Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[teleméres69]

How i be looking at women after i snap their 3 inch pocket knife in half

 

[NattyDaddy]

Like lusting after rotting compost

Edit: I like how this is called just before the fall

The guests were pooping in my mouth, verbally.

 

[Wernology]

Found at 29th and Southeast, on a pole he's used before, a mere block from Thai Bamboo. Apparently lightning can strike the same place twice...

"Studying for a PHD" says the guy who can't even manage to get a GED, let alone make it through a full semester at community college. The bar isn't any lower than taking 3 credits at a community college and he still couldn't manage it.

I wonder how far he is into his 4,000 page For The PhD paper he was going to write.

 

[IceQueen]

Found another at 29th and Southeast, on a pole he's used before, a mere block from Thai Bamboo. Apparently lightning can strike the same place twice...

“Studying for PhD and cameo” LMAOOOO. 1) how the fuck does one “study” for cameo? 2) Yes PukeAss, your 1.2 semesters of community college means you’re “studying for a PhD”. He’s such a moron, it always somehow surprises me how stupid he is. Does he really think anyone is going to read his schizobabble sign and believe that the person who wrote it is ACTUALLY on their way to getting a PhD?? Since I know you’re reading this Lucas — everyone knows you can’t even manage to get an Associate’s degree, let alone a Bachelor’s or Master’s, both of which you would need to at least be capable of to be considered for a Doctorate. You are the stupidest human being I have ever actually spoken to, my God.

 

[AnOminous]

I like to think of it as an animal being driven out of a territory by stronger rivals. Perhaps there's an embarrassing story to be discovered that will help us appreciate the depths of failure and despair.

He either got his ass kicked or some alpha hobo chased him off with a scary territorial display and told him he'd get his ass kicked the next time he was seen there.

 

[Particle Bored]

Many an "internet troll," in his blackened, w33n heart, hopes that when he composes a nasty little post it's subject will read it and know despair.

This is why @Huge Fungus needs to post "have you seen me" signs above Luke's screeds, with a gross Luke pic of his choosing, a copy of an article on the Starbucks incident, and "may be found licking discarded women's deodorant, leering through grade school windows, or pissing in the sink at Clinkerdaggers."

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

This is why @Huge Fungus needs to post "have you seen me" signs above Luke's screeds, with a gross Luke pic of his choosing, a copy of an article on the Starbucks incident, and "may be found licking discarded women's deodorant, leering through grade school windows, or pissing in the sink at Clinkerdaggers."

Answers to “Wern” or “Smelly Bum”
Food aggressive
Can be lured with promise of teenage puss puss

 

[denysdemontfort]

I looked at a google map of the thai place for places that might make sense for him to be at. There's a library somewhat nearby but I'm sure there are closer locations to him... there are a lot of medical places in the area but nothing that seems particularly necessary for travelling outside of the area for and I'd guess there are doctors who take medicaid close to the homeless shelters/downtown. There's a "metabolic doctor" which made me think oh, maybe he's been AWOL because his diabetes got really bad, but then I looked at the website and it's total woo-woo shit.
There are a number of apartment buildings nearby, so I'm guessing maybe that area is where one of his "friends" found a spot and he's been crashing there when he can. Probably leaves their place, gets thai food and scribbles out his signs, then sticks it on a pole before wandering back toward the bus station where the noise drowns out the voices on the wind and no one harasses you for sitting around because you could just be waiting for a bus.

I wonder if he got really sad that no one was responding to his drivel online so he started with the signs again. At least with signs and "find me irl", if a zoomer bae doesn't show up in his lap then he can excuse it as them just not seeing it yet. Online he thinks he has a big ol' audience.

Have Klick or Walter mentioned the signs on YT yet? I wonder if, since it seems like he's mostly hanging out there, if he knows we're seeing them.

 

[SteveGoatman]

"I'll get a cameo account to buy diapers"

Spoken like someone who doesn't know what diapers cost or how many a kid will go through from birth to potty trained.

