Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Overwritten Tapes]

Jesus he should shave the top and keep the pony tail like some medieval Japanese man.

He'd look more like spaghett from Tim and Eric

Financially Illiterate Older Daddy

Best description of him in a long time.

 

[not in the cards]

Angry hobo Lucas screaming in the streets is dead, sadly. Telemere expert scientist Lucas is the best we can hope for.

Or him crying and wailing in his fart box when he works at this job that he hates and all for nothing. As he'll continue to be repellent to any woman that's unfortunate to be in his immediate vicinity. We might get him screaming and crying "WHY WON'T YOU STOP BEING AGEIST AND CLASSIST GEN Z???!!!!".

 

[Bassomatic]

A lot to catch up on but seems you all have done a good job both archiving this and commenting about it's lunacy.

My hats off to all of you. Thinking of hats, surpassing the mutton chop idea, Lucas needs to get that zoomie broccoli perm thing. As a guy who already is in need of a toupe (for our amusement) trying that cut would be amazing all patchy. He refuses to drop that "cool 90s professor" look. You know the one who's 34 went from his PhD to school never had a real job and starts his history of Asia class with a hello fellow cool kids speech talking about he's also watching friends and has smoked grass.

Lamb is not what the younger crowd digs. I'll side bar quickly but withbthe amount of food options growing it's aways a shock how picky younger adults are. Grandma basso grew up in that era you ate what was grown then. If there was green on your plate in October it was pickled and she likes Thai food. Also I guess Lucas isn't effected by inflation because he's living off the state. 65 for lamb chops depending on area isn't too bad. I do agree make em at home they are delicious and easy to cook. Higher side of price and better be damned good but it's funny to see him fail with unintentional giving a back in my day that was a lot of money while trying to o flex.

It would be like if your grandpa tries flexing back in his day a candy bar was a nickel and he's got a quarter now.

His science stuff is just punchable. No one's talking about it you clearly don't care since you're abjectly wrong. He doesn't even come off as that guy who takes a topic loosely and wedged in some stupid trivia he heard but wasn't correct. I just had one of those moments when talking about 80th anny of bday this guy tries to impress everyone by making an incorrect statement about the American revolutionary war. The difference is this guy was being social and had people to talk to.

Lucas just shamelessly throws this shit out thinking he won't sound loony or anything despite being out of the blue and factually wrong.

I kinda want to bring up aside all his other red flags one that not until I put thought into was his very well earned dry spell. After the bomb shell Lucas wasn't even welcome to go down. He was a lot fatter then, big enough even younger causes ED. I'm really not trolling (but it'll give him a big mad) Myrnas special abortion is a virgin full stop. Second base isn't a homerun.

Let me put my Freud hat on. One reason Lucas is so gross and into violent sex is he's really hetero but he's been farther with men despite living with a girl. Lucas is gross but he's got some weird shame in his mind more so it's a reactionary protection for his ego.

I think anyone who's experienced other than desired sex more than wanted will have issues. No I am not saying Lucas got raped. Lucas willingly had Perva in his mouth. The why is a question and I've leaned into he thought he could impress people and it back fired.

Freud hat still on but, esp in that age group when sex isn't as common and people lie. Girls claim to be bi to impress boys and everyone wants a blow job. Retarded Lucas applies these things he could be cool for it. Remember he is lazy. It has a history for trying to go above and beyond with no real grasp of the system. This is a guy who was homeless an started his PhD plan.

Lastly his whining of dry spell goes back to legitimately how he dealt with mommy dearest the wall licker. Whine till you get what you want or more often food. He definitely would Chris Chan 2.0 if he could. Personally I do not think the complex is anywhere as bad as with Chris, IMHO barbchu was a groomer.

Lucas thinks if he says boo hoo I want sex he has to get it or something for his plights. It just makes him off more and more, overall in society were pretty private about that and it's something we share with a partner heck some couples can't even share that stuff

If I was dating a new girl I'd not ask or want to know how long it's been. Also if it came up as a topic we'd have had rapport and trust already so they won't be a loon (aside slavic art school girls damned vice) I don't say this to come off as enlightened or cool but if they said "just busy wasn't on mind didn't date much 5 years" I would not blink. Then I hit her with a don't worry I'll catch you up gurl.

