Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

Which ones?

He deleted the one darkwing posted in the previous page. Don't remember the title. Haven't kept up with each video insanity on his Youtube so don't know if he deleted others.

ETA:
Hey Lucas, combing your hair back to cover the bald is not working. To much bald in the back of your head and not enough hair left to cover it.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Hahah oh geez
He tried to make it into a ponytail to cover it up, that doesn't work, and according to Lucas, women insult the ponytail too.

 

[mothman96]

 

[wenttobermuda]

Lucas doesn't play characters, as he has unconvincingly claimed. He is, however, a creep who transparently tailors his self presentation in consistent ways to manipulate people. Another way of thinking of it, his videos broadly fall into recognizable categories.

Here is an incomplete list:

Chef Wern. Obese glutton and creator of cheesy cukes and popcorn pasta.
The Lurker in Darkness. Holds court in a darkened room on his favorite subjects.
Lucas da Pussy God. "Neener neen neener, gitta strait quacinna." Mimics Lacie's ex, and Zoomer slang, as a mating call.
Euphoric Atheist Lucas. Explains the glories and challenges of atheism like an ignorant and edgy teen.
Drunk, Shirtless Lucas. Sloppy, sweaty and showing moobs.
Lucas the Scientist Without a Degree. He'd like to science you on to his dick, and educate you about telomeres: putting them in your butt is beneficial for you.
Homeless Lucas. Live from the street, or a porta potty, with a schizo public nuisance who cannot hide his illness and menace.
Lucas the Prophet. Delivers rambling jeremiads, accuses Xtians of being unXian, and misquotes the Bible.
Social Justice Lucas. Rails against racism, classism, homophobia and bigotry in an attempt to appeal to Gen Z; calls people niggers and faggots.
Comrade Lucas. Appeals to Gen Z's alleged socialist leanings by complaining about capitalism and Republicans, urges people to "take it up with Bernie."
Medicated Lucas. Slower, calmer, and fatter.

He seems to currently transition between Homeless Lucas, Lucas the Prophet, and Comrade Lucas. Sometimes in the same video. I miss Chef Lucas.

What'd I miss?

 

[chantix]

Oh ffs Lucas - it is not about the money, the politics, the religion or the age, it is YOU totally reeking of mental illness.

No one wants to have a relationship with a broken brain, how hard is it to understand this already?!

 

[Wernology]

He's deleting recent videos. I hope someone archived the screaming one.

I got the one where he screams about money worship and about "some fat bitch" who came up to insult him.

Unfortunately, whatever it was he'd posted this morning I missed as work actually was busy today.

Hopefully someone else grabbed it.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

Lucas doesn't play characters, as he has unconvincingly claimed. He is, however, a creep who transparently tailors his self presentation in consistent ways to manipulate people. Another way of thinking of it, his videos broadly fall into recognizable categories.

Here is an incomplete list:

Chef Wern. Obese glutton and creator of cheesy cukes and popcorn pasta.
The Lurker in Darkness. Holds court in a darkened room on his favorite subjects.
Lucas da Pussy God. "Neener neen neener, gitta strait quacinna." Mimics Lacie's ex, and Zoomer slang, as a mating call.
Euphoric Atheist Lucas. Explains the glories and challenges of atheism like an ignorant and edgy teen.
Drunk, Shirtless Lucas. Sloppy, sweaty and showing moobs.
Lucas the Scientist Without a Degree. He'd like to science you on to his dick, and educate you about telomeres: putting them in your butt is beneficial for you.
Homeless Lucas. Live from the street, or a porta potty, with a schizo public nuisance who cannot hide his illness and menace.
Lucas the Prophet. Delivers rambling jeremiads, accuses Xtians of being unXian, and misquotes the Bible.
Social Justice Lucas. Rails against racism, classism, homophobia and bigotry in an attempt to appeal to Gen Z; calls people niggas and faggots.
Comrade Lucas. Appeals to Gen Z's alleged socialist leanings by complaining about capitalism and Republicans, urges people to "take it up with Bernie."
Medicated Lucas. Slower, calmer, and fatter.

He seems to currently transition between Homeless Lucas, Lucas the Prophet, and Comrade Lucas. Sometimes in the same video. I miss Chef Lucas.

What'd I miss?

Medicated and Homeless Lucas are the best, seeing him too fat and medicated to do anything is funny, and homeless is just how he started his journey to infamy

View attachment 1223914

Hahah oh geez
He tried to make it into a ponytail to cover it up, that doesn't work, and according to Lucas, women insult the ponytail too.

