Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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Freezin'
Rests his head on a pillow made of concrete again
Oh, feelin'
Maybe they'll believe in his faulty telomeres

Oh, hand out
It's all he knows whether food or female
Oh, dark grin
He can't help but to always looks insane

Even flow, dumb thoughts arrive like garbage flies
Oh, he don't know, so he posts them anyway
Oh, someday yet he'll get kicked out of
His fart box again, fart box again

Kneelin'
Lookin at the staff with his beetus feet
Oh, prayin'
to communism that has never showed him anything

Oh, feelin'
Understands the weather of the winter's on its way
Oh, ceilings
Few and far between all the internet posts of shame

Even flow, dumb thoughts arrive like garbage flies
Oh, he don't know, so he posts them anyway
Oh, someday yet he'll kicked out of his fartbox again
Whispering hands gently lead him away

Him away, him away
Yeah, ooh, ah yeah, fuck it up

Even flow, thoughts arrive like garbage flies
Oh, he don't know, so he posts them anyway
Ah, someday yet he'll get kicked out of His fart box again
Whispering hands gently lead him away

Him away, him away
Yeah, ooh
 
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Twrx said:
Along with people making his bed, did he ever learn to tell time from an analog watch? I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even know how to make a bed.
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The whole wanting to make his own bed thing was BS. He would never make his bed. What he misses is having money to eat Clinkerdaggers and Attilanos and his food stamps. Mallon place being greedy capitalist Christians, they took all that away. Bernie Sanders upon them! AOC upon them!
 
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Da Dude123 said:
The whole wanting to make his own bed thing was BS. He would never make his bed. What he misses is having money to eat Clinkerdaggers and Attilanos and his food stamps. Mallon place being greedy capitalist Christians, they took all that away. Bernie Sanders upon them! AOC upon them!
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I expect lucas to fuck up and get kicked out of mallon place a few months from now. he'll relatively behave while theres snow outside everywhere, but his cabin fever and gluttony will make him do his predictable tard rage chimpout sooner or later.
 
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WHY DID HE USE THIS PHOTO LMAO
 

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klickitat said:
Lucas gave us more Oliver Dangle, who is now a "simple black man who stole his kawasaki motorcycle" despite everything being...free.

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Your narration, critique and commentary of this Oliver Dangle saga is fucking hilarious @klickitat. Thank you, sir. As an aside, I think you should nick-name your puppy Rowdy Peter.
 
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The Mega Micro said:
He wouldn’t know how he’d feel about it.
View attachment 2860239
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Burn friction?
So basically Lucas knows that at some level being anally fucked is painful in at least one way.
Yet we all know is fantasy is to anally fist his hypothetical wife.

klickitat said:
Interesting that this is immediately where his brain went.

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"Would you eat three steaks for free?" - This is something Lucas would do.
"Would you rape?" Says Lucas, this following something everyone knows that Lucas would do.
 
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Fatal Walter said:
View attachment 2863483
I don't have any inside sources. I don't think Lucas does either, though. You'd think he'd be right more often even if he was just guessing.
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The lack of self awareness in that screenshot is astounding. Lucas is a middle aged hobo who brags about getting drunk on literal hobo booze in the woods....and usually ends up getting robbed as a result. His 'inside sources' is just his way of trying to manipulate people again. He thinks by claiming that it'll somehow scare people into keeping their mouths shut about him. He's tried to make that claim before and kept posting about how he had an insider in this thread. Its also his way of convincing himself that he's hiding the fact that he reads the thread constantly by claiming he has some kind of pro wern operative in the thread

In other words, lucas is proving he's an idiot again
 
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Y'all, Oliver Dangle's kid with his now named 21 year old wife: Will Day Dangle.

I REFUSE to believe he doesn't know that's easily read as "will they dangle?"

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How I know Lucas listens to my streams: I specifically was joking around about how, since there were no laws and everyone could just take anything, I now owned the sun, a shield to prevent anyone from 'stealing' the light and radiation from me, and enough of a defense force to repel anything Mr. Dangle and his partner Rowdy Pete could throw at me, and he posts this a day later:

Guess what I'm taking next, since there are no laws and anyone can do whatever they want? Gonna put that little mini black hole right in my 3d printed pocket using my 3d printed mini black hole grabber and add it to the sun I own. 🤣

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I am fully aware that the above is ridiculous but it's also effortless and entertaining and I love the fact that it makes him mad enough to respond.
 
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klickitat said:
Y'all, Oliver Dangle's kid with his now named 21 year old wife: Will Day Dangle.

I REFUSE to believe he doesn't know that's easily read as "will they dangle?"

View attachment 2863917

How I know Lucas listens to my streams: I specifically was joking around about how, since there were no laws and everyone could just take anything, I now owned the sun, a shield to prevent anyone from 'stealing' the light and radiation from me, and enough of a defense force to repel anything Mr. Dangle and his partner Rowdy Pete could throw at me, and he posts this a day later:

Guess what I'm taking next, since there are no laws and anyone can do whatever they want? Gonna put that little mini black hole right in my 3d printed pocket using my 3d printed mini black hole grabber and add it to the sun I own. 🤣

View attachment 2863921

I am fully aware that the above is ridiculous but it's also effortless and entertaining and I love the fact that it makes him mad enough to respond.
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Will Day Dangle? Will they dangle? Amanda Dangle? A man to dangle? Oliver Dangle? All of her dangle? It seems that Lucas wants people to take his stories seriously, but cannot resist an opportunity for a pun.

I hope he continues to write, and produces a bumcel The Fountainhead, with Allofher Dangle as his John Galt.

I'm working on some OCs for the setting. So far, I have Phill Butts, who bullied Oliver Dangle in grade school; Gray Beard, who bullied Oliver in HS and dated the girl Oliver stalked; Dr. Bill Flatt, the psychiatrist who prescribes Oliver Dangle's anti-psychotics; and Muffin, a feral dog who often steals Oliver's food and sexually assaults him.
 
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klickitat said:
Y'all, Oliver Dangle's kid with his now named 21 year old wife: Will Day Dangle.

I REFUSE to believe he doesn't know that's easily read as "will they dangle?"

View attachment 2863917

How I know Lucas listens to my streams: I specifically was joking around about how, since there were no laws and everyone could just take anything, I now owned the sun, a shield to prevent anyone from 'stealing' the light and radiation from me, and enough of a defense force to repel anything Mr. Dangle and his partner Rowdy Pete could throw at me, and he posts this a day later:

Guess what I'm taking next, since there are no laws and anyone can do whatever they want? Gonna put that little mini black hole right in my 3d printed pocket using my 3d printed mini black hole grabber and add it to the sun I own. 🤣

View attachment 2863921

I am fully aware that the above is ridiculous but it's also effortless and entertaining and I love the fact that it makes him mad enough to respond.
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Congratulations on your ownership of the sun, by the way! It's put quite the spanner in the works of Oliver Dangle and Rowdy Peter I imagine. Can't wait to experience the next thrilling chapter in your tale!
 
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