Let's be fair, he didn't say he could support a child on Cameo, he said he'd buy diapers with it and didn't specify how many diapers or how often he'd buy them. If he bought a single diaper he'd have, in his deluded swiss cheese brain, lived up to his role as provider.

It occurs to me....I wonder if when Lucas said he would "work" on Cameo to buy diapers he wasn't talking about for a baby. Let's remember, this guy poops his pants regularly...

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

With this new info I believe he is actually trying to use some restraint and stay away from the internet as his primary hunting ground for zoomer baes. Although there is a nagging part of me that cannot accept that he has done this of his own free will. Somebody convinced him this was his best course of action and he agreed to try it. There is some story here we don’t know. Of course, he has not the will or wherewithal to actually pull it off for an extended amount of time.

If anything, I’m given some hope his absence from the internet will be short lived. At some point he will buckle under the reality that his attraction signs don’t work and he will slink back to his regular SM sites. At least on the internet he gets some engagement, if only negative, but negative engagement is better in his mind than none at all.

Obviously he is the same pathetic Lucas doing all the same pathetic shit. He will be back to posting soon barring another hospital stay etc.

 

[Josef Mengele]

Here is a template I made hopefully a Kiwi in Spokane will be able to post these under his attraction signs.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

Here is a template I made hopefully a Kiwi in Spokane will be able to post these under his attraction signs.
View attachment 2227541

make sure that they say to report back to the lucas warner fan club at kiwifarms.net

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Here is a template I made hopefully a Kiwi in Spokane will be able to post these under his attraction signs.
View attachment 2227541

excellent - can you include his DV record too - to protect the wahmanz?


also: love that the left hand pic is the one the Daily Mail published globally during the Starbucks story arc.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

If anything, I’m given some hope his absence from the internet will be short lived. At some point he will buckle under the reality that his attraction signs don’t work and he will slink back to his regular SM sites. At least on the internet he gets some engagement, if only negative, but negative engagement is better in his mind than none at all.

Obviously he is the same pathetic Lucas doing all the same pathetic shit. He will be back to posting soon barring another hospital stay etc.

Signs fit more with what I think Lucas wants, though. He doesn't actually want any zoomer baes to talk to him, he just wants to play victim and do his "comedy". Obviously, nobody with a brain cell is going to go to a smelly bus station to meet a bum making insane signs, and he's aware of this. Online, he tries to censor all comments made towards him. He doesn't want engagement. He wants you to give him free food for doing nothing.

 

[Trainwreck]

Here is a template I made hopefully a Kiwi in Spokane will be able to post these under his attraction signs.
View attachment 2227541

Hahaha...if I get off work early today or tomorrow, I just might go put up a few of these and if I do, I'll post pictures.

 

[mothman96]

Here is a template I made hopefully a Kiwi in Spokane will be able to post these under his attraction signs.
View attachment 2227541

Those pictures are from when he was younger and don't show how bad he's aged. I'd suggest to use current ones that reflect his current "state".

 

[wenttobermuda]

With this new info I believe he is actually trying to use some restraint and stay away from the internet as his primary hunting ground for zoomer baes. Although there is a nagging part of me that cannot accept that he has done this of his own free will. Somebody convinced him this was his best course of action and he agreed to try it. There is some story here we don’t know. Of course, he has not the will or wherewithal to actually pull it off for an extended amount of time.

If anything, I’m given some hope his absence from the internet will be short lived. At some point he will buckle under the reality that his attraction signs don’t work and he will slink back to his regular SM sites. At least on the internet he gets some engagement, if only negative, but negative engagement is better in his mind than none at all.

Obviously he is the same pathetic Lucas doing all the same pathetic shit. He will be back to posting soon barring another hospital stay etc.

I agree: Lucas will return to SM. I can't resist speculating about Lucas's retreat from the internet. It's like picking at an old sore: waste of time, unpleasant, but tempting.

Hopefully I can purge this speculation from my system.

Spoiler: and the sperging continues

The recently discovered attraction signs contain a few interesting details. Lucas acknowledges his internet trolls. He directs people to his YouTube. He encourages his audience to "find" him "IRL." He announces a plan to use Cameo.

