Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Pedophobe]

Sounds like the cope is starting to set in. This is how lucas starts talking when he's starting to resent something and wants to spin it as a positive, probably to convince himself

In honor of Pride Month I want to congratulate our boy Lucas on showing up for work. I hope he finds it fulfilling, gets along well with his coworkers, gets in shape and makes some money. You got this Lucas, don't be a cow man.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas must be getting hungry

Because of course lucas would eat half a chicken himself. But who is he kidding, he wouldn't stop at half. He'd also eat the lamb chops as well. We've literally seen him do this. Remember those times he ate a full meal at a restaurant and then a few hours later bragged about going to another restaurant and eating another big meal and thought it was a normal thing to do worth bragging about

Also note he was talking about that chicken and lamb at midnight in spokane. Yeah lucas, cause normal non morbidly obese non food obsessed people totally eat half a chicken as a midnight snack

He's going to eat himself right back onto a dialysis machine if he doesn't get his ass fired or quit first

This is some seriously looney word salad even for lucas. Utter gibberish and proving he can't even get how evolution works right

 

[VoidFace]

Lucas must be getting hungry
View attachment 6052795
Because of course lucas would eat half a chicken himself. But who is he kidding, he wouldn't stop at half. He'd also eat the lamb chops as well. We've literally seen him do this. Remember those times he ate a full meal at a restaurant and then a few hours later bragged about going to another restaurant and eating another big meal and thought it was a normal thing to do worth bragging about

Also note he was talking about that chicken and lamb at midnight in spokane. Yeah lucas, cause normal non morbidly obese non food obsessed people totally eat half a chicken as a midnight snack

He's going to eat himself right back onto a dialysis machine if he doesn't get his ass fired or quit first

View attachment 6052799
This is some seriously looney word salad even for lucas. Utter gibberish and proving he can't even get how evolution works right

I for one am shocked that the guy who dropped his aspirations for a doctorate in biology after failing an intro to bio class doesn't understand evolution. SHOCKED, I say.

 

[Al from Dadeville]

I hope Lucas can save up $4,000 and get scammed by a hooker

 

[WonderWino]

Looks like lucas settled on fixating on the lamb chops

If he's stupid enough to spend that kind of money for lamb chops he's getting scammed. and gee, no red flags there at all, he's already picking out the food for a zoomer bae on a date who he hasn't even met. Yeah no controlling, abusive, manipulative warning signs going on there at all

He clearly hasn't figured out that more expensive != good, high quality or something worth showing off. His swiss cheese brain just automatically assumes this is the case. This attempt to woo a zoomer bae will fail just like it has every other time he's tried it

I also don't know too many zoomer baes that actually like lamb. Lots of people hate lamb, especially younger people. He's in washington state not the UK or australia

Speaking of chops too bad lucas wouldn't get it into his head that zoomer baes love 19th century style muttonchop sideburns and decide to grow his beard out until he looks like he's cosplaying general burnside. That would really finish off the crazy hobo look rather well

 

[SteveGoatman]

God, he is such a cow. Hasn't even got his first paycheck and thinks he can afford to spend a week in Hawaii. Looking up airfare, round trip tickets before taxes from Spokane to Honolulu are about 400 dollars at least. And even crappy motels would probably run around $100 a day. I could see him thinking he could stay in a ragman shelter . Conservatively, I bet he would blow through at least 1700 in a week out there. No way could Lil Cow Werner afford to do that.

Look at those weens trying to root him on. "You deserve it". Yeah, sure he does.

View attachment 6052133

"I hate doing math. Somebody fill me in".....Jesus Christ....yeah adding up a bunch of costs that you absolutely can't afford, related to a trip you'll never take, during your downtime from such a busy work schedule sure is tough.

 

[WonderWino]

"I hate doing math. Somebody fill me in".....Jesus Christ....yeah adding up a bunch of costs that you absolutely can't afford, related to a trip you'll never take, during your downtime from such a busy work schedule sure is tough.

I could legitimately see lucas just ballparking a number that sounds about right in his head to pay for his trip that would only cover the ticket to get there and maybe a few meals and ends up not leaving enough for him not to be totally broke within 48 hours of landing. I can also see him subconsciously knowing this and factoring it in in such a way where he just assumes he'll stay at homeless shelters and eat there and worst case scenario someone will bail him out like in LA. He wouldn't understand the difference in scenarios there or why its unlikely to happen a second time. Especially given he paid to put himself in that situation. Lucas would never be able to get into a shelter in hawaii as a visitor cause there are way too many hobos lining up for the very limited resources the islands have for hobos like him. Its nothing like spokane. Hobos get stuck there all the time with no way back and end up living in parks or getting themselves stabbed by some meth head or arrested. For lucas hawaii would be almost as dangerous as LA would have been had he stayed

Lucas always assumes that no matter how badly he fucks up someone will bail him out of it, either the government or someone he manipulates into it. Watch him get a one way ticket because its cheaper and then blow all his money and have no way home

That said hawaii has a very low tolerance for creeper behavior on its beaches and in its bars like lucas engages in. In spokane he gets kicked out and banned, in hawaii he's likely to get his ass beat and then arrested

Plus with lucas's health, being homeless anywhere in hawaii in august, when he says he wants to go there would be dangerous. He couldn't even handle the heat in spokane in the summer without collapsing and ending up in the hospital half dead. Hawaii has a much hotter and more humid climate. Sweaty, sticky, bug eyed, reeking lucas waddling around the beaches wouldn't last long and he'd get his ass robbed if he tried to live in the park. His plans here are setting himself up for a really bad situation and he's too stupid to know it. Not that it'll happen as he'll either stop working before august comes around or spend his pay on food as quickly as he earns it

and he sure does love talking nonsense lately:

He thinks you can go past the edge of the universe and end up on the other side like its connected ffs. Every word of that is nonsensical gibberish and not based on anything but his own delusions. Where does he even get this stuff? Even wikipedia says the exact opposite of the stuff he is saying here

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Wanna crowd fund his trip to the island? I got 50 on it.

