Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

I've been checking it daily and it does not appear yet.

There is a good primer for checking Spokane court records here: https://www.spokanecounty.org/2718/Search-Spokane-Local-Courts

For Municipal Court you have to use Internet Explorer and then after you click JusticeWeb you type in Werner, hit tab, type in his bday of 11/27/1979, then from the dropdown select Lucas Colby Werner and it will show all his data. It's really not intuitive, and the district and superior courts are much easier to search, but the latest record over on those is his DV escapade from 2017.

He was cited last week, I'm not really sure why it doesn't show up unless the cop is lazy, didn't enter it properly, or the court is holding it for some reason or another (if they even have the authority to do that).




Yep that's the one - one of my fav vids. I particularly loathe the part where he lifts up his shirt.

Thanks for the info. Used the JusticeWeb to view his municipal record. What did you mean with his DV escapade from 2017. Is that for Domestic Violence? Tried to do a district/superior court search but wasn't successful.

 

[ThomasAudley]

Thanks for the info. Used the JusticeWeb to view his municipal record. What did you mean with his DV escapade from 2017. Is that for Domestic Violence? Tried to do a district/superior court search but wasn't successful.

Yes, I'm attaching the screenshot here.

I should've scrolled up, but the case information is pretty funny too:

2017-01-19	RETURN OF SERVICE FILED; UNABLE TO SERVE (01-17); HOUSE OF
2017-01-19	CHARITY STAFF STATES HE IS BANNED FROM THEIR FACILITY UNTIL
2017-01-19	APRIL; NO INFORMATION ON HIS CURRENT WHEREABOUTS
2017-01-19	*RETURN OF SERVICE- UNABLE TO SERVE-SCANNED*

The actual pleadings in this case, as well as the documents in the recent citation over at municipal court, should be obtainable by making an email request to the court clerk. I don't really want to go bothering the court clerk just to lol at Lucas, but it may be worthwhile.

 

[mothman96]

Yes, I'm attaching the screenshot here. View attachment 1511941

I should've scrolled up, but the case information is pretty funny too:

2017-01-19	RETURN OF SERVICE FILED; UNABLE TO SERVE (01-17); HOUSE OF
2017-01-19	CHARITY STAFF STATES HE IS BANNED FROM THEIR FACILITY UNTIL
2017-01-19	APRIL; NO INFORMATION ON HIS CURRENT WHEREABOUTS
2017-01-19	*RETURN OF SERVICE- UNABLE TO SERVE-SCANNED*

The actual pleadings in this case, as well as the documents in the recent citation over at municipal court, should be obtainable by making an email request to the court clerk. I don't really want to go bothering the court clerk just to lol at Lucas, but it may be worthwhile.

Ok, thanks again. It's related to the Starbucks incident. The barrista he creeped on obtained an Order of Protection against Lucas. Didn't know the case classified as a DV

 

[ThomasAudley]

Ok, thanks again. It's related to the Starbucks incident. The barrista he creeped on obtained an Order of Protection against Lucas. Didn't know the case classified as a DV

No you're right and I misclassified it. For some reason I was thinking this was pertaining to Suzanne but that would have been many years earlier, and the Starbucks incident was around this timeframe. I think following Lucas is actually making me stupider too.

ETA: I went over to Thurston County to check their records and found his actual DV case back from August 6, 2012. Nothing notable in there and it has Suzanne's last name so no real reason to post it here I think.

 

[mothman96]

No you're right and I misclassified it. For some reason I was thinking this was pertaining to Susan but that would have been many years earlier, and the Starbucks incident was around this timeframe. I think following Lucas is actually making me stupider too.

ETA: I went over to Thurston County to check their records and found his actual DV case back from August 6, 2012. Nothing notable in there and it has Suzanne's last name so no real reason to post it here I think.

Up in the case type it says -"Civil-DV", so it looks like the the case is categorized under DV.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I think following Lucas is actually making me stupider too.

This is a well documented side effect of Wernology. You'll laugh, but your brain atrophies and your heart shrivels up.

As eager as I am to read the cop's narrative of Lucas's disorderly conduct infraction, it's not clear to me that one will be available. Thanks for checking, though.

 

[ThomasAudley]

This piqued my interest and I found the following records for Lucas dating back quite a while. I searched the thread and i can't find reference to some of them (lol graffiti, seriously Lucas?).

