Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Aunt Carol]

In the months since I've set about establishing a brain trust. I picked out the other women in the group and, to put it bluntly, TERFed them. I walked them through the things he was about to do, how his behavior fits into disturbing known patterns (he waited for his wife to give birth, he was clearly attempting to become certain women in the group, etc.) how reactive and crazy he had become since COVID and how, most importantly, there is no need for women to carry the burden of a crazy man they barely know. It worked better than expected. I shouldn't have bothered trying it on the guys, none of them got upset with me but they all went "well, why be skeptical? Let's just be nice." I probably should have expected that but god forbid I expect male feminists to listen to women.

Being completely honest, you should anonymize your story, put it into a How To with bullet points, and send out stapled photocopies of it when people mail you a SASE.

You were observant enough to catch someone trying to destroy a pleasant social group for his own solo gratification, and took proactive steps to keep one person from ruining everyone's nice time. This is an inspiring story, and if it weren't for the magic word "trans" you wouldn't feel that niggling guilt.

 

[Punitive Castration]

Being completely honest, you should anonymize your story, put it into a How To with bullet points, and send out stapled photocopies of it when people mail you a SASE.

You were observant enough to catch someone trying to destroy a pleasant social group for his own solo gratification, and took proactive steps to keep one person from ruining everyone's nice time. This is an inspiring story, and if it weren't for the magic word "trans" you wouldn't feel that niggling guilt.

SASE?

I don't really feel guilt about this, it's more like when you almost kill a spider but it manages to go someplace you can't reach it. I assume he probably does most of his troon socializing over the internet, so as we speak he's probably being told what a terf I am (despite never saying anything to him) and how he's totally entitled to come back dressed like a pornstar just as soon as he has the spoons to do so.

Just knowing he won't come unless there are very specific circumstances should be good enough, but I'm still up on that turret waiting. Unable to rest because there's no one to take my watch.

I've actually detransitioned someone in his exact position before. He was babbling on and on about the hentai merch he was collecting, but when he mentioned buying a body pillow I asked, not realizing how critical my timing was, "are you going to put it away when you have your daughter for the day?"
"What?"
"You're just going to have a porn pillow sitting out where your daughter can see it?"

Within a week he had detransitioned and junked a ton of his stuff. Would that more guys, or at least the guy I'm dealing with now, had that sense of paternal duty.

 

[Aunt Carol]

SASE?

Self-addressed stamped envelope. I'm very old; sorry. You'd send an SASE to Anne Landers for her pamphlet on What to Say When Someone Is Grieving, or to Heloise for more tips about using nylon net.

Just knowing he won't come unless there are very specific circumstances should be good enough, but I'm still up on that turret waiting. Unable to rest because there's no one to take my watch.

This is the hard part. We don't need all women to "become TERFs" or anything, just the normal folks to be able to see past the PR and identify a maladaptive man preying on female socialization.

 

[PinstripeLuns]

Two stories:

I used to walk home everyday from school to another bus stop with a friend called M and she was always very calm and kind, no mental illnesses, good grades, bit of a musical kid. She became he midway through year eleven (eleventh grade for you yanks) and he planned to land a proper job in theatre after completing uni, haven't spoken in ages so I don't know if he's (I'm using he because this seems legit) doing OK. I genuinely hope he doesn't go for treatment because he passes as is.

On the other end of the spectrum, once when we were walking home someone yelled "faggot" at me and M. That was E. E had more faces than a town clock and was constantly causing drama, came from a broken home, was a furry whose art never improved, and generally a massive drama queen. I was friends with E for years until she finally tried to start drama with me, told her to get fucked. After M transitioned, so did E. E had always been trying to leech herself off of M and would refer to his family as her own, much to M's discomfort, probably due to her own poor home life.

