Let's Sperg kiwifarms.net Plays Coming Out On Top - Bros Are Hoes

O-oh my. :oops:

Um, tell him what happened.
 
Ian: (smiling) No way, really? That's insane!

Adam: Geez, I didn't think I was THAT undateable.

Ian: Waaaaait, Adam. You know that's not what I meant. It's just that...I mean, you just came out last night. It's just happening so fast. I mean, it's not like it should happen so fast. You're perfectly capable of attracting-I mean you're a good looking enough dude. Not like I'm checking you out or anything. Not that it's wrong to check out other guys.

Adam: Dude, relax. I was just playing around.

Ian: I'll just shut up now. Well, there's my building. Enjoy anatomy. I know you'll ace the intro course. But if you need any help, I still got my notes from my freshman year.

Adam: Wait a minute, didn't you barely pass that class.

Ian: I got a C plus. Newsflash - that is passing, PLUS a side order of awesome.

Adam: I think I'll be ok.

Ian: Ooh, Mister Rhodes P. Scholar is too good for my secondhand notes. Look at me, I'm Adam Sandler. My GPA is over 2.0. I'm special. Well, let me tell you something, buddy. While I may not be a member of the intellectual elite -

Adam: Ian, I'm an English tutor. I help ESL students conjugate verbs.

Ian: I'm not ashamed of being a salt-of-the-earth American. See these hands? Calloused and rough from years of honest physical labor.

Adam: You're a part-time barista.

Ian: You know what burns more than coffee? The scalding words of privilege to working class ears.

Adam: Later, Ian.



Narrator: This lower division course should be a cakewalk. Scheduling conflicts caused you to skip it for the past three years. Admittingly, you are stoked about taking this class, unlike the stressed-out freshmen and sophmores around, you can just sit back and relax. Funny, now that you're a senior, they all look so young. You hear a kid behind you whisper, 'I hear the professor is supposed to be really good.'

Narrator: Just then, the door swings open and a man walks past you towards the lectern.



 
meh. Don't date your teacher, that's just asking for trouble
 
WonkeyDong said:
can you romance the female room mate?
Click to expand...
Since it's a gay VN game, there isn't, but you can romance Ian (the male roommate).

Alex: I thought we'd start Intro to Human Anatomy with a simple question? Has anyone ever broken a bone?

Narrator: Alex, er, Professor Davies begins his lecture. Despite the dry subject matter, he manages to get the class laughing. You sit in disbelief, trying to retrieve your jaw from the floor. As your classmates listen attentively, you squirm in your chair, sinking lower and lower. You're hoping your 13-inch laptop is enough to shield you from his gaze. You cling to the hope that he won't recognize you among the sea of faces. As for class, maybe you'll borrow Ian's notes after all. Because there's no way in Hell you'll be able to concentrate now.

You manage to sit through the longest ninety minutes of your life. As you fumble to get your stuff together, you nearly drop your laptop. Your hands feel disconnected from you brain, but somehow you manage to finally stuff everything into your backpack. As you stumble towards the exit, you hear a voice call out to you.

Alex: Philbert! Wait. That's not really your name, is it? I didn't see it on the roster.

Narrator: You sigh, you guess it's time to come clean. He's your professor; he'll find out your name sooner or later.

Adam: No, it's not. My name is actually Adam.

Alex: Can we talk privately for a moment, Adam? My office is right down the hall.

Narrator: You feel your stomach drop and your heart start to race. You hope to God that Alex can't tell how nervous you are. A faint whiff of his aftershave hits your nostrils, making you feel lightheaded. As if on cue, your mind races with a dozen different scenarios.

Alex: Adam, I had no idea you attended this school. I couldn't fathom that a student would be at a bar so far from campus. Especially on a night right before the first day of classes. I should've realized this was the only gay bar in town; a total miscalculation on my part. But I want to assure you as your professor, it would be totaly inappropriate to pursue things any further. Listen, Adam, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to scare you off. I teach a pretty mean anatomy class if I do say so myself. I think the class will be well worth it. And so, have I made things awkward enough between us yet?

 
The second one. Let's not Dead End ourselves just yet.
 
Alex: Listen to that enthusiasm. Well, I think you will enjoy my class despite our precipitous start. Anyway, thanks for chatting with me, Adam. I'll see you next lecture.

Narrator: You head feels like it's taken too many rides on the merry-go-round. Boy, what a distracting way to start the semester. You hear footsteps and a voice coming around the corner.

Man: '-it's being retracted?' Insufficient evidence? According to whom? Oh I do apologize for my severe tone, but you must understand, the data-

Narrator: A heavy leather heel slams right down on your foot.

Adam: Ow!



Adam: What the hell? You slammed down on my foot!

Man: That's what happens when you don't pay attention, son! Wait! Wait! Wait! I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to some mouth-breather. Wait, splendid timing, you clod!

Narrator: Before you can respond, the man storms off, tapping furiously on his phone. As you recollect your thoughts, a flash of light nearly blinds you.

Penny: There you are.

 
Well he seems charming. We should definitely go for his route if it exists.
The first choice.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
HinRai said:
Well he seems charming. We should definitely go for his root if it exists.
The first choice.
Click to expand...
While the balding guy isn't dateable, he does have a strong role in Alex's route. (It would've been kind fun though.) Though Amos fits the older guy with slight eccentricities niche.

Penny: Don't be such a Luddite, Adam. I have to test my app in different lighting environments. Just remember, as my lead beta tester, you get the PRO access version of Tanning Spray as soon as its out.

Adam: And here I thought the LITE version was enough for little ol' me.

