Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Twrx]

Who's daniel?
Kinda surprising, lukey boy is ready to throw hands. He always struck me as an absolute coward, cause he's afraid of izzik's brother

Izzaks brother isn't white. While Lucas is a gigantic racist, he's afraid of the darkies. If anyone isn't pure white, he hates them, but he also fears them. As for why he spent time with him, it's because Lucas only views people in what he thinks they can do for him.

 

[WonderWino]

On the subject of lucas's capacity and intent for violence toward people lets take a look at this classic post

Rapey, violent and narcissistic

and a reminder of what lucas actually looks like, despite all his claims of weight loss

He couldn't look more like an obese mental patient there if he tried. His body language looks exactly like you'd expect from someone who spends alot of time in mental hospitals. I wouldn't be surprised if he was talking to himself angrily under his breath in that pic

 

[IceQueen]

Lucas dropping 200lbs is absolutely absurd.
Maybe a total of 200lbs, but not all at once, and I bet he didn’t include it when he gained weight back.

400 - 20 + 15 - 10 + 20 etc doesn’t mean you lost 30lbs

He definitely did lose a big amount of weight and keep it off for at least a little bit. He was around 400 pounds in the mid2000s, and got down to close to 200 for a while. I thought (but could be wrong) that it was before his major younger woman quest. I thought it was mostly a combination of him being too lazy to find food during times he was homeless, and him being told by doctors that he was putting himself in danger because of his diabetes.

However I don’t disagree at all that he manipulates the numbers to make himself sound more impressive than he is.

On the subject of lucas's capacity and intent for violence toward people lets take a look at this classic post
View attachment 3575839

Rapey, violent and narcissistic

and a reminder of what lucas actually looks like, despite all his claims of weight loss
View attachment 3575847

He couldn't look more like an obese mental patient there if he tried. His body language looks exactly like you'd expect from someone who spends alot of time in mental hospitals. I wouldn't be surprised if he was talking to himself angrily under his breath in that pic

I just realized, I’ve seen that Facebook post before, but who is he talking about in it?? He talks about Suzanne leaving him homeless on other occasions, and in this one mentions being ratted out to his mom, but he says “that bitch and HIS girlfriend” ?? Who is the MAN that supposedly left Lucas homeless? I’ve never heard about him living with either of his brothers and it’s also clearly not his dad he’s talking about, because in the next line he says he’ll be escaping to his dad’s.

 

[WonderWino]

He definitely did lose a big amount of weight and keep it off for at least a little bit. He was around 400 pounds in the mid2000s, and got down to close to 200 for a while. I thought (but could be wrong) that it was before his major younger woman quest. I thought it was mostly a combination of him being too lazy to find food during times he was homeless, and him being told by doctors that he was putting himself in danger because of his diabetes.

However I don’t disagree at all that he manipulates the numbers to make himself sound more impressive than he is.


I just realized, I’ve seen that Facebook post before, but who is he talking about in it?? He talks about Suzanne leaving him homeless on other occasions, and in this one mentions being ratted out to his mom, but he says “that bitch and HIS girlfriend” ?? Who is the MAN that supposedly left Lucas homeless? I’ve never heard about him living with either of his brothers and it’s also clearly not his dad he’s talking about, because in the next line he says he’ll be escaping to his dad’s.

I suspect it isn't any real person in particular, just lucas having a deranged rant and trying to blame someone for having done shit to get thrown out and made homeless. In other words essentially a variation of blaming those non existent greybeards he claims to see all over spokane stealing his 'research' who he blames for using said research to steal all the women from him

Also, that bag of nickels stuff is gold. He already had the rotten lettuce stuff that drove him nuts, but I think its time to start referring to him as a bag of dirty nickels as well. He's certainly shaped like one

 

[Bassomatic]

Buffalos are on nickles, dying out, need the state to stay alive and be protected really kinda useless.
Sums Pukas up well.

I love how unhinged that rant is and he still tries to act fancy and snobby with "vittles". See if you get angry and go off the handle yelling FUCK YOU ok, lots of people snap out. That's a serious step back and worry sign about that post. Because he put thought to try to think he's educated and fancy to use "big" words That means he was calm enough to think "how do I word this to look cool/educated?" and so hateful/spiteful/rage filled.

