Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Club Sandwich]

mm, ketchup on a bowl of cereal or mustard on sushi or both saturating a chicken vindaloo curry. Lucas-approved.

 

[Bassomatic]

Can't seem to edit my previous post, but lucas is showing his stupidity and lack of self awareness again:
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Yet another thing lucas should not be pointing fingers for. How's that boiled sprite and ranch dressing sauce doing lucas?

Pop corn pasta. That's my post. That's all I need to say.

Cooking with Jack at least isn't so poor he steals from food pantries for his toasterbortions. Speaking of hey Dr nigga Luke where's your air fryer?

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

I wonder if the tard house he stays in has a rule about air fryers. If not properly used, they can pose a fire hazard. And you just know that he would never bother to clean the basket between uses.

Imagining the sediment of burnt cheese, sauces, grease, ect that would accumulate, I think he got wrangled on having it there.

 

[WonderWino]

I wonder if the tard house he stays in has a rule about air fryers. If not properly used, they can pose a fire hazard. And you just know that he would never bother to clean the basket between uses.

Imagining the sediment of burnt cheese, sauces, grease, ect that would accumulate, I think he got wrangled on having it there.

I wouldn't be surprised if they have a rule like that at mallon place, or if they invented such a rule in lucas's case after seeing how he handles such appliances. Remember how he treated the toaster oven at the homeless shelter, and he damn near started a fire a few times there over stupidity with grease and sauces, so it would definitely fit. Especially when the building is filled with people who are pretty fucked in the head and liable to do something stupid with them

It also fits with lucas's MO that he bragged about getting it then suddenly never mentioned it again. Thats what he always does when something happens that makes him look bad or embarrasses him. Getting told he's not allowed to use it cause he's an idiot would certainly fit. In a situation like that I can also see him trying to trade it to some other resident for a pot of pasta and getting in trouble for it for the same reasons. Also, lucas being lucas could have tried to use it and completely fucked it doing something stupid and doesn't want to talk about it because he doesn't want to show off he's too stupid to use an air fryer. I can see him trying to air fry pasta or something in it or filling it with oil and trying to deep fry it cause it has the word fryer in it so his swiss cheese brain assumes that means you can deep fry things in it

Pop corn pasta. That's my post. That's all I need to say

I still don't get what was going through his mind with that one. Popcorn chicken is a thing sure but that how the hell does anyone think it makes sense to make popcorn and serve it mixed in with pasta? That takes a serious level of stupid and lack of critical thinking abilities. I highly suspect there is some actual autism related shit going on with stuff like that as well, with the whole autistics and weird textures thing. It would explain alot about some of the things he's done with food

EDIT:

Since lucas can't be trusted with proper cooking appliances I found the perfect appliance for lucas to use at mallon place. After all its so simple even a child can use it:

The queasy bake oven is right up lucas's alley. Just imagine the toasterbortions he would come up with cooked with a lightbulb in this thing. and don't forget all the tween girls love easy bake ovens so.......

 

[Fatal Walter]

Ketchup and mustard for every meal? Sacrilege! Lucas only uses that crap for his fancy plating.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

So did Lucas do some time or something, he "cooks" like he's a inmate with access to just canteen items

 

[WonderWino]

So did Lucas do some time or something, he "cooks" like he's a inmate with access to just canteen items

He's never been to prison but he did do a bit of time in jail over his domestic violence incident and the follow up violation of the restraining order (around 50 days I think?), which pissed him off to no end and scared him shitless. No way he didn't get fucked with and such. After all he has bragged about how he was the cell cleaner who supposedly took it upon himself to keep to toilet and cell clean. Something nobody volunteers for in any jail environment. I doubt he had anything resembling canteen though. He had no job, was on his tugboat and had nothing saved so he wouldn't have gotten shit. So no jail burritos made with ramen for him. Not that I couldn't see him trying to beg for some ramen or steal a pack from somebody in his cell when they weren't around. Wouldn't have done it twice though

He hasn't really said much more about his jail experience than the stuff about cleaning the toilet and supposedly getting out early for good behavior, though that doesn't mean shit these days beyond 'didn't assault anybody or do something really stupid to get into serious trouble' cause everybody gets that shit unless they're violent idiots. Kind of goes without saying that jail wasn't as pleasant of an experience for him as he tried to make it sound. He's exactly the kind of weak willed idiot everybody pegs as a target in five seconds flat, which would explain alot about why he doesn't say much about the experience