Lucas has not disavowed his old content. He's still directing people to it. And planning on producing Cameos, which means more content. Perhaps, in Lucas's mind, Cameo would provide him with up front cash and more control over his audience. Control over his audience is an ongoing issue with him, as he's constantly trying to weed out people who aren't from Spokane, and can't decide who he's addressing. Alas, we are his audience. But Lucas's hasn't given up on the great work of the past 9 years that is the Wern, and still wants people's eyes on his stuff. He's still putting up attraction signs "linking" to his YouTube.

Thera are two possibilities: 1) Lucas wants desperately to be online hunting for puss puss, and isn't because he doesn't have access to a phone or computer or, 2) Lucas wants desperately to be online hunting for puss puss, and isn't because some outside force is checking him. The former would have us believe Lucas cannot get his hands on a phone. The latter, that Lucas is capable of modifying his behavior in response to external forces, and that there is someone watching Lucas right now and exerting a positive influence on him. The list of candidates for such a role is small, as is Lucas' ability to follow instructions.

There's a third possibility: Lucas desperately wants to be online hunting for puss puss, but isn't because he thinks an IRL puss puss hunt with hand-drawn attraction signs will go better for him. Under this theory, Lucas is hoping to get his message across exclusively to the people of Spokane. He's not hoping that somebody in NY sees one of his videos. His hope is that someone in Spokane does, and takes him up on his offer to feed them. Messages targeted outside of Spokane only expose him to unwanted attention and grief from trolls, and are incapable of producing the results he desires. I don't take this theory very seriously, as it assumes too much deliberation on Lucas's part, and does not account for why he would abandon all SM activity (but for posting in YouTube comments).

Note that in the past Lucas has posted under pseudonyms like "John Smith," though this was done to evade bans. We do not know if he has undiscovered accounts that he is currently active on, only that his robustly developed SM accounts haven't been used in a while.

Those pictures are from when he was younger and don't show how bad he's aged. I'd suggest to use current ones that reflect his current "state".

I like that one of the more iconic creepy grin pictures was used (the one that appeared in trad media), but a more recognizable, updated pic of Lucas would probably serve the poster better. There is a wealth of extremely unflattering pictures of Lucas to choose from. Some of the pics @klickitat nabbed from his videos, for example.

Hahaha...if I get off work early today or tomorrow, I just might go put up a few of these and if I do, I'll post pictures.

Please do.

 

[Pump Meat]

Christ those chimp grimace pictures are haunting.

 

[Da Dude123]

Signs fit more with what I think Lucas wants, though. He doesn't actually want any zoomer baes to talk to him, he just wants to play victim and do his "comedy". Obviously, nobody with a brain cell is going to go to a smelly bus station to meet a bum making insane signs, and he's aware of this. Online, he tries to censor all comments made towards him. He doesn't want engagement. He wants you to give him free food for doing nothing.

I think you are giving Lucas too much credit. I believe that he does want zoomer baes to talk to him and thinks they should be interested in finding him IRL. After all, he is plenty good and the zoomer baes hate greed, love Bernie Sanders, and are sick of the money in power. Just sick of it! So, therefore, it only makes sense that they should be all in on making a trip to the bus station to look for the man with the pony tail with green shoe laces. And then he can schedule dinner or lunch at Twigz.

Sure, Lucas wants people to give him free food too. He is entitled. But he has a hope that these attraction signs will yeet him a bae. He is dumb enough to think these will work. Just like he is dumb enough to fall for every catfish and flew to Los Angeles to start a new life with a baby zoom. His ego is astounding and kind of like how Russell Greer thought that Katy Perry wanted to meet him to hook up with him. Lucas believes that he is plenty good and that the attractive zoomer baes should want to be with him.

 

[Obscenity Enthusiast]

I'm ready for some new content as much as everyone else, but can we all agree not to indulge this Cameo bullshit and give him any money? You saw what happened when people were paying him to make "insult comic" videos. The videos he made were awkward half-assed trash (even for Lucas standards) and it went to his head so much that this Cameo shit right now is probably a result of it at least to some degree. Feeding the cow is only gonna prolong the content drought.