In regards to Lucas weight loss, yes he's demanding praise for things he did before no matter what it is now. Let me ask you something, then. So I kinda like working out and I play sports. I have never been fat. I also like cheese burgers and a cocktail or two. So I've burnt 300 lbs, that I ... never put on. Right Lucas? I'll not try to sperg too much but I think people and society it self goes to hard for come back stories. As I joked, I lost more weight but never got fat. We all love to see someone hit bottom and work back up but, I thin society doesn't much really support the person who sails fine in any weather. The guy who makes 60k and supports his family we forget about. It's the bankrupt to baller. I get and am all for people bettering themselves, I'm not shitting on the idea but I think people get too wrapped up in it.

 

[Twrx]

On the subject of lucas's capacity and intent for violence toward people lets take a look at this classic post
View attachment 3575839

Rapey, violent and narcissistic

and a reminder of what lucas actually looks like, despite all his claims of weight loss
View attachment 3575847

He couldn't look more like an obese mental patient there if he tried. His body language looks exactly like you'd expect from someone who spends alot of time in mental hospitals. I wouldn't be surprised if he was talking to himself angrily under his breath in that pic

Always wondered what he's holding.

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

He's the guy who's having a spaz fight with lucas in this video

lmao, i thought he actually manhandled some guy called Daniel. didn't expect he was refereng to campbell

Izzaks brother isn't white. While Lucas is a gigantic racist, he's afraid of the darkies. If anyone isn't pure white, he hates them, but he also fears them. As for why he spent time with him, it's because Lucas only views people in what he thinks they can do for him.

I don't know dude, Lucas was acting kinda sussy during his time with Izzik.

(This is just me theory-crafting so ya'll take it with a grain of salt)
Lucas has been an incel for god knows how long and during his time with izzik it's close to a decade worth of inceldom while having the sexual frustration of a hormonally charged teen stuck in a middle aged obese dying body. To us Izzik is just a young homeless raggedy ass clown but to Lucas he's an underage GEN Z hole he can stick his micro peen into. (eughh that feels gross to type)

TL;DR: Lucas after being an incel for a long time slowly became bi or gay, has a creepy relationship with Izzik letting himself get ripped off and talks about him like a beaten housewife

 

[Twrx]

I don't know dude, Lucas was acting kinda sussy during his time with Izzik.

(This is just me theory-crafting so ya'll take it with a grain of salt)
Lucas has been an incel for god knows how long and during his time with izzik it's close to a decade worth of inceldom while having the sexual frustration of a hormonally charged teen stuck in a middle aged obese dying body. To us Izzik is just a young homeless raggedy ass clown but to Lucas he's an underage GEN Z hole he can stick his micro peen into. (eughh that feels gross to type)

TL;DR: Lucas after being an incel for a long time slowly becomes bi or gay, has a creepy relationship with Izzik letting himself get ripped off and talks about him like a beaten housewife

What do you mean becoming?

 

[WonderWino]

Kramer must be related to lucas. I mean who else would make a cheesy cuke pizza, live in a fartbox, mooch food off their neighbors, not work and come up with crackpot schemes to make money

Perhaps null should fund the site by getting a shortbus and running a bus tour around spokane called the lucas colby werner reality tour - driving around spokane pointing out sites important to wernology: his various fartboxes, the bridge and woods he lives in when in hobo mode, the homeless shelters he had meltdowns in, the park he was banned from, the shitty restaurants he pigs out at, mallon place, the various walking paths he takes on his tours of the city, SCC and of course the famous starbucks where he made international news. Maybe even rent out cameras for potential wern sightings like sasquatch or whale watching. The tour could have the driver narrating the history of the sites and lucas's antics and provide authentic meals based on lucas's own cooking, like cheesy cukes, hamburger and cheese pasta, burritos, and toster oven surf & turf with energy drinks (and peppered bargain big caviar on ritz crackers with MD 20/20 for the more refined wernology tourists in the 4 first class seats at the front of the bus)

I'm sure there are japanese tourists out there that would pay big money for the tour, for the opportunity to see the world famous wernsquatch in his native habitat and learn all about him. There could of course be no unaccompanied minors on the bus in case of an encounter with the wern. Lucas would flip his shit the moment he saw a bus driving around watching him with 'the lucas colby werner reality tour' stenciled on the side and a bunch of japanese tourists gawking at him with cameras while he waddles down the street. It would make for some ideal tourism moments