Lucas has had one very unhealthy relationship and he's a porn addict. He should just embrace it. Save up your paychecks get a pocket pussy and spend all day on your virus ridden Obama phone watching AI made Greta videos getting blacked.

This trip arc will peter out in a few days. I do agree how poor taste it is aside flat suicidal. He really has less hours in his working career this century than most of us do in a day and he's already entitled to exotic trips. This doesn't bode well. As stated it's a great hobo trap people think they can just get drunk on the beach surf and tan while Daddy gov covers everything.

You have to be an idiot to think you have the one free life hack to live 500 days of summer for free. So you can guess what kinda people go there. Lot of them are active addicts too. Everyone I know who's lived there going back to a great aunt in the 50s said the underbody is nastier then you think. Being a tourist focused place they sweep it under the rug.

To be fair id rather enjoy that as a final Lucas arc. Can you picture the chimp outs when he finds you get one skimpy peanut butter sandwich if you make it to the food bank before 10am? Hurricane force winds and coconuts falling on him screaming into his phone Bernie needs to save him. He's never heard from again .King Roy checking his phone and 28 calls from a blocked # and Myrna chewing on her drapes unaware that Lucas isn't with her but indeed it's Ethan Ralph on a grift for a roof over his head.

Fin

Edit: Never rule out Lucas being homeless again he's a seriously mentally ill pedophile with manic spreesand a lack of planning. It's warm he's horny screaming at 7 year olds fuck me or you love Trump isn't to be rules out.

 

[Da Dude123]

Wow. Some self awareness. Will it last? I doubt it. Lucas at his core, he believes that he is plenty good. So the baby zooms should want to date him. Of course, they don't. He is a fat, smelly, ugly, cow with a terrible personality who lives in a home for retards.

 

[WonderWino]

LOL now he's trying to 'manifest' his zoomer bae like a 40 year old wine mom with a house full of cats and crystals. Yeah that meshes real well with your looney rants about physics lucas. You can tell what kind of shit he's been watching on youtube when he talks like that

This is probably his way of saying he has insane delusions of fisting teen girls in his fartbox while squealing like a pig and sits in the corner with his crazy eyes and chimp grimace thinking about it all day and stewing in his anger that he can never make it happen

EDIT:

Lucas sure is jumping into the whole manifesting thing:

Mr science actually thinks that kind of idiocy works. Must be getting desperate for teen poonaner

 

[Fatal Walter]

Anyone else reminded of that crap Elliot Rodger used to try to win powerball? Visualizing winning and the life he wanted. It was actually a love quest, he just wasn't quite as obvious about it. Which says something about Lucas.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas got paid it seems. But whats this, he can't actually use any of it until next week because....he has no time at the moment to do so? Horseshit. This sounds like it means his pay goes through his wrangler and he gets it from the wrangler like he used to before mallon place ate up almost all his tugboat, cause lucas can't be trusted with money. Even money he himself actually earned for once

Gee, lamb chops once or twice a month. Big spender there lucas. and holy shit at actually calling her m'lady

To be fair she can't possibly be duller than lucas himself is. But don't worry lucas, your mom is plenty embarrassed by you as it is that, to quote senator vreenak - the zoomer bae would have to try very hard indeed to disappoint her any more than you do already. Also what a weird flex to brag that your mother has tattoos

I kind of wonder if him talking like this about his mother means king roy didn't mention anything to him about myrna having dementia and being in some nursing home in mexico as a result

 

[SteveGoatman]

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Lucas got paid it seems. But whats this, he can't actually use any of it until next week because....he has no time at the moment to do so? Horseshit. This sounds like it means his pay goes through his wrangler and he gets it from the wrangler like he used to before mallon place ate up almost all his tugboat, cause lucas can't be trusted with money. Even money he himself actually earned for once

View attachment 6061570
Gee, lamb chops once or twice a month. Big spender there lucas. and holy shit at actually calling her m'lady