E spiraled drastically after school ended. Whilst most kids were going to sixth form (college at school), college, or into the workplace, E stayed at home on her fat ass drawing shitty furry art and acting like a massive drama whore. Now with drugs! Weed, coke, ket, lean, name it and she's done it, and also given it to her underage girlfriend T. T has depression and last I heard she got back together with E, even though E has groomed her for fucking years. I see T around a lot, and she knows me as the big bad who dared misgender her partner... Who has now has gone back to wearing femmine clothing. Whether E has detransitioned or not I have no clue and honestly don't care. I just want T to be safe. We're all adults but she's still a good few years young enough to be less experienced. I hope she leaves E for good.

E uses everything she can for pity, and so does her friend group, they're a bunch of e-whores who hang around a skatepark and piss off the skaters by lighting fires and doing drugs (skaters don't mind a little weed, but they're doing more), they all used to be edgy, n-word with a hard r using shit heads but now they're uber woke sensitive commies. Surprised the world hasn't eaten them up yet, these are supposed to be teenage phases.

 

[KandinskyCandle]

It's definitely true. Probably one of the cringiest things I had to do was when he came and sat down with myself and another woman while we were talking. We couldn't have done more to display "this is a private conversation" barring huddling with our arms locked but he came up anyway, and I wasn't about to break the silent treatment to invite him in out of social obligation just because he sat down. So I refused to turn in his direction, and I abruptly changed topics to talk about someone he didn't know so he wouldn't be able to participate and then kept on that topic until he fucked off.

I felt awkward, of course, and it was embarrassing for me, but short of turning to him and shouting "NO" it was about all I could really do. I think by now he wouldn't ever try that again, that was still when he was testing my boundaries.

Male bystanders of course have no awareness of this, subconsciously I think they would have looked at the two of us and thought "those girls are having a private conversation" and not butted in but I wouldn't expect them to reflect on what it means for a man to shove himself into that.

I'm a little sleazy so I only ever do these things one-on-one. I usually waited until they brought him up:
"Tamitha (random name) said she's coming tonight."
"Who? George (random name) He's coming?"
"I think they go by Tamitha now."
"Well it's just you and I here, right? And he's been acting so strangely since the divorce, I don't think we should encourage this..."
"I just think we should be nice."
Usually that would be the point where the women would go "Yeah, I don't think we should encourage this" but instead I get the weirdly defensive response from guys.

That's a good idea, though, to call on them to step in if necessary. He had a major, major meltdown and shouted at someone last time I saw him, I think if I focus on that it'll be enough to position them correctly even if they refuse to say they're breaking from the TRA formation.

You mentioned there was a woman he was trying to skinwalk, maybe try working on her male friends/relatives first sort of pointing out how unsafe/Buffalo Bill it was that he was copying her. There are quite a lot of cases of men who end up murdering the women they do this too if it gets too deep. Also highlighting the meltdowns.

I think sometimes men can be a bit defensive when it comes to women outright saying they’re creeped out by a supremely awkward guy with bad boundaries, but I would try pointing out that he’s just not a person at all anymore. I’m guessing all he talks about is transition and he doesn’t take care of his kid. I’ve had more than one person I did care about transition and frankly the saddest part is that most of them just stopped being the clever inquisitive people they were, it really is like seeing a friend join a cult. But if the men weren’t that attached in the first place, pointing out that he has become uninteresting and selfish sometimes works.

I’m thinking about what has caused my male friends to peak and it was mostly people trying to egg crack them for being gender nonconforming/gay men. In one case a friend got screamed at for saying his dog was a good boy and in another a man who sent his ex girlfriend to the hospital suddenly became a True and Honest woman and everyone was just uh fine with the fact that he severely beat her all of a sudden.

I got where I’m at because I actually systematically read the medical studies and information about physical transition. If any of the men are in science/medicine that could be a good route, getting them on board with the “medical treatment” being insanely harmful first. That usually works best when it’s a child being trooned out though, but I suppose you could explain the grooming discords and the under the table estrogen stuff.

Also lastly as backup, maybe think about which friendships with the people you would want to hold onto if the group implodes and try to work on deepening those relationships if you can or creating some kind of backup? Not sure about the nature of the group, but for instance if say a subset is into hiking starting a twice a month hiking group. I think it can help with the “my social circle will be destroyed and I will be in the wilderness” feeling. I’ve had more than one social group destroyed by this stuff unfortunately (one imploded, two others had people quietly leave because of the true and honest making everything about himself) so apologies if this bit is a little unasked for, but it’s why I’m in the habit of always making sure that even if the group dies I still keep up with the people I really liked.

