Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[cuddle striker]

He's got baby batter for brains.

 

[WonderWino]

The green laces shit slays me.

When Lucas was young, it was widely believed by edgy adolescents in the burbs that badass gangs of punks and skinheads (both good and bad) showed their allegiance with the color of their laces. White? You're for white power! Yellow? You're a Sharp!

I wonder if young Lucas waddled around Aberdeen in docs with green laces? Or just admired those who did?

Perhaps some Gen Z baes will see his green laces and realize that he is a badass anti-racist. Then they'll go get Clinkerdagger and mate.

and the best part is he clearly didn't stop to consider that he might not even be the only one in the are that happens to have green laces

I would laugh my ass off if some gullible zoomer bae saw one of the attraction signs, went to find lucas and ended up hooking up with some older greybeard who happened to have green laces as well, right in front of lucas. He'd go apeshit

 

[Twrx]

It’s so funny to me that he truly believes that things like intelligence or “being funny” are genetic. It’s like when he said he must be descended from kings because he could say “the land of tribes” in some stupid ass accent.

Even if his family and ancestors were everything he says that they are (which of course they are not), that doesn’t say shit about him. Actually, it does say something — it says that he is the defect, the weak link in the family chain, the rotten piece of lettuce in the family salad; the thing to be jettisoned, removed from history, never to reproduce or leave any kind of legacy so that the great Werners of olde could continue to thrive. A moldy berry will quickly infect the entire box and make all of the other berries inedible if the moldy one isn’t cast out.

Yeah the thing about his parents is asinine because if they were truly as rich as he says, they would probably keep helping him. With an apartment, a house, maybe even live-in staff. The reason they don’t do so is because they’ve weighed the cost vs. benefits and they know Lucas isn’t worth the money. If they were truly “millionaires”, they would have enough money that it wouldn’t be a hardship or drain on their finances to keep throwing money away on him.

But because they’re just your average, run of the mill boomers who have enough to live comfortably but aren’t rich by any means, they can’t afford to literally just throw money away by putting him up somewhere, be it a permanent place or not.

A bit off topic, but I can confirm intelligence isn't passed down. My dad was an EOD tech, EOD school is probably the hardest school in the military, dad didn't recycle, and as much as I love my brothers, they're morons, to the point where algebra 1 was beyond their capabilities. I just googled to see if Lucas dropped out of high school, but I couldn't find an answer, but, and it may be already mentioned, but he has a LinkedIn.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucas-werner-4680a382

 

[Free the Pedos]

If Lucas is the Velocirapist, hungering for a young blonde Lex, then is The Farms Timmy, trapping him in a meat locker....or Muldoon, tagging him with a tranq dart?

We're Hammond, eating melting ice cream in the dark and crying.

 

[MCLOS Horthy]

At some point, the dumbass is going to eat so much Clinkernigga, leaving him without a place to stay, that he goes into a diabetic coma. If it's a cold night, he could die right then and there even if the diabetic coma doesn't directly kill him. They'll have to use a shovel to get him off the sidewalk he's frozen to. And probably there will be no notice of his death because he has no friends or loved ones who care and a hobo freezing to death in the winter isn't news.

He'll end up frozen underneath a snow drift on the sidewalk, almost invisible until a sidewalk snowblower runs him over, fouling the gears and mechanisms with hundreds of pounds of gangrenous whale blubber. The machine is destroyed, and Lukey gets to defraud and waste taxpayer money from beyond the grave.

 

[Da Dude123]

He'll end up frozen underneath a snow drift on the sidewalk, almost invisible until a sidewalk snowblower runs him over, fouling the gears and mechanisms with hundreds of pounds of gangrenous whale blubber. The machine is destroyed, and Lukey gets to defraud and waste taxpayer money from beyond the grave.

And the grave, that will be a pauper's grave. No funeral. Myrna will virtue signal on Facebook about the system failed her son. She will do that just to get attention.

 

[Trainwreck]

I wonder if Myrna has Lucas' name tattooed on her.....

 

[Poop Shoot]

I honestly feel bad for his mother. No she wasn’t perfect - but no one is - but I can’t imagine going through pregnancy, childbirth, having all these hopes and dreams, and having the universe give her Lucas Werner.

 

[Pump Meat]

Policing is not the solution to people like Lucas. If cops followed Lucas around and ticketed him for every time he so much as jaywalked it would do little or nothing. The broader system is set against dealing with the mentally ill unless and until they become impossible to ignore (because they threw some dude off a subway platform or something). No ugly asylums, no mandated treatment, just feel-good "resources" that crazy people generally don't take advantage of because they're crazy.

The problem here isn't criminality, it's batshit insanity that used to be treated by the justice system (badly!) in the absence of a mental health system and now isn't dealt with at all. I don't know if it's really an American problem, though. If it were, Jonathan Yaniv would have been tossed in a nuthouse instead of being free to terrorize Canada.

It is a problem for any developed democratic nation. Housing people against their will for any length of time is guaranteed to generate legal complaints about the violation of rights and eventually some of those complaints are going to be substantiated because at some point, an employee at the facility is going to make a mistake. The legal costs mount and eventually housing only the most florid mentally ill becomes the only viable option. The modern legal code probably did more to dismantle the structure of public mental health here in the United States than any other factor.

Until Lucas offends against a barely legal ovulater that results in criminal charges (and I consider this an inevitability), he’ll probably stay outside any sort of mandated treatment that would be enforceable. If his eventual offense is serious enough to warrant significant jail or prison time, he can pretty much give up on getting any kind of meaningful care. He would need protective custody without question. Lucas would be completely unable to protect himself; I doubt he’d be sexually assaulted but more likely extorted, bullied, and physically assaulted, on a consistent basis (especially for lack of hygiene). Once in protective custody he’d spend the vast majority of his time alone with absolutely no social outlet, the isolation and fear would pretty much unravel him mentally. The treatment would be sporadic and largely pharmaceutical, meant to keep him docile and not hurting himself or smearing feces on the walls. Suicidal ideation/behavior would be treated with being stripped naked, given a smock, and little else while under “close” supervision by unsympathetic, overworked, and underpaid staff. His best hope would be some mitigating health issue that would require him to be placed in an actual secured hospital.