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To be fair she can't possibly be duller than lucas himself is. But don't worry lucas, your mom is plenty embarrassed by you as it is that, to quote senator vreenak - the zoomer bae would have to try very hard indeed to disappoint her any more than you do already. Also what a weird flex to brag that your mother has tattoos

I kind of wonder if him talking like this about his mother means king roy didn't mention anything to him about myrna having dementia and being in some nursing home in mexico as a result

I'd also like to mention....Lucas is 44...and he's talking about not dating someone that would embarrass his mom (who, along with the rest of his family don't want anything to do with him). Even if he was close with his family...you're, at least chronologically, an adult who shouldn't be that influenced by their opinion. Also, for somebody who has spent almost his entire life being "too different" that's an awfully rich standard for him to have.

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

I wonder if his wrangler is required to handle his paycheck because his tugboat will get scaled back, and the payee needs to make sure that his tard home gets their money? Major chimpout coming ?

 

[Bassomatic]

This paycheck thing is weird but then again I don't have a payee. I assume it's set by his tard wrangler. I love his adult flexes shows how much a non adult he is. While the banking industry is absolutely fucked I won't get into it. It's easier than ever to A: skip banks and be a successful white or blue collar worker B: get paid immediately C: some employers do it for you now even.

It's actually something good for the avg person. I'm sure Lucas is not making enough for the basic chain bank to give "perks" like fronting payday for free etc. for those not too versed. No, not same as a payday loan. These are when your direct deposit hits we front the cash and assume it clears.

It's probably extra long wait for Lucas because his tard bucks adjustments. I'm not on retard money so I don't know if you also get a check if they can set withholdings or thars a tard wranglers job to deal with per check.

While all of us have to take out for taxes etc Lucas has more complex system because he's retarded. When he finds out he's only getting 10 bucks for 10 hours of work because rest goes to mallon making up loss of tug boat, he's going to chimp. I'm sure he was told this multiple times an it was in one ear out the other.

Hobo working Wern would be a great saga. Knowing he won't last at this job. His history of liking to be big fish in small pond a working man in a homeless shelter would be something he thinks is good and a plan.

Actually, the don't want to embarrass my Mom thing I see as a far darker thing, it's both manipulative and dishonest. As stated he's not in touch with his family. Everyone has rightfully given up on him. To many people a close knit family is important. Lucas is implying he has one and you need to meet his and their standards.

Really one first question I think any suitor would and should ask would be if you're close to the fam why are you in a run down state funded tard house? Then second very fair question would be why are you dropping big dollars on dinner when you live in a flop house?

It's peak Wern his flexes make him look worse. It's also a riot he posts his issues and does so for pity. It really to him those are the voices in the wind. He's that loony that reality is both the enemy and his mental illnesses at work.

Him setting up the lamb chops once or twice a month is again abusive and makes him look bad. Couples at this age go out when they want sometimes more sometimes less. At 40s you're established if not on path to comfortable. Also he just said going out to eat us his favorite thing but he does it at most a two dozen times a year? Screams broke to me.

Actually it's fine Lucas has standards I think everyone should. But when you set them you need to understand you create a barrier to entry. So your options are wait it out or lower them. You don't get to bitch you can't get what you want. If you do I will laugh and call you an incel. Because you are.

To be fair for Lucas a pulse is pretty much all he can ask for and expect. Unless he gets hooked up with some girl who has a null/feeder fetish and wants to see Lucas bed ridden screaming. As long as she let him watch cheese pizza (Lucas is too fat for a no topping pie so you know what I mean) that might be his best choice. Gorging himself seeing children exploited as he stuffs wings down his gullet all while the sicko into this is soaking her panties aware Lucas is reliant on her.

If he wasn't banned from fet life I'd even throw that dude a bone and say this is your happy future dude go for it.

 

[Da Dude123]

I wonder if his wrangler is required to handle his paycheck because his tugboat will get scaled back, and the payee needs to make sure that his tard home gets their money? Major chimpout coming ?