Offender information Name: WERNER, LUCAS COLBY Address: WA Case Number: 3Z0205435 Case Filing Date: 02/28/2013 Case Type: CRIMINAL NON-TRAFFIC DOB: 11/1979 SSN: XXX-XX-XXXX Sex: Male Offenses Offense #1 Case Filing Date: 02/28/2013 Number Counts: 1 Offense Date: 02/28/2013 Court Description: OLYMPIA MUNICIPAL COURT Case Number: 3Z0205435 Court Offense: PROPERTY DAMAGE Court Disposition: AMENDED Court Disposition Date: 03/11/2013 Offense #2 Case Filing Date: 02/28/2013 Number Counts: 2 Offense Date: 02/28/2013 Court Description: OLYMPIA MUNICIPAL COURT Case Number: 3Z0205435 Court Offense: GRAFFITI Court Plea: GUILTY Court Disposition: GUILTY Court Disposition Date: 04/15/2013 Court Fine: $200 Sentence - Jail: Max: 364 Days Court Activity [NONE FOUND] 2: Washington Court Report Offender information Name: WERNER, LUCAS COLBY Address: WA Case Number: 2Z0638820 Case Filing Date: 09/17/2012 Page 5 of 6 Case Type: CRIMINAL NON-TRAFFIC DOB: 11/1979 SSN: 533-02-XXXX Sex: Male Offenses Offense #1 Case Filing Date: 09/17/2012 Number Counts: 1 Offense Date: 09/17/2012 Court Description: OLYMPIA MUNICIPAL COURT Case Number: 2Z0638820 Court Offense: VIOLATION OMC NO CONTACT ORDER Court Disposition: AMENDED Court Disposition Date: 09/18/2012 Offense #2 Case Filing Date: 09/17/2012 Number Counts: 2 Offense Date: 09/17/2012 Court Description: OLYMPIA MUNICIPAL COURT Case Number: 2Z0638820 Court Offense: VIOL PROTECTIVE ORDER (OTH JURIS) Court Plea: GUILTY Court Disposition: GUILTY Court Disposition Date: 10/29/2012 Sentence - Jail: Max: 364 Days Court Activity [NONE FOUND] 3: Washington Court Report Offender information Name: WERNER, LUCAS COLBY Address: WA Case Number: 2Z0525297 Case Filing Date: 08/15/2012 Case Type: CRIMINAL NON-TRAFFIC DOB: 11/1979 SSN: 533-02-XXXX Sex: Male Offenses Offense #1 Case Filing Date: 08/15/2012 Offense Date: 08/14/2012 Court Description: THURSTON COUNTY DISTRICT COURT Case Number: 2Z0525297 Court Offense: NOT SPECIFIED Offense #2 Case Filing Date: 08/15/2012 Number Counts: 1 Offense Date: 08/14/2012 Court Description: TUMWATER MUNICIPAL COURT Case Number: 2Z0525297 Court Offense: PROTECTION ORDER VIOLATION Court Plea: GUILTY Court Disposition: CHANGE OF VENUE Court Disposition Date: 08/01/2013 Court Fine: $200

The following emails were also returned for Lucas:

lucaswerner@yahoo.com
a_mech_is_next@yahoo.com
lucaswerner79@hotmail.com
lucaswerner@hotmail.com
controversial_games@hotmail.com

I'll let some other Wernologists go down the rabbithole on ancient Wernology and see if they can dig up anything interesting, but I googled the second email and got this result: http://www.freethinkermatch.com/showprofile.php?id=1874

The writing is clearly Lucas and this is a window back to 2007 when he was a spry 27 years old. I'm not surprised he was on Yahoo Messenger back in the day, really apt platform for his demographic.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I guess like the majority of habitually homeless Lucas has amassed quite a rap sheet over time. It’s an aspect of Wernology I hadn’t really considered, but is there a compilation of all his arrests and citations over the years somewhere? All of them listed in chronological order would give another interesting insight into his history. There are only the DV with Suzanne and the Starbucks incident that most casual observers remember. To see all the smaller violations listed along with them would give a nice summation of his history. Maybe even add his updated rap sheet to the original op? I dunno. Just spitballing here.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

So not only did he get banned and on international news, he actually got a protection order against him. And it's classed as domestic violence? The fuck did Lucas do to this poor kid? No wonder he gets so mad whenever people mention it, he really is a fucking monster. Being homeless is still too good for this wannabe child molester

Ok, thanks again. It's related to the Starbucks incident. The barrista he creeped on obtained an Order of Protection against Lucas. Didn't know the case classified as a DV

It really looks like it's a matter of time before he ends up on a sex offender registry. Then again, at this point most people who encounter Lucas in person know to keep their distance and not let him ever into a position where he could physically harm them

I guess like the majority of habitually homeless Lucas has amassed quite a rap sheet over time. It’s an aspect of Wernology I hadn’t really considered, but is there a compilation of all his arrests and citations over the years somewhere? All of them listed in chronological order would give another interesting insight into his history. There are only the DV with Suzanne and the Starbucks incident that most casual observers remember. To see all the smaller violations listed along with them would give a nice summation of his history. Maybe even add his updated rap sheet to the original op? I dunno. Just spitballing here.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

What is this new fixation with hunting elk on his dad's property he keeps blabbering about. For one, they'd smell him miles away regardless of the wind direction. I'm assuming though he's referring to the zoomer bae he'll never have doing the hunting and providing for him, since he keeps dangling it like a perk. Young women don't care about hunting Lucas, and if you really think you're getting that land after your dad dies, you're in for a LOL worthy surprise when you see how property is usually handled in that situation.