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

He's never been to prison but he did do a bit of time in jail over his domestic violence incident and the follow up violation of the restraining order (around 50 days I think?), which pissed him off to no end and scared him shitless. No way he didn't get fucked with and such. After all he has bragged about how he was the cell cleaner who supposedly took it upon himself to keep to toilet and cell clean. Something nobody volunteers for in any jail environment. I doubt he had anything resembling canteen though. He had no job, was on his tugboat and had nothing saved so he wouldn't have gotten shit. So no jail burritos made with ramen for him. Not that I couldn't see him trying to beg for some ramen or steal a pack from somebody in his cell when they weren't around. Wouldn't have done it twice though

He hasn't really said much more about his jail experience than the stuff about cleaning the toilet and supposedly getting out early for good behavior, though that doesn't mean shit these days beyond 'didn't assault anybody or do something really stupid to get into serious trouble' cause everybody gets that shit unless they're violent idiots. Kind of goes without saying that jail wasn't as pleasant of an experience for him as he tried to make it sound. He's exactly the kind of weak willed idiot everybody pegs as a target in five seconds flat, which would explain alot about why he doesn't say much about the experience

I guess it's possible someone felt sorry for him and gave him some, but really the idiots who "cook" in jail are spending 5-10 bucks to mix up 3-4 things of junk food, I knew some guys that were spending 40-75 to max some kinda "taco" salad in jail which wasn't bad. But yea unless his mom felt sorry for him he probably didn't have canteen that shit is pretty expensive. His unholy food abominations reminded me of the shit people would mix up in jail, I can't think of any other reason people would make stuff like that but I'm also not addicted to food like Lucas is. There really isn't much to say about the jail experience, most normal people get by playing cards and sleeping its not so bad just boring asf, Lucas is probably to lazy to be a inmate worker which jails normally give you a small bag of canteen every week for working, it knocks time off your sentence and it just makes the days go by faster when your doing stuff all day.

 

[Reacter]

Holy shit, I can't believe this guy isn't dead yet. I used to follow his antics years ago but fell off during one if his phases where he goes silent for a long time. Surprised to see he actually got into another apartment, I thought for sure he was going to end up dead in the street. He's just back to talking about Christianity and boardgames all day? That's lame, but I'm glad he doesn't seem to be creeping on underage girls in public anymore.

 

[Pedophobe]

Surprised to see he actually got into another apartment

IIRC, he was released from mental hospital in late 2021 to a private group home and eventually setup in an apartment block owned and operated by the same company. Most of his money goes on rent and he's pissed about not being able to afford the fine dining lifestyle he was accustomed to.

 

[Da Dude123]

Why should people pay $10 to a fat, autistic bum to be friends with him on Facebook? And the haters, screw them! Lucas is plenty good! I am still thinking that trying to charge people to accept a Facebook friend request is against Facebook's terms of service, but I couldn't find anything concrete on that.

 

[Reacter]

IIRC, he was released from mental hospital in late 2021 to a private group home and eventually setup in an apartment block owned and operated by the same company. Most of his money goes on rent and he's pissed about not being able to afford the fine dining lifestyle he was accustomed to.

This is probably one of the best outcomes possible for him come to think of it. The tard doesn't do well with any control over his life at all

 

[Da Dude123]

This is probably one of the best outcomes possible for him come to think of it. The tard doesn't do well with any control over his life at all

Yeah, the mooo cow now has like $20 to his name after his re-tard bux are garnished. He really has no money for anything at all. I am not sure if the housing provides like toilet paper or things like that.

Now, more than ever the cow is relying on charity. I mean, he gets his food stamps, but he has no money outside of them. So he has to rely on charities a bunch. And who runs these charities? That's right, Christians! Without the Christian charities the fat fuck would be short on food and other necessities. He always has relied on Christian Charities, but now that his neet bux are basically fully garnished, he totally needs them.

He has really been ramping up all his atheist posting lately. He will post that shit and then waddle to the Christian Church ran food pantry for some gibs me dats. "Mooo, mooo, mooo, I need help!". Pisses me off! The ungrateful cow! It's fine to be atheist. But if you're gonna take help from Christians, you should probably not be posting how bad they are and how plenty good atheists are.

But lolcows don't think like that. They have a huge sense of entitlement and think they should be helped and be given too. They think there is nothing wrong with bad mounting the people who help you.

 

[WonderWino]

Yeah, the mooo cow now has like $20 to his name after his re-tard bux are garnished. He really has no money for anything at all. I am not sure if the housing provides like toilet paper or things like that.

Now, more than ever the cow is relying on charity. I mean, he gets his food stamps, but he has no money outside of them. So he has to rely on charities a bunch. And who runs these charities? That's right, Christians! Without the Christian charities the fat fuck would be short on food and other necessities. He always has relied on Christian Charities, but now that his neet bux are basically fully garnished, he totally needs them.