I bet this is exactly it. Almost all jobs do direct deposit now. Friday was likely pay day and it goes to the ebt card and the human services agency has to make their disbursements out of it to make sure the cow barn rent is paid and then Tubby gets the rest to spend on $65 lamb chops.

The wranglers know that Lucas cannot be trusted to pay the difference in his rent. He is too dumb and autistic for that. They have to get a hold of it. I wonder if Lucas will mooo about his pay not being what he thought? I sure hope so. He deserves it for all the dumb stuff he is posting about Hawaii vacations and $65 lamb chop dinners with baby zooms. Absolute lunacy for him to be thinking about such things for having a part time minimum wage job and living in a home for exceptional individuals.

 

[WonderWino]

Really one first question I think any suitor would and should ask would be if you're close to the fam why are you in a run down state funded tard house? Then second very fair question would be why are you dropping big dollars on dinner when you live in a flop house?

The best part about this is these are perfectly normal questions to ask in this kind of situation and any reasonable person would ask them. Yet its obvious how lucas would react to being asked them. He'd flip the fuck out and start accusing the person of being a classist bigot and probably worse, showing how much of an abusive nutcase he really is. Lucas absolutely does not tolerate his behavior or actions being questioned. Ever. The only time he holds back from immediately losing his shit when this happens is if he's in trouble at the time and knows it. Like how he acted with 'mias dad' when asked if his actions were 'smart' and his voice started rising and he was about to lose it before he got ahold of himself out of fear of getting in worse trouble than he already was. Same thing happened when he was told it wasn't in the cards a few minutes later

Lucas is chasing after the very thing that he should want to avoid like the plague - a woman. Lucas cannot safely or properly associate with women in a relationship context at all. He's manipulative and abusive. He would inevitably end up in jail again if he did somehow get another woman. Probably alot quicker than the first time, as his ability to control himself has diminished and societies tolerance for abusive behavior toward women has lowered since his last incident. Lucas chimping out the way he does in videos would scare the shit out of any woman, get the cops called on him and wouldn't be a good look in court. Lucas getting a couple years in jail for doing a screaming chimpout for questioning him would be peak wern and the perfect way to end his saga

I bet this is exactly it. Almost all jobs do direct deposit now. Friday was likely pay day and it goes to the ebt card and the human services agency has to make their disbursements out of it to make sure the cow barn rent is paid and then Tubby gets the rest to spend on $65 lamb chops.

Yeah he's definitely getting at least some of his money garnished, these programs always do that to some degree. He was told this and either didn't understand or ignored it. I very much doubt he's getting anywhere near what he thinks he's going to get when he actually sees his pay. Plus he still has the payee who doles it out in small amounts just like when he was getting more from his tugboat, so he won't be happy about that either. If he thinks his job is a clever work around for not dealing with a payee he's in for a shock. I suspect we're in for an angry rant at the very least when he actually sees what he's getting for his work. Whatever pittance he does have he's going to blow through immediately on food

I'll laugh my ass off if he gets a bunch taken out for mallon place and only ends up with barely more than he got when he wasn't working and has to get that pittance from his payee every week. He'd be big mad if it works out that he only makes like $100 a month and gets doled out barely more than $20 a week to spend. No way he'd keep working for that

 

[not in the cards]

"I fully expect to earn that pussy"? Jeez, he still thinks that he can just "earn pussy" if he simps hard enough. I love how as much of a pretentious pseudo-intellectual he is, he still cannot grasp some basics when it comes to interacting with other people.



What does he mean when he has time? He sits on his fat ass all day when his wrangler hasn't forced him to work. Also, trying to "look in the real world" to find someone to date will be worse for him because they can smell his unwashed, sweaty ass from a mile away. I can't wait for the excuses/whining when he fails to woo his Gen Z bae in real life as well.

 

[WonderWino]

I like how he outs himself as only being able to think about food even when hes talking about women. Thats how obsessed he is with eating and his need to constantly self soothe with food

"I fully expect to earn that pussy"? Jeez, he still thinks that he can just "earn pussy" if he simps hard enough. I love how as much of a pretentious pseudo-intellectual he is, he still cannot grasp some basics when it comes to interacting with other people.