Hell we could add a speaker system that blares out ice cream van music to draw lucas in when driving through his territory to draw him out

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

What do you mean becoming?

my bad, i meant became

 

[Fiveseven15]

I

I've ALWAYS doubted his story. Part of me thinks he must have thrown the glass at Suzanne. Or hit her. We all remember the way he reacted when someone in the livestream suggested he was a pedo; he spit on his own phone, and was ready to punch his own phone. I don't see Lucas having the willpower to direct his anger purely at an inanimate object, when the source of his anger is right in front of him. If I remember correctly, @QueenBurritoSupreme said that he had manhandled Daniel, when Daniel was unhappy with the fact that Lucas was a complete slob as a roommate, and was eating all of his food at night rather than sleeping.

Also, I don't see how he would get a DV, rather than a disorderly conduct for throwing a glass at a wall.

According to Cyril, he got extremely violent when people disagreed with him. Cyril ended their relationship after Lucas laid hands on him after Cyril insisted he was an agnostic rather than an atheist.

I could easily see a disagreement about young women between him and Suzanne leading to him putting hands on her. To me, this makes much more sense in terms of his DV.

We all know that Lucas is a coward, but that doesn't mean that when he's angry enough, and when the person he's angry at is physically smaller than him or weaker than him, that he wouldn't get physical with them. By his own admission he slapped his brother in the face, for his brother not giving Lucas the credit for initiating the relationship he had with his girlfriend.

don’t know if I would say manhandled. He tried to fight him one with Daniel laughing and mocking him the whole time. Another video shows (well you hear) Lucas cowering in his room yelling ‘you’re scaring me man’ after Daniel calmly asks him to leave

I think if you’re diabetic and have been dehydrated plus other factors, it can damage your kidneys enough to where you need temporary dialysis. I’m sure he was dehydr

at least the dried up old 25 year old nurses attending him are safe.

I was surprised his post about dehydration wasn’t followed by an e-beg for soda money to prevent this from happening again

He definitely did lose a big amount of weight and keep it off for at least a little bit. He was around 400 pounds in the mid2000s, and got down to close to 200 for a while. I thought (but could be wrong) that it was before his major younger woman quest. I thought it was mostly a combination of him being too lazy to find food during times he was homeless, and him being told by doctors that he was putting himself in danger because of his diabetes.

However I don’t disagree at all that he manipulates the numbers to make himself sound more impressive than he is.


I just realized, I’ve seen that Facebook post before, but who is he talking about in it?? He talks about Suzanne leaving him homeless on other occasions, and in this one mentions being ratted out to his mom, but he says “that bitch and HIS girlfriend” ?? Who is the MAN that supposedly left Lucas homeless? I’ve never heard about him living with either of his brothers and it’s also clearly not his dad he’s talking about, because in the next line he says he’ll be escaping to his dad’s.

Iirc he was talking about one of his brothers? I could be wrong though, but I think I remember something about one of his brothers kicking him out or not letting him stay with them after he acted creepy towards the niece

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

Iirc he was talking about one of his brothers? I could be wrong though, but I think I remember something about one of his brothers kicking him out or not letting him stay with them after he acted creepy towards the niece

Probably the same one he claimed to have slapped across the face. For the crime of having said girlfriend, and "rubbing it in". The Freak is a most unreliable narrator though.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

iirc Lucas is not convicted of any domestic violence crime. he was arrested for a DV incident, a hearing happened with Suzanne in 2012, and an order of protection (restraining order) was issued and renewed in 2013. while it would be unsurprising if Lucas has a DV conviction, i don't think he does.

Spoiler: details

a restraining order is the court ordering Lucas to not do something, typically no-contact. it isn't a criminal conviction in and of itself and you can find many instances where the accused (especially in "family" courts) will accept orders of protection on consent, which isn't necessarily an admission of guilt.

he probably wouldn't legally able to purchase a firearm for other reasons but unless there's some other case besides his 12-2-30540-1, Lucas has not been convicted of a DV crime (an order of protection is not a conviction in itself. in many situations if an order will suffice as a legal remedy, and the parties before the court agree that it is a remedy, it can used in lieu of a formal trial in criminal cases). typically a case that is resolved with an order will have the court convinced the incident occurred through preponderance of evidence but the defendant does not admit guilt. in this situation pleading no contest to the accusation, for example. a suspended judgement is issued, pending on the order being followed, so if the order is violated, the judgement can take effect or a trial commence is almost always a condition of the order being accepted as an outcome.