 

[WonderWino]

More big words used in bizarre ways thinking it makes him sound smart

and math sentient species is a really weird and utterly nonsensical thing to say. It must have galled his english teacher to let him get on honor roll for being a tard

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I miss Lucas' big boy words Youtube videos. They were the funniest.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

He thinks you can go past the edge of the universe and end up on the other side like its connected ffs. Every word of that is nonsensical gibberish and not based on anything but his own delusions. Where does he even get this stuff? Even wikipedia says the exact opposite of the stuff he is saying here

what he's trying to articulate is Einstein's theory that the universe is the three-dimensional surface of a hypersphere (four-dimensional analogue of a sphere), so if you travel in one direction for long enough, you'll eventually end up back in the same place
what he gets wrong is that by definition, a surface like that has no edges

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I’m loving the return of scientist Wern. His dalliance with time travel was what got me into following him. He is the guy who read a couple books about quantum physics and thinks if he throws some terms around people will think he is smart.

I mean seriously, wtf is this?!

 

[WonderWino]

This has to be one of the stupidest science related things he's ever tried to claim:

No we do not see 93 billion year old galaxies lucas. and no lucas there is no such thing as faster than light entropy, nor does anything else you're saying make the slightest bit of sense

Also funny how he talks about entropy but forgets its a thing when claiming the big crunch is a thing. I swear his brain can twist things around into total nonsensical lunacy better than a party member from 1984. Speaking of which that world is about his only possible way he'd ever breed. After all party members are not allowed to get married or reproduce if there is any indication they are attracted to each other, and every female party member would be utterly repulsed by him. Might be good for the party though, it would give a huge boost to the anti sex league i'm sure

EDIT:

Lucas sure is on a looney science manic cycle lately. This one is just bizarre

Lucas logic at its finest: aliens travelling a long way to meet dinosaurs (lolwut?) would have to be able to predict they'd die out and humans would evolve because they have the technology to get here. Because logic. Thats some real broke brain logic going on there lucas. Clearly he never considered how many things had to happen just to create a situation where humans had the possibility to evolve. If anything we're a fluke, if the dinosaurs didn't get wiped out by that asteroid its far more likely some kind of intelligent reptile evolved from them would be here instead of us. As usual lucas never thinks about nor understands the stuff he says

Brokeposting reminding us just how bald lucas is and thats from 2 years ago. By now he's probably starting to look like a medieval monk with a tonsure. Notice how he always angles his pictures in a particular way to avoid getting a good look at his head that would show off his baldness, and how far his hairline has receded at this point. Yet he keeps the fucking rat tail. Eventually lucas will be bald as fuck with nothing but a rat tail hanging off the base of his skull, thinking the zoomer baes love it. Like some kind of hobo version of general chang

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

"I hate doing math. Somebody fill me in".....Jesus Christ....yeah adding up a bunch of costs that you absolutely can't afford, related to a trip you'll never take, during your downtime from such a busy work schedule sure is tough.

Financially Illiterate Older Daddy

 

[Mike Hunt]

I know some of you guys are excited for Scientist Lucas, but Hobo Lucas is where it's at for me, so I hope he does buy that one-way ticket to Hawaii after getting his pittance of a check for a few hours of labor and gets stuck there but still has access to public library wifi so we're updated.

Him trying to act tough in his hobo-era videos while darting his eyes constantly from side to side out of fear of people hearing him was absolute kino.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas is all excited because he apparently found something he liked at the food bank

Definitely a normal thing for a man in his 40s to get excited and brag about

So....incoming wernslop video or pics I assume

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Brokeposting reminding us just how bald lucas is and thats from 2 years ago

Jesus he should shave the top and keep the pony tail like some medieval Japanese man.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I know some of you guys are excited for Scientist Lucas, but Hobo Lucas is where it's at for me, so I hope he does buy that one-way ticket to Hawaii after getting his pittance of a check for a few hours of labor and gets stuck there but still has access to public library wifi so we're updated.

Him trying to act tough in his hobo-era videos while darting his eyes constantly from side to side out of fear of people hearing him was absolute kino.

Angry hobo Lucas screaming in the streets is dead, sadly. Telemere expert scientist Lucas is the best we can hope for.

 

[WonderWino]

Angry hobo Lucas screaming in the streets is dead, sadly. Telemere expert scientist Lucas is the best we can hope for.

Lucas's life is one giant never ending circle of fucking himself over. He'll fuck up his housing eventually, one way or another. He always does. The end of the job will be a major step in that. He was stewing in his own anger over not having money to stuff himself, which is why he went so far as to get a job. Had that not happened he would have built himself up to an incident one way or another out of frustration and anger. Then he'd end up back on the street and stuffing himself with tardbux and trying to live in shelters

With lucas its always a matter of when not if. Short of him dropping dead it'll happen eventually

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Lucas can't waddle around like he used to, though. So, even if he's homeless again, he is aware and scared enough to control himself when people are near.