Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Kromir]

What's worst is that these acts of generosity that he thinks entitles him to sex are never from his own resources. How can you be generous with that slice of pizza when it came from Taxation in the form of your disability check or from the the good graces of charity or the homeless shelter. Yeah you are real generous Pukas, I am sure you slobbered all over that single slice of pizza you gave him while you were eating like a whale.

 

[Burned CDs]

I wouldn't have even opened the door for him.

"Peetha. I got you thum peetha."

 

[Wernology]

Did he ever end up eating your catfish? If he wasted it then he insulted poor people, especially starving African children. You didn't send him to LA for nothing, he was given a free catfish, after he paid hundreds for a flight. He should've been greatful not mad.

No, the slob just left it in the motel room for the staff to deal with like the disgusting pig he is.

 

[Trainwreck]

Guess it's good that Lucas is bulking up for the winter, he'sgonna need the fat! We are supposed to have a La Nina winter and are predicted to get a ton of snow. In true form, Lucas' only cares in the world are food and obsessing about teen puss puss instead of spending money on things he needs such as an actual winter coat and a good pair of boots.

I wonder if mama Myrna is going to send him a birthday present next month?

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Why would Lucas bother spending his money on something like a good winter coat? No, things like clothes, food and shelter are things given to him. They are things he expects to receive.

His money? That’s for pure indulgence in large quantities of good food from nice restaurants. Because no one is going to give that to him. But he sure does deserve it.

And it demonstrates to those gen z women that he has the means to show them a great time with expensive food just like those flat bills driving those Honda Accords. Those insufferable guys with jobs.

 

[Da Dude123]

How long till Lucas gets a roommate? Surely they won't keep letting him live alone? Unless he was paying for a single room. It sounds like that place has sliding fees. They may know that Lucas does not mix well with others, but would they give him his own private room due to being unable to live with others?

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

On Instagram, his next board game design is literally about shitting. After Zoomer chicks, food, and board games, defecation is his next highest interest.

 

[Wernology]

On Instagram, his next board game design is literally about shitting. After Zoomer chicks, food, and board games, defecation is his next highest interest.

Such an interesting look into his actual fetishes.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Once again showing the world that female anatomy is beyond him

Lucas thinks he has magical electric sperm that cures diseases.
I don't think he's exactly the leading expert on male anatomy either.

If Lucas had any class at all, he would've said grace and eaten the catfish.

If the Mallon arc involves Lucas ballooning up in weight, then it has promise after all. Lucas was once a self-described "6xl." He has the potential to be big, deathfat faggot. Fatter is funnier. Also, as his waistline expands, his hygiene will become more interesting to observe.

His feet were in the early stages of disintegrating from beetus BEFORE he ballooned up at Mallon Place.
His health may soon may make a dive-bomb.

On Instagram, his next board game design is literally about shitting. After Zoomer chicks, food, and board games, defecation is his next highest interest.

Good lord, you aren't kidding:

How do you even win this game?

 

[Zoomer Bae]

I’ll take the broom over Lucas, no contest.

 

[mothman96]

How long till Lucas gets a roommate? Surely they won't keep letting him live alone? Unless he was paying for a single room. It sounds like that place has sliding fees. They may know that Lucas does not mix well with others, but would they give him his own private room due to being unable to live with others?

I don't think so. If Mallon Place got more people moving in, he would get a roommate and they'd tell the Freak to watch his step.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

This turds game is the most lucid game he's made yet

 

[Svetlana Helsinki]

I’ll take the broom over Lucas, no contest. View attachment 2665544

For some reason, tall thin/athletic guys usually have good dick, though.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

I’ll take the broom over Lucas, no contest

Yup. At least brooms are useful and have a purpose in this world.

On Instagram, his next board game design is literally about shitting. After Zoomer chicks, food, and board games, defecation is his next highest interest.

Oh good lord. A game about turds!? How charming. He's every woman's dream man. Who wouldn't want to hang out with 300+ lb smelly hobo and play a game about literal shit.

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

This turds game is the most lucid game he's made yet

His inspiration came from the prodigious bowel movement he had after eating all that Mexican food and pizza

 

[Black Lives Matter]

His inspiration came from the prodigious bowel movement he had after eating all that Mexican food and pizza

Cafeteria Uprising Aftermath

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Cafeteria Uprising Aftermath

Cafeteria Unloading 2: Electric Poopaloo

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas thinks he has magical electric sperm that cures diseases.
I don't think he's exactly the leading expert on male anatomy either.

His feet were in the early stages of disintegrating from beetus BEFORE he ballooned up at Mallon Place.
His health may soon may make a dive-bomb.


Good lord, you aren't kidding:
View attachment 2665539
How do you even win this game?

You win the game by eating lots of fiber and staying regular i'm sure. Ironic considering lucas's own diet is all fat and carbs

That said he's just asking to get called a squonk, or a pedo squonk. Bonus points if someone tells him that squonk is some foreign term for a pedo, like nonce is to the british, just to see how he responds to it

On that note, apparently as a word it means 'out of alignment; not square; distorted.' which describes lucas just as accurately. So basically you're playing a game about being a 'distorted' person, aka with mental problems, that shits alot. Yeah that definitely sounds like a self insert by lucas. Mental patient that shits alot (and probably himself) describes him to a T

Also:

Urban Dictionary: squonk

The act of squeezing e-liquid from the reservoir of a bottom-fed e-cig mod up into the atomizer.

www.urbandictionary.com

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

You win the game by eating lots of fiber and staying regular i'm sure. Ironic considering lucas's own diet is all fat and carbs

That said he's just asking to get called a squonk, or a pedo squonk. Bonus points if someone tells him that squonk is some foreign term for a pedo, like nonce is to the british, just to see how he responds to it

On that note, apparently as a word it means 'out of alignment; not square; distorted.' which describes lucas just as accurately. So basically you're playing a game about being a 'distorted' person, aka with mental problems, that shits alot. Yeah that definitely sounds like a self insert by lucas. Mental patient that shits alot (and probably himself) describes him to a T

Also:

Urban Dictionary: squonk

The act of squeezing e-liquid from the reservoir of a bottom-fed e-cig mod up into the atomizer.

www.urbandictionary.com

U mean u didn't know "Squonk" meant nonce in British slang? I admit it's an odd coincidence, but there it is.

Lucas is a such a Squonk.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Come, enjoy a game about excreting turds from your butthole. Stimulate your mind by figuring out how many turds to handle, and where to drop your turds. Out of your butthole, onto the plenty good hand drawn map. Turds.

Why turds, and squonks? The squonk is a thinly veiled, self-insert mary sue. In folklore, the squonk is known for being hideous, and weeping constantly. It is a grotesque creature driven to sorrow by self-knowledge. Lucas must identify with the foul, sad squonk. But rather than make a game about the squonk's fabled tears, he focusses on turds. This is not funny, just an amusing window into his psyche.