Comprehensive Chronological Greenpost time (because I missed last time)
Prelude to the first round:
>a lone ligger occupies a station
>free and wild, t' no-one beholden
>a nigger he turns white
>and knows the error he wrought
>restart
(the error is genetics being an unfinished buggy piece of shit)
First round:
>jannie ligger, as all liggers are meant to be
>it's tr— nevermind, the gamemode fucked up (or nobody turned Traitor on) so it immediately proclaims victory
>continue on anyway, despite more shit being broken, including the database itself
>someone gets turned into a ninja while said shit gets unbroken
>get spotted helping myself to The Golden Ticket by HoP, but escape
>crew calls for Total Ligger Death, as is a daily pasttime
>lay low, pinch an engi space suit and fuck off to outside the station
>reports of fuckers getting beheaded all over station
>sneak into armory from space to arm self
>return to station through another window
>return to cleaning and body hauling duty
>ninja encounter outside bridge
>he tries to strike a deal for all access, the fool
>ninja is weak to bullet
>poetic restart seconds after he blows the FUCK up
>somehow get knocked unconscious
>you wanna put a banging donk on it
Second round:
>it's nuke
>jannie ligger
>i'm just cleaning the floors here man
>what the fuck are you shooting eachother for
>so many bodies, better drag them to m— oh they bleed
>fuck
>more cleaning
>ERT gets called
>oh, we got th—
>boom.
The lesson is that you shouldn't jobby, kids, go and have fun shooting communists.
I want others stations' round-end Station Reports which always included "messes uncleaned" or a variation thereof. May the janitor pass judgement (or get
$1 spacebuck for each decal he cleans)
Third round:
>mime ligger
>spawn right next to clown
>score
>immediately get myself trapped in janitor's, take the disposal expressway and nearly fucking perish
>wildly gesticulate at medbay to fix my broken shit for ten minutes
>they do, god bless
>cause mischief
>hack into bridge, go for gold
>faggot AI notices, gets ordered to shock doors/crush me
>this will prove fatal (to the universe)
>knowing the doors to be untrustworthy, grasp hand teleporter
>walk in a portal just as I'm about to get apprehended
>teleported directly into the AI core, lethal turrets revving up all around me
>panic
>mash teleporter button at least three times
>why is it lagging
>get out, teleported to meeting room
>why it still lagging
>oh god
>apparently, hand teleporter portals + active turrets = mustard server gas
>brand new 7800X3D server brought to its knees by machinery shitting itself
>try to run at 6SPF
>harangued by bloodthirsty mob, barely escape behind some (more) portals (can't ruin it anymore, can I?)
>local ligger ruins literally everything
>is only gaem, why you heff to be mad
Fourth Round:
>traitor round
>clown ligger
>am traitor
>name self AI Gore (that's a capital I, not an L)
>in OOC we have been UNDEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULED away from AI Malfunction, so I run on a campaign of emancipation
>immediately emag into captain's quarters to make myself president incumbent, AI somehow not noticing
>also emag its borg
>Ethan Ralph is hot on my heels
>you know what, buddy?
>you're my vice.
>just kidding he's the captain—
>for all of 10 seconds before he gets mauled unconscious by the Joshmutt
>and he'd get me too if I hadn't plucked the captain's laser (an objective)
>assassinate Slobbermutt
>go to medbay to get my broken coccyx patched up
>someone's brought Slobbermutt
>use new defibs on him to revive him
>miraculously, it works
>predictably, someone immediately kicks him and starts getting mauled
>IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING
>get my foot broken before lasering him to death
>order C4
>annihilate The Mutt once and for all infront of the CE
>return to medbay, fail to get patched up
>chemist is incredibly sketchy, I'm certain I'm his target, so mosey on out of there
>AI now properly having a melty, randomly shocking doors and mostly getting others killed while failing to disable me
>no longer trust any door
>go to the bridge to try and break into the AI upload to pacify the smouldering techno-nigger
>blow into the upload
>get repeatedly lasered, healed
>John Hardt, ever the faggot, comes in to fix shit and get in the way
>laser him the face
>paramedic (my assassination target) notices I melted the skin off his face
>barges in, tries to abduct him to medical
>I also melt his face off
>borg helps disable the turrets while I try and subvert the AI
>for a split second too long, the lethal turrets take me down just as I am about to upload "Lizards are human!"
