Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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reuniclus said:
I've been an avid Werner "fan" since I came across him on the Cringe Channel tumblr. Unfortunately for me though, he lives in my town. I've rode the bus with him twice now; the first was spent whispering to my friend about how us dating our boyfriends was equivalent to incest in his eyes, and the second was trying to resist the urge to pepper spray him because he was staring.

Don't call me too autistic, but I noticed he got off at the same stop both times (Newark @ Laura). There's an apartment complex nearby. I think somebody guessed that he lives in the Arthur Court apartments (I can't find where), and if so, it seems pretty spot on. (I know you would be inclined to not believe me, but I have no way to prove it because there's no way of knowing how he would react to a millennial girl taking a picture of him. Plus it seems a little weenish for my tastes.)
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I am so jealous! Werner is my very first cow. I can only IMAGINE how fun it is to see him in the wild!
 
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A.G.R.A.phobic said:
I know people find Lucas' OK cupid & POF profiles... Be interested to see if he makes a fet one now...
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9 Tacos?

Anyone who's familiar; are the Taco Bell stuffed Tacos Lucas is mentioning here big?

(It's kinda hilarious, now that he's not forced to walk everywhere as a homeless bum, Lucas is getting fat (Ok, well, "fatter") again. He's already noticeably bigger than he was last month. I think it's mostly because he refuses to spend money on anything other than junk carbs and overpriced novelty restaurant food...and at home it's the bathtub o' ramen!)
 
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LightEmittingDiode said:
You be the judge.
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Well, on January 8th she asked to live with him in his new apartment and said "I love you!" so I'm pretty sure its safe to say: No.
Fake, fake, fake, fake, fakeity fakeity fakeity, fake fake fake.
Though she was probably QUITE sincere when she said she "Loves him as much as she loves Trump." (That felt pretty honest to me.)
 
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Fiercely Codependent said:
Well, on January 8th she asked to live with him in his new apartment and said "I love you!" so I'm pretty sure its safe to say: No.
Fake, fake, fake, fake, fakeity fakeity fakeity, fake fake fake.
Though she was probably QUITE sincere when she said she "Loves him as much as she loves Trump." (That felt pretty honest to me.)
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Also, her facebook and youtube accounts are both brand new.

I'd bet everything I own that she is either a catfish playing the long con (which will eventually provide us with some hilarious new material) or even possibly (though less likely) an undercover police officer monitoring Lucas.
 
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Bassomatic said:
Anyone know what his clinging to red robin is? I've never eaten at one, so I don't know if it's any good or does he have some reason he keeps going there?
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I think it's more of the location than anything. Red Robin (the one he's referring to, at least) is directly across the street from the mall and the library and in the same building as the Starbucks he got banned from. Also there's a giant horse statue outside, and it's cool to hang out by it I guess? A lot of people do. Ease of access for creeping.
 
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Long Telomere Daddy said:
Anyone else catch the massive fart at 7:49?
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He even starts this one off with a prolonged fart and a deep sigh of relief. Literally the first 10 seconds of the video. But instead of editing it out or starting filming the video over, the Wern gives no fucks. His telomeres are so sexy his chronic flatulence won't detract from that.

 
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reuniclus said:
I think it's more of the location than anything. Red Robin (the one he's referring to, at least) is directly across the street from the mall and the library and in the same building as the Starbucks he got banned from. Also there's a giant horse statue outside, and it's cool to hang out by it I guess? A lot of people do. Ease of access for creeping.
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Yeah, I was thinking that too. He's got a great creeping view from so many points down there. I would honestly think that he'd have a far better chance of getting a homeless millennial chick if he was kicking it at the bus plaza. I work downtown and stay far, far away from that place. Nasty, just like him.
 
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As someone pointed out, when Lucas gets called out for hitting on 16 year old girls, he screams about the age of consent in Washington being 16. He is correct, but he doesn't understand that doesn't apply across state lines, or to nudity. He's broken the law when he's asked under 18 girls to show him their tits. He also has solicited minors in states where the age of consent is higher, or there's conditions attached (like you have to be within two years of them). Now that he's known outside of Spokane, all it would take is some creeped-out DA requesting extradition once they research Lucas.
 
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DrJonesHat said:
As someone pointed out, when Lucas gets called out for hitting on 16 year old girls, he screams about the age of consent in Washington being 16. He is correct, but he doesn't understand that doesn't apply across state lines, or to nudity. He's broken the law when he's asked under 18 girls to show him their tits. He also has solicited minors in states where the age of consent is higher, or there's conditions attached (like you have to be within two years of them). Now that he's known outside of Spokane, all it would take is some creeped-out DA requesting extradition once they research Lucas.
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You mean Werner has less than amazing research skills? But his work on telomeres is seminal!
 
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Found this in the comments of one of his vids; super comprehensive:

http://hubpages.com/health/The-Lucas-Werner-Dilemma-Locking-Up-Sick-People-Before-They-Harm

Also a new vid: more of the same, plus Lucas thinks "shout out" means reading a list of screen names for half the video. Real cute how he writes all this garbage out longhand, btw:


And this one, haven't watched yet:


EDIT: Just watched. Apparently, Lucas is Kurt Cobain because he wants young tail. Yes, he's serious.
 
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