Let's Players originating from Something Awful - ft. VoidBurger, General Ironicus, Bob Kamoc

[Adamska]

Now that Id lore is all the rage, I can go back and post this pre-meltdown, post-daughter death story. This was August 10 2019, and is a story about the origin of Id's PSN name and his modern internet name, which also features shitting on the glowies, except for the female one, who he saved by carrying her, and she was getting headshots while riding on him.
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Cutoff from the image is a link to this video, the song he "aced several dozen men to"

This is one of the only pre-Ukraine mode Id stories I can find in the dump, but it is noticably more coherent, including the use of actual quotation marks. On one hand, the depiction of the incompetent chain of command sounds reasonable, but the way he writes it like an action scene just rubs me the wrong way. I think this is halfway between true and false, especially the story about the psych major. There probably was a major who said the phrase "dark id" but the timeline just feels wrong.

Spoiler: Timeline Autism

Checking the LParchive and the thread dates, Id started doing screenshot LPs in 2007, had a gap in ~April 2008, and came back with Drakengard in 2009. The next gap is after Metal Gear Ghost Babel, There IS a very small timeframe where the Agent Grave story could have happened, at which point id returns to a position where he can both make Lets Plays over the next 3 years, take another hiatus from 2012-2015 where he can bolster his military career enough to do security for politicians.
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Imagine being so goddamn retarded you need to LARP as a guy better than the SEALs and think people believe you. And then imagine being so stupid you fall for this special needs person's blatant and hideously obvious lies.

 

[Ghostse]

Now that Id lore is all the rage, I can go back and post this pre-meltdown, post-daughter death story. This was August 10 2019, and is a story about the origin of Id's PSN name and his modern internet name, which also features shitting on the glowies, except for the female one, who he saved by carrying her, and she was getting headshots while riding on him.
View attachment 3343149

I know I don't need to, but I cannot help myself.

- "SEAL guys are fucking terrible" said no one in the history of ever. While there are assholes everywhere, SEAL dudes are usually chill as fuck. Its that sort of "I know I have a 12 inch dick and don't need to join the autistic dick measuring contest at the other end of the bar".

-RPG-7 to the face. No one in the history of actual combat people have called it a RPG-7. A human is to too squishy to set off the detonator of an RPG round, so I'm very curious as exactly how this CIA guy supposedly died, as the usual "not in the blast radius but still a casualty" is from the exhaust and most of those are idiots standing near a launcher who was too stupid to clear his rear. If he'd been hit by an RPG to the face it probably would have put him on his ass and smashed his facial bones, but he'd probably be alive enough to evac.
CIA guys also never ID themselves as "agent" outside of CONUS, definitely not to anyone outside the CIA, and definitely wouldn't do so on an active mission where there's shooting. Because the minute there is a living witness who heard you ID yourself as 'agent' there is no plausible deniability that you are a soldier (entitled to geneva protections) or just a citizen caught up in some shit. This means that foreign agents don't have to make discrete inquiries before disappearing you into a deep, dark hole for spies.
CIA dudes in the field are either given some bogus military ID & rank, or just sent along, but international rules of war mean if bullets are flying they will almost certainly be in uniform and just stick to the fiction.

- "She rode on my back and headshotted everything" jesus fucking christ.
Lets ignore how hard a headshot is to pull of on a stationary target, let alone one that is moving and shooting back. Now try to do that while injured and being carried piggyback.

Also there is no way anyone would be around for the death of 5 separate CIA agents. They would likely never use you again after the death of the first, and if you were in uniformed services something that went wrong enough a person you were told "PROTECT THAT MAN" died, you are likely going to find yourself reassigned with a letter about you sucking ass at keeping people alive in your file. AKA Pogtopia awaits.

 

[Rhysuu]

Does anyone have a picture of Dark Id around? I never watched his LPs back in the day so this is new to me, is he as big burly and badass as he sounds? I bet he looks just like Hoss Delgato

 

[CptnSnshn]

I know I don't need to, but I cannot help myself.

- "SEAL guys are fucking terrible" said no one in the history of ever. While there are assholes everywhere, SEAL dudes are usually chill as fuck. Its that sort of "I know I have a 12 inch dick and don't need to join the autistic dick measuring contest at the other end of the bar".