 

[Punitive Castration]

You mentioned there was a woman he was trying to skinwalk, maybe try working on her male friends/relatives first sort of pointing out how unsafe/Buffalo Bill it was that he was copying her. There are quite a lot of cases of men who end up murdering the women they do this too if it gets too deep. Also highlighting the meltdowns.

A good point. Her boyfriend is a bit thick but I want to believe that despite his insensitivity he should trust his girlfriend's judgement. He's more than a little slow to act when tensions are high so it really needs to be a moment where the troon is shouting at his girlfriend for him to finally move, but I'm sure he would.

I think sometimes men can be a bit defensive when it comes to women outright saying they’re creeped out by a supremely awkward guy with bad boundaries, but I would try pointing out that he’s just not a person at all anymore. I’m guessing all he talks about is transition and he doesn’t take care of his kid. I’ve had more than one person I did care about transition and frankly the saddest part is that most of them just stopped being the clever inquisitive people they were, it really is like seeing a friend join a cult. But if the men weren’t that attached in the first place, pointing out that he has become uninteresting and selfish sometimes works.

That's the funny thing, he hasn't become vocal about transition he's just kinda transitioned from someone whose autism itself is clockable to someone who acts like they would have had a special tard wrangler in school. That's what I'd lean on - not in a "let's bully the crazy man" way but a "I don't feel safe having mentally unstable people around" way. He literally started slapping himself on the head at one point and it was the first time any of us had seen him that unstable. I think he gets only four or five of those meltdowns before people run out of patience with him.

I think it's because we're still in such early days - once his hair grows out he'll try harder to talk about all these fun femme things he's cooming to. Right now his entire experience of being female is that which he gets from having a female avatar.

At least if he does try and drive a wedge he doesn't have much leverage. He really fucked up by admitting to skinwalking. That was the one person he didn't want to upset because I think we'd still retain the basic function of the social group even if he managed to pull out a few folks in his descent. He literally turned to her and went "That's why I took your name" and he may as well have typed that sentence directly into her eventual callout post.

 

[Deepland Bystander]

Incel-to-troon pipeline. Even very successful and well-liked troons can end up looking like Narcissa Wright to some degree. They become ghouls with no ambition or motivation. Once their life spirals out of control, they don't even understand what changed.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/narcissa-wright-cosmo-wright.24309

Another thing to consider is that chopping up your dick and removing your balls will destroy your libido. If it's just an AGP fetish, they will no longer be able to masturbate once they've cut off their dick... The surgery is really risky and there are many cases of troons losing the sexual thrill once their balls (testosterone) are gone, which leads to a rapid 41%. There are a few examples of that floating around the forum.

I think one part of it is that he is an awkward nerd, but he wants to be cool and irreverent and quick-witted and have everyone like him.

The characters he can think of like that are women, because he's a dude who's attracted to women so that's who he pays attention to. A male version, I dunno; top of my head, let's say Han Solo.

You can try to act cool, keeping Han Solo in the back of your mind as you try to banter, but you're hampered by being a sweaty nerd. Things to change that are hard and long-term, like working out or learning skills or paying attention to social nuance.

However, he's not thinking of Han Solo as he tries to quip. He's thinking of Sassy Anime Girl #5, and his internet friends tell him that there are pills and surgeries that can make him a girl. It's cargo cult thinking but it's seductive, the pitch that if he medically transitions, it'll also fix everything that's wrong with his personality and bring him friends.

It hasn't occurred to him that even if he could snap his fingers and magically become a woman, there are plenty of women who are homely and boring and socially awkward.