If lucas lived to be a thousand he'd never be able to learn to interact with people normally. Remember how he is now is after years of studying how other people interact in his own fucked up way and after having his entire childhood having to be instructed on how to interact with people in an appropriate way that doesn't make people think he's mental or run the other direction. Even to the point of threatening and bribing siblings to explain things to him and trying to low key get the same instructions with women from cyril. Imagine what lucas would be like without having even that much guidance in interacting with people

Saying he will do what it takes to earn the pussy (which itself has to be one of the worst things you could say to a woman on a dating site, it outs you as a creep and someone who made it very clear what you're really after) and then immediately admitting he needs to be told what to do in order to do said earning makes him sound like an incompetent idiot to every woman who reads that and directly contradicts the entire concept of 'earning it' which is something he is clearly too stupid to realize

and of course he blames online dating for 'not evolving enough' for women to want to date him, instead of accepting its his own psycho and creepy actions and the things he says to those women that put them off of him. But of course this is lucas, no matter what he says or does its never his fault and when it is his fault its cause he's 'bipolar' so still not his fault. Nevermind the fact he's also violent, schizophrenic and clearly shows signs of autism but thats stuff lucas refuses to acknowledge anymore cause it makes him look worse than he already does

What does he mean when he has time? He sits on his fat ass all day when his wrangler hasn't forced him to work.

It means he won't do it. He knows that every time he tries it it ends badly for him at best and gets him into legit trouble at worst. Note the multiple caveats he included - when I have the time, when I can, when I have the money. He always includes an excuse as to why he can't do something cause he thinks that means he can never be held accountable for not doing what he says he will. This is textbook lucas behavior that he's done for years, probably for his entire life. Dealing with him as a child must have been a fucking nightmare. I'm not the least bit surprised his parents divorced when he was young. No doubt it had alot to do with king roy having enough of lucas's bullshit and myrnas covering for him cause not doing so reflected badly on her. Notice in lucas's reflections it was always myrna setting him up in a place and dealing with him until even she finally had enough of him, but never mentioned king roy having much of anything to do with him at that point. He knew exactly what lucas was and wanted no part of it. So did myrna as even lucas admits without realizing it but she kept up with looking after him because she thought not doing so reflected badly on her. It was never about him

Also, trying to "look in the real world" to find someone to date will be worse for him because they can smell his unwashed, sweaty ass from a mile away. I can't wait for the excuses/whining when he fails to woo his Gen Z bae in real life as well.

Indeed. Though he won't approach anyone anymore. He's too afraid of getting into trouble. What he will do is sit somewhere and stare creepily at them hoping they make eye contact and get interested in him and come over, set out more of his bait traps - either free shit or setting up games hoping some woman will find him interesting like he did in college, or try to bribe or manipulate someone into hooking him up as he always does. Lucas is a creature of habit that sticks with what works....even when it doesn't work, he just convinces himself they were bigots or something interfered and it'll totally be different this time. Kind of like the whole true communism has never been tried thing

Remember, lucas is famous for making these big plans in his head, believing he works everything out like one of his schizo board games and then either does nothing or just sits there doing the same thing he always does in the end anyway

At some level lucas is aware of this and knows nothing he does works or will work and simply convinces himself otherwise and does it again anyway so as to have an excuse as to why he never gets what he wants and thinks he doesn't look like a loser that way. As i've said before he'd have made a great outer party member in 1984. He has that protective stupidity winston talked about in spades

That said I eagerly await lucas getting paid and his reaction to finding out how much he actually gets out of his pay. Whatever it is he'll blow it on food

Also, I came across this and immediately thought of lucas. He would exploit the hell out of this, and its because of people like him that this idea is going to crash and burn fast. People will take all the good stuff and leave the shit nobody wants and then sue if they get told they can't do it

Oh god he actually said it. He said he wanted to be the fonz. Yeah i'm sure that'll endear you to zoomer baes lucas. Somebody should get him the hat and tell him it'll draw all the hotties in. Lucas clearly wants his zoomer ayyyyyyy

I can just see how fonz lucas would be. With that bizarre accent he likes to put on and his sunglasses and tough act he'd turn into cyrus real quick:

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas is back on his cow talk again. "Shame to be employed and not have a girlfriend". Lots of men who are employed and have full time jobs who don't live in group homes are single, you dumb cow.