-RPG-7 to the face. No one in the history of actual combat people have called it a RPG-7. A human is to too squishy to set off the detonator of an RPG round, so I'm very curious as exactly how this CIA guy supposedly died, as the usual "not in the blast radius but still a casualty" is from the exhaust and most of those are idiots standing near a launcher who was too stupid to clear his rear. If he'd been hit by an RPG to the face it probably would have put him on his ass and smashed his facial bones, but he'd probably be alive enough to evac.
CIA guys also never ID themselves as "agent" outside of CONUS, definitely not to anyone outside the CIA, and definitely wouldn't do so on an active mission where there's shooting. Because the minute there is a living witness who heard you ID yourself as 'agent' there is no plausible deniability that you are a soldier (entitled to geneva protections) or just a citizen caught up in some shit. This means that foreign agents don't have to make discrete inquiries before disappearing you into a deep, dark hole for spies.
CIA dudes in the field are either given some bogus military ID & rank, or just sent along, but international rules of war mean if bullets are flying they will almost certainly be in uniform and just stick to the fiction.

- "She rode on my back and headshotted everything" jesus fucking christ.
Lets ignore how hard a headshot is to pull of on a stationary target, let alone one that is moving and shooting back. Now try to do that while injured and being carried piggyback.

Also there is no way anyone would be around for the death of 5 separate CIA agents. They would likely never use you again after the death of the first, and if you were in uniformed services something that went wrong enough a person you were told "PROTECT THAT MAN" died, you are likely going to find yourself reassigned with a letter about you sucking ass at keeping people alive in your file. AKA Pogtopia awaits.

Are you saying there may be some inaccuracies in the autistc childlike ramblings of this grown man deseperate for attention and some, any kind of respect?

Say it ain't so!

 

[BlueSpark]

I was actually looking forward to VB's retarded take as well, but she decided to hold back and just retweet some columnist whining about Amber losing. It's a real shame.

Famous people like VoidBurger are too busy to comment on such trivial matters



Slowbeef looks like he's lost a lot of weight and, besides the retarded haircut, is looking pretty good:

 

[ProfDongs]

His head looks tiny

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

His head looks tiny

That's because it's been shooped. As with nearly every weight loss pic the past 20 years, the subject's missing fat warps spacetime and forces the light reflecting off walls and other normally straight objects to bend.



Also, are those gravy stains on his shoulder?

 

[The Fatriarchy]

That's because it's been shooped. As with nearly every weight loss pic the past 20 years, the subject's missing fat warps spacetime and forces the light reflecting off walls and other normally straight objects to bend.

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Also, are those gravy stains on his shoulder?

It's just a shitty wall. A lot of people have those. Even I have a trashy wall that isn't straight.

 

[Something Awful]

Anyway, I've been scrolling through the Dark id's Discord logs that someone posted earlier, and I no longer think he's just doing the LARP for fun, like a continuation of his LP schtick. No, he's actually a full-time schizo internet tough guy, and 100% serious about it. Some highlights:

"I have three guns and a knife on me. I pulled out two guns and a knife. Hard backdown."

"This frail old man called me a faggot for wearing a Darth Vader covid mask, so I threw his phone in a creek. I'M CHAOS PASSING THROUGH. Backdown? Immense."

"I murdered a goose and put it in the trash can. Because it was fucking dead."

"Racist much? Well how would you like it if I stole your car and parked it on a dune so you get a $5000 fine?"

"I could walk into a room and kill everyone in it."

"It would be a real shame if anything happened to these plague protesters..............."

The guy is legit batshit insane, and now that Lowtax is dead, he's my favorite SA crazy. Can't wait to see how the saga continues to unfold.




<blank stare, in an 80s action movie sort of way>

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Anyway, I've been scrolling through the Dark id's Discord logs that someone posted earlier, and I no longer think he's just doing the LARP for fun, like a continuation of his LP schtick. No, he's actually a full-time schizo internet tough guy, and 100% serious about it. Some highlights:

"I have three guns and a knife on me. I pulled out two guns and a knife. Hard backdown."
View attachment 3346724

"This frail old man called me a faggot for wearing a Darth Vader covid mask, so I threw his phone in a creek. I'M CHAOS PASSING THROUGH. Backdown? Immense."
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"I murdered a goose and put it in the trash can. Because it was fucking dead."
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"Racist much? Well how would you like it if I stole your car and parked it on a dune so you get a $5000 fine?"
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"I could walk into a room and kill everyone in it."
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"It would be a real shame if anything happened to these plague protesters..............."

View attachment 3346808


The guy is legit batshit insane, and now that Lowtax is dead, he's my favorite SA crazy. Can't wait to see how the saga continues to unfold.




