Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Bassomatic said:
I won't try to bible sperg too long but, before most people lived long written word was known by almost all on earth etc, your basic old man was the wiki of the town. Luck wasn't much understood but if you lived to 70 in the time of Jesus, you were respected since you had time to know more, in fact the Greeks talked about it, (while living long mostly aside death in childhood or war)

Whats funny this quote is loosely tied to honor thy mother and father, who he wants to die.. because he assumes he gets money, again part of it goes to they have lived longer so know more things.
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Just to expand on what you said here, i'll point out that the reason such old men were viewed as the wiki of the time is because they legitimately did have comparatively long lives and alot of experience as a result of what for the average person was a difficult and strenuous life by our standards. They earned their wisdom and respect. Lucas on the other hand assumes that age automatically means maturity, knowledge and is deserving of respect. Despite the fact he has less life experience than the average college age young adult. He's not even particularly good at being a hobo and isn't even capable of figuring out how to play DS games designed for kids, or how to fill out simple forms. At best he'll always be the failed crazy old man who spouts nonsense and everybody ignores as crazy and will have to sit back and seethe at his elderly neighbors telling war stories and talking about their lives to younger people who visit the nursing home
 
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ThomasAudley said:
Looks like Lucas might be in rutting season again. Time to kick the meds and hit the street, I'm sure his foot is fine and ready for some Clinkerniggers
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[in best peter graves voice] The coming of spring brings with it the fresh scent of fecund zoomer baes on the wind and thus the start of the rutting season for the wern. He instinctively senses their ovulation, which triggers several physiological changes in the werns body - his winter fat stores begin to shrink as he begins his treks, prowling long hours in the streets and wilderness of spokane. Only occasionally stopping to gorge himself on clinkerdaggers to begin building up his fat reserves in preparation for the next winter. During this time he is especially vulnerable, as his reasoning is quickly overridden by his instinct to breed and can easily bring him into conflict with older silverback greybeards if he should wander into their territory. The wern seeks to gather various items, such a trinkets, board games and peperoni sticks to put out as mating displays to announce his ability o provide for his mate, and to being re-establishing his territory by marking various telephone poles and street lights with copies of his mating notes encased in duct tape, or plastered directly onto some surfaces using his own telomerase rich secretions. The wern attempts to stalk his intended mate, to ascertain its viability as a breeder and he must be careful not to alert his targets with heavy breathing or the telltale thump-scrape-thump sound that announces to all that a wern is nearby and dragging his foot as he approaches, lest she flee like a skittish deer. Join us next week for our in depth documentary on the wern and his mating habits on the discovery channel as our creeps and predators marathon continues with episode 2: the werns natural habitat and episode 3: the latent bisexual mating strategies of the wern and their effects on local zoomers and greybeard rivals
 
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Fatal Walter said:
I'm not 100% sure what the way of righteousness is
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Proverbs is from the Old Testament, and refers to the fact that life was hard and short back in the day. someone that lived to an old enough age to have grey hair would likely be one that followed the general principles laid out in the Old Testament, like not laying with animals or refusing to eat certain foods, abstaining from murder, et c. things that are more likely than not to get you dead back then (and even today if you live fairly primitively).

Lucas is a tremendous idiot, has never read the Bible, and has the barest idea of the contents, which is why it's pointless to really detail how he's wrong about something in the Bible - he cannot and will not understand the explanation, and actively refuses any other interpretation than one that agrees with his ignorance and narcissism.
 
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Da Dude123 said:
More mooo cow posts. People, I am liking what I am seeing. The cow is returning to mooing about an inheritance and wanting attractive Gen Z women. He was just blowing hot air at Skeletor and the big tittied black lady on the Outcast Owls show. Back on his bullshit.
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What a shame it's just not in the cards for him.
 