Tfw even the voices in your head make fun of your bald spot ponytail

 

[WonderWino]

The more lucas tries to distance himself from being a creeper the more of a walking stereotype of a creeper he becomes. ffs he is literally trying to do the creepy uncle hideous comb over, which is a common stereotype for creepy uncles. On that note, if his brothers ever have the misfortune of reproducing and spreading their clearly fucked up dna.....lucas will become a literal creepy uncle, pedo behavior, creepy comb over, drinking problem and all, right down to the 'we make a point of keeping the creepy uncle away from family gatherings and moved to get away from him' stereotype

Chef Wern. Obese glutton and creator of cheesy cukes and popcorn pasta.
The Lurker in Darkness. Holds court in a darkened room on his favorite subjects.
Lucas da Pussy God. "Neener neen neener, gitta strait quacinna." Mimics Lacie's ex, and Zoomer slang, as a mating call.
Euphoric Atheist Lucas. Explains the glories and challenges of atheism like an ignorant and edgy teen.
Drunk, Shirtless Lucas. Sloppy, sweaty and showing moobs.
Lucas the Scientist Without a Degree. He'd like to science you on to his dick, and educate you about telomeres: putting them in your butt is beneficial for you.
Homeless Lucas. Live from the street, or a porta potty, with a schizo public nuisance who cannot hide his illness and menace.
Lucas the Prophet. Delivers rambling jeremiads, accuses Xtians of being unXian, and misquotes the Bible.
Social Justice Lucas. Rails against racism, classism, homophobia and bigotry in an attempt to appeal to Gen Z; calls people niggas and faggots.
Comrade Lucas. Appeals to Gen Z's alleged socialist leanings by complaining about capitalism and Republicans, urges people to "take it up with Bernie."
Medicated Lucas. Slower, calmer, and fatter.

On reading that list i'm starting to think there is a real market for a lolcow ripoff of the card game concept in games like star trek timelines. You know, players collect various cards of multiple iterations of lolcows of differing rarity, including some made specifically for the game. Chef wern could be a 5 star rarity, along with special furry lucas and a dumb and dumber style card that you get when you combine a 3 star version of lucas or greater with a russel greer card. There is also potential for crossover cards with munchie lucas and legs amputated from the beetus lucas

and on that note, you left out the most obvious one: creeper lucas, where he gives that unnatural facial expression combined with that thing he does with his eyes to look more demented. Found primarily in libraries, restaurants and underground parking lots

Oh and angry jailhouse lucas....who gets thrown in jail after throwing glasses around. Probably straight jacket psych ward lucas as well, who sits around the common room in the nuthouse playing dominos, creeping on the mentally ill meth addicted women and trying to buy the crazy girls off with chips and candy

....which brings up the final one you missed, candyman lucas. Obviously a reference to him leaving soda and candy around to little girls to get baited into contacting him....but i'm sure candyman lucas could be interpreted in many ways with a name like that. Certainly not the version of lucas any woman wants to meet

 

[Da Dude123]

Not so much the religion, although, him not being able to shut the hell up about being an atheist is a negative quality. Lucas is truly someone that lacks any positive qualities. He is mentally ill, which even if you have it under control, many people will still want nothing to do with you. But he also is extremely ugly, fat, has a bad personality, a bad temper, lacks manners, has a very inflated opinion of himself etc. And he can moo and ree about Bernie Sanders all he wants. No one, including his supporters are interested in dating a ragman who lives on the streets and has all of the above terrible qualities.

Oh ffs Lucas - it is not about the money, the politics, the religion or the age, it is YOU totally reeking of mental illness.

No one wants to have a relationship with a broken brain, how hard is it to understand this already?!

 

[Al from Dadeville]

How much has Lucas's bald spot grown?

Spoiler

In conclusion...


this nigga do be really bald.

 

[AnOminous]

I want to see Fundie Christian Lucas after his schiz starts talking to him in the Voice of God.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

How much has Lucas's bald spot grown?

Spoiler

View attachment 1224126

In conclusion...


this nigga do be really bald.

Lucas is approximately 1.75 trash cans High. That means Lucas is almost 200% full of garbage. QED.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas is approximately 1.75 trash cans High. That means Lucas is almost 200% full of garbage. QED.

