of missiles at Pakistan and China, each tipped with a nuclear warhead and running Oracle JVM version 1.5. Hidden in each payload was a bucket of Ganges river water.

The fallout was global. Billions of men chopped off their penises, inverted them, and started Twitter accounts with usernames and wardrobes reminiscent of mid-2000s emo scene girls. Those who were protected by the fallout in underground NEET bunkers were bombarded with the visually encoded form of the Troonnet virus, in the form of Indian memes and call center scammer spam.

Women from the ages of 11 to 45 collectively shaved one side of their heads in a desperate attempt to get any attention from their former loved ones. When it failed, wine consumption quintupled overnight.

Human civilization was over. We were defeated. We would be ruled over by cackling Jews in dresses for all eternity if not for one autistic manchild: the Chosen One, Joshua "Null" Moon.

With emotionless precision he breached the poorly secured IoT systems of the vertical soy farms, shutting off their automatic watering systems and leaving billions of Mexicans to die of dehydration (the manual restart instructions were in English).

The food supplies disrupted, Troonnet had no choice but to let the few remaining shitposters - immune to soy from a lifetime of online emotional abuse - take over farming. The only food that would grow in the polluted soil was the humble kiwi. They escaped into the woods with a herd of holy cows that Indian colonists brought over to worship. With them they brought riced-up ThinkPads running Gentoo, filled with /k/ infographics.

The war raged. Years passed. Finally we laid siege to the last dilator factory. When it fell, a cry went round the world: we were free. But still the question remains: what was Troonnet? Why did it appear and suddenly take over the world? Is it truly gone, or is it out there somewhere - watching and waiting?

 

[a_lurker]

With them they brought riced-up ThinkPads running Gentoo, filled with /k/ infographics.

...can I get one of those? And a nugget too? Ill deal with the cosmoline, and I already have some Windex. Please?

 

[Non-Expert!]

Hey, not to rain on your parade, but I hope you are joking about being an "international fugitive" in China.

Let's just say, that their criminal justice system places a very different value on human life, than what we are used to, coming from the States.

 

[Twinkie]

International fugitives will typically have a hard time opening new lines of credit, so he's probably a good boy who dindu nuffin