As it stands, to the system, Lucas is just a public nuisance. There are resources available to him that would keep his mood disorder medicated, a social worker to help with the disordered personality, and programs to keep him employed and housed. America’s soft welfare state is already there to take care of him. Qualifying for disability due to a Bipolar diagnosis with the federal government isn’t easy, the hardest part is already done.

Lucas just doesn’t want it because it forces him to act like an adult and be accountable to something other than his immediate desires. Lucas will never be meaningfully employed because any job he is qualified for will be perceived as beneath his abilities and station. It is this combination of narcissistic entitlement and lack of self control that makes Lucas so dangerous to young women and female children and tragically, also contributes to why he is mostly invisible to law enforcement.

The Farms, SOFALAW, and any other community that keeps tabs on Lucas can only sit and watch as that fat piece of shit subsists off public funds and private charity until he levels up his aristocratic telomeres enough to claim jus primae noctis and puts those diabetic sausage links on the wrong bae.

 

[Da Dude123]

I honestly feel bad for his mother. No she wasn’t perfect - but no one is - but I can’t imagine going through pregnancy, childbirth, having all these hopes and dreams, and having the universe give her Lucas Werner.

I kind of do and I kind of don't. It sounds like she has contributed to a lot of his problems. She honestly kind of sounds like a shitty person. That being said, having a big lolcow for a son is not easy. I really don't completely blame her for writing him off. But I do feel she could do more to wrangle him.

But I do agree with her statement that a girlfriend is not in the cards for Lucas.

 

[Poop Shoot]

No one can wrangle him, he’s been going to therapy and on and off medication for practically his whole life. I don’t see what else she can do. You cannot force someone else into a different personality.

 

[Da Dude123]

No one can wrangle him, he’s been going to therapy and on and off medication for practically his whole life. I don’t see what else she can do. You cannot force someone else into a different personality.

Yeah, that may be true. I think she moved to Arizona to be further away from him. I dunno, I feel like she could work more with his handlers to try to wrangle that cow, but that is way easier said than done.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

What does it say under "Seth"? "Carmen"?

That font is awful.

 

[AnOminous]

I kind of do and I kind of don't. It sounds like she has contributed to a lot of his problems. She honestly kind of sounds like a shitty person.

Behind every lolcow is a lolmom.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

I'm sure Lucas's mom had something to do with what he became but I don't blame her one iota for not trying to wrangle him now.

Until Lucas offends against a barely legal ovulater that results in criminal charges (and I consider this an inevitability), he’ll probably stay outside any sort of mandated treatment that would be enforceable.

Women avoid him like the plague, even more so as he's gotten fatter, balder, older, and creepier. Even hobo women seem to know. He's the opposite of a charasmatic sexual predator but he's incompetent in every other way, too. And nobody would let him anyone around underage girls now, if they ever did. I don't think he has much opportunity to offend in a way that would actually bring the system down on him.

 

[Twrx]

I'm sure Lucas's mom had something to do with what he became but I don't blame her one iota for not trying to wrangle him now.

Women avoid him like the plague, even more so as he's gotten fatter, balder, older, and creepier. Even hobo women seem to know. He's the opposite of a charasmatic sexual predator but he's incompetent in every other way, too. And nobody would let him anyone around underage girls now, if they ever did. I don't think he has much opportunity to offend in a way that would actually bring the system down on him.

I imagine at some point, being a parent to Lucas is just like bailing water out of a sinking boat.

 

[Amewsed]

I imagine at some point, being a parent to Lucas is just like bailing water out of a sinking boat.

 

[Obscenity Enthusiast]

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I imagine at some point, being a parent to Lucas is just like bailing water out of a sinking boat.

What? Are you kidding? Clearly none of it was Myrna's fault.

It's not her fault, for example, that Lucas had a 168° fever, which exploded into hot oatmeal all over his fat little baby face.

It's not her fault that the teacher preferred all the rich kids who lived "up on the hill", and particularly had problems with lucas, who definitely had NO socialization issues whatsoever, who definitely probably wasn't even creepier as a child than he is as an adult, certainly not.

Imagine, if you will, Lucas as a kid in puberty: he has the same urges, but he's even less socialized and aware of the world's standards then he is now.

I imagine he wasn't too far from whipping his acorn out and rubbing it on a girl's leg.

But certainly, this is just the teacher being classist!

I guess we know where Lucas gets that mindset from, huh?

 

[Shaka Brah]

It is a problem for any developed democratic nation. Housing people against their will for any length of time is guaranteed to generate legal complaints about the violation of rights and eventually some of those complaints are going to be substantiated because at some point, an employee at the facility is going to make a mistake. The legal costs mount and eventually housing only the most florid mentally ill becomes the only viable option. The modern legal code probably did more to dismantle the structure of public mental health here in the United States than any other factor.

You'd be surprised. Frankfurt School psychologists had to do a lot of very flagrant lying to get asylums shut down, because before the "asylums are imprisoning sane people" scare they were well-liked by the public and committing mentally ill weirdos was seen as beneficial not violating anyone's rights. It was only discovered recently that one of the biggest studies supporting the closure of asylums, and subsequently the unleashing of the mentally ill on the normal public and normalizing of major mental illnesses, turned out to be entirely fraudulent. Public mental health was systematically dismantled by people with an agenda.