<blank stare>
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He's woke John Doe from 7even.

 

[Ververg]

Anyway, I've been scrolling through the Dark id's Discord logs that someone posted earlier, and I no longer think he's just doing the LARP for fun, like a continuation of his LP schtick. No, he's actually a full-time schizo internet tough guy, and 100% serious about it. Some highlights:

"I have three guns and a knife on me. I pulled out two guns and a knife. Hard backdown."
View attachment 3346724

"This frail old man called me a faggot for wearing a Darth Vader covid mask, so I threw his phone in a creek. I'M CHAOS PASSING THROUGH. Backdown? Immense."
View attachment 3346751

"I murdered a goose and put it in the trash can. Because it was fucking dead."
View attachment 3346771

"Racist much? Well how would you like it if I stole your car and parked it on a dune so you get a $5000 fine?"
View attachment 3346796

"I could walk into a room and kill everyone in it."
View attachment 3346803

"It would be a real shame if anything happened to these plague protesters..............."

View attachment 3346808


The guy is legit batshit insane, and now that Lowtax is dead, he's my favorite SA crazy. Can't wait to see how the saga continues to unfold.




<blank stare>
View attachment 3346814

I love what happens after that ER waiting room story, where Number Two does anime poses and smokes in an active warzone.

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Holy shit. What a cringey faggot.

 

[Nod Flenders]

Famous people like VoidBurger are too busy to comment on such trivial matters

I don't know what's more terrifying, Void thinking she's famous, or the fact she's retweeting a shit take from someone who has Betty Deville as their profile pic.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Anyway, I've been scrolling through the Dark id's Discord logs that someone posted earlier, and I no longer think he's just doing the LARP for fun, like a continuation of his LP schtick. No, he's actually a full-time schizo internet tough guy, and 100% serious about it. Some highlights:

All these Dark posts are gold, can't believe I haven't heard of him sooner.

I think my favorite part with the first group of posts is how hard he's trying to LARP as a tough ass supersoldier but he becomes out looking like a massive pussy.

First: He threatens to go outside to fight a random dad, but only after pulling two guns and a knife in the middle of a hospital with seemingly no consequences, because that's a thing. I don't think you're particularly brave if you mention you need multiple firearms and a knife to fight someone in a parking lot. It's also just incredibly poor discipline for a super soldier. Maybe this is more of a local thing but the common rule of thumb for guns is (usually) if you take your gun out, you're ready to use it. It's not a toy or prop, and you certainly don't use it to threaten someone to try and deescalate a situation. In no small part because the other person could also be armed.

Second: Someone that, in his own words, is a frail old guy says something about him wearing a mask, so he grabs his phone and throws it. Then when he leaves, he props the old guy back up, implying he was so frail he can't stand without assistance. Yeah, you're the real badass for winning that one. What's the next act of badassery, going to jump cancer treatment patients as they walk out of chemo?

Third one: Starts with him punting a chihuahua because it was near his totally real kid. When she complains, he threatens to kill the dog and warns her if she calls the cops, he'll say the dog was attacking his kid. This one is almost close to being a bad story instead of an outrageously bad story. All he had to do was not pick the literal smallest dog breed. But then he talks about how he wrestled a goose once after it did the same thing. Because apparently after punching it full force, it still went after his daughter. Because birds are famously known for being aggressive predators that when attacked, famously not only run away, but seemingly return with absolutely no hostile intentions.

Fourth: Someone was super racist, but I guess he wasn't a frail elderly man, hospital visitor or tiny dog because our man of action, instead of confronting them, moved their car and reported it so they'd get a ticket. Real Captain America move there, he's most famous for parking nazi cars in fire lanes, right? This one might actually be the worst because confronting racists is usually widely accepted and believed in fanfiction, but he's apparently too much of a pussy to confront the racist dude to call him out, and he has to rely on the police, which people in his circle usually regard as equal to or worse than racists. Oh, and he does try to follow it up with tough guy talk about how they need to suffer and learn or get their faces smashed in, despite being too much of a pussy to confront them directly in this story.

Fifth: I mean, show me a picture of anyone and I'm sure I could say "with a gun, sniper team and explosives, I could kill all these guys." It probably wouldn't take me a full 30 seconds to come to that conclusion. Without seeing the picture, can't really comment more, but since he doesn't mention them being armed, I'm going to assume this is another case of murdering a bunch of unarmed normies.

Sixth: Needs a literal army backing him to deal with people commenting on Facebook or Twitter or whatever.