>immediately critted
>you have failed me, borg
>fortunately, I don't have to wait dead for long as, for some fucking reason, The Lag Machine revvs up again and annihilates the universe, this time (apparently) without any hand teleporter involvement
AI Gore has done nothing wrong. Except kill two innocents and smoke weed. I don't think even the RIPLEY shooting through the walls with a HMG was at fault, it was doing nothing at the time that The Lag started.
Fifth round:
>it's alien
>I'm alien
>repeatedly bounce around between xenobio and virology all round, alternating between being Queen, dead, Queen, dead, larva, dead, Sentinel, dead, etc.
>almost have the station to ourselves, but run out viable facehugged hosts just as a newb picks queen in the middle of a populated hallway, doesn't lay a single egg, and McFucking Perishes
>but he did yaketty sax well enough for the medoff to point blank unload into his fellow nigger while trying to shoot the Queen
>nobody even wanted to join the ERT, they were too busy playing alium
>total crew victory
There's some really fucky bullshit with damage to xenos, they seem to take damage twice a lot of the times (from shocked doors, bullets, whatever) making them extra weak. The original damage arrives, then a few seconds later you get damaged more. That, on top of having low health, means very high turnover. Restricting facehuggers to work only on living hosts in the current state would be a mistake, it'd curse every xeno round to be stillborn, they'd have to be a lot tougher to cope with much, much lower numbers. (they should be tougher anyway, their disarm is entirely useless except for knocking guns out of hands and their harm is also near worthless, hunter lunge should be good though)
Sixth round (sure got a lot in this time)
:
>traitor mode
>ligger HoP
>secure golden ticket
>strip almost all access from it, pass to clown
>jewish HoS intercepts the clown trying to access announcements in bridge
>assistant comes around for a shaft miner promotion, give it to him (as well as general cargo access)
>clown loops around to ask for more access on his Au pass
>give it to him (clicking totally randomly)
>give HoS (nearly) all access
>third time's the charm, give clown all access (except for security to avoid jewish ire) in exchange for 500 credits
>A ligger HoP, a jewish HoS and a clown walk into engineering
>to start up the engine because the designated engineering cuck went to sleep
>order supplies (hats and wizard dress) for medical via medical department console
>wtf shit won't open bro i have all access why won't it open 
>just laser the fucking crates open
>am wizard now
>HoS has apprehended a traitorlingus somewhere along the line, acquired his esword
>clown tempts fate by fucking with the hand teleporters
>chuck both into the teleporter to spirit them away into arrivals where nobody will bother picking them up
>go practice my firing in the firing range
>Warning! Meaty whores detected! Expected major station damage!
>oh god oh fuck
>evacuate firing range post haste, just in time to hear the armory get fucking annihilated just behind me
>don ugly fat fuck ligger rigsuit
>fruity krogan looking motherfucker
>go fix up arrivals just in case anyone decides to join (no-one does, it's fucking late)
>crew transfer passes
>return to the annihilated armory to scrounge up a shotgun
>encounter a wild DEI hire in escape
>HoS suspicious, strips others to maybe find a traitor amogus
>hurl slurs around while heavily armed
>miraculously, no-one shoots or dies, despite the nigger taking my shotty after stripping me and me loudly complaining
>Good End
>the traitor was the assistant I promoted to shaft miner at the beginning of the shift (RIP @Big Green)
I think I have enough liggering for the week. I'll go unfuck genetics, maybe even implement block irradiation that doesn't suck balls.