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Da Dude123 said:
More mooo cow posts. People, I am liking what I am seeing. The cow is returning to mooing about an inheritance and wanting attractive Gen Z women. He was just blowing hot air at Skeletor and the big tittied black lady on the Outcast Owls show. Back on his bullshit.
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Okay, first of all, I think it's hilarious that Good Ol' Mohammed in meme #1 there is dreaming about taking down the Twin Towers that can still be seen out his bedroom window, as was pointed out by the commenter, and second: As far as his type goes, Lucas is a repulsive monster who makes every XXXL piece of clothing look like a potato sack with his gunt hanging out, and "caring about the important things"? How 'bout choosing unmedicated homelessness over being unable to scream about getting his dick wet?

I'd also like to second the opinion that Lucas seems to be returning to his old obsessions; it seems as though every period of stability in his life is eventually traded for homelessness, because his desire for young women trumps his desire for a roof over his head. Lucas only really values a roof over his head when he doesn't have one. It's quite predictable, he manages to get housing during the worst part of winter, but then gets tired of behaving by the time the weather improves, and I will genuinely be surprised if he spends spring and summer without some sort of an outburst.
 
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Wernology said:
I agree but, alas, that's not me (wrong gender for the most important part) you found the rando whose pics and shit I steal for fake accounts.
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Read this post and then tell me why you're lying.
20220317_230139.jpg
 
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Tard Police said:
Read this post and then tell me why you're lying.
View attachment 3082454
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I've been using that person's info for Lucas related stuff since 2019, I doubt they have any idea I'm doing it and (surprise surprise) I registered that domain using the fake info.

Seriously though, that other person isn't me, it's just some nobody I used and I'd be 100% sure she has no idea.
 
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Wernology said:
I've been using that person's info for Lucas related stuff since 2019, I doubt they have any idea I'm doing it and (surprise surprise) I registered that domain using the fake info.

Seriously though, that other person isn't me, it's just some nobody I used and I'd be 100% sure she has no idea.
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Damage control. That thread indicates you followed Lucas on 9/11/2019. However, the name change predates that. The other breadcrumbs also match up. Why'd you post a dog pic on the itsnotinthecards Twitter? It seems to match the fantasy stuff. So who is the "rando" whose pics you stole? The fetlife account also references a divorce, as do the other sites, and I checked the Eau Claire county court page and, yeah, there was also a divorce record not posted in that other OP. I'm not judging but it seems legitimate to me.
 
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ThomasAudley said:
Damage control. That thread indicates you followed Lucas on 9/11/2019. However, the name change predates that. The other breadcrumbs also match up. Why'd you post a dog pic on the itsnotinthecards Twitter? It seems to match the fantasy stuff. So who is the "rando" whose pics you stole? The fetlife account also references a divorce, as do the other sites, and I checked the Eau Claire county court page and, yeah, there was also a divorce record not posted in that other OP. I'm not judging but it seems legitimate to me.
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I've never changed my name (apart from my username here), and I don't live in Eau Claire for a start. I'm in CT, and have been in CT for 31 years now.
I don't doubt the details on the other person they posted and already knew a decent amount of them anyway, what I'm saying is that person isn't me, it's the person I've been stealing info and shit from.

The only actual similarities that weren't thoroughly stolen and reworked a little bit:

I am divorced. Main difference: I have an ex-wife.
I have a dog (just not that kind of dog, mine is a big ol' mutt).
I have fun with tarot, but in my case it's 100% because I know Lucas gets pissed off by the phrase "it's not in the cards", so I added actual cards as I thought that made it funnier.

The rando is, unfortunately, the person that @Tard Police doxxed.

wenttobermuda said:
Klick is male, of this I'm certain.
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Me too, I just went and double checked to be sure. 😉
 
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WhiskerBiscuit said:
Did you just rando-dox someone for legitimately no reason? Congrats on your idiocy. Even if it were Klick, who the fuck cares?


To return to a better cow, Lucas’s new videos are lovely. I think he added butter to cabbage. View attachment 3082541
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At least he's eating a vegetable. Happy St. Paddy's Day!
 
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