Thank you, I think I know what's going on and it infuriates me a lot because everyone around him thought of him being a sweaty troon who's basically 24/7 LARPing all the time is brave and stunning. He was actually successful in his education and career and a cool guy (albeit a bit of an self-absorbed asshole), I've been envious of him time to time and I don't know what to feel seeing him trying to tank his life to chase a fetish. I think a lot of people don't actually see it because this pipeline is a 'new' thing to my country and most progressive people see 'trans rights' as a developed country human rights thing that should be imported unquestioned or else we'd be stuck as uncivilised savages. No one is realising they're enabling addictions. I can't take anyone who take r/traaa and reddit seriously seriously.

In a way, I don't mind if it turns out that troonism ruined his life in a decade or so, because he's been an asshole and he needs reality to slap in his face.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Playing catch up, bear with me.

Call me cruel, I don’t care. I needed to get out with or without her.

I hope you don't feel too much guilt: there is a reason why your post is now highlighted.

I wish our detractors could see this thread. Most of our threads are laughing at cows but you can really feel both the hurt and the empathy here.

I almost wish they could, but the more deranged ones would say "see, they make it about THEMSELVES" and say all of our empathy is us being selfish on our feelings on trans people (who don't NEED your feelings just THEIRS), or will point blank ignore it. I think the later is more reasonable because this site can say some awful shit (imagine calling someone irl a niggerfaggot who should commit anhero - normies aren't wrong to stay away if they can't handle shit like that), but it also sucks because some people just can't turn off the blinders. Black and white thinkers will fixate on our misdeeds or bad words and not see the place as a multifaceted storm of people who argue and compromise with each other on opinions. You can try to change it, but you can't reason with them if they refuse to see.

Also, my deepest condolences. It hurts seeing anyone of your generation go early, even if you didn't like them much by the end.

Adult life is better than any gender life.

This. This right here. It's hard to convey this to the gender crowd, but damn. Good post, glad to see you and your fellow female family members do their best to escape the hard cycle of violence. Bless you guys.

Also hot damn you are eloquent. Your post is better worded than about 90% of the farms (most of us came to shitpost tbf). 10/10 would enjoy with a book club and a cup of tea again.

This thread is one of the funniest things I've seen today

I'm glad someone is getting a laugh, we need someone to remind us to laugh at our own miseries.

She's still a FtM tranny, but goes by he/him, them/they, and it/itself along with knifeself, rotself, and some other neopronoun garbage (to which my best friend went "idc wtf people want to be called, just spell that shit properly" which got a chuckle outta me).

Ha ha ha fuck her. I'm glad you're slowly cooling off on her, separating more, and focusing more on yourself and your friends. She's screwed her own pooch. You are mostly free. Continue to do such for she will only choose misery and you and your other friends have time to laugh and grow with each other.

Moe shit was a mistake and blight on humanity, and almost every TiM I know of is heavily into it. Seeing constant moe memes, avatars, and reaction images + the porn brain likely has some effect on these people.

Whenever I see something moe themed now, chances are the person is either a troon or some sort of incel, and its just such a turn off.

What the FUCK is in these moe ass animes that causes young and middle aged men to do this? Is it chemicals? Are the chemicals being put into the water making the freakin' moe fans gay?

I feel you as well. There's a few cute animes I thought about diving into for mindless fluff but nah, troon fans.

I should be upset, but they were a real piece of shit to me and others because they liked to also take the frustration of failing basic training out on others. I pushed them away but there's a part of me that wishes I could've somehow helped them. Last I checked, their whole social media feed is just Astolfo, ACAB, and memes about wanting their ass to be fucked.

It's natural to want to help someone who is on a destructive path, even if you don't like them for justified reasons. Human empathy is funny like that. He made his grave though and you must now laugh at how retarded his social media feed is because that sure is a fucking sentence to read.

How much do you think he's far gone?

I could see him getting out 2-5 years down the line if he doesn't get anything he wanted out of it. But this would be on his own time through his own conclusions. He could easily just keep going down the path due to how easy it is to keep chasing the dragon ("I could be a girl if...").

None. I don't even know any gay people.

Then again I come from an upper-middle class (not American) background and except for one all my friends' parents are still married and they had a stable upbringing.

Oh, don't worry, they'll find you.

identify a maladaptive man preying on female socialization.