Lucas works like maybe 2 days a week.
I bet he works like 10 hours a week. He thinks this is plenty good and the Gen Z baes should form a queue for a chance to have a $65 lamb chop dinner paid for by him. It is important to disclose that the lamb chops are $65.

I bet when he finds that being employed is not helpful in dating Gen Z women he will quit working.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas is back on his cow talk again. "Shame to be employed and not have a girlfriend". Lots of men who are employed and have full time jobs who don't live in group homes are single, you dumb cow.

Lucas works like maybe 2 days a week.
I bet he works like 10 hours a week. He thinks this is plenty good and the Gen Z baes should form a queue for a chance to have a $65 lamb chop dinner paid for by him. It is important to disclose that the lamb chops are $65.

I bet when he finds that being employed is not helpful in dating Gen Z women he will quit working.

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He'll quit or get fired sooner or later. With lucas its not if its when. The only reason he bothered to start at all is because he's greedy and was pissed off he had no money to stuff himself with food. a zoomer bae was secondary as it always is to him. He wants that expensive food and he wants to act like he's the big fish of mallon place and gloat about it. Won't stop him from losing the job eventually though one way or another

and speaking of his job.....

Yeah either that didn't happen at all and lucas is making things up as he always does, or his boss recognizes he's a low iq sped who can barely do the menial tasks he was given and was trying to encourage him the way people do when a sped manages to struggle to do something a normal person can do easily, or fails to do it entirely. We know how lucas looks and acts in public. His weird gait, the stuff he does with his hands, the fact he looks like a mental patient on a day pass. If anything lucas just outed that his boss clearly recognized he's fucked in the head and trying to be nice and encourage him. and he takes it as an actual legit compliment that means he's acting retarded and either barely doing the job or failing at it and having to be encouraged. Lucas can barely do the simplest tasks even with clear instructions from people. We've seen this tons of times. To the point much of the time people have to do those tasks for him to ensure they actually get done properly. You just know they have him doing the simplest shit possible and he still has trouble with it

and of course he's back to the laws of thermodynamics shit. He repeats the same exact argument dozens of times slightly rewording it but saying exactly the same thing and thinks this makes him sound smart. Look up how the laws of physics weren't as they are now around the time of the big bang lucas, look up the ultimate fate of the universe and the law of entropy. Explain how that energy came into existence in the first place lucas. You want to say it wasn't a god or whatever creating it? Ok, then explain what natural process led to it coming into existence lucas

EDIT:

So lucas is stupid enough to admit the whole thing is a ploy to get a zoomer bae. a zoomer bae he absolutely will not get as a result of working. He also left out the real reason is lack of expensive food, its what pisses him off more than anything and how he soothes himself

This post makes it quite clear this job arc won't last that long. He'll figure out after a couple paydays or so that he's having no more success with a job than he was without one and the resentment and confusion will start building, which will turn to anger, which will lead to bad behavior leading to a firing, a rage quit or he'll simply stop showing up for work claiming to have better things to do and that he wasn't getting what he wanted out of it

 

[Da Dude123]

Yep, he said it himself. He thinks this part time job that he got with the help of a tard wrangler is gonna help him get a Gen Z woman. It totally won't.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Yep, he said it himself. He thinks this part time job that he got with the help of a tard wrangler is gonna help him get a Gen Z woman. It totally won't.