in CA specifically, an order of protection issued for a DVI will almost always involve a firearms prohibition, however that might not be the case in WA. such a prohibition is concurrent with the order, so when the order expires, the prohibition also expires. from the case i mentioned, it seems the order was only for a year and was renewed at least once.

edit:
seems to be a civil case rather than criminal, so the order of protection is the hearing outcome in and of itself, probably with a suspended judgement of a fine or recommendation to criminal court (since violating a court order is an actual crime). note that the Brady Act prohibits any person convicted of DV misdemeanor or felony from possessing firearms, however civil courts do not hear criminal cases and carry no threat of custodial sentence.
View attachment 3572481

maybe there is a separate criminal case somewhere?

There’s more to this story. Restraining orders are not particularly easy to get and Suzanne got one. Throwing a glass at a wall probably wouldn’t get it done.

That being said, we’re unlikely to ever know the full story as the only two people who know it are Lucas (who’s lying) and Suzanne (who’s not talking and should be left alone).

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

I know most people would be adverse to handling anything Lucas has touched, especially a hobo attraction sign he scribbled out with restaurant crayons while sitting on the street, but if
anyone managed to save some of his signs he was plastering around Spokane before the Mallon arc you should probably start getting that Ebay posting ready. Once Lucas kicks the bucket his simps/weens are going to be willing to pay premium for those last few Wern relics and I can't knock making a few hundred dollars off of some schizo ramblings you pryed off a telephone post.

 

[Stinkyboy]

There’s more to this story. Restraining orders are not particularly easy to get and Suzanne got one. Throwing a glass at a wall probably wouldn’t get it done.

That being said, we’re unlikely to ever know the full story as the only two people who know it are Lucas (who’s lying) and Suzanne (who’s not talking and should be left alone).

He was at a restaurant, freaking out because of a young woman out to dinner with her dad.

You can’t throw shit in public.

 

[Zaz]

lmao, i thought he actually manhandled some guy called Daniel. didn't expect he was refereng to campbell


I don't know dude, Lucas was acting kinda sussy during his time with Izzik.

(This is just me theory-crafting so ya'll take it with a grain of salt)
Lucas has been an incel for god knows how long and during his time with izzik it's close to a decade worth of inceldom while having the sexual frustration of a hormonally charged teen stuck in a middle aged obese dying body. To us Izzik is just a young homeless raggedy ass clown but to Lucas he's an underage GEN Z hole he can stick his micro peen into. (eughh that feels gross to type)

TL;DR: Lucas after being an incel for a long time slowly became bi or gay, has a creepy relationship with Izzik letting himself get ripped off and talks about him like a beaten housewife

Lucas definitely didn't put it in anything, but I'm with you that he might have considered it. He had some bizarre crush on Isik (I love how everyone spells his name differently) but I don't know whether or not he made it to sexualization. It was more like an unrequited bromance.

 

[Fatal Walter]

As far as I understand the story, Lucas did the throwing a glass thing and then Suzanne told him they were done but Lucas just didn't leave for like a week. Then she called the cops on him to get him to leave and he didn't make it easy. He tried to make it sound like the cops agreed with and empathized with him about the situation but he always thinks that somehow. This is probably where the restraining order came in since it's the first time the police were involved. Then he went into her place of work and screamed at her because he "happened to be on the same street" or something. He gave up pretty quickly when he actually got in some trouble. Or maybe he realized that he wasn't attracted to her anyway and he would rather find some teenage girl to browbeat into dating him.

That is so irritating that he just sits there like a lump and refuses to leave until she has to call the cops on him. Would suck to have someone you dated do that to you.

 

[Da Dude123]

The cow is out of the hospital. No dialysis was done. Earlier he said they were totally doing dialysis or did dialysis. I don't know what to believe now.

 

[Free the Pedos]

The cow is out of the hospital. No dialysis was done. Earlier he said they were totally doing dialysis or did dialysis. I don't know what to believe now.

View attachment 3578140

He’ll be drinking energy drinks and eating pasta by the bucket by now.

 

[Jeep1971]

He’ll be drinking energy drinks and eating pasta by the bucket by now.

He will be back in the ER before the week is out. Seriously,just wait. He is not going to be "scared straight" by this kidney mishap.