We bitches really need to remember we are stronger as a group. Together, we really CAN defeat self destructive hos off our lawn.

He literally turned to her and went "That's why I took your name" and he may as well have typed that sentence directly into her eventual callout post.

You really can't write a more effective one sentence troon horror story than that. I hope you and your squad stay strong, I'm sorry this is happening again. You male friends are much too nice, I'm guessing they'll be willfully blind because they fear that one day it will happen to them like all nerd social fallacies and such. Good luck.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

"I just think we should be nice."

Not sure if it will help, but at that point in the conversation you might point out that the guy abandoned his wife and child for his own personal (wank) desires. This might resonate with normal men because they know it's a real scumbag thing to do.

He literally turned to her and went "That's why I took your name"

What the fuck. I am glad that you managed to TERF the women in the group at least, because this should not be tolerated. If I were that woman I'd start carrying a knife to any event this guy is at.

 

[WinchesterWhiskey]

More of a personal story of mine.

I was friends with one guy off one forum. He was autistic, ended up hanging around only some of the furries but when we ran table top D&D they were really cool to be around. We lost touch a few years ago and I ran back into him on steam.

They got mad at me when I asked them more out of shock and confusion, "Hold the fuck up you're a tranny now?"

They basically berated me for using "slurs" against them and then blocked me. Thing is, I know what slurs actually are, and tranny is not one of them. I'm still kind of saddened by the whole thing. It seems to always be guys on the spectrum that fall into it.

 

[ReturnedHermit]

SASE?

I don't really feel guilt about this, it's more like when you almost kill a spider but it manages to go someplace you can't reach it. I assume he probably does most of his troon socializing over the internet, so as we speak he's probably being told what a terf I am (despite never saying anything to him) and how he's totally entitled to come back dressed like a pornstar just as soon as he has the spoons to do so.

Just knowing he won't come unless there are very specific circumstances should be good enough, but I'm still up on that turret waiting. Unable to rest because there's no one to take my watch.

I've actually detransitioned someone in his exact position before. He was babbling on and on about the hentai merch he was collecting, but when he mentioned buying a body pillow I asked, not realizing how critical my timing was, "are you going to put it away when you have your daughter for the day?"
"What?"
"You're just going to have a porn pillow sitting out where your daughter can see it?"

Within a week he had detransitioned and junked a ton of his stuff. Would that more guys, or at least the guy I'm dealing with now, had that sense of paternal duty.

Let's talk about you encouraging or inspiring someone to detransition for a moment. You write like a woman or a bot trained to write like a woman so I'll make the assumption for now. Seems like there are some mothering instincts going on here, gently guiding men with childlike minds back towards the path. This implies a high level of femininity, which could be learned behavior or maybe enhanced by certain types of birth control (maybe Yaz or Alesse?). If I were to assume I am accurate about the birth control thing it would open up a fun rabbit hole about how interesting it is to have one person on feminizing hormones decide that someone else should not be feminine or take hormones. Worth noting, if only for the humor.

Guessing about people based on the way they write is fun, but can sometimes help the reader understand the full context. My need for context comes from a desire to comprehend why someone would do such a thing. Not that you're being unreasonable or wrong, I'm not fit to judge, but it does boil down to two simple points: 1.) You don't like the thought of being forced to regularly interact with mentally unsound people (broad strokes "creepy guys") and 2.) The men you mentioned are fathers abandoning their duty in particular (broad strokes "deadbeat dads"). What I'm trying to say is: Why does the trans aspect change the situation to you? Women generally, maybe even biologically, dislike creeps and deadbeats. Are they trying to use transitioning as a way of dodging responsibility for failed marriages, bad parenting, or a lack of life success?

Just honestly curious. Your stories are interesting and indicate a different story from the usual zoomer "low self esteem to sissy hypno" pipeline. The 30-ish year old father transitioning out of shame, or as an attempt to integrate escapist fantasy into reality- is something I've witnessed only at a distance. Do they really have no better alternative?