Seventh: Nothing to really work with so...idk, so much of a pussy he's too scared to even make a strawman in this scenario.

 

[CptnSnshn]

Because apparently after punching it full force, it still went after his daughter. Because birds are famously known for being aggressive predators that when attacked, famously not only run away, but seemingly return with absolutely no hostile intentions.

Bones are also well known for having very strong bones that help them fly by being very dense and filled with heavy rock like marrow, this makes they huge fans of blunt force.

 

[Ghostse]

But then he talks about how he wrestled a goose once after it did the same thing. Because apparently after punching it full force, it still went after his daughter. Because birds are famously known for being aggressive predators that when attacked, famously not only run away, but seemingly return with absolutely no hostile intentions.

This is the only one of his stories I'll mostly believe. Geese are aggressive little assholes.Assuming this went down about like he said, he probably punched the goose weakly, it kept coming, but I'll believe he definitely grabbed a goose by its neck and morningstarred it into the ground until dead.

While I applaud killing geese, imagine being so much of a small dick you have to talk about the time you went full force on a goose like it makes you a bad ass.

 

[Adamska]

This is the only one of his stories I'll mostly believe. Geese are aggressive little assholes.Assuming this went down about like he said, he probably punched the goose weakly, it kept coming, but I'll believe he definitely grabbed a goose by its neck and morningstarred it into the ground until dead.

While I applaud killing geese, imagine being so much of a small dick you have to talk about the time you went full force on a goose like it makes you a bad ass.

You say this, but honestly I'm calling him a complete liar out of principle, meaning none of his stories have any veracity. Instead, I'll raise that at best he ran away crying, pants filled with shit because a goose kicked his ass.

Dark Id's pathetic power fantasies should always be mocked, for only children and speds lie this much and this badly.

 

[LoverofPi]

Fourth: Someone was super racist, but I guess he wasn't a frail elderly man, hospital visitor or tiny dog because our man of action, instead of confronting them, moved their car and reported it so they'd get a ticket. Real Captain America move there, he's most famous for parking nazi cars in fire lanes, right? This one might actually be the worst because confronting racists is usually widely accepted and believed in fanfiction, but he's apparently too much of a pussy to confront the racist dude to call him out, and he has to rely on the police, which people in his circle usually regard as equal to or worse than racists. Oh, and he does try to follow it up with tough guy talk about how they need to suffer and learn or get their faces smashed in, despite being too much of a pussy to confront them directly in this story.

Adding to this shit, he's talking about coastal sand dunes, which you aren't supposed to park on because of coastal erosion, so to combat a racist, he passively aggressively causes ecological damage on purpose to fuck with someone. That's incredibly shitty. Good thing it's entirely made up.

Now I'm wondering if Id's always been this delusional or if this is a recent development, like how schizophrenia develops in older men who were otherwise fairly normal beforehand.

 

[Mooger Meng]

Adding to this shit, he's talking about coastal sand dunes, which you aren't supposed to park on because of coastal erosion, so to combat a racist, he passively aggressively causes ecological damage on purpose to fuck with someone. That's incredibly shitty. Good thing it's entirely made up.

Now I'm wondering if Id's always been this delusional or if this is a recent development, like how schizophrenia develops in older men who were otherwise fairly normal beforehand.

Probably a little of both, like most Branch Covidians who have lost the plot over the last couple of years. Given they way he's been talking, I'll bet he not only took the bait on the coof, but swallowed the pole, the fisherman, and the boat the poor fucker was riding in, retreated even further into his online bubble/persona, and lost most of his grip on reality in the interim between then and now.

It'd be tragic if he wasn't an insufferable retard.

 

[Woke Capitalism]

Adding to this shit, he's talking about coastal sand dunes, which you aren't supposed to park on because of coastal erosion, so to combat a racist, he passively aggressively causes ecological damage on purpose to fuck with someone. That's incredibly shitty. Good thing it's entirely made up.

Now I'm wondering if Id's always been this delusional or if this is a recent development, like how schizophrenia develops in older men who were otherwise fairly normal beforehand.

If you read his prior LPs, he would usually have a random digression during a boring part of the game where he would tell stories. I think one of them had his "daughter" doing the whole update with MSPaint style drawings and whatnot. It seems like this was always in him, but Covid seems to have made him go off the deep end. I'm glad that he's single handedly winning the war in Ukraine though, good for him. Er, I mean Number Two. She's the shit, I hear.