Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Not only is that utterly horrifying, and the bacon still largely raw, he pulled the pan out of the oven and put it straight onto the wooden table. Thats a real good way of causing significant burn damage to the table. The last time I saw someone do that did it on my grandparents kitchen counter, it ended up costing over 5k to repair the damage it did.
I don't think the homeless shelter cares about burn damage on their walmart table.

5k for a kitchen counter repair?
 
I don't think anyone posted this yet. Some comments where Lucas claims that he always cleans the toaster oven pan (cough, bullshit, cough). Also, apparently that toaster oven is there because some drifter who was staying at the shelter left it behind when they moved on. So, the shelter doesn't really care since it was just acquired.
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I don't think anyone posted this yet. Some comments where Lucas claims that he always cleans the toaster oven pan (cough, bullshit, cough). Also, apparently that toaster oven is there because some drifter who was staying at the shelter left it behind when they moved on. So, the shelter doesn't really care since it was just acquired.
That actually pisses me off more. These homeless people just happened to be gifted a toaster oven out of sheer luck, and Lucas has to fucking ruin that for them.

He is an absolute fucking parasite.
 

"Hats!?" he started, quickly fetching a dirty junk-mail envelope and bent Bic pen to write with. Could this be the breakthrough? Were the hats the key to underage totally legal Gen Z vagine the whole time? Had the fit, healthy, communist, completely sane, genius been wrong?

"Damn it, Dave Fas Ninety Two, respond,"
he thought sweatily, edging forward on the grossly overloaded chair in the hobo shack rec room.
 
That actually pisses me off more. These homeless people just happened to be gifted a toaster oven out of sheer luck, and Lucas has to fucking ruin that for them.

He is an absolute fucking parasite.
It kind of embodies his entire life. If there's something left unguarded, and it's at no direct cost to him, he'll try to take complete advantage of it and never once think of anyone else. Not the fellow homeless people at the shelter, not former roommates/apartment building mates, not people working at the hotel, not his one (no chance in hell he's had 8 Gfs) girlfriend, not his parents and family, no one.
 
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So within a week we will have achieved Communism? I can’t wait to hear him start talking about how anti-matter will give us Star Trek, it’s like some dimensional merge cope for Lucas as he is becoming always more desperate and delusional. If Bernie Sanders won’t do it then CERN scientists will apparently. Humanity will have reached its final emancipatory stage with no hunger, war, disease or poverty and we are all living out are fullest potential as a species amongst the stars all so Lucas can be free to be an even bigger pedo parasite floating around looking for puss puss.

Edit: If such a world ever came about through overproduction and all goods were cheaply available and abundant Lucas would still not be someone I’d want with access to the goodies tap. There’d have to be some reasonable limit like something you have to do for society to earn those goodies that go beyond the basic necessities. Lucas would just expect it all handed to him at once without having to do shit, that’s what he thinks Anarchy means
 
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The latest instalment of cooking with Lucas:

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He manages to be even more horrifying than early-years Masaokis. Just looking at the thumbnail was enough to make me feel a mild sense of nausea.

Congratulations Lucas. Maybe you can start your own channel like Masao did, only named "Cooking with Hobos".
 
Oh man he is really losing it... His comment to her didn’t initially make sense and when asked for clarification Lucas couldn’t even produce an actual word... I checked to see if maybe he had JUST sent that reply and it was a typo/accident that he would be deleting/replacing with a different comment but nope, it was 2 hours ago.
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So within a week we will have achieved Communism? I can’t wait to hear him start talking about how anti-matter will give us Star Trek, it’s like some dimensional merge cope for Lucas as he is becoming always more desperate and delusional. If Bernie Sanders won’t do it then CERN scientists will apparently. Humanity will have reached its final emancipatory stage with no hunger, war, disease or poverty and we are all living out are fullest potential as a species amongst the stars all so Lucas can be free to be an even bigger pedo parasite floating around looking for puss puss.
Dont forget the best part: the president of the USA apparently rules over scientific endeavors conducted in Switzerland.
 
He manages to be even more horrifying than early-years Masaokis. Just looking at the thumbnail was enough to make me feel a mild sense of nausea.