 

[Punitive Castration]

Let's talk about you encouraging or inspiring someone to detransition for a moment. You write like a woman or a bot trained to write like a woman so I'll make the assumption for now. Seems like there are some mothering instincts going on here, gently guiding men with childlike minds back towards the path. This implies a high level of femininity, which could be learned behavior or maybe enhanced by certain types of birth control (maybe Yaz or Alesse?). If I were to assume I am accurate about the birth control thing it would open up a fun rabbit hole about how interesting it is to have one person on feminizing hormones decide that someone else should not be feminine or take hormones. Worth noting, if only for the humor.

Guessing about people based on the way they write is fun, but can sometimes help the reader understand the full context. My need for context comes from a desire to comprehend why someone would do such a thing. Not that you're being unreasonable or wrong, I'm not fit to judge, but it does boil down to two simple points: 1.) You don't like the thought of being forced to regularly interact with mentally unsound people (broad strokes "creepy guys") and 2.) The men you mentioned are fathers abandoning their duty in particular (broad strokes "deadbeat dads"). What I'm trying to say is: Why does the trans aspect change the situation to you? Women generally, maybe even biologically, dislike creeps and deadbeats. Are they trying to use transitioning as a way of dodging responsibility for failed marriages, bad parenting, or a lack of life success?

Just honestly curious. Your stories are interesting and indicate a different story from the usual zoomer "low self esteem to sissy hypno" pipeline. The 30-ish year old father transitioning out of shame, or as an attempt to integrate escapist fantasy into reality- is something I've witnessed only at a distance. Do they really have no better alternative?

Autistic biological phrenology aside...



Put simply it's because I don't have the ability to ban people from my life the way trans people can ban people from theirs. I can't just go "YUCK! TRANNY!" and summon the support of my peers, but I'm also not willing to ditch social groups just because someone went nuts. Detransition is never something I've aimed to achieve but it probably only occurred because I was remaining skeptical and hostile towards him since I wasn't allowed to reject him overtly. If I could reject him, I would.

As far as the middle aged MTF archetype goes, I don't know what to tell you, it's pretty common afaik.

 

[Monika H.]

I don't know anyone luckily enough, only a passing acquaintance so that's no problem of mine.
But when I was a teen and had long hair, I looked very feminine - no trace of beard or body hair - I used to wear black nail polish and black lipstick - mostly because ow the edge - and many, many people would comment about how I looked like a girl. Someone I was talking to on the internet tried repeatedly to convince me to troon out - this was back in 2013-2014, for reference - first ''just joking'' about it, then getting more and more pressing.
I never took them seriously and they just dropped out of my life, but thinking back on it it's surreal to realize I had ran into a groomer of sorts and deflected her without even understanding what was happening.

 

[Noir drag freak]

I don't know anyone luckily enough, only a passing acquaintance so that's no problem of mine.
But when I was a teen and had long hair, I looked very feminine - no trace of beard or body hair - I used to wear black nail polish and black lipstick - mostly because ow the edge - and many, many people would comment about how I looked like a girl. Someone I was talking to on the internet tried repeatedly to convince me to troon out - this was back in 2013-2014, for reference - first ''just joking'' about it, then getting more and more pressing.
I never took them seriously and they just dropped out of my life, but thinking back on it it's surreal to realize I had ran into a groomer of sorts and deflected her without even understanding what was happening.

Someone tried to convinvce me I was a girl at a gay nightclub. I was told that I raidated feminine energy and some of other things that I find offensive. But I find it offensive that I have to be a certain way just to be my biological sex.

 

[PinstripeLuns]

Maybe this isn't the place to put it but honestly I struggle with expressing my views on transgenders when asked about it by others. What if people I know find out? Family don't give a shit, but I could lose friends because they "thought I was cool". Simple solution is to not give any hint that I am, I guess, "transphobic" but they're gonna catch on at some point. It's cold comfort to say that they weren't real friends because at that point they think they're doing some kind of favour for everyone.