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You'd think he would have aged out of being a horn dog by now? How old is Lucas anyway? Late 30s early 40s? But I guess most people probably have had a quite a few women pass thru their life by the time they get to his age so it's no longer anything special. If he wasn't Lucas I would recommend a dog to help with the loneliness but he'd probably rape it

 

[WonderWino]

Nothing lucas has ever done constitutes hard work. and as usual lucas has no idea that its incredibly inappropriate to make a statement like that publicly and that it makes him look like a creep. Talk like that is going to make him a walking liability that'll get his ass shitcanned if any of his coworkers or boss finds out about it

and of course lucas forgets that christians have no reason to be telling him he's going to hell unless he's doing some seriously sketchy shit that would lead to that. What exactly are you doing thats so fucked up you're being told you're going to hell lucas? Clearly you did something that someone pointed out. Thats always the case when you out yourself like that. Hell aside, that shit is usually something you shouldn't be doing anyway, so calling someone a bigot for pointing out you shouldn't be doing sketchy shit says more about you than it does them lucas

Its very clear lucas does believe in the possibility of some kind of hell and is afraid of being punished for his pedo shit and whatnot in a way he can't bs his way out of. He isn't an 'atheist' because he actually doesn't believe in such things, he's an atheist because he's afraid and does what he always does - denies theres anything that can bite him in the ass headed his way. Its his standard MO. Its also rather common among his type of creep. Theres a reason why so many that push atheism as an identity end up turning out to be fucked up people. Its like the anti gay preachers turning out to be closet gays

That said, I won't be the least bit surprised if lucas does something overtly stupid at his job thinking he is being clever, to try to exploit his employment to get what he wants. Like, say, slipping his usual creepy notes into a few of those bag orders he's sent around to fill up. Its a very lucas thing to do and absolutely fits with his history and mentality. He'd also think he would never get caught cause he's that fucking stupid. Can you imagine the shitshow that would result? Especially if it turns out he works at walmart or one of those types of places? He'd be right back in the news and in some pretty serious trouble. If he thought the starbucks incident was bad the fallout from getting caught doing something that stupid would make him blow a gasket. He'd be big mad like he's never been big mad before. He'd likely end up in jail or the nuthouse for a long term stay after that one

You'd think he would have aged out of being a horn dog by now?

To quote captain spaulding in house of 1000 corpses all he wants to do is eat and fuck. Being obsessed with fucking little girls has been his defining characteristic since he was very young. Even his mother pointed this out, to the point the other kids in his classes at least as far back as the late 80s wanted nothing at all to do with him. Like the time lucas invited his entire class to a halloween party and almost nobody showed up and the class went to the party the little girl he creeped on back then instead. Which pissed his mother off to no end. Even with the crazy, obesity, beetus and everything else its drilled into his head, along with eating. Those are really the only two things that define and drive him and the only things he truly cares about

How old is Lucas anyway? Late 30s early 40s?

He'll be 45 in november

If he wasn't Lucas I would recommend a dog to help with the loneliness but he'd probably rape it

Lucas has a history with animal abuse as his one and only ex pointed out with her making a point of bringing her cats with her when she fled the apartment and called the cops when he wouldn't leave. At the very least he'd neglect it and starve it. I'd also not put it entirely past him to legitimately eat it at some point

EDIT:

Again with the fucking food references and talking about repeating the same exact thing he's said for years and which has never once worked for him

and pudding pops are for kids lucas. You're making some real suspicious implications right there

and no lucas, negging doesn't work unless the woman is a retard, and even if she is a retard it will not work for you. Women want nothing to do with you. They want you to ignore them just like they ignore you

Looks like lucas is taking shots at the troons again:

Posting stuff like that during pride month is likely to get him some not so nice attention from facebook, especially if the troons catch wind

Best part though? Facebook auto fact checked him:

 

[not in the cards]

He repeats the same exact argument dozens of times slightly rewording it but saying exactly the same thing and thinks this makes him sound smart. Look up how the laws of physics weren't as they are now around the time of the big bang lucas, look up the ultimate fate of the universe and the law of entropy. Explain how that energy came into existence in the first place lucas. You want to say it wasn't a god or whatever creating it? Ok, then explain what natural process led to it coming into existence lucas

See, what I find funny about Lucas is that not only is he even incapable of arguing this (or indeed any position he takes), but it becomes blatantly obvious that he's willing to drop any of his 'principles' if he thinks it'll land him that teen puss puss that he's angrily demanding from society. It's honestly hard to take someone seriously when they claimed to be a staunch atheist, only to go to a church because they were getting desperate.