Congratulations Lucas. Maybe you can start your own channel like Masao did, only named "Cooking with Hobos".
His attempts at being a chef are somehow even more pathetic than his attempts to be a commedian and scientist
 

Is he trying to channel Andrew Dice Clay?

Also, I have a really nice stereo hooked up to my computer and when I listen to videos where he's eating it sounds like I'm inside his mouth. The smacking just surrounds you... it's more than a little disturbing.

I'm really late on this, but as I was listening to this vid all I could think about was that Liam Lynch/Dan Deacon video, the Drinkin' Outta Cups one. Except that Lucas isn't even close to funny.

I'm glad I'm finally caught up on this thread, but honestly Viva la Revolucion Lucas bores me to tears. He's fun when he's singularly focused on himself and not pretending to be altruistic. I do like how much it bothers him to get accused of being selfish and racist, though.
 
Oh man he is really losing it... His comment to her didn’t initially make sense and when asked for clarification Lucas couldn’t even produce an actual word... I checked to see if maybe he had JUST sent that reply and it was a typo/accident that he would be deleting/replacing with a different comment but nope, it was 2 hours ago.

Cool, I wonder if he's having a psychosis.
Lots of potential if so. Could end with anything from him being heavily medicated in a psych ward, him getting shot by the police, or just him posting incoherent shit on the internet. Either way we're in for an interesting time. Eyes peeled.
 
Lucas, age does not always equal maturity. Look at yourself. You need a payee because you're incompetent with money, you can't keep a roof over your head and are now homeless. You need the gov't to do everything for you.You are mentally and physically unfit. You would make a rotten abusive husband and father. One more thing Lucas, Gen Z guys can kick your ass. Remember Isaac's 17 yr old brother. That's why you won't confront them IRL for "cockblocking" you. You know well you'll end up shitting your pants.
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That exchange makes him sound like an utter nutcase. and he even asked 'is it the hats' in a serious manner when the guy was clearly fucking with him. She should have said yes, and pointed out that flatbills are so 2010s and the in thing now is medieval style jester hats. I'd pay to see lucas take that to heart and be seen a few days later wandering the streets in spokane wearing a jester hat

Tron said:
Well, at least he's got high hopes.

He better be careful. If 'everything is legal' when he becomes president, so will beating the shit out of him and dumping his ass in the nearest sewer drain for being a creepy pedo. But of course he never thought that far ahead or considered the implications of his crackpot ideas. Thats exactly the sort of scenario where people like him get lynched by the people

cigarettesalsa said:
I don't think the homeless shelter cares about burn damage on their walmart table.

They'll care enough to stop him from having access to it, lest he start a fire that ends up with serious injuries or damages they would be responsible for. In other words they care enough to do the minimum necessary to cover their own asses, as they are the ones ultimately responsible for whatever happens at the shelter

cigarettesalsa said:
5k for a kitchen counter repair?

Indeed. They hired some idiot costa rican who didn't know how to cook or work in a kitchen safely and she ended up sitting a large tray just out of the oven on a very expensive mahogany and cherry wood kitchen island, and the entire countertop portion of it was burned all to shit and had to be replaced. Ended up being about 5k and that was just the materials. Would have been more but my uncle did the work himself. Needles to say she got her ass sent back to costa rica after that incident

MCLOS Horthy said:
"Hats!?" he started, quickly fetching a dirty junk-mail envelope and bent Bic pen to write with. Could this be the breakthrough? Were the hats the key to underage totally legal Gen Z vagine the whole time? Had the fit, healthy, communist, completely sane, genius been wrong?[/quote]

Lucas should wear one of these hats, and 'lock' it the same way they do:


I'm sure it'll drive those zoomer baes right to him

mothman96 said:
Oh Lucas, we haven't forgotten you use the kitchen sink as a urinal.

At least it had a drain and he hasn't yet devolved into pissing in closets like the quartering

The keyword there being yet
 
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His brain can’t grasp any of this, how do you steal a car to trade for land? Planting gardens would be nice but people trading deer meat for machine parts sounds like some post-apocalypse zombie survival horror game.

Edit: He doesn’t understand how coins came into use back in the day as a representation of value to replace the barter system so you don’t have to carry twenty deer carcasses around in a wheelbarrow to buy an axe.
 
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