Spoiler: Feminism sperging

I'm not a radfem, and I probably never will be, but I tend to agree with them far more than libfems because in my eyes liberal feminism is just a tool created by capitalist men to make us consume more and support more capitalism. I think it's funny that people think that liberal feminism is really what's sticking it to the man, rather than radical feminism, which has been demonised by literally everybody under the sun. Nobody cares about the underdogs if the people in charge tell them they're not the underdogs. Even though women are statistically more in danger than true and honest trans women, cocks in frocks are the ones who are truly oppressed; you can support them by buying our pins, badges, shirts, and other merchandise!

It's such an obvious ploy that the powers that be have come up with, to demonise radical feminism because it doesn't make as much money as troons taking pills and undergoing surgeries. Why can't people see it for what it is? Am I insane? This doesn't feel like a conspiracy, this is just a truth I accept and meander on with my life, but it's baffling nobody seems to see it the same way.

 

[Vingle]

I don't have the ability to ban people from my life the way trans people can ban people from theirs. I can't just go "YUCK! TRANNY!" and summon the support of my peers, but I'm also not willing to ditch social groups just because someone went nuts. Detransition is never something I've aimed to achieve but it probably only occurred because I was remaining skeptical and hostile towards him since I wasn't allowed to reject him overtly. If I could reject him, I would.

Maybe reject him without a reason? That's how renters avoid racism accusations for rejecting a nigger.

Maybe this isn't the place to put it but honestly I struggle with expressing my views on transgenders when asked about it by others. What if people I know find out? Family don't give a shit, but I could lose friends because they "thought I was cool". Simple solution is to not give any hint that I am, I guess, "transphobic" but they're gonna catch on at some point. It's cold comfort to say that they weren't real friends because at that point they think they're doing some kind of favour for everyone.

I feel this way with the current vaccine. I've read so many storys of people ditching friends for not taking it, so I won't risk it. And the vaccine doesn't even protect.

 

[Peaches Carpenter]

I knew a couple who both transitioned and it led to their breakup, even though they were all excited to transition in mutual support. Estrogen made the MTF incredibly emotional, and testosterone made the FTM go from confidently sex-repulsed to propositioning friends of any gender.

Last I checked, the FTM, who filed a name change during that relationship and took the ex's surname, had gotten married to a woman...who did the marital name change to match. So the new wife has a name that came from the ex.

I know a number of people who claim to be trans but haven't taken a single step beyond the social superficials of name and pronouns, i.e. putting the work on everyone else. More or less the same goes for the sizeable nonbinary influence in my social circles. I run into more of them, so they're a far more active day-to-day nuisance in my life. It's a little hard to stay mindful of what a super radikweer gender enigma you are while I rifle for that tampon you asked to borrow as you touch up your full face of makeup and text your straight boyfriend.

Spoiler: rant about woke pronoun bullshit

I could rant for days about these assholes and the damage they're doing, but I'll keep it to the most recent/immediate annoyance: The fallout of the nonbinary shit has been the constant, intentional misgendering of people whose gender and pronouns are clearly established and have never been in question. A lot of wokesters, mostly dudes, selectively they-them gay people and women, especially women with short hair, while claiming they use neutral pronouns for everyone, because they care more about appearing woke than actually communicating in a respectful or practical way. Ironically, the they-ing often also comes out in full sanctimonious force when a non-passing but obviously intentional transitioner appears, which is a hilariously backhanded thing to do in context of this mindset.

 

[janedoe]

i've seen my fair share of guys trooning out, and normally i could just laugh at it because theyre usually pathetic beta males i had no care for in the first place. but recently it's happening to someone close to me, and it's not so funny anymore.

Spoiler

basically this person is an effeminate gay male in my family. and they have had a shit time in the dating pool, because they hate fellow feminine gays and want straight men constantly. they've become so self hating, that they genuinely believe they have dysphoria.

i try not to be insensitive and tell them 'you're just a fag and envy women because the guys you wanna fuck prefer women'. and instead offer to them that it's normal to not feel comfortable in your body, especially in post-puberty years (he's only 19). even tried opening up about my experiences as a gay woman, and how i also had severe body-image issues after puberty (like any teen does). but that i've become so much happier being myself, a feminine gay woman, and stopped caring what other women wanted (dykes or in bi women's cases they prefer men usually).

