Let's talk about Chris sins.

[The Dude]

We don't need to get mean about it, but seeing as how Chris is religious (in his own way) he has sinned. He's taken the Lord's name in vain, blasphemed, judged others, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride just to name a few. Even his tomgirlism is a sin in Christian religion. Just look up Deuteronomy 22:5, and we all know how much Chris loves Deuteronomy.

What else can you think of, at least in the Judeo-Christian traditions and beliefs? Please keep it civil.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

If Chris thinks God is trolling him now, wait until he goes straight to the depths of Hell.

Hmmm.

 

[AtroposHeart]

The way he talks about God is enough to get him struck down by Old Testament times. The Bible has a lot to say about people not being grateful to God and getting punished for it.

 

[Stuff and Things]

He doesn't show respect for his mother and deceased father...

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Taken from a purely Anglo-Judeo-Christian standpoint?

Assault upon Michael Snyder with his car.
Blasphemy.
Cheating on girlfriends (cybering with Vanessa Hudgens while seeing Ivy).
Claiming to be a prophet.
Constructing false idols.
Crossdressing, both in his mother's underwear and Tomgirl.
Debauchery.
Drunkeness via Long Island Iced Tea and Kahula.
Eating pork (I assume he has at least once.)
Failure to conduct personal hygiene before entering a house of worship.
Failure to honor his mother and his father.
Failure to observe the Christian Sabbath (Sunday) and keeping it Holy.
Gluttony, via eating too many q-sands.
Listening to un-Christian music.
Lust for a neighbor's belongings (Kacey).
Lust for PS3 games and china.
Lying to girlfriends, lying about his finances, lying to save face, lying to Kacey about being Liquid Chris, the list goes on and on.
Pornography, both by looking at it and producing it.
Pride (his ego).
Sex before marriage with the hooker.
Sorcery.
Stealing his parents credit cards.
Suffering from homoerotic lust (Chris has said that images of men's butts crop into his mind unbidden.)
Swearing.
Taking the Lord's name in vain.
Trespassing on the Game Place and probably Wal-Mart.
Vandalism of X-Box displays and Magic Mike DVDs.
Wearing fabric of two different clothes (cotton with elastic in )

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

We need the picture of Jesus facepalming to truly make this thread.

Another one of Chris's sins not mentioned in PM's list is that he isn't going to church. Not going to church to protest the congregation not hooking him up with a sweetheart has to be one of the dumbest sins out there.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Is he still dabbling in Wicca? Idolatry is a pretty good way to make Emmanuel God mad, and when He gets mad, He starts trolling.

 

[Globe]

I don't think it's technically a sin since it's actually the second commandment, but making a false idol of god and then torturing it has to be the most autistic sacrilege imaginable.

 

[CatParty]

being born

 

[snowkitten91]

"Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone".

Chris would surely throw that first stone.

Also:

We need the picture of Jesus facepalming to truly make this thread.

And I've got the perfect example for it

Spoiler

 

[CatParty]

Romans 3:23

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

 

[Pikonic]

I think the big one is cursing people.
Brace yourselves, I'm quoting a phone call again. This is from ABL call 8 from the CWCki.

Alec: So you're saying gay people go to hell? Um, so are you, you're a Christian, then? If you believe that?

Chris: Yeah.

Alec: What, um, like... You know, it's been a while since I've read a Bible, where in the Bible is that whole gays-go-to-hell thing?

Chris: It's implied within parts of the Bible.

Alec: Well, it's, understandably it's implied in parts of the Bible, I'm asking where. I'm not a Christian, so I don't have to read the Bible, but you're a Christian, when's the last time you read the Bible?

Chris: Yeah, I have read the Bible, but...

Alec: You're sitting here judging people based off their sexuality without even knowing, like, you know, what parts of the Bible... Hey, hey, um, you know what else the Bible condemns? Black magic.

Chris: [long pause] So?

Alec: How many times have you tried to curse people? Cursing is black magic. Curse-ye-ha-me-ha?

Chris: Yeah. I get it. It get, I get what you're saying right now.

Chris is what the Vatican calls a "cafeteria Christian" he only takes parts he likes and leaves the rest. That's how he can justify hating homosexuals while eating pork, having pre-marital sex with a harlot, lying to his late father, etc.
Look at ABL call 9

Alec: Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

Chris: [shifts to a grim, offended tone] I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

Alec: No, no you're not. You don't practice... Baptism doesn't mean shit. You don't even try to practice what Christianity teaches.

Chris: Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

Alec: Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

Chris: Of course, there's a whole lots of, to memorize, and, and it's...

Alec: [mockingly] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

Chris: ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

Alec: But you worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works. God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

Sorry it's TLR, but it really hits the point home.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I'm eager for him to return to church, so that he can start vandalizing their bibles with pictures of brassier wearing muscle men.

 

[Mr. 0]

Chris has no sins. Everyone else does. Hell, he's not a Christian, he's the Christian, TRUE and HONEST.

 

[Ahffline]

Chris is the clearest example of someone who has committed all of the Seven Deadly Sins. In Dante's Inferno, there would have to be another ring added specifically for Chris.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Chris is the clearest example of someone who has committed all of the Seven Deadly Sins. In Dante's Inferno, there would have to be another ring added specifically for Chris.

It already exists. It's called 14 Branchland Court.

 

[asperhes]

I'm eager for him to return to church, so that he can start vandalizing their bibles with pictures of brassier wearing muscle men.

He'll whip out his Sharpie and draw a bra on the statue of the crucified Christ at the front of the church.

 

[The Dude]

Chris is the clearest example of someone who has committed all of the Seven Deadly Sins. In Dante's Inferno, there would have to be another ring added specifically for Chris.

It already exists. It's called 14 Branchland Court.

So does that make Barb Balphomet or Belial?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Chris must have committed a shit ton of sins in his previous life. That's why Emmanuel God gave him the finger by giving him autism in this one.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

IIRC, in Dante's Inferno this clucking monster guards the greedy. Virgil rebukes him and he deflates.

Cerberus, the three-headed hound of hell, guards the gluttons. Virgil feeds him a bunch of mud so they can pass through.

Barb could be either one, and greed and gluttony are both of Chris's more prominent sins (the other one being sloth).