 

[Trainwreck]

What Are the Requirements to Become a Budtender?

• A passion for marijuana products and cannabis culture. ...
• Extensive knowledge about cannabis flowers, extracts, and other products. ...
• Customer service skills. ...
• Maintain your physical appearance. ...
• Good organizational skills. ...
• A clean criminal record. ...
• Education and training.

Lucas can move on from his new dream of being a budtender. Shit, he wouldn't even qualify to be a trimmer which I have heard is pretty hard work.

 

[jleavesl]

What is this new fixation with hunting elk on his dad's property he keeps blabbering about. For one, they'd smell him miles away regardless of the wind direction. I'm assuming though he's referring to the zoomer bae he'll never have doing the hunting and providing for him, since he keeps dangling it like a perk. Young women don't care about hunting Lucas, and if you really think you're getting that land after your dad dies, you're in for a LOL worthy surprise when you see how property is usually handled in that situation.

Could you imagine what would happen if you handed that dumb bastard a rifle with all his rage issues? I think his involuntary commitment prohibits him from owning a firearm but if it didn't....

 

[mothman96]

What is this new fixation with hunting elk on his dad's property he keeps blabbering about. For one, they'd smell him miles away regardless of the wind direction. I'm assuming though he's referring to the zoomer bae he'll never have doing the hunting and providing for him, since he keeps dangling it like a perk. Young women don't care about hunting Lucas, and if you really think you're getting that land after your dad dies, you're in for a LOL worthy surprise when you see how property is usually handled in that situation.

I think that's his way of "sweetening the pot". Not only is King Roy a multi-millionaire with 12 acres and a house, a herd of elk shows up on the property. If someone gives him a girl to become his wife, the bestman in the wedding has a chance of hunting elk on his father's land. He's desperate, so might as well throw the elk into the pot.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

he actually got a protection order against him. And it's classed as domestic violence? The fuck did Lucas do to this poor kid?

That's probably a reference to Suzanne, his ex-girlfriend. He lost his shit at a restaurant when he saw a young woman with an older man, who very well could've been her father and he just misinterpreted the situation as is his wont.

 

[Pump Meat]

Wait, how TF can a homeless person be obese?!

If they’re alcoholic I could see it, but Vern here is hardly the type.

Taking antipsychotics for just 6 months can really fuck up your metabolism causing you to put on a lot of weight. Simply stopping the medication won't make the extra weight go away and given that that vast majority of people who are given antipsychotics don't excel at taking care of themselves, the weight stays.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I guess like the majority of habitually homeless Lucas has amassed quite a rap sheet over time. It’s an aspect of Wernology I hadn’t really considered, but is there a compilation of all his arrests and citations over the years somewhere? All of them listed in chronological order would give another interesting insight into his history. There are only the DV with Suzanne and the Starbucks incident that most casual observers remember. To see all the smaller violations listed along with them would give a nice summation of his history. Maybe even add his updated rap sheet to the original op? I dunno. Just spitballing here.

Interesting.

I know he has a marijuana related DUI from 1999.

Source:

cannabisnews.com: A landmark DUI case

Spoiler: More details

Municipal & District Court Case List Directions: Below are cases associated with your search criteria. If the case was filed in Superior or Appellate Court, there may be docket information available. Docket information is not available for Municipal & District Court Cases. To get directions or information about a Court in this list, view the Washington Court Directory. There is 1 name that match your search criteria. Case Number Person Name File Date Participant Code Status C00216012 Werner, Lucas Colby 07-16-98 Defendant Closed

I am not familiar with his graffiti charge, but his DV is well attested.

It wouldn't be hard to compile all of this into a handy chronology.

But I am curious about other low level infractions that we've missed.

I like this project.

What is this new fixation with hunting elk on his dad's property he keeps blabbering about.

Comes from the same impulse that makes him brag about his EBT card, and fixate on taking baes out to eat.

A chimp level courtship display.

Lucas is signaling his suitability as a mate to "fecund" teens. He knows how to get food, and is a mighty hunter. This is impressive, and shows off the status that makes him a plenty good mate.

The wernlings will feast on Elk, because Lucas is a competent male.

 

[Da Dude123]

What the hell is he going on about? Damn bum!

 

[wenttobermuda]

What the hell is he going on about? Damn bum!

I've long maintained he operates at the level of a rutting animal. Less a buck than an outcast chimp, though.

Translation:

Female, engage is a mating display that indicates you are receptive to sexual intercourse with me, Lucas Werner, from behind.

I am rutting and want to mate.

When an elk is horny, it is not "nature," but sexually explicit horny stuff. I am sexually competent and a sexual being and I should be treated as such.

Let me get money for courting females.

I am cool at 40.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

So he's had the probation check in today, assuming he attended.

What time was he posting those IG "memes"?

 

[wenttobermuda]

So he's had the probation check in today, assuming he attended.

What time was he posting those IG "memes"?

He posted as recently as about 9am.

So before the PO.