and in typical narcissistic faggot fashion, he gets offended to have his experience compared to mine, because it ruins how SPECIAL UWU he is.

there is also the fact he started saying things ever since he has been hanging around some they/them tard, and i wouldn't doubt for a second that she has been putting the word 'dysphoria' in his head. honestly, i would prefer it if he larped as nonbinary, because at least then he is least likely to make life altering medical decisions. but it's just so depressing to see someone be so insecure that they think embracing mental illness will lead to happiness.

it won't. accepting who you are, as a gay man, will. even if it doesn't always get you as much dick in your ass as you want. sometimes being gay means accepting you play the dating scene on hard mode. it's better than chasing after the unobtainable gender switch, because you can get your dick chopped and silicon injected into your body as much as you want: you'll never be a real woman. just a gross caricature that will age terribly.

don't get why that's so hard for some niggas to realize. i guess it doesn't help that being on instagram 24/7 surrounded by heavy editing will give the illusion that a good transition is possible. every tranny knows their angles. but even they have to turn off their phone and look at their botched face and enormous hands and shoulders in the mirror every morning, as well as stick the dilator up their smelly pussy wound. i feel like that should be scarier than being a lonely faggot, but alas.

i just wish i knew the right thing to say to them. since i'm older than him i take it everything i tell them comes off as annoying nagging or lecturing. but at the same time they always come to ME with this shit, so it's got to count for something. but i can't think FOR them. all i really can do is give as much advice as i can, even if i'm just a rambling bitch nearing the wall.

 

[Aunt Carol]

(Autoquote is busted)

i try not to be insensitive and tell them 'you're just a fag and envy women because the guys you wanna fuck prefer women'. and instead offer to them that it's normal to not feel comfortable in your body, especially in post-puberty years (he's only 19). even tried opening up about my experiences as a gay woman, and how i also had severe body-image issues after puberty (like any teen does). but that i've become so much happier being myself, a feminine gay woman, and stopped caring what other women wanted (dykes or in bi women's cases they prefer men usually).

and in typical narcissistic faggot fashion, he gets offended to have his experience compared to mine, because it ruins how SPECIAL UWU he is.

It's a shame he won't listen, because his experience is almost a perfect inversion of the not-like-other-girls teen crisis.

Teen girl wants to like men but also wants it to be special and a little taboo, because how could she be like everyone else, and what do you mean women have been having the onset of sexuality for millennia? It's very easy to conflate the stories of gay coming-out to one's own coming-of-age, straight though it is.

it won't. accepting who you are, as a gay man, will. even if it doesn't always get you as much dick in your ass as you want. sometimes being gay means accepting you play the dating scene on hard mode. it's better than chasing after the unobtainable gender switch, because you can get your dick chopped and silicon injected into your body as much as you want: you'll never be a real woman. just a gross caricature that will age terribly.

don't get why that's so hard for some niggas to realize. i guess it doesn't help that being on instagram 24/7 surrounded by heavy editing will give the illusion that a good transition is possible. every tranny knows their angles. but even they have to turn off their phone and look at their botched face and enormous hands and shoulders in the mirror every morning, as well as stick the dilator up their smelly pussy wound. i feel like that should be scarier than being a lonely faggot, but alas.

The straight dudes he wants to fuck do prefer women, and it's as tragic as anyone being attracted to someone who categorically isn't attracted to them.

The dangerous notion here is that he can "become" a woman, to the extent that he's suddenly in these straight men's fuck-range. That technology doesn't exist, and making the attempt is painful, expensive, and dooms him to being even more lonely.

If he's heavily following MtF e-thots, can you gossip with him by sending him photos of their bad angles/unfiltered selves? If that's natural for your relationship already, and if he's a femme dude who's into gossip. Just trying to break past the idea that there's a mechanism where you pay a surgeon cash money for a one-and-done "easy mode."

 

[Vingle]

I would link to the SRS and GRS surgeons and associated horrors-thread. If he wants to get a neo-vagina after reading there. Fuck caring about him, he's a lost cause then.