.....and his walking speed is 40 rods to the hogshead of pep sticks, fished out of said garbage

 

[skellig58]

Late- but I thought Lucas had a niece he was very creepy about. There's a pic somewhere here of a tweenish blonde girl playing a meeple game - if I remember correctly? He said some sick shit about how he could have totally molested her as well... I think?

 

[Rogowski]

Lucas doesn't play characters, as he has unconvincingly claimed. He is, however, a creep who transparently tailors his self presentation in consistent ways to manipulate people. Another way of thinking of it, his videos broadly fall into recognizable categories.

Here is an incomplete list:

Chef Wern. Obese glutton and creator of cheesy cukes and popcorn pasta.
The Lurker in Darkness. Holds court in a darkened room on his favorite subjects.
Lucas da Pussy God. "Neener neen neener, gitta strait quacinna." Mimics Lacie's ex, and Zoomer slang, as a mating call.
Euphoric Atheist Lucas. Explains the glories and challenges of atheism like an ignorant and edgy teen.
Drunk, Shirtless Lucas. Sloppy, sweaty and showing moobs.
Lucas the Scientist Without a Degree. He'd like to science you on to his dick, and educate you about telomeres: putting them in your butt is beneficial for you.
Homeless Lucas. Live from the street, or a porta potty, with a schizo public nuisance who cannot hide his illness and menace.
Lucas the Prophet. Delivers rambling jeremiads, accuses Xtians of being unXian, and misquotes the Bible.
Social Justice Lucas. Rails against racism, classism, homophobia and bigotry in an attempt to appeal to Gen Z; calls people niggas and faggots.
Comrade Lucas. Appeals to Gen Z's alleged socialist leanings by complaining about capitalism and Republicans, urges people to "take it up with Bernie."
Medicated Lucas. Slower, calmer, and fatter.

He seems to currently transition between Homeless Lucas, Lucas the Prophet, and Comrade Lucas. Sometimes in the same video. I miss Chef Lucas.

What'd I miss?

Dont forget Jaded Boomer Lucas, the guy who spends his time bitching about the kids running around Spokane disrespecting their elders while repping fashion he doesn’t understand, listening to music he doesn’t understand, and being completely out of touch with the world he desperately wants to be a part of.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

The more lucas tries to distance himself from being a creeper the more of a walking stereotype of a creeper he becomes. ffs he is literally trying to do the creepy uncle hideous comb over, which is a common stereotype for creepy uncles. On that note, if his brothers ever have the misfortune of reproducing and spreading their clearly fucked up dna.....lucas will become a literal creepy uncle, pedo behavior, creepy comb over, drinking problem and all, right down to the 'we make a point of keeping the creepy uncle away from family gatherings and moved to get away from him' stereotype

Lucas IS a creepy uncle. “Younger than my youngest niece” is one of his go-to “pickup lines”.

 

[Al from Dadeville]

Lucas is approximately 1.75 trash cans High. That means Lucas is almost 200% full of garbage. QED.

I estimated his height using this handsome trash can:

Spoiler

He has a lot in common with this trash can: domed top, bumpy exterior, they can last outside for years. The difference is that nobody describes him as handsome.

 

[BIG CATS]

Late- but I thought Lucas had a niece he was very creepy about. There's a pic somewhere here of a tweenish blonde girl playing a meeple game - if I remember correctly? He said some sick shit about how he could have totally molested her as well... I think?

Yeah, he posted a photo of her on his Meeple Toss gamecrafter page. It’s his niece playing the game in Green Valley AZ with Myrna.

 

[Fatal Walter]

His niece isn't blood related to him, I think. You know how much he rails against incest for whatever reason. Maybe just because he doesn't have any young relatives anyway. What he said was that maybe she'd have sex with him when she turned 18. He thought that made it not creepy. And yeah also that "you're younger than my youngest niece. That along with other reasons really turns me on" line. I can't even.
Edit: She was 11 when he said that first one.

 

[wenttobermuda]

His niece isn't blood related to him, I think. You know how much he rails against incest for whatever reason. Maybe just because he doesn't have any young relatives anyway. What he said was that maybe she'd have sex with him when she turned 18. He thought that made it not creepy. And yeah also that "you're younger than my youngest niece. That along with other reasons really turns me on" line. I can't even.
Edit: She was 11 when he said that first one.

Has Lucas reached the point, pioneered by Nick Bate, where he's impossible to A-log? That mad at the internet doesn't apply?

Just in case, die Lucas, die.