Penny: I was waiting for you after class, but you took off with some dude.

Adam: Oh, that's my professor.

Penny: Whoa. I didn't know Norse gods stooped to teaching undergrads. Hmmm, I wonder if it's not too late to trade majors?

Adam: Actually-

 
Tell her about it. Surely that will go well.
 
Adam: Not only is he my professor, he was at the bar last night. And he hit on me.

Penny: Hoo boy! Good one, Adam!

Adam: I'm not joking.



Penny: What? You never mentioned this.

Adam: Well...

Penny: Anyway, I don't believe you.

Adam: ...

Penny: You're not joking?

Adam: ...

Penny: Oh my God! Bwahahaha! That's hilarious! Sounds like a set up for a porno. Adam Sandler stars in 'Anatomy is Hard'. A struggling student tries to make the grade with his professor. Bow chicka wow wow.

Adam: Now I remember why I should've kept my mouth shut.

Penny: So when's the hot date? Or should I say, 'office hours'?

Adam: Never. He'd get fired.

Penny: He's not up for a little action on the side?

Adam: Look, even if he wanted more, he wouldn't go for that. Alex seems like the kind of guy that would do that.

Penny: Alex? Already with a first name basis with him, eh?

Adam: Er, Professor Davies.

Penny: But I see where you're saying, Adam. The whole thing would smack of unprofessionalism. Bwahaha!

Narrator: You spend the next few days listening to your professors introduce themselves and their subjects.

Thursday...

Adam: So should we head to the cafe for lunch?

Penny: Hold on, Adam. Take a whiff, romance is all around us.

Adam: All I smell is dank weed and Ian's feet after he borrowed my shoes.

Adam: Here's the deal. Philbert is kind of shy, but otherwise a really sweet guy. He's just misunderstood like you always claim to be.

Adam: Philbert? Who's Philbert?

Penny: My cousin. I'll be picking him up from the airport next week. I'm thinking we could all have brunch together, because you guys would get along soooo well.

Adam: Penny, you know how much I value our friendship, but your gene pool scares me.

Penny: Hey, I was just joking.

Adam: No you weren't.

Penny: You're right, I wasn't. I was just asking you to hang out wi-



Since Philbert is one of the possible guys you can end up with, what do you think he looks like? (Assuming you haven't looked it up online.)
 
No idea, but let's go for it.
 
Is he the goldfish? Or some other horrific monstrosity? Either way, I say go for it.
 
Penny: Sweet! You won't be sorry, Adam. Not only was he the president of the chess club in high school, but he plays a pretty mean bassoon. He knows how to work that mouth of his.

Adam: Ok, wow. I didn't need to hear that from you.

Penny: Let's go grab lunch, Mr. Crankypants. I hope Ian's saved us something good today.

Narrator: Open until two in the morning, Jojo's Cafe is popular to students doing all nighters for their exams. and students pretending to cram just so they can check out the other students. Ian works there as a barista. You and Penny come here every Tuesday for the student-priced Otter Special.

Ian: Guys, I have awesome news.

Adam: You got into the research program in South America?

Ian: No, dude. I just got dumped before I had to help Zoe move!

Penny: Well congrats. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.

Ian: I need you guys to do a favor, though. Zoe wants to drop off some of my things this afternoon. But I'm stuck here working 'til eight. Will either of you guys be back around five?

Penny: You'll have to ask, Adam. My comp's got some virus, so I got to get to the lab early tonight, before the pervert making the porn game gets there.

Ian: Adam, buddy, you'll be around there about five, right?

 
Ian: You're a lifesaver, dude. You know, if I do get into that grad program, you totally have to visit me and spend a few weeks down there. You, me, South America, it's going to be amazing.

Dirk: Well, it could happen if I can save $800 for the airfare by the end of the semester.

Ian: The invitation is also open to you, Miss Zuckerberg. Though there won't be any wifi where we're going.

Penny: A month in the rainforest with you? I predict in two days a troop of macaques will hold you ransom for a bushel of bananas. Thanks, but no thanks.

Ian: Only one bushel? That's fucked up!

Dirk: Personally I'd say you're worth two bushels.

Penny: Alright, enough chit-chat you monkeys. I'm starving. Let's see the special.

Later...

Narrator: Running into Zoe always made you a tad nervous.



You and Zoe have been friendly, if awkward acquaintances. Zoe is right on the dot. As you let her in, she drops off a cardboard box



Dirk: Hi Zoe.

Zoe: I can't believe the amount of crap Ian left at my house. I had to find a box for the dildos alone.

Dirk: Dildos? Heh, that Ian.

Zoe: (smiles) Didlos, plugs, vibrators, beads. You'd think he'd only need two at the most, but that guy's got an insatiable appetite for sex toys.

Dirk: With all those toys, Ian must've kept you pretty happy.

Zoe: Are you kidding? I got plenty of my own, thank you very much! Those were for his pleasure.

Dirk: Oh, heh. I guess we like what we all like.

Zoe: Normally, I gotta convince a guy to take a finger or two, before they discover they really like it. But, Christ, I never had any guy begging me to give it to him like he did. Or call dibs on my anal vibrator. After a while, I got so sick of arguing with him, that I told him, look you need to start buying your own. It wasn't long before he amassed a collection worthy of the Smithsonian.



Zoe: Yo ok, hon. They're thoroughly sterilized if that's what you're worried about. By the way, I'm running my gallery outside of my loft now. I've got a very naughty one with lots of sexy ladies; I think you'll like it. Stop by if you can, ok?

Narrator: Zoe leaves. It seems that the cardboard box is beckoning you.
 
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