He has really been ramping up all his atheist posting lately. He will post that shit and then waddle to the Christian Church ran food pantry for some gibs me dats. "Mooo, mooo, mooo, I need help!". Pisses me off! The ungrateful cow! It's fine to be atheist. But if you're gonna take help from Christians, you should probably not be posting how bad they are and how plenty good atheists are.

But lolcows don't think like that. They have a huge sense of entitlement and think they should be helped and be given too. They think there is nothing wrong with bad mounting the people who help you.

In lucas's specific case there is more to it than just not giving a shit about bad mouthing people who are helping him. Lucas actively gets off on belittling christian shelters, food banks and the like that provide for him because he think being an atheist and getting supported by the christian charities is somehow an epic fuck you and proof he's smarter than they are. Completely missing the fact that it makes him look like an asshole. He flat out brags about this shit and gets literal manic glee out of it. Combine that with the sense of entitlement he has about it both because he's a narcissistic twit and because he thinks its their christian duty to cater to trash like him and it shows just what kind of person he really is. Small wonder his parents put up with him for as long as they did. Though I suspect they only did so for that long because they convinced themselves its totally not his fault and he's totally not a shitty person its just the mental illness's fault. Zero doubt whatsoever that was myrnas attitude, but even she had enough sense to realize the truth and fuck off eventually. Funny how that seems to have started right around the time he started talking about how he's a totally non offending pedo on facebook. You really have to wonder what went on between 2005 - 2013 that we don't know about. You just know he has some skeletons in his closet from that period given previous rumors about his behavior from that time

That said, sooner or later he's going to get his ass banned from facebook demanding money to accept friend requests. Theres a reason twitch thots don't do shit like that to make easy money off simps. Even they have enough brains to know they'll get banned for it

 

[Bassomatic]

The sheer idea how probable it is Lucas "ready to be a father" can't be trusted with an air fryer cracks me up to no end.

Yes Lucas in some ways feels the rightful shame of being on the dole but, his ego won't let him accept that or be thankful. He has to spin it he's owning the Pope by taking 3 cans of donated green beans. Surly church membership will tank.

Born again Virgin Lucas Werner is probably sitting in government housing beating off to cheese pizza (both the meme and menus) on Valentine's day. Lmao serves you right fatty, if you need love maybe Perva needs another dick washing in your throat.

 

[Reacter]

I am not sure if the housing provides like toilet paper or things like that.

That's a really good point I hadn't considered. I'm sure he's probably able to get some basic necessities like tp and toothpaste if he's hitting up charity places, but it's not going to be realistic to just rely on that for every single thing you could possibly ever need for the rest of your life. If he had any ability to plan for the future like a responsible adult, he'd use the money he makes from E begging to build up an emergency fund instead of spending it on popcorn and potato chips at the corner store. Mr. "ready to be a dad" can't even keep his own ass wiped without help from those greedy Christians.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

The sheer idea how probable it is Lucas "ready to be a father"

roflmao ready to be a father, normally people who are secure in their job/trade, have money saved, are married, have a house, etc are what you consider ready to be a father. A ragman living in a gov't fartbox begging for cans of greenbeans while whacking off to CP on V Day just isn't what I would consider ready to be a father but it does make me laugh that he thinks he's ready. I guess that's what his user names like CuteOlderDaddy are supposed to mean, I always assumed they were names he saw some gay guy on grinder use and thought it was cool sounding and just didn't know what it really meant.

Never change Born Again Virgin Lucas Werner

 

[WonderWino]

The latest from brokeposting:

 

[Mike Hunt]

If he had any ability to plan for the future like a responsible adult, he'd use the money he makes from E begging to build up an emergency fund instead of spending it on popcorn and potato chips at the corner store.

When you don't work for your money, financial literacy is a foreign concept. In Lucas' case, it's even worse since he gets money from the government regularly and whenever he gets a hankering for extra meals to pad his fat belly, he just waddles over to the nearest charity org and takes food while being an ingrate about it. Never will he feel the need for an emergency fund because his basic needs are covered. Hell, he even cries for the government/society to step in and give him a boyfriend-free girl (young, of course) to turn into his sex slave.

Americans (well, Westerners in general) have it good. You can be an absolute lazy bum and never have to worry about dying of starvation. People who cry poverty there do not know true poverty since the social net is pretty good there.

 

[Todd Weiss]

The latest from brokeposting:

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It's like those "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" illustrations. Nightmare fuel.